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United States12125 Posts
You might know me from my Hangul lessons series, or my getting to Korea progress blogs.
Right now, it's just a bit about me and my life.
This is kind of a girl blog, just a warning.
So tomorrow I'm going to ask a girl out.
It's this girl I've liked since middle school, but never did anything about it.
She's the girl I've ALWAYS had a crush on, and as she grew up in high school, got more attention from everyone else. She's a cheerleader, popular, and pretty. And when I say pretty, of course I mean gorgeous. I'm geeky, chill, (sometimes) funny, and obviously an underdog in this situation.
To sum up:
Middle school:
SHE was cute, funny, always smiling, and radiant
I was short, dorky, and hadn't gone through puberty yet
High School
SHE was gorgeous, smart, and popular
I was still dorky, actually gone through puberty but still scrawny, and a band geek/computer nerd
Now we're both in college, and single.
Sometimes she'll text me, sometimes I'll text her, sometimes its a short conversation, sometimes it's a long one. I haven't actually talked to her for a couple of weeks, so asking her out might be awkward, but I don't really care. I've always considered myself in the definitive friend zone, as in never getting out, but as I haven't heard from her for a while, I figure our friendship is in jeopardy. Now some would hesitate in asking her out because they would not want to risk ruining their friendship, or know that she would also feel the same, but we're not at that point. Now, never before have I expressed the way I feel about her except once in high school when I told her I had a huge crush on her in middle school. But that was a couple years ago.
It's into now, and for some reason I feel an odd pressure, like it's zero hour. It's the GSL finals or something.
It's the make or break, take it or leave it.
I'm going to call her and ask her out to dinner. I'm hoping the phone conversation goes something like this:
Me: Hey, now that you're done with finals, do you wanna grab dinner with me tonight, maybe 7? I'll pick you up. (Yeah, I know where she lives, I took her to school a couple times over summer to visit some teachers)
Her: Sure! I want sushi!
OR
Her: I can't tonight, I have plans with my family/friends. How about sometime later?
If it doesn't go either of those two ways, I'll go about my business, with 1 less regret.
(Results will be posted, but no live report, sorry.)
You'll notice that I'm not asking you all how I should ask her out or if. I'm not sure if that makes me arrogant, or pretentious, and I'm not sure why I'm writing this out, but I suppose it's making me feel a little better, considering the odds are stacked against me. Wish me luck?
+ Show Spoiler [Results] +Well. I did it. The phone conversation went kind of like this: (I had it all planned out in my head, but when she picked up, that went to shit) She picks up: Hello? Hey, what's up? Heyyyyyy, what're you up to? I'll skip the boring parts. I asked her about her finals, she asked what I was doing tonight, I said that I wasn't too sure. Then I said, wanna get dinner tonight? No awkward pauses or hesitation. "Sure! Are you craving anything?" Essentially.  mizU < Date w/Girl Map>  All the other noobsCHYEAHHHH Now all I gotta do is ask her where she wants to go, and set the time. It's on tonight, babyyyy.
 
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Good luck, sounds like a high chance of denial to me, but go for it! Life's about experiences
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I would personally think not having talked to her is a better position to be in before asking her out. It leaves her somewhat free to consider the offer without any specific memory of you being a friend, I suppose.
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Just go for it, if you don't try you'll never get her (or anyone). Looking forward to the results!
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Despite the fact that we'd all like to have a LR, only results are fine too. But don't forget to put them in spoiler tags  and thanks for hangul lessons.
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LOL.
HOLY SHIT. I'm in almost exactly the same fucking situation as you. Like literally, TOMMOROW, this is going down.
Good luck man, hopefully we can all come back here with some good news.
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Good luck sir. One thing to add: when you ask her out to dinner make sure she knows it's a date and not two friends grabbing some food.
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Dude, if you have the guts to admit that you are a geek, but you're still going to ask a girl out, I consider you a better guy than I'll ever be. GLHF bro :D
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I think the way you ask things makes it sound like you ask confidence. There can be a difference between saying "Want to grab dinner tonight?" and "Let's grab dinner tonight." Notice that while both can be rejected if she really wants to, but the second is more assertive but not too aggressive like "We're having dinner tonight." Things like this can make a big difference in how you portray yourself.
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I was friends with my wife before we started dating, so it can work out super well. Treat her as nice as you can. She probably already knows if she wants to date you or not, (based on your friendship) so don't stress to much about how you ask her out. Anyway, good luck and have fun.
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On May 13 2011 23:59 -Frog- wrote:
Good luck sir. One thing to add: when you ask her out to dinner make sure she knows it's a date and not two friends grabbing some food.
I did this once. It didn't work out so well.
+ Show Spoiler +Me: Hey you free after work? Wanna grab dinner, at, oh shake shack? Her: Oh .... uh ... okay? I guess.... Me: Ah, I just want to make this clear, I am asking you out on a date. Her: OHHHHH...!! .... NOOOOOOOO!!! + Show Spoiler +Oh god, I still cringe and die a little inside whenever I remember that
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About time you went for it, even though things are looking grim, at least now you will know, and can move on to something else if things don't work out. Best of luck.
