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So I thought since my last life lesson went over so well, I'd pass on some more knowledge that I've gleaned over my years of making mistakes.
I started learning Mandarin as I'll be heading off to China in April after working my ass off in NZ for a while. One of my friends put me onto a site called "Livemocha" It works on a principal that you're supposed to pay to get lessons and shit, but to be honest the lessons suck and the site is pretty worthless in that regard. HOWEVER, it does allow you to be put into contact with a lot of people who are looking to learn different languages, and thats the real treasure.
You can meet a bunch of people that speak the language you want to learn and want to the learn the language that you speak, which is immensely more helpful than a couple exercises.
Of course, you need to be speaking English and learning a relatively unpopular language for you to really profit. It is somewhat more difficult for something to language swap the other way around, but in my shoes I can find language partners with extreme ease.
Now, learning mandarin has not been without it's downfalls... the characters are fucking difficult to remember and pronunciation, while I can get it... is also horribly difficult to remember the inflections and tones. But if you can hook yourself up with a motivated individual, you'll be making leaps and bounds before you know it, and I've lined up a whole bunch of places to visit while I'm in China now that I've made a bunch of friends there. It's also had a whole crapload of funny moments and miscommunications.
I recently taught a girl the meaning of "wearing the pants" in terms of a relationship... where one person has most of the control. I thought it was innocuous enough... But I was talking with one of my friends and we were talking about the progress I've been making and I get this message from the girl and he's sitting right there so reads it with me:
[10:46] Her: are you angry with me
[10:46] mike: nono
[10:46] mike: why would I be angry at you
[10:47] Her: because I don't wear my pants at all
[10:47] Her: ..
[10:47] Her: sorry
At this point, my friend starts cracking up... he has no idea the pretense... but apparently she was referring to an earlier message about her boyfriend making a decision and her following it. He thinks I'm taking advantage of these poor students...
Anyways... I go on to explain the correct usage... no harm done.
Next day, a different student that helping me learn Mandarin comes online and the same friend is around...
[5:34] Her: So she my friend and my boss. Hurt me so much
[5:34] Her: Like double penetration
So he officially thinks I'm exploiting these students, and before you ask no not all of them are girls... but they happened to be in this case.
She had no idea what the double penetration meant... but was pretty embarrassed after I told her... and yes that was a awkward conversation...
Moral of the story... Language swapping is an awesome way to learn a new language, but if you're advocating it to someone else, you've got to screen your conversations.
 
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Learning written mandarin/chinese is quite tough.
Heck, I'm Chinese, but i dont really know how to write or read in chinese, just some basic words.
Good luck learning mandarin!
And im so LOLing at the double penetration! Haha!
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That's hilarious. I thoroughly enjoy conversing with people who are not native English speakers. It can lead to really funny situations.
On November 23 2010 01:28 meeple wrote:
[5:34] Her: So she my friend and my boss. Hurt me so much
[5:34] Her: Like double penetration
I'm not really sure why she chose those words? I guess she meant something along the lines of being "attacked from both sides"? Yeah, that probably makes sense.
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At least you didn't run to the classic "hard disks".
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Austin10831 Posts
lol this reminded me of a pretty funny story. In our junior year of high school, these two brothers moved from Russia and started school with us. One was a super-devoted chess player and the other was an unbelievable wrestler. The older brother, the wrestler, ended up making it to the state finals for wrestling and he was interviewed by a local news show, and I still remember the exchange verbatim in his thick accent. It was like he was trying to explain to the reporter how wrestling worked, but in the worst possible way. He was like a completely deadpan Russian Tobias Fünke.
Reporter: Do you have any plans going into the match?
Igor: This boy will come on me. I will beat him off. No sweats.
I wish I had a copy of the clip. We had this thing called Channel1 that played in homeroom, which was just some cheesy tv newsmagazine style show for high schoolers, but they played the clip beforehand the next day and the entire school saw it. When he found out the other meanings of what he had said, instead of being embarrassed, he was delighted and started doing "air masturbation" and saying "beat him off beat him off" with this huge grin on his face like every day.
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5/5 for double penetration. Oh man I am cracking up for real. Too good.
Hmm... mandarin is on my list of things to learn.
(chalk up another win for brood - LOL)
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On November 23 2010 01:42 garbanzo wrote:That's hilarious. I thoroughly enjoy conversing with people who are not native English speakers. It can lead to really funny situations. Show nested quote +On November 23 2010 01:28 meeple wrote:
[5:34] Her: So she my friend and my boss. Hurt me so much
[5:34] Her: Like double penetration
I'm not really sure why she chose those words? I guess she meant something along the lines of being "attacked from both sides"? Yeah, that probably makes sense.
Think the words "double offensive" (as in an offensive front in war) is a term commonly used in China, and the chinese word for offensive can be translated also as penetration.
