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Active: 13855 users

Wholesome Forms of Self-Punishment

Blogs > Gummy
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
Gummy
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United States2180 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-06-24 07:52:27
June 24 2011 06:09 GMT
#1
So today I was an asshole in many more ways than one. I don't like being an asshole if I can help it, but sometimes my vacuous personality and butt-like physique conspire to make me a particularly stinky one.

I realize that there's not a whole lot I can do to unassify the situations I've caused, and the metaphorical stench I've left on many of the good people around me cannot be so easily washed off by an apology.

So thus, I need a way to punish myself when these things happen (And they do tend to happen). Not for them, since I won't be streaming any self mutilation. Not for me, because I'm no masochist. But for the grand balance of goodness in the universe that must be maintained, no sin except for masturbation and consumption of porn shall go unpunished.

I am looking for any and all good suggestions for forms of self-punishment that would not result in permanent/debilitating injury to my body, mind, or reputation!

Good suggestion might be: "Don't eat meat for two weeks."

Bad suggestion might be: "Jump off a building and die."

Good suggestion might be: "Don't make posts on teamliquid for two weeks and think over what you've done."

Bad suggestion might be: "Tie up your sister, cut off your penis, and feed it to her."

Thanks, and I appreciate all your input.



All right, so here's my to-do list:

- Queued
- Won't do
- Done

On June 24 2011 16:03 Torte de Lini wrote:
Consistently flirt with every female at the bar with explicit and sexist lines.
Have pack of ice ready to go.


When I'm 21 or can find a fake!

On June 24 2011 15:18 Kamille wrote:
Oh Em Gee, it's Gummy! <3

On a related note, your punishment should be no trolling!


I promise to never troll again ever.


On June 24 2011 15:27 Spica wrote:
Here.


Nyan-nyan-nyan-nyan 2139 seconds and counting!

On June 24 2011 15:37 Kamais_Ookin wrote:
Make up some random bs and get a blood test every time you need punishment. Eventually you either stop being an asshole and never need punishment again or you will be out of luck and run out of juice.


Vasovagal reaction. Might actually die from this.

On June 24 2011 15:37 Brees wrote:
wear a sweater for the next week at all times except showering


Pulling out my sweaters and putting them in a stack

On June 24 2011 15:42 SonuvBob wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 24 2011 15:37 Brees wrote:
wear a sweater cut-off jeans for the next week at all times except showering

There are dozens of us! Dozens!

Gonna the last few episodes of arrested development with the horrible pain of knowing that the show was not picked up for a 4th season.

On June 24 2011 15:25 SonuvBob wrote:
Watch Hot_Bid's entire Portal run.

Sounds like fun


On June 24 2011 15:45 Probulous wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 24 2011 15:42 SonuvBob wrote:
On June 24 2011 15:37 Brees wrote:
wear a sweater cut-off jeans for the next week at all times except showering

There are dozens of us! Dozens!


You're enjoying this, aren't you?

Ok, how about for one week say yes to everything...

and I mean everything

Given how often women of questionable reputation ask me for rough passionate sex, I'd have to turn this down in hopes of curbing the spread of STDs and overpopulation.

On June 24 2011 16:07 Pangpootata wrote:
Throw games on ladder/iccup.

Watch every single canata replay.


If you can see my mod history like Sonuvbob can, you might find this as funny as I do.


On June 24 2011 15:24 SonuvBob wrote:
Wrap yourself in barbed wire like the Opus Dei guys in The Da Vinci Code, but wrap yourself in pillows first.

Cut yourself.. a delicious piece of cake. But then don't eat it. Give it to your sister (unless it contains penis).


Finding barbed wire, and convincing parents to adopt a girl.


On June 24 2011 16:13 Torte de Lini wrote:
Go to the premiere of every move and exaggerate all emotions the films try to portray.
I suggest a good Michael Bay movie. When Optimus Prime take a hit, scream: "Oh no!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8lDb3EoyWGc


When you see a female's ass being objectified on the big screen, proceed to whistle wildly and flutter:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lVN1Apz45AE


When the heros finally win! Cheer loud and ensure to cry heavily in joy and pure appreciation that your world is safe :3

Midnight premiere of Harry Potter, here I come!

On June 24 2011 16:09 SonuvBob wrote:
Watch all of Boxer's losses.

This would be infinitely worse than suicide

On June 24 2011 16:34 BLinD-RawR wrote:
Watch GGplay vs Stork 14 times.In slow motion on VLC player.

This was one of the greatest, if not the greatest, game of brood war ever played. I am a bit offended that you think this might be punishment.

On June 24 2011 16:41 jaylaclasse wrote:
Watch This until it makes you cry.

It only took once. That was beautiful T_T

***
¯\_(ツ)_/¯ There are three kinds of people in the world: those who can count and those who can't.
Probulous
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Australia3894 Posts
June 24 2011 06:13 GMT
#2
Read your blog....

+ Show Spoiler +
Just kidding!
"Dude has some really interesting midgame switches that I wouldn't have expected. "I violated your house" into "HIHO THE DAIRY OH!" really threw me. You don't usually expect children's poetry harass as a follow up " - AmericanUmlaut
Eviltoast
Profile Joined January 2011
Australia166 Posts
June 24 2011 06:15 GMT
#3
No starcraft for a week good luck
it's copacetic... ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
SonuvBob
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Aiur21549 Posts
June 24 2011 06:18 GMT
#4
Jump off a building, but don't die.