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Life's simple, you make choices and you don't look back.
glgl
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On May 14 2011 00:15 happyft wrote:Show nested quote +On May 13 2011 23:59 -Frog- wrote:
Good luck sir. One thing to add: when you ask her out to dinner make sure she knows it's a date and not two friends grabbing some food. I did this once. It didn't work out so well. + Show Spoiler +Me: Hey you free after work? Wanna grab dinner, at, oh shake shack? Her: Oh .... uh ... okay? I guess.... Me: Ah, I just want to make this clear, I am asking you out on a date. Her: OHHHHH...!! .... NOOOOOOOO!!! + Show Spoiler +Oh god, I still cringe and die a little inside whenever I remember that
Sounds bad, but at least you didn't go on a play date. Props to you for not wasting time/money.
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Calgary25951 Posts
On May 13 2011 23:59 -Frog- wrote:
Good luck sir. One thing to add: when you ask her out to dinner make sure she knows it's a date and not two friends grabbing some food.
I just deleted my big post because it was dumb. Anyways, 9 times out of 10, the direct method works better. However, if there's a little tension you don't have to be direct though, you can build tension as if you're on a date and then just make a move.
With both methods, you need to be self-aware. If you have zero chance, don't try either method. I've never seen a friends zone, but I've seen a "I obviously only like you as a friend and you can't see that" zone.
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On May 14 2011 00:15 happyft wrote:Show nested quote +On May 13 2011 23:59 -Frog- wrote:
Good luck sir. One thing to add: when you ask her out to dinner make sure she knows it's a date and not two friends grabbing some food. I did this once. It didn't work out so well. + Show Spoiler +Me: Hey you free after work? Wanna grab dinner, at, oh shake shack? Her: Oh .... uh ... okay? I guess.... Me: Ah, I just want to make this clear, I am asking you out on a date. Her: OHHHHH...!! .... NOOOOOOOO!!! + Show Spoiler +Oh god, I still cringe and die a little inside whenever I remember that
Ah of course that is the risk but my point was it's better than going on a date and finding out when you get to the restaurant that she brought her friend along because she didn't understand your intentions.
Chill: also true. But it's kind of like opening up pool first and getting your natural pylon + cyber core blocked when the protoss opened up nexus first: you're just playing from behind.
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On May 14 2011 00:29 Dandy4 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 14 2011 00:15 happyft wrote:On May 13 2011 23:59 -Frog- wrote:
Good luck sir. One thing to add: when you ask her out to dinner make sure she knows it's a date and not two friends grabbing some food. I did this once. It didn't work out so well. + Show Spoiler +Me: Hey you free after work? Wanna grab dinner, at, oh shake shack? Her: Oh .... uh ... okay? I guess.... Me: Ah, I just want to make this clear, I am asking you out on a date. Her: OHHHHH...!! .... NOOOOOOOO!!! + Show Spoiler +Oh god, I still cringe and die a little inside whenever I remember that Sounds bad, but at least you didn't go on a play date. Props to you for not wasting time/money.
In retrospect, it's hilarious as hell and something me and my friends laugh about all the time (while I die a little inside with each telling). Also, I'm really glad she was upfront and clear with the rejection, I got over her in a week flat after crushing on her on and off for quite some time.
Unfortunately for her though, she's the type to really stew on things so she was super awkward around me and our circle of mutual friends for YEARS, lol, which sucked, but whatever I didn't care since I was over her after that week of grieving and 24/7 counter-strike/dota therapy.
But yeah, to the OP, good luck to you bro! I think the asking out a friend is more doable than the internet makes it out to be. I'm glad you're going for it, it's better to live without regrets! You've got nothing to lose, and everything to gain. (opposite gender friendships are overrated in my opinion anyway)
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I got over her in a week flat after crushing on her on and off for quite some time.
Indeed. Guys are idiots. If you don't ask her, the on-off thing will go on forever. Whatever the answer, you'll be able to change your life for the better afterwards. Best of luck.
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On May 13 2011 23:27 Djagulingu wrote:
Despite the fact that we'd all like to have a LR, only results are fine too.
in the pickup community, "LR" = lay report, hahah
it is my personal experience that waiting on a crush is always a bad thing
i don't know anybody who said "well i'm glad i waited this long to ask her out"
it is either "dang i should've done this sooner"
or "she already moved on, i shouldn't have waited"
that said, good luck to OP for not waiting!
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United States12125 Posts
On May 13 2011 23:42 ch33psh33p wrote:
LOL.
HOLY SHIT. I'm in almost exactly the same fucking situation as you. Like literally, TOMMOROW, this is going down.
Good luck man, hopefully we can all come back here with some good news.
That kinda blew my mind.
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EPT
