EPTI have attended and I'm challenging myself to go them all this year in the hopes that someday I can find work using my camcorder. Even if I never get a job I will gladly return again and again because though my impact is minimal I want to give back to the community that has kept me entertained for over a year now. I also want to keep giving the fans access to content from their favorite players. While it's been a difficult march so far and Raleigh has been the biggest challenge I will take camcorder in hand again and again for the things I'm passionate about. I hope you enjoy my work, or folly, however you feel it should be called. Might as well read my articles and watch my videos. I'm gonna keep making them anyway.
I stood in a room filled with people. There were faces I recognized on all sides of me. In the crowd watching SeleCT was qxc talking to a fan. To my left was Tyler and HayprO. Walking past me behind was Slasher. However familiar this scene had become to me I was lost. My mind was clouded and the future uncertain. I couldn't focus on my work. The thursday which I was supposed to leave came with news most unexpected. Though surrounded by eSports it was not enough to remove the shadow of worry from my head. I offer my most sincere apologies to anyone I encountered that weekend. I am sorry that I was so unmotivated and distracted. Much like a player may have a bad event with poor results this event was my bad event. For me MLG Raleigh was a great day, but at the wrong time for me to truly enjoy it. A warning in advance there's a lot of my personal feelings about an event only distantly related to eSports strewn haphazardly about this post. It's impossible to keep my thoughts together right now, but specifically because of that I'm writing this. You may ask why and it's because I feel it's more authentic that way.
The Days Before:
Rolling over in the morning I knew there was work to do. Sitting up in my bed I reached for my phone. The cell phone was still alien to me and often overlooked, but it was slowly becoming a larger part of my life. There was a text which made me curious. It's not often I get a text. Who was it from? I smiled. It was from my best friend. I wondered what she had to say. Then I opened that text. Never will I forget the contents of that simple text. There were only five words and they are now permanently seared painfully in my memory. Immediately I felt sick. Looking around my room in vain disbelif I was dizzy. Nothing seemed real. The sheets still covering my body felt strange and unusual. Gravity seemed to increase and I couldn't rise to my feet instead falling onto my side reading it repeatedly until the words ceased to make sense. My best friend's life had been irrecovably changed forever. Then I was angry. Silently I got into the car with Arguyle later that day and talked as little as possible. Nothing could shake that information from my mind and it would plague me throughout the weekend.
After sending multiple faxes, making multiple phone calls, and checking the website several times I still was without travel benefits which were sorely needed now. I could offer no meaningful input. My thoughts were a mess. Incapable of putting for anything coherent myself I lost myself in a few games of League of Legends before going to sleep. Arguyle is the hero of this story. While I slept he coordinated travel on land and air. While I slept I had a nightmare which woke me abruptly that morning. It felt like I didn't sleep at all. That was a feeling which would persist throughout this journey into the abyss. Most times I pride myself on my mental fortitude. These days I was weak.
Day 1: Taking the Long Road
Atlanta, Georgia was the destination. All the flights into charlotte had too many people on standby to attempt to fly into there. Even if we had made it in there was nothing available for flying into Raleigh-Durham. It's a bit humorous to me that all the players, spectators, and others involved with MLG flying there were likely the cause of such full flights. I will expect that in the future, but Alanta made sense to us. Our teammate tehC0rnbread was going to drive up to MLG and Arguyle arranged for us to travel with. Flying into Atlanta was easy. I tried to sleep on the pane, but the dreams were unsettling and I spent most of the time waking myself up at the slightest hint of dreaming. After getting off the plane we walked out to meet Cornbread. He looked surprisingly like I expected, but with no hat. I always pictured him wearing a hat. We stopped at his truck to take inventory and something critical to the trip was missing.
Arguyle's paycheck which he had gotten that same morning in PHX was missing. After a search we determined it was dropped on the secure side of the airport. We would be unable to retrieve it. Now we were damned. Our return flight was out of Charlotte two days hence. Incapable of changing this we got into the truck and began the trip to MLG. It was three in the afternoon when we arrived. We knew we'd be late to MLG, but weren't expecting what was to come. Between us we called and sent messages to all we knew hoping to find someone who could save us and help came from the most unlikely source. Hours into the trip we were sitting in a McDonald's in South Caroline an hour from the North Carolina border.
