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My father has always emphasize on studies being the main priority above everything else ( typical asian parents ) . In those days , they had only 1 uni in the whole country and everybody will fight for it . My dad said that he spent minimum of 10 hours a day studying and managed to get in the uni studying engineering . He taught me what hardwork is all about and said that we have it easy nowadays where we start whining when we studying 2 hours . I probably study around 5 hours a day on weekdays and try to go up to 8 on weekends if possible and that is considered little to him . But my real passion is playing poker ( i know i know poker is not a mature thing , just replace it with whatever that is considered professional , point is not about what my passion is ) . I am about to finish college and going uni by the end of this year . I was always not interested in studying and find it really hard to be motivated to study . Bear in mind i still try my best to study ( the best i could possibly do with my uninterested attitude towards studies which is maybe 80 % of what i am capable of ) and am considered a hardworking student by the teachers so it is not like i am some lazy bum whining or anything . My grades are B's C's in high school ( school exams are way harder to prepare for the public exam here ) but when the public exam comes i got 9 A's 1 B and 1 C , pretty good compared to the whole population in my country that takes the exam but in my school ~ 40 % got straight A's and about 10 % or so got 10 A's so i am actually considered average.
We were just talking about how prices of everything is going up and how hard it is for a fresh graduate to actually own a house and a car. So i told him in a joking way " i guess i have to play cards then '' . He was always against it since i was 16 and i haven't tried playing seriously yet but would like to try someday . And i told him that i am really not interested in studying and coming out doing those 9-5 jobs . I want to do what i love , be it poker , music or whatever my passion is 5 years down the road. And dont worry , i will finish uni and get that degree in order to survive later. My point of view is that i will pour my heart and soul in doing whatever i love and as for things like studying or working 9-5 job , i would probably still do it but maybe put 80 % as it is a necessity but i am not interested.
He told me i got it all wrong . My attitude towards life and success is wrong . He said that i had it easy because he has some money in the bank , a roof over our heads and some money in the pocket .In those days , it was not a choice to choose what you like and do well in it , it was either you do it to survive or you don't . Same goes for poorer child in other country . He asked me '' do you think that kid selling vegetable from morning to night just so that he has something to eat enjoys what he does ? he doesnt ! that is because he does not have a choice '' . He told me to learn from Japan , where even the janitor tries they're best at cleaning something . And that is the reason why the Japan managed to come back after the WWII .
It got me thinking , i thought whatever he says made alot of sense . Sure that janitor could have sweep less cleanly and still get the same pay check and i am sure most people would think the same . Why bother try to clean the whole 20mx20m area where i can just clean this 5mx5x area and nobody would have noticed . But i think that the person that tries his best to clean the 20x20 area will later find opportunity and work his way up because of his attitude while the 5x5 cleaner will always remain a cleaner . I think from now on i would not complain and tell myself '' i will only put 80 % in studies because i do not like it '' and instead i would treat it as if it was my passion and do whatever it takes to be the best at it . I am sure 1 day it will pay off ..
Discuss
PS : i am having a hard time expressing how i feel .Not sure if you guys understand , shoot any question though ..
 
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"Do the best in whatever you do" and "I want to do what i like" aren't incompatible.
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We shouldn't be striving for the freedom to do what we love.
We should learn to love those things we have to do.
I'm in the exact same situation as you are. Enjoyed reading this great time!
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Do the hell you want, it's your life and no one else's.
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On March 27 2011 22:27 [SuNdae] wrote:
Do the hell you want, it's your life and no one else's.
This, pretty much.
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If you live how you think somebody else thinks you should live, you are losing your freedom. You're being placed in a mental prison where you lose your uniqueness and won't maximize your development as a human being. Your dad is being selfish (Selfishness isn't living the way you want to live, its conforming others to living the way you want them to live). If you let somebody else run the direction of your life, you are being irresponsible. You are responsible for your life, feelings, and every result you get.
Rather than getting mad at your father, the responsible thing to do would be to become aware that your father was operating on the awareness he had some time in the past, and he continues to operate on that awareness. The only way he can expand his awareness, is if he actually wants to change. There are thousands of examples of people not even attending high school, let alone college, and going on to make millions. What you should do is forgive your father. However, keep in mind most people don't know what it means to forgive somebody. To forgive means to let go of, abandon completely.
Those are the facts regarding the situation as far as I know, and it would be irresponsible for me to provide you with any decisions...and it would be hypocritical. Hopefully you can resolve this situation so both you and your father can become better people.
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Thank you for sharing your story with us.
I grew up in a very multicultural community off an Island in Australia. One thing I have noticed from the transition from country to the city is how unhappy everyone is in the city. Something I really respect about my Island community is how happy everyone is. It's not because they are well off, infact most of them are considered under the poverty line. It's because most of them do what they love. They have kids and love and lookafter them, support each other in the community, and spend a lot of time doing what they love. Whether it's working, or growing plants or research or surfing. Everone just does what they love, it is a contrast to the city, where most people try to satisfy themselves with material objects and social status. It's a lot more cold and unfreindly. Just do what you like doing, finnish your degree so you have something to fall back on. But just expore what fruits the world can offer you 
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EPT
