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[BW Blog] The most hilarious game I've played

Blogs > don_kyuhote
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don_kyuhote
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
3006 Posts
June 29 2011 17:09 GMT
#1
Allright. This is a game between 2 ICCUP D players, so don’t expect anything pro.
Here it is. It is very pic intensive and very long. Don’t read it if you don’t have time.


+ Show Spoiler +

So the battle between 2 titans of D world in ICCUP occurred on the good old map of Fighting Spirit with me, Voodooscience, brown Terran spawning on top left.
[image loading]
and my opponent, durwjsemfkak, blue Zerg spawning on bottom left
[image loading]

Mind that I am not a very good BW player, let alone a macro player. Although I don’t cheese every game, I had no intention of having a long game in this particular instance.
[image loading]
that’s right bitch! I’m proxy raxing! Whatchu gonna do?!!

My opponent meanwhile opts to 12 hatch.
[image loading]
Excellent!

The Doolittle Raid

Time for the glorious bunker rush have arrived. With 3 marines and 3 scvs for support, I throw down a bunker at his natural.
[image loading]
My opponent, clearly bewildered by my cheese, pulls all but 1 drone to fend off this attack. [image loading]
Then, my opponent makes the mistake of the game, by canceling his hatch prematurely at his natural
[image loading]
Me, however, being a typical noob, just A-moves into his drone army. And the result is painful. [image loading]
let the dogfight begin!
[image loading]
um….lol?...is he….kwanro?
[image loading]
oh…shit…

Army Size
Zerg: 13 drones
Terran: 3 scv, 3 marines

Casualty
Zerg: 1 drone
Terran: entire army

Outcome
This was a big blow to me, although not as much in retrospect. Although trading 1 drone for 3 scv and 3 marines is shameful, I did accomplish my main goal: to destroy/delay his natural hatch.


Still, I was bummed. I wanted to end this game quick, but now I have to brace for a longer game. Or do I? Apparantly not, because my opponent decides to go a step further to prove that he is Kwanro.
[image loading]
looks like someone was impressed with kwanro vs really game

This move completely blindsided me and threw me into a state of panic. I mean, I'm playing against fucking kwanro, I just got asswhopped by his drone micro, and now he is coming for my throat! I hastily throw down a bunker and additional rax at my main.
[image loading]

yet to make things worse, zerglings now join the scene.
[image loading]

I realized that what I thought was going to be a quick win, may as well turn out to be a quick loss!

The Battle of Helms Deep

It’s quite simple. This is an all-in. The first thing I need to do is, of course, defend it. I valiantly try to match his micro kill with my scvs.
[image loading]

All I have to do is buy time for bunker to finish, then put 1 marine inside. But can I do it? [image loading]
stay safe Frodo….the fate of Terran lies on your shoulders

Yes I can. I successfully put the only marine I have inside my bunker which soon becomes the focus target of the zerg minions.
[image loading]
zomg...40 hp...

The time has come. The time that will decide the winner and the loser, and in the end, the drones’ saliva was not acidic enough, and the claws of zerglings weren’t sharp enough, for I successfully defend the bunker and hold off his all in attack!
[image loading]
the dejected minions of Char retreats to base. GTFO!

Army Size
Zerg: 11 drones, 8 zerglings
Terran 13 scvs, 1 marine

Casualty
Zerg: 7 drones, 4 zerglings
Terran: 8 scvs

Outcome
Huge win for me, both materially and psychologically. I know his economy will now be in shambles and this game is mine to lose. On the other hand, pure doom and gloom for Zerg who now has to restart from scratch. He had been mining with ONE drone ever since my initial bunker rush.


Having suffered a terrible blow, my opponent tries to comeback into the game by sniping off my scvs with now speed upgraded lings, but my simcity is just too damn good.
[image loading]
you ain’t gonna get no nothing from here bitch!

