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So, today I took a shower, pretty standard most would say. But then, being the lazy slob that I am when OUT of the shower, reached for the boxers I had thrown onto the floor. I mean, I had only worn them for half a day, they can't be horrible or anything right?
FUCKING WRONG.
Lift up boxers, out drops a fucking 4 or 5 inch long thick as fuck scorpion. It actually made a THUD sound when it hit the ground.
So here's my protip. Always, and I mean ALWAYS shake out for damn underwear.
A fucking scorpion man.....and it was right where my balls were about to be.
Blah blah losing streak.
Blah blah ladder rage
Blah blah hurting esports
Blah blah how do I talk to girls?
Blog section needs more near death experiences IMO.
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Zurich15306 Posts
Best deceptive blog title in a while.
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Came in expecting terrible blog, instead laughed hysterically.
Awesome.
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Holy crap dude. Where in the U.S. are you if you're getting scorpions in your bathroom? Did you kill it?
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Canada5155 Posts
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Canada1637 Posts
On July 19 2011 16:57 AnxiousHippo wrote: Holy crap dude. Where in the U.S. are you if you're getting scorpions in your bathroom? Did you kill it? Indeed.
DETAILS PLEASE.
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United States24497 Posts
Honestly if I lived in a place where there were scorpions I'd leave almost nothing (especially clothing) laying on the floor LOL
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related story from a forumer posted on Penny Arcade a couple years back
Munkus Beaver wrote: I woke up and ran my hand across something. I was in a sleepy daze and confused as to what it was, thinking it may be one of my dog's toys that I was unfamiliar with. I then gazed upon the black beast, the scorpion. I grabbed one of my dog's chew bones and I slammed down on the scorpion. Thinking it dead, I lifted my weapon and checked to see if it was real or a dream.
It was a nightmare, its tail wrapped in a mortal coil, black heart still beating.
The beast was not slain.
It scurried off, desperate to find shelter, uncoiled tail lashing black death at its unseen attacker. I knew I had to strike again, failure here meant a spurned beast yearning for vengeance beneath my hearth and home. Never again would sweet sleep carass me gently into the night while this abomination lurked in the shadows.
STRIKE! STRIKE! STRIKE! Still it moved! STRIKE! Still but not dazed, it scurries more! STRIKE! Its impenetrable shell curses my every move, the black obsidan absorbing each blow into its dark abyss. Its freedom, my doom, lay inches before it. In an act of desperation I lunged, all of my might flowing through the chew-bone, and I pressed forth on the black demon.
I put all of my power, the weight of the world, into breaking the blackened armor of the beast. I held still, never relenting the force, keeping constant, crushing power and holding my entire weight on top of the bone.
*snap*
The armor had broken.
The needle tail lay still.
The beast did not stir.
I was victorious.
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thanks for sharing. you've spiced up the blog section ... O_O
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Came here expecting Boxer's Team-Melee practice tip, got much more than i bargained for.
Also Australian spider's love making shoes their home, too bad they get smooshed instead of getting an opportunity to sting some guy's goolies.
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On July 19 2011 16:59 micronesia wrote: Honestly if I lived in a place where there were scorpions I'd leave almost nothing (especially clothing) laying on the floor LOL
I get centipedes in my basement, and they're creepy enough. I can't imagine anything that gross and dangerous too.
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Hahahah, whaaaaaaaat? I was expecting some BoxeR quote, and then just died laughing.
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If that happened to me I would move out immediately. What the fuck.
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5/5!
+1 for the title as well!
Over here in Aust, I shake out my shoes for spiders like to hide in them.
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Was expecting something about trusting CPUs, this is equally as entertaining however.
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On July 19 2011 16:54 N3rV[Green] wrote: So, today I took a shower, pretty standard
ahhhh, that brings me back to the day9 drinking game
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Lol this was an unexpectedly good read haha 5/5
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You surely know how to get someone's attention don't you OP LOL! 5/5 cuz you are so smart
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best blog of the week imo!
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