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[Story] The Ant and the magics!

Blogs > Joeeigel
Post a Reply
Joeeigel
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United Kingdom328 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-19 04:21:42
July 19 2011 04:09 GMT
#1
I wrote this story a month or so ago and completely lost it, I recently found it again and removed the all caps and a few typos, if you wish to read the original version, it's in the spoilers. The fixed one follows.

+ Show Spoiler +
ONCE UPON THE TIMES THER WAS AN ANT WHO LIVED IN AN ANT HILL WITH OTHER ANTS ONE DAY HE WENT OUTSIDE OF THE ANT HILL BECAUSE IT WAS A WARM DAY AND THE ANT WANTED TO GO OUTSIDE TO COOL DOWN ON HIS TRAVELS OUTSIDE TO DO HIS COOLNIGS HE RAN INTO ONE OF THE MAGICS!!

THE MAGICS TOLD HIM THAT IF HE WAS A GOOD AND AND HELPED THE MAGICS THE MAGICS WOULD GRANT HIM THE POWER OF MAKING BREAD FOR THE OTHER ANTS TO EAT ANTS LOVE BREAD, SO HE AGREED THE MAGICS TOLD THE ANT THAT HE NEEDED 3 INGREEDIENTS FOR A POTION TO SAVE HIS PEOPLES HE NEEDED FRESH FRUITS FROM THE FOREST NEAR THE AND HILLS ANT HOME HE NEEDED A VIAL OF WATER FROM THE POOL OF EVERLASTING WATER AND HE NEEDED THE BOSTON RED SOX TO WIN THE WORLD SERIESES!!! THE ANT BELEIVED HE COULD ACCOMPLISH ALL THESE TASKS WITH THE VERY EASYNESSES SO HE AGREED AND EHADED INTO THE FOREST

WHILE THE ANT WAS IN THE FOREST HE MET SOME OF HIS ANT FRIENDS THERE WHO WERE PLAYING A GAME KNOWN AS 'DOGGING BEHIND A TREE' THE AND WAS VERY INTREGUGED BUT HIS MISSINO WAS CLEAR TO FIND THE FRESHEST FRUITS OF THESE LANDS AND DELIVER THEM TO THE MAGICS WHITH HASTE!!!!!!!! THE ANTINGTON THEN HEADED DEEPER INTO THE FOREST AND SAW TREES AS TALL AS OTHER TREES WHILE HE WAS LOOKING AT THE TREES HE SAW FRUITS IN THEM AND THE ANT THOUGHT TO HIMSELF 'HEY I NEED FRUITS FROM THIS FOREST, THOSE FRUITS WILL DO AS THEY ARE FRUITS!!' SO THE ANT JUMPED INTO THE AIR AND LANDED ON THE FRUITS BECAUSE HE WAS AN ANT AND ANTS CAN DO THAT ONCE HE WAS ON THE FRUITS HE TESTED THEM FOR FRESHNESS HE DID THIS BY ASKING THE LEAFS HOW LONG THE FRUITS HAD BEEN THERE THE FRUITS HAD BEEN THERE THE CORRECT AMOUNTED OF THIME FOR THEM TO BE FRESH!! SO HE THEN NIBBLED THE FRUITS STALKS AND FELL TO THE FLAW WITH THE FRUITS AND CARRIED THEM BACK TO THE MAGICS

THE ANT ARRIVED BACK AT THE MAGICS AND THE MAGICS WAS PLEASED WITH THE FRUITS SO PLEASED THAT HE INFACT BOUGHT THE ANTS A NEW PAIR OF ROLLER BLAIDS!!!! NOW THAT THE ANT HAD ROLLERBLAIEDS HE COULD TRAVEL ANYWHERE AT VERY FAST SPEEDS BUT BECAUSE HE LIVED IN THE FOREST ROLLERBLARIDS DONT WORK VERY WELL SO HE STILL AHD TO WALK SAD FACE THE MAGICS GAVE THE ANTSES A VIAL AND TOLD HIM TO GOTO THE POOL OF EVER LASTING WATER SO THAT HE COULD GET A SAMPLE FOR THE POTIONS! THE AND SKIPPED ON HIS MARRY WAY

ONCE THE ANT ARRIVED AT THE POOL OF EVERLASTIGN WATER HE THOUGHT HE WOULD TRY DRINKNIG ALL THE WATER AFTER 3 MINUTES OF SLURPING THE WATER THE ANT REALISED HE WAS AN IDIOT AND THE WATER DOSNT RUN OUT HE HAD A LAUGH WITH HIMSELF AND THEN FUILLED UP THE VIAL NOW THAT THE VIAL IS FULL OF THE EVERLASTING WATER THAT WILL NOT RUN OUT HE WENT BACK TO THE MAGICS!!!!!!!