One of the girls working there said "y'all" and I smiled. It immediately reminded me of a cute blonde girl I knew. That in turn reminded me something else, which roused another memory, and then reminded me of my best friend again. My appetite left me instantly and I used Cornbread's laptop to book the hotel. Arguyle walked in from outside. I don't even remember giving him my phone or him going outside. From the context I'm sure I let him use my phone, but it's blank space to me. On his face was a look of surprise. I panicked. My first thought was he'd read that text by accident. I felt sick again. The words which came out of his mouth as he returned my phone to me were unbelievable.
Arguyle's father is a trucker. As a last resort Arguyle called him and the news was amazing. His dad was in the same state as us. He was also travelling the same road and in the same direction. He was only an hour in front of us and agreed to meet us in Charlotte. Relieved now we got in the truck and powered onward as darkness fell. On the road I was amused and a little spooked at the presence of a vine called Kudzu. I'd learned about it before, but seeing it's presence all over the place made me sad about the future of such beautiful land. It covered trees. When I say this I mean it covered the whole damn tree. From the top of a pine to the bottom wrapped around it's trunk and draped over it's needles it was almost invisible under the Kudzu. I'm sorry pine tree that I could not stop to save you.
In Charlotte we met with Arguyle's dad. I stood back at the road away from the truck stop and looked on at the skyline. It brought back memories of the first trip I ever took and I thought about how far I'd developed as a person since then. My camera turned on as I filmed the skyline while speaking the thoughts of this paragraph into the microphone. I missed KimZ and Nessa. As soon as I said Nessa's name my mind was a mess again and I quickly turned the camera off and walked unsteadily back to the truck. We ate there and before leaving I called to double check the reservation with the hotel. Bad things don't just happen to me. Bad things overwhelm me, chain me down, and bludgeon me until I can't see straight. The hotel was overbooked.
After frantically trading phone calls between the hotel, the website I booked it through, and my bank nothing was resolved. I told my friends that we no longer had rooms to sleep in. I am privledged to know such resourceful people as Arguyle, Cornbread, and Depravation/Asphyxation/Xereith (whatever he goes by now) because without them there are many times when I would have gotten stuck in impossible situations. Those three laugh in the face of "can't" and "no" then proceed as planned regardless of how much red tape they need to cut or fences they need to jump over. With Asphyxiation at the computer and Cornbread coordinating on the phone we found a room. It began to rain and the wind picked up dramatically. Welcome to the hurricane. We pulled off on the side of the road just as it began so we could buy gas and make a couple calls to confirm the room and ask them to hold it. Feeling the cold wind on my face I smiled. Weather is something I enjoy. Then I remembered Nessa enjoys weather too and was immediately reminded of her message to me. I stumbled in place, but caught myself. Arguyle asked if I was ok. I told him I needed a brain abortion. My intent was to reference a lobotomy, but I forgot how to form words. That's how distracted I was. A candy bar was purchased. Momentarily I could ignore everything and instead focus on how awesome white chocolate is.
We pulled into the hotel parking lot and it was steadily raining. Our belongings sat in the back of the truck because there was no space in the cab. It was surprising that the contents of our bags were quite dry save for a little dampness due to the rampant humidity. We powered up our phones and the laptop and searched for rooms for the next two days. After the work was done it was time to rest. Arguyle found a movie on the television. We watched the last half of it and had never been so confused in out lives. There was a guy who ripped throats, a villain foiled by the celery-in-the-ass trick, a man who could not be made to eat his own dick due to it being blown off by a missile, and a minister taking a rocket-propelled grenade to the chest during a wedding ceremony. Bonus points to anyone who knows the name of the movie. How did that film get made? It's a live-action film.
