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Blogs > DoctorHelvetica
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DoctorHelvetica
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States15034 Posts
July 28 2011 00:55 GMT
#1
I've been doing great over the last month. My urge to self-harm is all but gone and the drugs I was taking (venlafaxine) are now out of my system. No longer am I having delusions or thoughts of death. I've lost friends in this experience. I lost my best friend. He told me I was a selfish idiot, that he didn't care if I died, and as torn up as I am about that I realized there were a lot of people in my life that didn't understand what I was going through and that I needed to cut the negativity out of my life.

I'm still a bit lonely. A lot lonely, but I'm content. I'm in a great relationship right now, starting school soon, looking for work instead of moping around, I think things are starting to turn around. I've picked up some bad habits (I've started smoking to replace drinking/cutting) but I feel fine.

So I know a lot of people have sent me PM's and worried and I didn't respond to many. My inbox was pretty much bombed and I read a lot of what people sent me and it meant a lot so I just want to thank everybody who showed concern. I'm doing fine. I'll probably play mafia again here soon. I'd even say I'm pretty happy right now.

****
RIP Aaliyah
Torte de Lini
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Germany38463 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-28 00:58:42
July 28 2011 00:58 GMT
#2
yayfor Dr. H D: ~<3
https://twitter.com/#!/TorteDeLini (@TorteDeLini)
Varpulis
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States2517 Posts
July 28 2011 01:01 GMT
#3
<3

great to hear that you're doing better.

A friend who doesn't care about your wellbeing isn't a good friend, so good riddance, i'd say.
For he is the Oystermeister, lord of all the oysters.
SonuvBob
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Aiur21550 Posts
July 28 2011 01:01 GMT
#4
Glad to hear it. :D
Administrator
DoctorHelvetica
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States15034 Posts
July 28 2011 01:01 GMT
#5
we had been growing apart and his reaction to my suffering for years was just to mock me really
i should have seen it coming
RIP Aaliyah
Probulous
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Australia3894 Posts
July 28 2011 01:08 GMT
#6
Welcome back!

Long road ahead, but we are all sure you can walk it.

Good luck mate
"Dude has some really interesting midgame switches that I wouldn't have expected. "I violated your house" into "HIHO THE DAIRY OH!" really threw me. You don't usually expect children's poetry harass as a follow up " - AmericanUmlaut
unit
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States2621 Posts
July 28 2011 01:16 GMT
#7
so great to hear that you're better, :D:D:D love ya bro keep going
Archas
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6531 Posts
July 28 2011 01:20 GMT
#8
If you ever try to commit suicide again, Doc, I'll kill you.

+ Show Spoiler +
Welcome back, man.
The room is ripe with the stench of bitches!
MoonBear
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Straight outta Johto18973 Posts
July 28 2011 01:24 GMT
#9
Stay strong <3
ModeratorA dream. Do you have one that has cursed you like that? Or maybe... a wish?
ShaperofDreams
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada2492 Posts
July 28 2011 01:24 GMT
#10
Oh wow first time I heard about this. I'm glad you're better man! The universe is stock full of potential and possibility, your future is gonna be awesome!
Bitches don't know about my overlord. FUCK OFF ALDARIS I HAVE ENOUGH PYLONS. My Balls are as smooth as Eggs.
ghrur
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States3786 Posts
July 28 2011 01:25 GMT
#11
Oh thank god you're okay. Glad to have you back. :D
darkness overpowering
Trozz
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada3456 Posts
July 28 2011 01:27 GMT
#12
Thanks for the great news. :D
You are my favorite font.
I like your blogs too.
A build is not a guess, an estimation or a hunch, a feeling, or a foolish intuition. A build is a dependable, unwavering, unarguably accurate, portrayer of your ambition.
BroOd
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
Austin10833 Posts
July 28 2011 01:28 GMT
#13
Good to have you back.
ModeratorSIRL and JLIG.
pheer
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
5392 Posts
July 28 2011 01:28 GMT
#14
That is very great news DH. Something uplifting to do if you're lonely or bored is listen to good music really loud, or watch documentaries that make you feel good about the world. You know I've got enough of both to get you started; just ask
Moderator
tonight
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
United States11130 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-28 01:31:07
July 28 2011 01:30 GMT
#15
Stop watching all those horror flicks, dude.