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This website is a bit of a waste of time, I found 
But I agree it's absolutely awesome to join language learning communities. Feel I have to do my languages a little more intensely now 
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On November 23 2010 02:08 BroOd wrote:
lol this reminded me of a pretty funny story. In our junior year of high school, these two brothers moved from Russia and started school with us. One was a super-devoted chess player and the other was an unbelievable wrestler. The older brother, the wrestler, ended up making it to the state finals for wrestling and he was interviewed by a local news show, and I still remember the exchange verbatim in his thick accent. It was like he was trying to explain to the reporter how wrestling worked, but in the worst possible way. He was like a completely deadpan Russian Tobias Fünke.
Reporter: Do you have any plans going into the match?
Igor: This boy will come on me. I will beat him off. No sweats.
I wish I had a copy of the clip. We had this thing called Channel1 that played in homeroom, which was just some cheesy tv newsmagazine style show for high schoolers, but they played the clip beforehand the next day and the entire school saw it. When he found out the other meanings of what he had said, instead of being embarrassed, he was delighted and started doing "air masturbation" and saying "beat him off beat him off" with this huge grin on his face like every day.
Ahahahahaha epic... No sweats...
Yeah that website isn't very good... but the people you meet there are helpful. People willing to learn and forcing you to swap lessons really does reinforce some stuff. Plus you can make some awesome friends.
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ahahaha great story!!
one of my chinese friends was so confused when the professor told the class that he was going to get an "AV guy" because the projector wasn't working. and my friend was wondering what AV meant, because it couldn't possibly be what she was thinking of.
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You EXPLAINED to her what it actually meant?
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Phahah this cracked me up! :D You should have also posted the part where you explain DP to her.
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+ Show Spoiler +On November 23 2010 02:08 BroOd wrote:
lol this reminded me of a pretty funny story. In our junior year of high school, these two brothers moved from Russia and started school with us. One was a super-devoted chess player and the other was an unbelievable wrestler. The older brother, the wrestler, ended up making it to the state finals for wrestling and he was interviewed by a local news show, and I still remember the exchange verbatim in his thick accent. It was like he was trying to explain to the reporter how wrestling worked, but in the worst possible way. He was like a completely deadpan Russian Tobias Fünke.
Reporter: Do you have any plans going into the match?
Igor: This boy will come on me. I will beat him off. No sweats.
I wish I had a copy of the clip. We had this thing called Channel1 that played in homeroom, which was just some cheesy tv newsmagazine style show for high schoolers, but they played the clip beforehand the next day and the entire school saw it. When he found out the other meanings of what he had said, instead of being embarrassed, he was delighted and started doing "air masturbation" and saying "beat him off beat him off" with this huge grin on his face like every day.
Man, OP was funny (I would like to read your explanation for DP) but this post had me laughing so hard. I had a Russian friend in middle school and I could hear that in his voice. He was quite the badass but he botched so many sayings. Funny guy. Oh nostalgia.
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Lmao, these stories are just hilarious. I can't stop laughing, great read though. I wish I had the time to learn a new language though... Be pretty cool, problem is, I would have no one to speak to around here.
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On November 23 2010 05:21 BuGzlToOnl wrote:
You EXPLAINED to her what it actually meant?
I know! Thats fucking hilarious.
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On November 23 2010 05:21 BuGzlToOnl wrote:
You EXPLAINED to her what it actually meant?
Well... I couldn't have fucking let her keep using now could I?? Not in good conscience anyways...
Here's my explanation for those who wanted to know...
[5:34] Her: So she my friend and my boss. Hurt me so much
[5:34] Her: Like double penetration
[5:35] Me: Ahaha... ummm.... you probably should'nt use that...
[5:35] Her: ?? what
[5:36] Me: "Double penetration" It's a dirty term... you just shouldn't use it
[5:36] Her: o_o... whats mean?
[5:36] Me: lol... oh god...
[5:36] Me: It means sex in both holes
[5:38] Her: 不明白 (This means "I don't understand" in Mandarin)
[5:38] Her: both holes?
[5:41] Me: lol... this is awkward... like two things... one in 阴道 and one in 肛门 (I'm pretty sure you can guess these meanings)
[5:42] Her: ...
[5:42] Her: omg
[5:42] Her: /lengh (This is an embarrassed face in QQ, the chat we use)
[5:42] Her: so bad. I am sorry
I change the subject quickly after this... no need to dwell
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one in 阴道 and one in 肛门 hahahahaha
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On November 24 2010 00:43 MyHeroNoob wrote:
one in 阴道 and one in 肛门 hahahahaha
Does that even translate correctly? I used google... hopefully it didn't fail me
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haha yeah, that translation is pretty clear hahaha.
Now you just taught a bunch of TLers how to write vagina and anus in Chinese, congrats.
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EPT