THE MAGICS WAS VERY IMPRESSED WITH THE ANTS SKILSL SO FAR SO HE GAVE THE AND A NEW YORK YANKEES BASEBALL CAP THE ANT WAS GREATFUL, BUT HE KNEW THIS WAS A TRAP FOR THE ANTS LAST TASK WAS TO MAKE THE BOSTON RED SOX WIN THE WORLD SERIES THE ANT THEN HOPPED ON A PLANE TO THE NEWEST BOSTONS AND WHILE HE WAS THERE HE DECIDED TO BUY A PIZZA BECAUSE HE WAS HUGNRY ONCE HE ATE THE PIZZA HE CONTINUES TO THE BOSTON RED SOX HOUSE THE ANT KNOCKED ON THE DOOR AND TOLD THE RED SOX HIS PROBLEMS THEY TOOK HIM INSIDE AND THEY HAD A CONVERSATION ABOUT THE WORLD ITS PROBLEMS THE ANT AND HIS FRIEND THE MAGICS BUT THE BOSTON RED SOX TOLD HIM THEY CANNOT WIN THE WORLD SERIES FOR HIM THIS SEASONS AS THEY HAD TO SAVE POLAND AND FREE THEIR PEOPLES FROM THE NAZI SCUM THE ANT DECIDED FINE RED SOX IF U CANNOT WIN THE WORLD SERIES I SHALL DO IT FOR YOU THE ANT THEN LEARNED TO DO THE BASEBALLS BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE EVER!!! EXCEPT MAYBE BABE RUTH THE ANT WAS SO GOOD AT BASEBALL HE ALMOST FORGOT ABOU HIS QUEST TO WIN THE WORLD SERIES TO HELP THE MAGICS WITH HIS POTIONS BUT NO THE ANT WON THE WORLD SERIES AND HELPED THE MAGICS COMPLETE HIS POTION


THE MAGICS DRANK THE POTION BUT NOT BEFROE GRANTING THE ANT THE POWERS HE PROMED HIM!! THE ANT COULD NOW BAKE AL THE TINY BREADS HE WANTED FOR THE OTHER ANTS BECAUSE ANTS LOVE THE BREADS BIG OR SMALL!! THE MAGICS DRANK THE POTION AND TURNED INTO A GINGER NUT THE ANT TOOK HIM BACK TO HIS ANT HILL GROUDN HIM UP AND BAKED HIM INTO ONE OF HIS DELCIIOUS TINY BREADS ALL THE ANTS REJOYCED THEY WERE LIKE ANTINGTONS BREAD MAKER SUPER PRO!!! HOW DO YOU MAKE YOUR DELICIOUSES BREADS?! THE ANT REPLIED
WITH HELP OF GINGER MAGIC AND THE ANTS HAD A BREAD PARTY AND CARRIED ON DOGGING BEHIND TREES

THE END

Once upon the times there was an ant who lived in an ant hill with other ants. One day he went outside of the ant hill because it was a warm day and the ant wanted to go outside to cool down. On his travels outside to do his coolings he ran into one of the magics!! The magics told him that if he was a good and and helped the magics. The magics would grant him the power of making bread for the other ants to eat, ants love bread, so he agreed. The magics told the ant that he needed 3 ingredients for a potion to save his peoples. He needed fresh fruits from the forest near the and hills ant home, he needed a vial of water from the pool of everlasting water, and he needed the Boston Red Sox to win the world serieses!!! The ant believed he could accomplish all these tasks with the very easynesses, so he agreed and headed into the forest

While the ant was in the forest he met some of his ant friends there who were playing a game known as 'dogging behind a tree' The ant was very intrigued by the doggings but his mission was clear, to find the freshest fruits of these lands and deliver them to the magics!! with haste!!!!!!!! the antington then headed deeper into the forest and saw trees as tall as other trees while he was looking at the trees he saw fruits in them. The ant thought to himself “Hey I need fruits from this forest, those fruits will do as they are fruits!!”
So the ant jumped into the air and landed on the fruits, because he was an ant, and ants can do that. Once he was on the fruits he tested them for freshness. He did this by asking the leafs how long the fruits had been there. The fruits had been there the correct amounted of time for them to be fresh!! So he then nibbled the fruits stalks, and fell to the floor with the fruits, and carried them back to the magics

The ant arrived back at the magics and the magics was pleased with the fruits, so pleased that he in fact bought the ants a new pair of roller blaids!!!! Now that the ant had rollerblaids he could travel anywhere at the very fast speeds, but because he lived in the forest rollerblaids don't work very well, so he still had to walk. Sad face. The magics gave the antses a vial and told him to goto the pool of ever lasting water so that he could get a sample for the potions! The ant skipped on his marry way.

