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Boxers protip

Blogs > N3rV[Green]
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 Next All
N3rV[Green]
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States1935 Posts
July 19 2011 07:54 GMT
#1
So, today I took a shower, pretty standard most would say. But then, being the lazy slob that I am when OUT of the shower, reached for the boxers I had thrown onto the floor. I mean, I had only worn them for half a day, they can't be horrible or anything right?

FUCKING WRONG.

Lift up boxers, out drops a fucking 4 or 5 inch long thick as fuck scorpion. It actually made a THUD sound when it hit the ground.

So here's my protip. Always, and I mean ALWAYS shake out for damn underwear.




A fucking scorpion man.....and it was right where my balls were about to be.


Blah blah losing streak.

Blah blah ladder rage

Blah blah hurting esports

Blah blah how do I talk to girls?

Blog section needs more near death experiences IMO.


****
Never fear the darkness, Bran. The strongest trees are rooted in the dark places of the earth. Darkness will be your cloak, your shield, your mother's milk. Darkness will make you strong.
zatic
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
Zurich15325 Posts
July 19 2011 07:56 GMT
#2
Best deceptive blog title in a while.
ModeratorI know Teamliquid is known as a massive building
BloodyC0bbler
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
Canada7875 Posts
July 19 2011 07:56 GMT
#3
Came in expecting terrible blog, instead laughed hysterically.

Awesome.
#3 Member of the Chill Fanclub / Rhaegar fought nobly. Rhaegar fought valiantly. Rhaegar fought honorably. And Rhaeger died. --Ser Jorah Mormont TL MAFIA FORUM http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/index.php?show_part=31 go go !
AnxiousHippo
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Australia1451 Posts
July 19 2011 07:57 GMT
#4
Holy crap dude. Where in the U.S. are you if you're getting scorpions in your bathroom? Did you kill it?
An apple a day keeps the Protoss away | TLHF
HawaiianPig
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Canada5155 Posts
July 19 2011 07:57 GMT
#5
5/5
AdministratorNot actually Hawaiian.
Rhaegar99
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Australia1190 Posts
July 19 2011 07:58 GMT
#6
5 star blog
Adebisi
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada1637 Posts
July 19 2011 07:59 GMT
#7
On July 19 2011 16:57 AnxiousHippo wrote:
Holy crap dude. Where in the U.S. are you if you're getting scorpions in your bathroom? Did you kill it?

Indeed.

DETAILS PLEASE.
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24652 Posts
July 19 2011 07:59 GMT
#8
Honestly if I lived in a place where there were scorpions I'd leave almost nothing (especially clothing) laying on the floor LOL
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
Dhalphir
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
Australia1305 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-19 08:02:03
July 19 2011 08:01 GMT
#9
related story from a forumer posted on Penny Arcade a couple years back

Munkus Beaver wrote:
I woke up and ran my hand across something. I was in a sleepy daze and confused as to what it was, thinking it may be one of my dog's toys that I was unfamiliar with. I then gazed upon the black beast, the scorpion. I grabbed one of my dog's chew bones and I slammed down on the scorpion. Thinking it dead, I lifted my weapon and checked to see if it was real or a dream.

It was a nightmare, its tail wrapped in a mortal coil, black heart still beating.

The beast was not slain.

It scurried off, desperate to find shelter, uncoiled tail lashing black death at its unseen attacker. I knew I had to strike again, failure here meant a spurned beast yearning for vengeance beneath my hearth and home. Never again would sweet sleep carass me gently into the night while this abomination lurked in the shadows.

STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! Still it moved! STRIKE! Still but not dazed, it scurries more! STRIKE! Its impenetrable shell curses my every move, the black obsidan absorbing each blow into its dark abyss. Its freedom, my doom, lay inches before it. In an act of desperation I lunged, all of my might flowing through the chew-bone, and I pressed forth on the black demon.

I put all of my power, the weight of the world, into breaking the blackened armor of the beast. I held still, never relenting the force, keeping constant, crushing power and holding my entire weight on top of the bone.

*snap*

The armor had broken.

The needle tail lay still.

The beast did not stir.

I was victorious.
Supporting TypeII Gaming - www.typeii.net - TypeReaL, TypePhoeNix, TypeSuN, TypeDBS!!
hazelynut
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States2195 Posts
July 19 2011 08:01 GMT
#10
thanks for sharing. you've spiced up the blog section ... O_O
Zerg | life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery | www.cstarleague.com <3
frogurt
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
Australia907 Posts
July 19 2011 08:02 GMT
#11
Came here expecting Boxer's Team-Melee practice tip, got much more than i bargained for.

Also Australian spider's love making shoes their home, too bad they get smooshed instead of getting an opportunity to sting some guy's goolies.
"Koreans own white dudes" -Moon
Pawsom
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States928 Posts
July 19 2011 08:03 GMT
#12
On July 19 2011 16:59 micronesia wrote:
Honestly if I lived in a place where there were scorpions I'd leave almost nothing (especially clothing) laying on the floor LOL



I get centipedes in my basement, and they're creepy enough. I can't imagine anything that gross and dangerous too.
Noe
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Sweden80 Posts
July 19 2011 08:05 GMT
#13
Hahahah, whaaaaaaaat? I was expecting some BoxeR quote, and then just died laughing.
Artifice
Profile Joined May 2010
United States523 Posts
July 19 2011 08:05 GMT
#14
If that happened to me I would move out immediately. What the fuck.
Azzur
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
Australia6259 Posts
July 19 2011 08:06 GMT
#15
5/5!

+1 for the title as well!

Over here in Aust, I shake out my shoes for spiders like to hide in them.
Cow
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada1104 Posts
July 19 2011 08:07 GMT
#16
Was expecting something about trusting CPUs, this is equally as entertaining however.
R.I.P. Nujabes ♫
Roe
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada6002 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-19 08:08:38
July 19 2011 08:07 GMT
#17
On July 19 2011 16:54 N3rV[Green] wrote:
So, today I took a shower, pretty standard

ahhhh, that brings me back to the day9 drinking game
Iplaythings
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Denmark9110 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-19 08:22:44
July 19 2011 08:22 GMT
#18
Lol this was an unexpectedly good read haha
5/5
In the woods, there lurks..
shannn
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Netherlands2891 Posts
July 19 2011 08:30 GMT
#19
You surely know how to get someone's attention don't you OP LOL!
5/5 cuz you are so smart
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewpost.php?post_id=6321864 Epic post.
nayumi
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Australia6499 Posts
July 19 2011 08:40 GMT
#20
best blog of the week imo!
Sugoi monogatari onii-chan!
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