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So for my less than amazing online English class i had to write a 400-600 word "how-to" on something that doesnt exist. Examples that the teacher gave were "how to survival a zombie apocalypse" and "how to wash a dragon"
I figured someone would enjoy this for the fact that I tried to stay true to the lore and make it interesting enough for a non-starcraft player to read.
How to tame a zergling
Before I begin describing the art of taming a zergling, it is important to note that this process is very dangerous, and you should assess your own personal strength before attempting this feat. It is strongly recommended that you have a friend standing nearby with a gun if something goes wrong. It is extremely important that you are aware that zerglings are dangerous creatures of the Zerg swarm, and even following this guide word for word could yield fatal results. If you choose to continue, you will need to acquire a number of things prior to finding a zergling to tame. After gathering the required materials, you will spend some time finding a zergling suitable to tame. Finally, I will describe in detail the taming process.
Prior to even searching for a zergling to tame, it is recommended that you set up a place for it to stay after capture. I personally recommend a cage 12 feet wide by 12 feet long by 6 feet high, made from vespene-infused blue mineral titanium plating. You can find this at your local Terran military builders market, and it will provide adequate space for the zergling to exercise and a strong frame to keep the it from escaping if it becomes unhappy. I also recommend purchasing blue mineral powder or granulated blue minerals and the cheapest cuts of beef you can obtain to feed your pet zergling. Lastly, you will need 4 or more pounds of dried beef, and a large vehicle (preferably a pickup truck) with enough space to hold a befriended zergling. After this is done, you are ready to track one down.
Zerglings are born in pairs. There is always a twin that it will live its entire life with until one of them dies. There is an inseparable bond that keeps them fighting together until they are told to retreat. Unfortunately this makes it almost impossible to tame a zergling that is still running amok with its twin. You will spend a large amount of time attempting to find a lone zergling. The best place to look is near the closest Zerg hive, but be extremely careful. The closer you get to a hive, the more likely you are to run into more powerful Zerg warriors, which will prove to be fatal. A rule of thumb is if you come into contact with purple mold growing on the terrain, then you have gone too close to the hive and should immediately back away. This purple mold is called Creep and only grows close to the center of a Zerg establishment.
It is extremely important when approaching a zergling that you do not approach from its rear or side. Eventually the zergling will see you, become startled, and attack. You want to approach directly from the front of it with some food in hand. Do not carry a weapon as this will also startle the zergling into attacking. Zerglings have been bred to attack once they recognize a weapon. Slowly approach the zergling, and when you are about 8 feet away, toss the food at its feet. If the zergling is feeling at ease it will quickly begin to eat the meat. During this time, you may take a few more cautious steps forward and procure another piece of meat. Continue doing this until you are within an arm’s length of the zergling. Hand feeding the zergling is the last step, and should solidify your role as the dominant species. After gentle coaxing, the zergling should follow you to its new home.
 
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I think you'd need to purchase a psi emitter or else the zergling might get some unfortunate commands from the overmind. Otherwise fun read. :D
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Your teacher is going to be lost on "zergling"
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On November 30 2010 06:57 HwangjaeTerran wrote:
Your teacher is going to be lost on "zergling"
My last assignment was to describe the cover of a cd, dvd, or video game.
Jimmy Raynor never sounded so good.
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If one day you wake up, check on your caged Zergling, and find nothing in the cage, do not panic; it most definitely means that the hive cluster from which this Zergling was a part of just finished evolving the ability to burrow. Also, do not panic if you find your Zergling growing stronger claws, developing stronger exoskeleton, moving faster, or doing drugs; all of these are normal evolutions which take place in a Zergling's short life. However, do be more cautious given everyday it grows more suitable to kill you.
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If only there wasnt a 600 word maximum
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This is pretty cute. I like your imagination.
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Cool read, shame it is only 600 words maximum.
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Awesome. So I'm not the only person who wants a pet zergling.
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On November 30 2010 07:43 Misillusion wrote:
Awesome. So I'm not the only person who wants a pet zergling.
I'm not much of a writer so I had to pick something I felt motivated to write about.
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Also don't feed it vespene or it will evolve into an explosive pet.
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I don't know if your English teacher will be very favourable to the style. I just finished a similar course for university and the teacher kept critiquing my writing style: too many difficult words, overly lengthy sentences, it was supposedly hard to follow the line of thought.
For your text it's a bit the same, all sentences are around the same length and just state one thing, not to mention that you also use a lot of words with high syllable count. What you might want to do is add more diversity as well as structure.
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On November 30 2010 08:10 Mothxal wrote:
I don't know if your English teacher will be very favourable to the style. I just finished a similar course for university and the teacher kept critiquing my writing style: too many difficult words, overly lengthy sentences, it was supposedly hard to follow the line of thought.
For your text it's a bit the same, all sentences are around the same length and just state one thing, not to mention that you also use a lot of words with high syllable count. What you might want to do is add more diversity as well as structure.
Although I appreciate your concerns, I am not an English major (thank god) but a Game Development major. None of the words I chose to use were because of length or syllable count. I only use vocabulary that I would commonly use in everyday life.
It's hard to write a "how-to" that is supposed to be very straight forward with a varying sentence length and word choice. One would assume this is supposed to be a functional text rather than a recreational one.
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Interesting read. I like the idea a lot, but I feel like as an actual how-to guide it's quite lacking. Surely there is more to taming a zergling than just feeding it until it comes closer to you. You wrote more detail than that, but at first read that was the impression I got. I don't really know what someone who doesn't know anything about Starcraft lore would think though.
Sounds like a great class, though. Keep showing us more of your Starcraft related writing.
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Pfft, how are you befriending it if you are giving it the cheapest cuts of meat? I find this guide not only incredibly cruel, but perpetuating of the Terran social structures that keep humans from seeing Zerglings as intelligent creatures with their own existential woes and desires.
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On November 30 2010 08:05 polgas wrote:
Also don't feed it vespene or it will evolve into an explosive pet.
LOL! Nice writeup by the way. I enjoyed it. =)
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Awww pet zergling :3 So cute ^_____^
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On November 30 2010 08:27 garbanzo wrote:
Interesting read. I like the idea a lot, but I feel like as an actual how-to guide it's quite lacking. Surely there is more to taming a zergling than just feeding it until it comes closer to you. You wrote more detail than that, but at first read that was the impression I got. I don't really know what someone who doesn't know anything about Starcraft lore would think though.
Sounds like a great class, though. Keep showing us more of your Starcraft related writing.
The constraints of the assignment (specifically the word count) severely hampered my ability to flesh out a more detailed instruction. Yes there is more but I did not have enough available words to elaborate on it.
Maybe I'll rewrite the guide and include more of my initial ideas.
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Actually that was pretty cool, I hope you get a high mark for this Phrost 
You totally deserve it xD
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EPT
