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Active: 3381 users

Good SC2 jokes?

Blogs > Seltsam
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Seltsam
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States343 Posts
December 23 2010 16:50 GMT
#1
I thought of this one a few days ago. It's not so much SC2 as it is SC2 players, but here it is:

If Duckloadra is Whitera when sponsored by Duckload, then what would you call Whitera's subconscious?
+ Show Spoiler +
Idra


Yeah it's not that great.

So anyone have anything better?

*
Team Limited ftw! www.teamltd.net
Coriolis
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States1152 Posts
December 23 2010 17:04 GMT
#2
What computer does idra use?
+ Show Spoiler +
IBM
Descolada in everything not TL/Starcraft
FiBsTeR
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States415 Posts
December 23 2010 17:08 GMT
#3
+ Show Spoiler +

Hydralisk
flowandebb
Profile Joined September 2010
Canada158 Posts
December 23 2010 17:12 GMT
#4
+ Show Spoiler +
So a probe walks into a bar and immediately goes to the bathroom. Barkeeper is confused when the probe doesn't walk out in a bit and goes to check. Hes greeted by 15 photon cannons.
kingjames01
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Canada1603 Posts
December 23 2010 17:14 GMT
#5
hehe, these are funny. =)
Who would sup with the mighty, must walk the path of daggers.
Zergneedsfood
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States10671 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-23 17:17:29
December 23 2010 17:16 GMT
#6
The game.
/人◕ ‿‿ ◕人\ Make a contract with me and join TLADT | Onodera isn't actually a girl, she's just a doormat you walk over to get to the girl. - Numy 2015
kingjames01
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
Canada1603 Posts
December 23 2010 17:29 GMT
#7
On December 24 2010 02:16 Zergneedsfood wrote:
The game.


That's not funny. :|
Who would sup with the mighty, must walk the path of daggers.
Ancestral
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
United States3230 Posts
December 23 2010 17:33 GMT
#8
Haha omg I laughed so hard at the barkeeper one...

I had some in the old Yo Momma BroodWar thread, which I will cite here for fame and fortune, there should be an SC2 version of that thread though...


+ Show Spoiler +
Yo mamma sooo fat that when she wanted to watch a live televised game of BroodWar in Yeongsan stadium people instead believed that bigfoot came down from the mountains and the authorities were promptly called


+ Show Spoiler +
Yo momma soo stupid, while she was atop the Peaks of Baekdu and hollared into the mists below, she perceived the echo as a being from an unseen companion, and in her delirium tried to engage in verbal niceties and pleas for helicopter rescue.


+ Show Spoiler +
Your mother is so stupid, that when she came upon the finest Khaydarin crystal ever made, that was inlaid into the amulet of Adun himself to herald a new age of pristine majesty among the warring Protoss tribes, she thought to herself, "behold, for if I use this in my BeDazzler, I will have some cute pimp shit to wear." But then, with the purest crystal defiled, unspeakable, horrible, cosmic forces consumed the souls of even the strongest warriors, and evaporated the bright stars that brought life to the Protoss worlds, leaving naught but cold, black, and empty shells scattered throughout the dead cosmos.
The Nature and purpose of the martial way are universal; all selfish desires must be roasted in the tempering fires of hard training. - Masutatsu Oyama
comabreaded
Profile Blog Joined July 2003
United States2166 Posts
December 23 2010 17:34 GMT
#9
On December 24 2010 02:04 Fargoth wrote:
What computer does idra use?
+ Show Spoiler +
IBM


lol that's great
I put the fu in fun
Garrl
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Scotland1979 Posts
December 23 2010 17:38 GMT
#10
+ Show Spoiler +
SC2
JackMcCoy
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
165 Posts
December 23 2010 17:54 GMT
#11
In Starkraft 2 video game, you kill stalker.
In советский celebrity Amerika, stalker kill you.

In Starkraft 2 video game, you want to spread creep.
In советский Russia, creep wants to spread you.