Day 2: League of Stream Crashes
We drove from the hotel straight to MLG. We couldn't check into the new hotel until three in the afternoon. Parking in a nearby garage we walked to the convention center. It was cold and rainy. That's the way I like it. Upon typing the sentence before this I immediately regret a decorative pin I bought my best friend to wear. In fact I hate myself for buying it and wish anything to take it back. I'm horrible and deserve the bad things that happen to me. I can't f****** believe that pin now. It had a phrase written on it to be funny, but it ended up becoming a harsh lesson in reality. Why do these things happen? Nessa I'm sorry.
Back on topic now it was rainy and the wind. The wind and rain were so pleasant. Yes the rain was moderate and yes the wind was strong and could check me in place as I walked, but I loved it. Were the tip under my full control I would have gone storm chasing. The venue had tall windows and stairs. Stairs are amazing. When I'm not injured I prefer the stairs to elevators. There were escalators too. After buying my pass I looked down the hall as I entered and noticed we were on an upper floor. Smiling like I was a kid again I ran to the railing and looked out over the venue. The view was amazing, but it seemed smaller overall than the previous venues.
Taking the escalator down the first people I saw were Painuser and slasher. I greeted Painuser and went about by business tracking down players and saying hello. It was wonderful to see everyone again. Although I am only a tiny blip on their radar being recognized is a great feeling. Running about I tried to catch everyone I could and found many. There was so much smiling. I'm listening to Kanye West and can't think straight enough. Between this paragraph and the next I went to sleep distressed.
It's a different day now and I'm more focused to write. The feeling of responsibility is still unshakable. If I hadn't talked Nessa into going with me to MLG Columbus everything would be ok right now. Instead... well...
As excited as I saw to see all these people again all the conversation felt short and rushed regardless of who I spoke to. There's a clear memory of conversations held while watching games with some players. At this event I was lucky to trade sentences. I feel no sense of entitlement, but I do wonder if perhaps I'm being a bother. I try my best to not be invasive. I'm shy about when I approach players. It's an ever present worry in my mind that I'll be "that guy" who bothers players constantly for interviews. I don't want to be "that guy". I'm content to exchange hellos and move on if they don't feel like an interview. After hearing Tyler speak about it on an episode of State of the Game I'm even more focused on not getting in anyone's way. Inherently I think it's impossible to stay completely neutral and still ask for interviews. Is there an easier way without being a burden? The idea of taking enjoyment of the event away from a player saddens me and it's my goal to not be an annoyance. I worry about that a lot.
I tried to watch League of Legends, but the stream was still down. Watching over the shoulders of the players was difficult and we weren't allowed to have chairs. I'm excited about there being a new game. League has many players and I hope that support continues to grow for them. The competition is welcome and it's spectator system is good when it's working. I'm not gifted with height so I wandered back over to the featured stages of starcraft in search of more players. After asking a few and being told to "come find me again later" several times I left for lunch feeling a bit unhappy. To me the players' enjoyment of the event comes first so I shrugged it off and left the venue.
There was just not a lot of places to go for lunch. Walking through the wind and rain I went to a McDonalds not far from the venue. That is never my first choice for where I eat, but there was nothing else around that fell into my price range of less than five dollars. I was playing my favorite game "will my debit card clear?" each time I bought food that weekend. At any time I fully expected it to come up declined. My phone rang unexpectedly. Bandito was calling me. I spoke to him for a bit and after getting off the phone felt compelled to message KimZ and tell her I missed her. Typically my comedy is deadpan and my expression as blank as I can manage, but at these events it's different. The grins sneak up on me. Every moment spent at an MLG I want to share with all my friends. I want everyone to be as happy as I am. After lunch as I walked back to the venue looking around the windswept and empty streets of mid afternoon Raleigh I felt good. Here at MLG I am strong. There is no fear and there is no sadness. For me MLG brings freedom and joy to a life otherwise restricted and suppressed. It's the difference between being affected by Warwick's ult and and spinning through a wall with Tryndamere just not giving a damn about the concept of walls or barricades.