Great to hear you're doing well.
if I come without a thing, then I come with all I need @tonightsend
DoctorHelvetica
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States15034 Posts
July 28 2011 01:33 GMT
#16
On July 28 2011 10:30 tonight wrote:
Stop watching all those horror flicks, dude.

Great to hear you're doing well.

part of what has made me happier was that i've been watching more horror films!!!!!!! i love them they make me happy it isn't depressing at all
RIP Aaliyah
XsebT
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Denmark2980 Posts
July 28 2011 01:47 GMT
#17
Super nice to hear you have positive attitude now.

<3
화이팅
conTAgi0n
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States335 Posts
July 28 2011 01:48 GMT
#18
Oh man I'm glad to hear you're doing better, I was actually really worried when I read that other blog you wrote.

Always enjoyed reading your articles when I was still lurking btw, good stuff.
Bereft
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States1007 Posts
July 28 2011 01:50 GMT
#19
Glad to hear your update :D.
Corinthos *
Profile Blog Joined February 2006
Canada1842 Posts
July 28 2011 02:29 GMT
#20
welcome back.
tree.hugger
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Philadelphia, PA10406 Posts
July 28 2011 02:43 GMT
#21
On July 28 2011 10:01 SonuvBob wrote:
Glad to hear it. :D

ModeratorEffOrt, Snow, GuMiho, and Team Liquid
Heyoka
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Katowice25012 Posts
July 28 2011 03:21 GMT
#22
Best of luck in the future Dr H
@RealHeyoka | ESL / DreamHack StarCraft Lead
boesthius
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States11637 Posts
July 28 2011 04:05 GMT
#23
--- Nuked ---
HawaiianPig
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Canada5155 Posts
July 28 2011 04:48 GMT
#24
Glad to hear you pulled through man. Things are looking up!
AdministratorNot actually Hawaiian.
]343[
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States10328 Posts
July 28 2011 05:46 GMT
#25
Writer
Meapak_Ziphh
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States6786 Posts
July 28 2011 05:54 GMT
#26
Glad to hear you're doing better. The mafia forum will welcome you with open arms.
Forti et Fideli ~ TL Mafia Forum: Come play with us! ~ Go Samsung KHAN, Stork, JangBi , Shine, Grape, and TurN Fighting!~ wat
Smix *
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States4549 Posts
July 28 2011 05:55 GMT
#27
<3
TranslatorBe an Optimist Prime, Not a Negatron // twitter @smixity
rabidch
Profile Joined January 2010
United States20289 Posts
July 28 2011 06:09 GMT
#28
you're an awesome part of TL, glad you've gotten better since that earlier blog
LiquidDota StaffOnly a true king can play the King.
FractalsOnFire
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia1756 Posts
July 28 2011 06:42 GMT
#29
Nice, its good to know you're back on your feet. When i feel bit sad i always listen to upbeat and happy music. Always makes me feel great no matter how tacky the song.
Deleted User 3420
Profile Blog Joined May 2003
24492 Posts
July 28 2011 08:14 GMT
#30
nice
TheAmazombie
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States3714 Posts
July 28 2011 09:02 GMT
#31
Great Doctor! Glad to hear things are looking up for you. TL is always here for you...as for the smoking, eh, whatever. Everyone has to have a vice. Mine is also smoking. I tell my mom, "You know, I never came home drunk, never really got in trouble at school, was never into drugs or anything like that, never got some random chic knocked up, never broke a bone, was never arrested, so please, let me have my love affair with sweet lady tobacco."

=)
We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness. Without these qualities, life will be violent and all will be lost. -Charlie Chaplin
Beyonder
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
Netherlands15103 Posts
July 28 2011 09:10 GMT
#32
YEEEEEES :D This makes me really happy to read. Good job on all the hard work man !
Moderator
DivinO
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States4796 Posts
July 28 2011 09:28 GMT
#33
Always amazing to hear from you, Doc. Hope you know that. Lemme know if you ever want to talk. :D
LiquipediaBrain in my filth.
CaucasianAsian
Profile Blog Joined September 2005
Korea (South)11586 Posts
July 28 2011 09:37 GMT
#34
awesome! Glad you're doing better. You're an awesome guy and keep it up! Although now that you started smoking I have to warn you. It's sooooooooo hard to quit. I tried a good 6 months ago. Lasted for a while. But shit happens. Whatever you do, don't start smoking a pack a day!