In Starkraft 2 video game, you control overlord.
In советский Russia, overlord control you.
This one is not joke.
OBJECTION
Rinrun
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada3509 Posts
December 23 2010 17:55 GMT
#12
No credit for the ''id' joke? Not bad.
MBC/Liquid/TSM always.
bakedace
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States672 Posts
December 23 2010 18:04 GMT
#13
On December 24 2010 02:54 JackMcCoy wrote:
In Starkraft 2 video game, you kill stalker.
In советский celebrity Amerika, stalker kill you.

In Starkraft 2 video game, you want to spread creep.
In советский Russia, creep wants to spread you.

In Starkraft 2 video game, you control overlord.
In советский Russia, overlord control you.
This one is not joke.


This is hilarious....
LazyMacro
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
976 Posts
December 24 2010 00:15 GMT
#14
On December 24 2010 02:54 JackMcCoy wrote:
In Starkraft 2 video game, you kill stalker.
In советский celebrity Amerika, stalker kill you.

In Starkraft 2 video game, you want to spread creep.
In советский Russia, creep wants to spread you.

In Starkraft 2 video game, you control overlord.
In советский Russia, overlord control you.
This one is not joke.

rofl
bebejugga
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States43 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-12-24 02:11:45
December 24 2010 02:11 GMT
#15
My brother and his roommate thought of this one:
+ Show Spoiler +
Your momma so fat, when she goes to work, they yell, "Carrier has arrived!!"

Is your muffin buttered? Would you like me to assign someone to butter your muffin?
SlapMySalami
Profile Joined August 2010
United States1060 Posts
January 09 2011 23:38 GMT
#16
On November 04 2010 08:10 SonuvBob wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 03 2010 22:14 deL wrote:
Have you ever refrained from banning someone who 100% deserved a serious ban (not just 2days / 1 week) just because they were a contributor / veteran / top player? Who?

I think you're hinting at someone in particular, but Idrather not answer this.


funnier b/c its from a mod... from the Ask TL Staff Anything thread

marineking will u huk my bigtt1 ilu
bLuR
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Canada625 Posts
February 21 2011 19:47 GMT
#17
What kind of shoes does KellyMILKIES wear?


Heellions
lum76
Profile Joined January 2011
Singapore11 Posts
February 22 2011 12:04 GMT
#18
A hydralisk walks into a bar. The bartender picks up the hydralisk and throws him out. Two weeks later, the hydralisk walks in again and says, "Hey, what did you do that for?!"
SpiritoftheTunA
Profile Blog Joined August 2006
United States20903 Posts
February 22 2011 12:48 GMT
#19
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=194532

all of these are great, my favorite was #15

+ Show Spoiler +
don't hate me =(
posting on liquid sites in current year
Mordanis
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States893 Posts
March 12 2011 00:33 GMT
#20
just had a stroke of brilliance with the old pun making so here goes

Note: if you don't like awful puns, you probably shouldn't read these...

+ Show Spoiler +
Breakfast and lunch played a game of sc2, and breakfast got wafflestomped


+ Show Spoiler +
Wheat and meat played a game of sc2, and the bread was rolled


+ Show Spoiler +
A Roman and a Sabine play a game of sc2, and the resuslt is The Rape of the Sabine(s)
I love the smell of napalm in the morning... it smells like... victory. -_^ Favorite SC2 match ->Liquid`HerO vs. SlayerS CranK g.1 @MLG Summer Championship
PUPATREE
Profile Joined August 2009
340 Posts
March 12 2011 02:30 GMT
#21
On December 24 2010 02:04 Coriolis wrote:
What computer does idra use?
+ Show Spoiler +
IBM


On December 24 2010 02:38 Garrl wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +
SC2


I like these.
ㅋㄲㅈㅁ
punchabird
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States32 Posts
March 12 2011 05:24 GMT
#22
On December 24 2010 02:16 Zergneedsfood wrote:
The game.


