Time to face the facts.

So you've been climbing up the rungs in your oddly named division and now are almost at the top. 4th place, oh my lord, I'm almost there. Sure it's only the platinum league, but hey, at least you know you are cooler then the 96 people below you, and since the patch you can never really lose right? You are a winner. Two more games, and finally you are in 3rd place. 'Yea top three!' you say to yourself. 'MC aint shit.'

Then some asshole named 'Protoss' playing Terran like a Zerg player comes along and out expands your ass while stopping everything you throw at him. You lose that one convincingly, but that's ok. Lose and learn.

Next game, a player with some ID like 'FurryNuts' gives the traditional 'gl hf' followed by some faces made of punctuation and some friendly banter. 'Hey, this guys seems alright,' you say to yourself as the two of you share some interesting ladder stories from the afternoon. Taking your sweet time you get halfway through typing what happened in 'that sick Infestor game,' when six lings come sprinting in your base. 'Wtf bro,' is followed by a unsuccessful defend and a quick exit and re-search.

Next up is a Protoss who's fast expand is crushed by your early speedlings. You are vastly ahead, but still afraid of zealots, so you hang out in your base and expand a couple times. Up two bases and preparing to take another, you sacrifice your overlord to get a clear scout. His army is tiny, and would be crushed by your mighty mix. 'Lets just get this expansion up and running first,' you declare as your drone makes it's way over. Click, build, hatcher...PING. DISCONNECTED. DENIED!!!!!

'Shiiiiiit.'

Thats ok though, reload the game and you can just log back in. --
+ Show Spoiler +

Ok. Maybe this time it will work. --
+ Show Spoiler +

Close Itunes dummy. Then restart, that's the problem. --
+ Show Spoiler +

'Hey bud nice to see you again.'

Fucking Jim Raynor and his fucking face again. You've seen it a thousand times. It's like he's staring into your soul, laughing inside, though keeping a hard, blank exterior as to say, 'Ya I bet you wish your game worked as it should, but nah. Nah!' What's up with the face Blizzard? What was the reasoning behind having the loading screen be the same giant face everytime? Seriously, that's some Big Brother, room 101 shit. But really, whats with all the faces. After passing through Jimmy's Medusa stare, and finally logging in, what are we welcomed with? Why another giant fucking face of course. --


Above: Giant fucking face.

Let me check my profile, oh wow tons of faces to choose from. --


'I could represent myself accurately if only I had that face beside my ID.'

So If I look at that face for 250 wins I can then look at that face? Is it some sort of psychological master plan set forth by the shamans in the Blizzard tower to get us to see Starcraft characters in our dreams, ultimately leading to future face purchases? Is it working? Have I been reading too many dystopian novels?

Either way I will continue with my ladder disconnects, my log-in woes, and my love/hate relationship with Jim Raynor's nose, with a smile on my face and a chip on my shoulder. Hopefully when 'Starcraft II: Heart of the Swarm' comes out we get a chance to stare at Kerrigan's brow for a while.