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Bedroom Starcraft

Blogs > Poltergeist-
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Poltergeist-
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Sweden336 Posts
February 20 2011 21:51 GMT
#1
Rules for bedroom Starcraft


1. At the beginning of the game, it is generally wise to scout the other player(s) base thoroughly but
probing too hard might result in an irritated opponent. Find the sensitive information and you will both
be off to a good start.

2. Rushing is typically not appreciated by the other player due to the lack of satisfaction the
player recieves when the game is over so soon. This may be acceptable however if the available
amount of time to play is limited.

3. Be careful when attacking because sometimes pushing too far into the other players base might
cause your army to explode resulting in a pre-emptive gg.

4. Cheesing the other player by for example slipping a cannon in the players backside without any warning is probably not a good idea and might very well cause a raqequit, no gg and no rematch.

5. The optimal game is often where each player is allowed to macro up, do a lot of probing/harassing on the other players base which results in both players being happy and exhausted at the end of the game.

6. Usually it is up to one of the players to do most of the attacking. The best result is acheived
by this player thrusting their army into the opponents base, retreating, attacking again, etc...

7. Multiple players in the same game is often for more casual gaming and isn't taken quite
as seriously as 1v1. This game mode is acceptable as long as everyone in the game is okay before
the game gets started. With an ample warning, a player getting attacking from the front while being
harassed in the back of their base will still be able to enjoy the game. Most players want to be in the
Masters league for 1v1 and don't care too much what league they are in for the other modes.

8. High apm is an excellent trait to have in this game because fast moving fingers can be the key
to success.

9. There are a few different ways to play this game. Fast and aggressive, slow and steady,
somewhere in between or a combination. Certain play styles don't work so great together, for example,
two slow and steady players could create a very boring and long game. Any spectators will probably
not wait to see the end of the game.

10. Players often don't use their real name in this game. Aliases such as longdongsilver are both
clever and if true, much appreciated by the other player.



****
grnat
Profile Joined April 2010
Australia60 Posts
February 20 2011 21:57 GMT
#2
I hope i don't see longdongsilver on the ladder
I like protoss because I find it is fun and good
Tatari
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States1179 Posts
February 20 2011 22:00 GMT
#3
One of the best posts I've seen in a while.
A fed jungler is no longer a jungler, but a terrorist.
Kimaker
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2131 Posts
February 20 2011 22:01 GMT
#4
This is exactly how JaeDONG plays all the time. Are you him? O_o?
Entusman #54 (-_-) ||"Gold is for the Mistress-Silver for the Maid-Copper for the craftsman cunning in his trade. "Good!" said the Baron, sitting in his hall, But Iron — Cold Iron — is master of them all|| "Optimism is Cowardice."- Oswald Spengler
MisterD
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Germany1338 Posts
February 20 2011 22:12 GMT
#5
not quite as good as the guide to sex, but still very funny :D
Gold isn't everything in life... you need wood, too!
cody1024d
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
107 Posts
February 20 2011 22:29 GMT
#6
For some reason number four had me cracking up. Haha I agree, not as good as the guide to sex, but hilarious none the less, good job!
No point in half-assing it.
GhostKorean
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States2330 Posts
February 20 2011 22:37 GMT
#7
O_O
nekuodah
Profile Joined August 2010
England2409 Posts
February 20 2011 22:40 GMT
#8
Haha decent read gave me a chuckle.
Fallen33
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States596 Posts
February 20 2011 22:41 GMT
#9
sheer brilliance
"Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever." - Napoleon Bonaparte ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Turo
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Canada333 Posts
February 20 2011 22:52 GMT
#10
4 is totally the best! so gosu!
Nokarot
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States1410 Posts
February 20 2011 23:29 GMT
#11
Any advice for how to win a 1v2 match?
beep beep boop
OmniscientSC2
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United States713 Posts
February 20 2011 23:36 GMT
#12
Pretty funny. There is a related thread from a year or two ago that has some pretty nice SC/Sex Jokes: http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=95315
"You cannot just 1a2a3a your way into the vajayjay" lol
"Did you know about Day and the Wicker Basket?" - Harem "Hi, I'm from Texas." -TLO
PH
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States6173 Posts
February 21 2011 00:03 GMT
#13
Nice post, lol.
Hello
puppykiller
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States3137 Posts
February 21 2011 00:14 GMT
#14
Funny. I can tell you borrowed some ideas from certain youtube videos involving gomTV
Why would I play sctoo when I can play BW?
29 fps
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States5724 Posts
February 21 2011 00:16 GMT
#15
lol 5/5! great post!
4v4 is a battle of who has the better computer.
holy_war
Profile Blog Joined July 2007
United States3590 Posts
February 21 2011 00:17 GMT
#16
How about some Free For Alls =)
Loser777
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
1931 Posts
February 21 2011 00:40 GMT
#17
How about some build orders: you can never win a game on strategy alone.
6581
Daoism
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States84 Posts
February 21 2011 00:40 GMT
#18
i giggled
`Zapdos
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States935 Posts
February 21 2011 01:23 GMT
#19
I got a boner D:
www.twitch.tv/thezapdos come watch me :]
denzelz
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
United States604 Posts
February 21 2011 01:26 GMT
#20
This is a 5 star post!
HaeHei
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United Kingdom162 Posts
February 21 2011 01:30 GMT
#21
lolcake
Humans are weak. For every cure found, another disease is uncovered. It's a game of chase.
yourwhiteshadow
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States442 Posts
February 21 2011 03:13 GMT
#22
is there a 1 v 2 ladder? or 1 v 3?
Technical Director, Si Media Production, simediapro.com
Alou
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States3748 Posts
February 21 2011 03:26 GMT
#23
amusing read.
Life is Good.
Poltergeist-
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
Sweden336 Posts
February 21 2011 08:30 GMT
#24
lol, I had to cut the rules off at 10 because it felt like I could just keep coming up with more rules all the time. I like the build orders idea though, I mean, who plays unprepared??? Surely no master league player.
Hidden_MotiveS
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada2562 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-02-21 09:59:12
February 21 2011 09:57 GMT
#25
Finally... sex advice I can understand!


If you can't get your expansion up and running, your opponent may just leave from boredom.

Some of my friends say that they like to play practice games where they get their expansions off against a computer (solo games). Then when they get into a real game though, they don't have the stamina needed to continue because they've wasted too much energy on their practice matches.

Also be protective of your ramp. It's often a good idea to block your ramp off with buildings. This is important so I'll say it a third time, you can't have too much protection! You don't want to be caught by surprise some time in the future. If needed use two layers of walls. Remember, it's better to be safe than sorry in case your opponent has some hidden tech (baneling busts?).

On the other hand, you don't want to be too scared to attack. Be a bit assertive, your opponent will like it.

Never use bm like "I'm gonna rape you" or "I'm gonna own your ass". Trash talk is fine during the game, as long as it doesn't get too hardcore for a meek opponent.

It's better to win a 1v2, than it is to win a 2v1.

Be courteous and GG, after the game is over. If possible, try to arrange for multiple rematches. I find my best gaming sessions are the ones where I play with the same partner all night until we're both too exhausted to continue.
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