Seems y'all just lost it.
"Yes, you do have a soul. And it tastes like butterscotch pudding."
Tipany
Profile Joined November 2010
United States368 Posts
March 12 2011 05:34 GMT
#23
Yo mama so fat she uses a spine crawler to scratch her back.
wat.
sluggaslamoo
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
Australia4494 Posts
March 12 2011 07:10 GMT
#24
On February 22 2011 21:48 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=194532

all of these are great, my favorite was #15

+ Show Spoiler +
don't hate me =(


Lol that thread needs more love.
Come play Android Netrunner - http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=409008
HeadhunteR
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Argentina1258 Posts
March 12 2011 10:10 GMT
#25
Do you know when a blind man cries?
+ Show Spoiler +
when he realizes he is playing sc2 instead of bw. sc2 sounds suck ass
in The Kong line forever
RidingBean
Profile Joined March 2011
Germany1 Post
March 14 2011 10:34 GMT
#26
What was Hitlers favorite build?
+ Show Spoiler +
early double gas


User was warned for this post
redFF
Profile Blog Joined November 2010
United States3910 Posts
March 15 2011 04:18 GMT
#27
On February 22 2011 21:48 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=194532

all of these are great, my favorite was #15

+ Show Spoiler +
don't hate me =(


holy jesus that op made me cry with laughter, one has to read the whole op, one joke after the other, it's masterful.

+ Show Spoiler +
1.a sniper went up on a hill and said " i can shoot so far more far than anyone else" and another unit said "i beg to differ"...it was a viking

2.what did the zealot say to the speedling? get over here your too fast

3.wait this is weird...how does a tank fit in a ...medivac?? XD

4.the bartender said to the marine what drink do u want and the marine said i dont want a drink i want more stim paks!!!!!!!

5.THOR IS HERE!!! a thor says while he gets pwned by a bunch of roaches then dies

6.what kind of motor cycle does a marine ride? a battle cruiser

7.what does a mother ship do when hes sick of fighting with his wife? he puts her in a vortex (Warning : this is only a temporary solution.)

8.a ghost and a marine were having a nice talk to each other. they kept talking to each other , and the ghost said "i have to use the bathroom" , 10 secondcs later te marine heard "NUCLEAR LAUNCH DETECTED!!" AND THE MARINE WAS LIKE :OOOOOOOO

9.Advertisement : Zergs. tired of terrans dropping a thor on your cliff? don't worry, you can ju-

10.what kind of baby do 2 infestors make? an infested terran

11.a hydra tries to go to wal mart but by the time he gets there its closed

12.a big fat guy jumped in the water and said " i have the biggest splash" and a tank said i beg to differ

13.a zerg is attacking a protoss and owning him with roaches and then he sees a void ray and is like OH SHI-

14.u know whats so weird? o.O i saw a hellion...with a zergling driving it! Wtf? O.O

15.why do banelings roll? because they r so drunk

16.a marine was getting set up in a date with a brood lord. the marine asked the brood lord"about time your here" and the brood lord said "sorry im the longest nunit it takes for t3 because terran can get thor so quick"

17.a zerg decided to get 500 lings for an all out swarm attack. unfotunately the protoss had a sentry with full energy

18.a bunch of units keep atacking this other unit, but it wont die. why wont it die? its an immortal

19.the immortal asked the dark templar what kind of prisoners he got, and the immortal said, i got 2 HIGH templars

20."look at that unit..its a marine..now its a zealot...now its a zergling!"...it was a changeling....

21.rachel ray said "i got the perfect mix of treats here" and protoss said..no u dont and showed her a colossus void rays and zealots

22.gandalf needed powerful strength to block the demon...all the protoss needed was a forcefield

23.ultralisks? more like minilisks

24.a protoss said i need ot make this unit faster and chronoboosted the building

25.a marine said to his fellow marine in a battle "cast a fireball!" and the other marine said "wrong game buddy"

26.Theres two types of people in this world...People who do good in tournaments and huk.