With that aside, if I could I'd buy you a beer, or give you a high five, or something! So if I ever get the chance to meet you, we'll do something!
Calendar@ Fish Server: `iOps]..Stark
Kurumi
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Poland6130 Posts
July 28 2011 11:06 GMT
#35
DrH Big Bad Mean World 1:0
Play some Mafia games when You have time <3
DOCTOR HELVETICA HWAITING~~~~~~~~
I work alone. // Visit TL Mafia subforum!
Excalibur_Z
Profile Joined October 2002
United States12240 Posts
July 28 2011 15:23 GMT
#36
Keep on this path Dr H, TL is behind you 100% :>
Moderator
Zorkmid
Profile Joined November 2008
4410 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-28 15:50:54
July 28 2011 15:35 GMT
#37
On July 28 2011 10:01 DoctorHelvetica wrote:
we had been growing apart and his reaction to my suffering for years was just to mock me really
i should have seen it coming


He was most likely trying to help.

Discovered your horror thread just lately, it's GREAT! You should update the OP sometime when you're feeling up to it.
Beyonder
Profile Blog Joined September 2002
Netherlands15103 Posts
July 28 2011 15:45 GMT
#38
On July 29 2011 00:35 Zorkmid wrote:
Show nested quote +
On July 28 2011 10:01 DoctorHelvetica wrote:
we had been growing apart and his reaction to my suffering for years was just to mock me really
i should have seen it coming


He was most likely trying to help.

Yeah it sounds likely. Dont think he knew how to handle the situation at all.. Its hard, more so if one is young.
Moderator
Gann1
Profile Joined July 2009
United States1575 Posts
July 28 2011 15:59 GMT
#39
<3 u DH
I drop suckas like Plinko
Whole
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States6046 Posts
July 28 2011 16:10 GMT
#40
DoctorHelvetica fighting!!!

(Well that is surprisingly fun to say IRL)
Scaramanga
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Australia8091 Posts
July 28 2011 17:15 GMT
#41
Yay drh great news :D
Loda talked about the fun counter, it's AdmiralBulldog on his natures prophet
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
July 28 2011 18:00 GMT
#42
Come back to Maplestory~ =P
[TLMS] REBOOT
ShoCkeyy
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
7815 Posts
July 28 2011 18:02 GMT
#43
Disappear like this again DrH. I will find you.

Glad to hear you're doing fine though
Life?
Fulgrim
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States560 Posts
July 28 2011 18:02 GMT
#44
<3 DrH, glad that your doing well
One does not simply walk into mordor
Kerotan
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
England2109 Posts
July 28 2011 18:06 GMT
#45
Glad to have you back.
Nerdette // External revolution - Internal revolution // Fabulous // I raise my hands to heaven of curiosity // I don't know what to ask for // What has it got for me? // Kerribear
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
July 28 2011 18:10 GMT
#46
welcome back to reality
why so 진지해?
PassiveAce
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States18076 Posts
July 28 2011 18:13 GMT
#47
Stay strong.
Call me Marge Simpson cuz I love you homie
djbhINDI
Profile Joined June 2011
United States372 Posts
July 28 2011 18:45 GMT
#48
Dr., your final edits are damn masterpieces. Don't ever think of self harm, man. You're an amazing writer.
You can't emphasize enough how much you need to be a paradigm shifter. - Savior
DroneAllDay
Profile Joined April 2011
United States140 Posts
July 28 2011 18:46 GMT
#49
Yay the Doc is a-OK, I said it in the last thread I'm just a little new guy and don't know all the big names in the community but I'm glad I can know you now! ^^
Don't pressure me please, I like my drones too much
Rinrun
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada3509 Posts
July 28 2011 18:47 GMT
#50
To you- all the best.
MBC/Liquid/TSM always.
funkie
Profile Blog Joined November 2005
Venezuela9376 Posts
July 28 2011 21:39 GMT
#51
te queremos puto.