Once the ant arrived at the pool of everlasting water, he thought he would try drinking all the water to see if it really was as everlasting as the magics had told him it was to be! After 3 minutes of slurping the water the ant realized, he was an idiot and the water doesn’t run out. he had a laugh with himself and then filled up the vial. Now that the vial is full of the everlasting water that will not run out he went back to the magics!!!!!!!

The magics was very impressed with the ants skills so far, so he gave the and a new york yankees baseball cap. The ant was grateful, but he knew this was a trap as for the ants last task was to make the Boston Red Sox win the world series!! The ant then hopped on a plane to the newest Bostons and while he was there he decided to buy a pizza because he was hungry. Once he ate the pizza he continued to the Boston Red Sox house! The ant knocked on the door and told the Red Sox his problems. They took him inside and they had a conversation about the world, its problems, the ant, and his friend the magics, but the Boston Red Sox told him they cannot win the world series for him this seasons, as they had to save Poland, and free their peoples from the Nazi scum. The ant decided fine Red Sox, if you cannot win the world series, I shall do it for you!! The ant then learned to do the baseballs better than anybody else ever!!! Except maybe Babe Ruth. The ant was so good at baseball he almost forgot about his quest to win the world series to help the magics with his potions, but no, the ant won the world series and helped the magics complete his potion!

The magics drank the potion but not before granting the ant the powers he promed him!! The ant could now bake all the tiny breads he wanted for the other ants because ants love the breads, big or small!! The magics drank the potion and turned into a ginger nut. The ant took him back to his ant hill, ground him up, and baked him into one of his delicious tiny breads! All the ants rejoiced they were like
“Antingtons bread maker super pro!!! How do you make your deliciouses breads?!”
The ant replied, “With help of ginger magic!”
And the ants had a bread party, and carried on dogging behind trees

The End

**
Head admin of the CSL:EU and League Manager for Karnage-eSports - Joeeigel.561
GenesisX
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada4267 Posts
July 19 2011 04:11 GMT
#2
what
133 221 333 123 111
Probulous
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Australia3894 Posts
July 19 2011 04:16 GMT
#3
sssh don't you know....

CAPITAL LETTERS ARE KILLING ESPORTS!!!
"Dude has some really interesting midgame switches that I wouldn't have expected. "I violated your house" into "HIHO THE DAIRY OH!" really threw me. You don't usually expect children's poetry harass as a follow up " - AmericanUmlaut
Joeeigel
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United Kingdom328 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-19 04:20:15
July 19 2011 04:19 GMT
#4
The capital letters and extremely poor spelling added to the humour, in my opinion at least, however there is a slightly fixed version in the spoiler, with caps removed and a few unintentional typos fixed.

EDIT: Swapped the caps and lower-case stories around, caps is now in spoilers
Head admin of the CSL:EU and League Manager for Karnage-eSports - Joeeigel.561
Ghin
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
United States2391 Posts
July 19 2011 04:31 GMT
#5
I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but people who are fans of the Boston Red Sox are completely and totally insane. They will murder you and your family for even suggesting for suggesting they do magic and faggy etaded (people from boston cannot pronounce the letter R) shit like that.
Legalize drugs and murder.
Joeeigel
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United Kingdom328 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-07-19 04:43:43
July 19 2011 04:34 GMT
#6
On July 19 2011 13:31 Ghin wrote:
I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but people who are fans of the Boston Red Sox are completely and totally insane. They will murder you and your family for even suggesting for suggesting they do magic and faggy etaded (people from boston cannot pronounce the letter R) shit like that.


I'm not suggesting they partake in magic, I was simply suggesting they freed the Polish people from Nazi oppression instead of winning the world series.

+ Show Spoiler +
I know the Red Sox never did this, but in this story they still ended up winning the world series, so is it really so bad?
Head admin of the CSL:EU and League Manager for Karnage-eSports - Joeeigel.561
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