Feed your sister a delicious meal containing 0% penis (more difficult than you'd think imo).
Administrator
Kamille
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Monaco1035 Posts
June 24 2011 06:18 GMT
#5
Oh Em Gee, it's Gummy! <3

On a related note, your punishment should be no trolling!
Priphea
Roe
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada6002 Posts
June 24 2011 06:21 GMT
#6
On June 24 2011 15:18 SonuvBob wrote:

Feed your sister a delicious meal containing 0% penis (more difficult than you'd think imo).

what the....heck!
Dare I imagine what you mean...
SonuvBob
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Aiur21549 Posts
June 24 2011 06:24 GMT
#7
Wrap yourself in barbed wire like the Opus Dei guys in The Da Vinci Code, but wrap yourself in pillows first.

Cut yourself.. a delicious piece of cake. But then don't eat it. Give it to your sister (unless it contains penis).
Administrator
SonuvBob
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Aiur21549 Posts
June 24 2011 06:25 GMT
#8
Watch Hot_Bid's entire Portal run.
Administrator
Spica
Profile Joined December 2010
United States5582 Posts
June 24 2011 06:27 GMT
#9
Here.
How to pronounce the name: "SPY-ka" | Proud to share the same birthday with Shin (神) Dong Won and the almighty BoxeR | 리쌍도 나무에서 떨어진다. | To YellOw: "2位じゃダメなんですか?" ㅋㅋㅋ | Rest in peace, Violet. 08/23/12
echO [W]
Profile Joined July 2010
United States1495 Posts
June 24 2011 06:29 GMT
#10
Play Zerg.

"Or a school bus over a bunch of kids" - Tasteless --- “A man's errors are his portals of discovery.” - James Joyce
babylon
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
8765 Posts
June 24 2011 06:34 GMT
#11
On June 24 2011 15:27 Spica wrote:
Here.

I ... what is that?
lee365
Profile Joined December 2010
United States448 Posts
June 24 2011 06:35 GMT
#12
3000 games of marine arena using only your mousepad
Terran Fighting! NoSoupfOu.517
Kamais_Ookin
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Canada4218 Posts
June 24 2011 06:37 GMT
#13
Make up some random bs and get a blood test every time you need punishment. Eventually you either stop being an asshole and never need punishment again or you will be out of luck and run out of juice.
I <3 Plexa.
Brees
Profile Joined January 2010
Marshall Islands3404 Posts
June 24 2011 06:37 GMT
#14
wear a sweater for the next week at all times except showering
Brees on in
GERMasta
Profile Joined October 2010
Germany212 Posts
June 24 2011 06:39 GMT
#15
So thus, I need a way to punish myself when these things happen (And they do tend to happen). Not for them, since I won't be streaming any self mutilation. Not for me, because I'm no masochist. But for the grand balance of goodness in the universe that must be maintained
I'm not sure if you're serious (and you're probably not), but that is a very strange worldview to adopt. The act of punishing people itself does nothing to increase the amount of goodness in the world, but is either done out of duty (as a recompense), for the sake of deterrence or as a means of rehabilitation (think therapy in prison) - neither of which fits your case, since you already know that you have done wrong.

How about instead of punishing yourself, you make a plea not to be an asshole and work on your willpower and self-discipline, since, if you're perfectly aware what you are supposed to do, your moral failings must be the cause of a weak will (or incomplete knowledge).
SonuvBob
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Aiur21549 Posts
June 24 2011 06:42 GMT
#16
On June 24 2011 15:37 Brees wrote:
wear a sweater cut-off jeans for the next week at all times except showering

There are dozens of us! Dozens!
Administrator
Z3kk
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
4099 Posts
June 24 2011 06:43 GMT
#17
Whip yourself...with a silk scarf.
Failure is not falling down over and over again. Failure is refusing to get back up.
Probulous
Profile Blog Joined March 2011
Australia3894 Posts
June 24 2011 06:45 GMT
#18
On June 24 2011 15:42 SonuvBob wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 24 2011 15:37 Brees wrote:
wear a sweater cut-off jeans for the next week at all times except showering

There are dozens of us! Dozens!


You're enjoying this, aren't you?

Ok, how about for one week say yes to everything...

and I mean everything
"Dude has some really interesting midgame switches that I wouldn't have expected. "I violated your house" into "HIHO THE DAIRY OH!" really threw me. You don't usually expect children's poetry harass as a follow up " - AmericanUmlaut
FractalsOnFire
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
Australia1756 Posts
June 24 2011 06:48 GMT
#19
On June 24 2011 15:34 babylon wrote:
Show nested quote +
On June 24 2011 15:27 Spica wrote:
Here.

I ... what is that?


YESSS NON STOP NYAN CAT!!!

Also play Nyanicorn
Whole
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States6046 Posts
June 24 2011 07:02 GMT
#20
participate in the Pain Olympics...no suicide or penis feeding involved!
1 2 Next All
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