Back at the venue I felt good again. However after another attempt at watching league and another round of "ask me later" I felt sad again. Perhaps it was a bad day. Maybe it was just me. I assume it is. When I walked outside to see if Ret and CatZ were maybe there it was sunset. Impulsively I dashed to the parking garage and ran up six flights of stairs to the top level. Standing there I recorded the horizons around me. The vibrant pink sky casting a strange shade of color over my surroundings. Happiness overtook me again. The rest of the day yielded no interviews and no content, but much like players I guess other people have bad events too. Maybe this was just my bad event.
Day 3: Gatored to the rescue
When we got to the venue at noon we walked straight to League of Legends to find it finished. We were confused. The day before we understood it would run until roughly 2pm, but it finished in only two hours. We wanted to interview the League players and their caster. It was not to be unfortunately and we shook our heads and turned our attention to Starcraft. I hardly watched any games that weekend. With the news from my best friend haunting me any time my mind was left to wander and people declining interviews I began to enjoy this MLG less and less. Something changed my attitude again though.
HerO was playing a game. I saw TLO standing in the crowd and decided to watch the game with the intent to speak to him afterward and see if maybe he wanted an interview. TLO is at the top of my list for players I want to interview. There's so many questions I want to ask him. I want to know things about his time playing Supreme Commander, I want to know what it's like managing the injury and how he gets by, and I also want to know what it's like to play random at the top level and how good his protoss play is. Coincidentally I'm watching TLO's stream in the background while writing this. He has my favorite stream music followed by Heeromaki and IdrA's streams. I just looked at the clock. Damn it, I have to leave in a half an hour. I'm trying to hard to get this article finished as quickly as I can.
While watching HerO play I looked around at the crowd and was amused. All of Liquid was here. Sitting on the floor before me was TLO, Nazgul, and Kennigit. To my right HayprO, Ret and Tyler were standing watching. To the left there was R1ch talking to a fan while watching. Jinro was over near where R1ch was standing. HerO was sitting at the computer playing. In the player area I saw Sheth sitting. On the opposite side from us all looking at HerO's opponent's screen was Hot_Bid. There was that smile again on my face. Shaking my head I stepped away. I would not bother them after all and looked elsewhere for players.
As people were eliminated I wasted time standing at the bracket talking to the girl was managing it. I always forget her name every MLG. This is the first time she did Starcraft 2 all day. Usually she just showed up near the end of the night for a couple hours. What entertained me was the rubix cube a guy was holding. After making a comment he asked if I wanted to mix it up. Amused I did as requested and watched him solve it in less than thirty seconds after spending about a minute or so mixing it up. He then told me was the fifth fastest in the United States for being able to solve those. It was amazing to see.
I took a last walk around the venue from inside, to outside, and back into it again. Moving down the list I made one call or a single text to every player I had a phone number for. Hopefully I'd get something out of it. I'm hesitant to contact them by phone, but it was late in the day. There were only four matches left to be played and I had no content from this event yet. HerO was now playing DongRaeGu and I stood watching. DRG's use of only zerglings for the first many minutes of the game fascinated me. Then I saw It's GoSu's Gatored in the crowd. I stepped up to talk to him.
Gatored is one of my favorite players. Having been able to see him play in person before was a privledge I'm thankful for. We spoke a bit about the game, talked about how each other's weekends were going, and he asked me how many interviews I'd gotten so far this event. He seemed surprised when I said none. I asked if he'd be willing to do one since I hadn't gotten video on him in a couple events now and I try to get interviews with players I've gotten video on before in order to sort of follow their progress as events pass.
Gatored is a good interview. Any time he's in front of my camera I know that the content will be good. He speaks well and answers questions fully. It's very easy to bounce questions off of him in an interview. I wish I could get content from him every event. qxc, Gret0rp, TT1, and Ret were other players who were rather animated in conversation and easy to work with. Some others' were a bit less smooth, but that isn't bad by any means. A rough interview may have oddly placed pauses or snags, but the content is still there. Thank you Gatored. You're my only interview from MLG Raleigh, but your interviews are some of my favorites that I've done. Wp sir.