With his lings attack not being fruitful, my opponents becomes desperate for something, and decides to 1 base tech to lair
[image loading]
whoa!!???

Meanwhile, I decide to poke at his base with a group of marines that Ive been producing at my proxy rax.
[image loading]

With lings and pulled drones, he manages to fend off this attack, but not before losing some drones, hampering his effort to rebuild his economy.
[image loading]

My poor opponent, clearly feeling nervous, then loses touch with reality and time and throws down a spire with 1 base and less than 10 drones
[image loading]
LOL

Except the problem was, I was feeling nervous too. I kept thinking he had a hidden expansion somewhere since he didn't have a natural expansion and it was only matter of time before he starts macroing like crazy. Soon enough I said to myself “fuck that, I’m not gonna let that happen” So what did I do? This.
[image loading]

The Battle of Stalingrad

With this many scvs, I thought I would easily be able to take care of business in his main base. While marching south, my opponent sends his ling army to my proxy rax location
[image loading]
took you long enough huh?

Taking advantage of his zerglings’ absence, I march into his main base uncontested
[image loading]
little did I know what I was walking into…

once again, being a noob, I just A-moved into his mineral lines, which separated the scvs form the marines…Bad move.
[image loading]
Isolated marines got instakilled by drones and zerglings that returned from afar and once the marines were gone, the scvs were just walking meat.
[image loading]
not one made it out alive….

Army Size
Zerg: 6 drones, 6 zerglings
Terran: 8 scvs, 4 marines

Casualty
Zerg: 2 zerglins
Terran: entire army.

Outcome
Simply un-fucking-belivable. I am the worst attacker ever. At this point, I felt like I was way behind and started to panic. After all, he still has a hidden expansion right? Or so I thought. But in reality, this wasn’t THAT bad. I forced him to turn one of his drone to creep colony and made him spend 3 larvas and 150 mineral into zerglings which leaves his already wobbly economy quite helpless.

I on the other hand, have been quietly saturating my mineral lines once again AND pumping marines at the same time. kekeke
[image loading]

And because the bulk of my attack force was scvs, my marines count have been slowly but surely growing into a force to be reckoned with. When I had about 12 marines, I decided to move out.
[image loading]
yeah you best be scared bitch!

Sensing a great incoming threat, my opponent tried to divert my attention with his 2 muta, but to no avail. I marched on South.
[image loading]

Even more unfortunate for my opponent was the fact that the overlord that he used for micro-ing his mutas was caught by my marines, leaving him supply blocked!
[image loading]
Gotcha!

my opponent was poorer than I thought. Squeezing out those mutas from 1 hatch left no room for zerglings, and as a result, I marched in to his base without any resistance from him. Upon arriving, I threw down a bunker deep inside his territory, and this time, I had too many marines for him to dare fighting with drones.
[image loading]
where is your drone micro now? Tee hee

From there, it didn’t take long for my opponent to accept defeat.
[image loading]
the rematch never happened lol

Lol, I don’t think I have ever won a game when I made mistakes this badly. My army control was atrocious and pure A-moving. Nonetheless, I am a believer that a game between 2 equally bad players can be just as entertaining as game between 2 pros and this is why. It was a pretty hectic game and I never knew what my opponent should have which kept led me to think that he had hidden expansion when I saw that he didn’t take his natural. But after watching the replay, I guess I did enough economic damage throughout the game and it just snowballed from there. Of course that 1 marine inside the bunker saved me the game. Anyway, fun game! Thanks for reading!


****
For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?
Darclite
Profile Joined January 2011
United States1021 Posts
June 29 2011 17:18 GMT
#2
lol I don't even play much Brood War and found that awesome.