27. An interviewer asks a high templar, who was your childhood idol? The high templar responds with kid cudi...because hes so high

28.a protoss in blue "trunks " (tb) is afraid of a red protoss. why? The red protoss looks like blood!

29.A terran looks at a protoss and says i'm hungry, the protoss responds with well ya cant eat me im made of metal!

30.Theres two types of people in this world....Marines and medivacs

31.What did the marine say to the hydralisk u mad u useless

32.a protoss said this game is going really slow and realized he said 100 chronoboost
had*

33.A protoss said to the terran "Man stim is ov...." The terran hit him with a swift stim timing attack

34.What did the marauder say to the marine? "I do better dps than you

35.A terran player runs into a protoss players base and asks why was your army not by the ramp, the protoss player responds by saying well i was worried there was going to be a blue flame helion drop, a marine drop, banshees, viking harass, a thor drop, or proxy helions

36.A zerg user looks at his base and sees 12 drones on minerals and says i really need to get more drones, a terran user looks at the same situation and says i'm fine!
and drops a mule

37.A reaper walks into a bar full of marauders and the marauders say "When did huk get here?

38.A collossus and a void ray are on a mothership for a vacation, and the void ray says "Boy do we mix well!"

39.A little girl is walking around town and notices a large mechanical object following her. what is it?
stalker

40.Zeratul walks into a bar full of stalkers and says, why the long face, robot?

41.A tired viking is flying around lost temple and spots a medivac. What does he say?
Care to give me a lift?

42.A thor walks to a bar and gets there just before closing time and asks why is there no counter

43.A hydralisk and a reaper walk to a bar to celebrate their new marriage, and the reaper gets home before the hydralisk gets there
44.your momma's so fat, it takes two motherships to cloak her.

45. You mothership is such a slut she cloaks enemy units and her vortex is a 7 radius

46.What food does a roach hate the most? ban-cheese!

47.Why do marines go to the toss base? to blow off some steam(stim)?

48.A collosus walks into a bar.

49.Why does IdrA eat soup with his fork? coz he wants to complain about how imba the spoon really is.

50. What's small, yellow, and loves to rape faces fast and hard? marines on stim

51. Why did the mother ship vortex all of the protoss units?
It didn't recall

52. What's the worst path to take if you don't want to be harassed?
the "creep" highway!

53. whats the difference between an apple and an nydus worm? have u ever tried nydus worm pie??!

54. what is even bigger than an ultralisk? a giant!

55. A Terran on a Terran Protoss team was gearing up for the final push. He positioned his tanks outside his base. There were thors and hellions for backup. As he was about to deal the final blow the Protoss took his

mothership and initiated a

factory recall
GoldenMaster
Profile Joined September 2011
Germany12 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-09-30 06:16:31
September 30 2011 06:16 GMT
#28
I recently made on up, I think its bad but I guess bad jokes are worth it here and then.

What's a protoss player in bronze-league?
+ Show Spoiler +
not-so-pro toss
Everything has an end but the sausage has two!
GoldenMaster
Profile Joined September 2011
Germany12 Posts
October 09 2011 11:28 GMT
#29
2000 views since my bump and nobody left a comment?
sad panda
Everything has an end but the sausage has two!
i_imperator
Profile Blog Joined July 2011
Ireland94 Posts
October 09 2011 12:09 GMT
#30
What did the mariene say when he A-moved into the other base with 24 other mariens, 2 tanks and a medivac at the 12minutes mark.
''Duh Winning''
Sorry if thats terrible,
The_Templar
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
your Country52798 Posts
October 09 2011 14:56 GMT
#31
+ Show Spoiler +
Carriers.
ModeratorI am still alive, somehow
TL+ Member
mizU
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
United States12125 Posts
October 09 2011 15:21 GMT
#32
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=202318

Lololololol
if happy ever afters did exist <3 @watamizu_
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