As the event ended we saw Bomber standing on the stage as the champion. I was happy for Bomber. He seemed a little nervous or perhaps uncomfortable on stage for the ceremony at the end. We left the venue and were then told there's no alcohol on Sundays in North Carolina. We sighed and moved on with our evening minus the usual bar trip. There was probably a party somewhere, but we just weren't cool enough to know where it was. Damn you MLG Columbus for being amazing and placing my expectations so high. Thought maybe it was Nessa who made that happen. Yes, it was Nessa. Damn it now I'm worrying about her again. Well my mind was too busy to think of her situation while writing this up until now so that's a bonus. I'm keeping my thoughts as busy as possible to avoid idle drift. Family Guy, American Dad, and King of the Hill were on TV back at the hotel so it ended on a fun note.
The Days After: What tomorrow brings
Monday we woke up and got into the truck to drive to Charlotte. This would not be a pleasant ride for me. Arguyle told me I'd now have a quota or he wouldn't get me discounted flights to events anymore. It costs him nothing to arrange me a flight, but he's given me a quote regardless. I find it strange that despite it being me who began this chain of events without him am now slave to his whims now that he's involved. "If you're gonna make me come to events and not even get content you're going to have to do better or I won't fly you out anymore." he said to me. This is a friend of mine. He is also a genius and I never expected to met with such force about this project. I fail to see how I was dragging him to events. I can go alone if needed and never expect to be working with others on any trip. Each time I plan to attend and MLG I plan as if I were going alone and had to do everything myself. Saying he was dragged out here offended me. He could have remained home and I gone solo. He also told me how I need to be going about getting interviews. He does no camera work himself. I do all of the production myself and he now is telling me how to do my work in addition to giving me a quota. I'm sad that I must suffer this from one of my smarter friends, but if I must then I will. Now I must plan as if I have no airplanes. Have I failed so much? During the end of this trip I kept asking myself where I went wrong. Whatever I did to cause all this escapes me.
Charlotte to Phoenix had all of it's flights full. We had to pull some tricky stuff to get ourselves moved to an SA-1 in order to get on and we were the last standbys to make it. Arguyle is a wizard who grows more powerful as the situation gets more complicated and urgent. The more screwed up things are the better he is. That man is a genius and despite him effectively hijacking my entire production from me after I was the one who brought him into it I will still regard him as brilliant. Ninety percent of the time he may be an idiot who babbles incoherently, but the other ten percent of the time he operates at MENSA level intelligence and nothing can stop him. This whole trip is evidence of that. He got us on that plane and we flew home.
Phone calls were made to try and sort out the money paid out to the hotel. It was still in limbo as pending. After speaking to my bank I was told it should fix itself after a couple days. Luckily I had far more in my bank account than I thought and was able to withdraw enough to pay my rent. Nervous I called Nessa that day and spoke to her. She sounded a little less panicked, but still worried. Something was wrong with her voice. It kept slipping into a tone I rarely heard and it made me concerned. She's a strong woman and to see her shaken really frightens me because it takes something major in order to even make her blink at something. Nessa would have liked to see me, but I told her Arguyle wouldn't let me use the planes. It's sad that I had to tell her this because though they are having a bit of a fight now Arguyle and Nessa would consider eachother friends. I am sorry I could not tell you her circumstances in detail Arguyle, but I assure you my travel at that time would have been important to her. Even now on Tuesday I am trying my hardest to get six hundred dollars to take a full price flight out Thursday night to see her Friday morning and then promptly fly back again that night to work on Saturday morning.
Thinking about it now makes my appetite vanish. The food before me I'd been eating is repulsive now. MLG Raleigh I am glad that you are over. To the readers MLG Orlando will be amazing. I have big plans to attack it like I'd never attempted to do before with my media. It will be amazing and you will all get to see just what I am capable of on a good day. thank you for reading my friends and for bearing with me through this troublesome weekend. MLG Orlando is my next stop and I hope to see you all there. Come say hi if you feel like it. Also I didn't proofread this because I just want to be done with Raleigh. As of this posting it is finally over for me. Event broadcast and games were great, but everything else sucked.
Here is my single MLG Raleigh interview. Gatored you are amazing, thank you so much.