Side 1 has a huge advantage!...and gets crushed. Now Side 2 has it...and gets crushed lol
They're fools. You should eat them.
Blazinghand *
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States25550 Posts
June 29 2011 17:24 GMT
#3
I can't tell if this is supposed to be a tragedy or a comedy... 5 stars for a well written battle report either way. I like how both of you were on one base at the end... sounds like it was an epic game.
When you stare into the iCCup, the iCCup stares back.
TL+ Member
Archas
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6531 Posts
June 29 2011 17:27 GMT
#4
That was like the most imbalanced game ever, in the sense that massive leads were gained and lost multiple times on both sides. A huge seesaw of a match, and a lot of fun to read.
The room is ripe with the stench of bitches!
MattRz
Profile Joined April 2011
Chile1680 Posts
June 29 2011 17:33 GMT
#5
So funny 5 stars !
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake ♞
chomsky
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Canada97 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-29 17:34:16
June 29 2011 17:34 GMT
#6
That was spectacular the way both of you were getting afraid of nothing and going all-in off of workers alone. A game that has half a dozen all-in plays before it actually finishes is definitely one worth doing a battle report on! Also, Blizzard actually released an expansion pack for Starcraft, so now you can get new units that will heal your marines when fighting!

edit: 5 stars
"Not to take this post too seriously, but..." -Chef
NibbloniaN
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
United States377 Posts
June 29 2011 17:44 GMT
#7
haha, loved it! Great read. The battle of helms deep...haha, awesome
My folks were always on me to groom myself and wear underpants. What am I, the pope?
tenacity
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
1587 Posts
June 29 2011 17:47 GMT
#8
Hehe, great blog post!
It does not need to be fun to be fun.
Caladbolg
Profile Joined March 2011
2855 Posts
June 29 2011 17:48 GMT
#9
Sounds like Calm vs Fantasy on ICCUP!
"I don't like the word prodigy at all. To me prodigy sounds like a person who was 'gifted' all these things rather than a person who earned all these talents by hard training... I must train harder to reach my goal." - Flash
Sprungjeezy
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States1313 Posts
June 29 2011 17:57 GMT
#10
Oh my god. That was awesome, and more so because of the screenshots of the Drone and SCV lines going back and forth.
LuMiX
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
China5757 Posts
June 29 2011 18:10 GMT
#11
funny game, great post.
101toss
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
3232 Posts
June 29 2011 18:12 GMT
#12
5/5
Math doesn't kill champions and neither do wards
]343[
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States10328 Posts
June 29 2011 18:20 GMT
#13
haha cute, and a nice writeup
Writer
PassiveAce
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States18076 Posts
June 29 2011 18:21 GMT
#14
gg wp and very funny 5/5
Call me Marge Simpson cuz I love you homie
emperorchampion
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
Canada9496 Posts
June 29 2011 18:24 GMT
#15
Hahahaha
TRUEESPORTS || your days as a respected member of team liquid are over
L_Master
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States8017 Posts
June 29 2011 18:39 GMT
#16
Ahaha that was awesome, thanks so much for sharing!
EffOrt and Soulkey Hwaiting!
lungo
Profile Joined October 2005
Denmark276 Posts
June 29 2011 18:41 GMT
#17
great read! and great game :D
as Arnold said: you have been erased! but dont worry!
bITt.mAN
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Switzerland3693 Posts
June 29 2011 18:42 GMT
#18
:}{ this is why we still play Brood War even though it may be old,because it's just so much damm fun (:
BW4LYF . . . . . . PM me, I LOVE PMs. . . . . . Long live "NaDa's Body" . . . . . . Fantasy | Bisu/Best | Jaedong . . . . .
Boblion
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
France8043 Posts
June 29 2011 19:10 GMT
#19
Nothing can beat ultra low eco bw games :D
fuck all those elitists brb watching streams of elite players.
SigmaoctanusIV
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States3313 Posts
June 29 2011 19:10 GMT
#20
Awesome game, After playing so much SC2 really makes me miss the old BW days. Drones were so good lol, Also Marines weren't Nearly as good as they are now lol.

Thanks for posting and the long write up super good 5/5
I am Godzilla You are Japan
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