no te hagas daño .
CJ Entusman #6! · Strength is the basis of athletic ability. -Rippetoe /* http://j.mp/TL-App <- TL iPhone App 2.0! */
SnowFantasy
Profile Blog Joined September 2006
4173 Posts
July 28 2011 21:52 GMT
#52
Recently I was actually beginning to wonder how you were doing when I didn't see you post much for a while. So glad to see this thread... keep up the good work!
Necosarius
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
Sweden4042 Posts
July 28 2011 21:57 GMT
#53
Welcome back
PaPoolee
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Netherlands660 Posts
July 28 2011 22:05 GMT
#54
Welcome back, glad to hear that you are happy and doing well, take care .
shinosai
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States1577 Posts
July 28 2011 22:12 GMT
#55
I lost my best friend, too, during one of those bouts of depression. Haven't spoken in over two years. The pain of loss will fade with time, though. It hardly affects me at all today. Glad to hear you're doing better.
Be versatile, know when to retreat, and carry a big gun.
Tuke
Profile Joined January 2009
Finland1666 Posts
July 28 2011 22:15 GMT
#56
I'm glad to hear you're doing well
TeamLiquid CJ Entusman #42
kOre
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Canada3642 Posts
July 28 2011 22:26 GMT
#57
DrH is baaaaaaaaack!
http://www.starcraftmecca.net - Founder
Z3kk
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
4099 Posts
July 28 2011 22:33 GMT
#58
Good to see you back again!

Try to quit smoking though, if you can stop early.
Failure is not falling down over and over again. Failure is refusing to get back up.
heishe
Profile Blog Joined June 2009
Germany2284 Posts
July 28 2011 22:33 GMT
#59
Awesome to hear. Overcoming depression is one of the hardest things you can achieve.
If you value your soul, never look into the eye of a horse. Your soul will forever be lost in the void of the horse.
s.a.y
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Croatia3840 Posts
July 28 2011 22:55 GMT
#60
You need to live to see the next Radiohead concerts. <3

Glad you are back
I am not good with quotes
Mikilatov
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States3897 Posts
July 29 2011 01:56 GMT
#61
<333. Was worried over the past while... Glad to hear you're okay.
♥ I used to lasso the shit out of your tournaments =( ♥ | Much is my hero. | zizi yO~ | Be Nice, TL.
Z3kk
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
4099 Posts
July 29 2011 02:02 GMT
#62
Did you notice that we remembered your birthday? :3
Failure is not falling down over and over again. Failure is refusing to get back up.
flamewheel
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
July 29 2011 10:04 GMT
#63
I'll host a game of Mafia just for you DrH. Just say the word.
Writerdamn, i was two days from retirement
GHOSTCLAW
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States17042 Posts
July 29 2011 15:29 GMT
#64
All of my offers for everything are still open ^^ Great to hear though.
PhotographerLiquipedia. Drop me a pm if you've got questions/need help.
Roffles *
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
Pitcairn19291 Posts
July 29 2011 15:40 GMT
#65
Yay.
God Bless
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
July 29 2011 16:02 GMT
#66
On a random whim, decided to analyze the average post count of the posters here (seeing a lot of veterans).
- Only counting once per poster (no matter how many replies they posted here)
- SonuvBob (admin) = 18838 (had to go look into his profile)
- From OP (DoctorHelvetica) to my last post on view (Roffles)

# of unique posters: 61
Mean: 4326.07 (can any other blog beat this?)
St.Error: 596.55
Median: 2457 (ShaperofDreams)
St.Dev: 4659.20
Sum: 263890 (lol)

Booo I'm below the mean =(



[TLMS] REBOOT
DoctorHelvetica
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States15034 Posts
July 30 2011 02:56 GMT
#67
On July 30 2011 01:02 OpticalShot wrote:
On a random whim, decided to analyze the average post count of the posters here (seeing a lot of veterans).
- Only counting once per poster (no matter how many replies they posted here)
- SonuvBob (admin) = 18838 (had to go look into his profile)
- From OP (DoctorHelvetica) to my last post on view (Roffles)

# of unique posters: 61
Mean: 4326.07 (can any other blog beat this?)
St.Error: 596.55
Median: 2457 (ShaperofDreams)
St.Dev: 4659.20
Sum: 263890 (lol)

Booo I'm below the mean =(




It's not a surprise I was only relevant on TL about a year and a half ago when i was on writing staff. Since I don't care about SC2, I don't see why newbies would even know who I am. It's nice to see familiar names though.

RIP Aaliyah
dudeman001
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States2412 Posts
July 30 2011 05:47 GMT
#68
Many hearts Dr. H. Many hearts :D <333333333333333333333333333333
Sup.
OrderlyChaos
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States1115 Posts
July 30 2011 05:59 GMT
#69
I enjoyed your writing back in the day, so I'm glad to see you're doing better. ^_^
HeavOnEarth
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States7087 Posts
July 30 2011 06:10 GMT
#70
hi dr.h =3 *hugs*
"come korea next time... FXO house... 10 korean, 10 korean"
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