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ok so I was at this party last night, met a cool girl really smart attractive etc and she seemed into me. If anyone asked "wanna go out and chill" she would always wait for me if I said yes or no etc and stay with me, we talked a lot laughed and so on you get the deal. She was not drinking tho (!), so I was drunk, not that much but still a bit, while she obviously wasn't at all.
Later that night like 3am I asked her if she wanted to go for a walk, she said yes and we walked for like 1 hour lol just talking and stuff things was going pretty well! When we had walked for a while we we're gonna head back so I told her "I think you're cute", and she responded with "Thanks, you're cute too". I said something like: "Thanks, so.. do you have a boyfriend or anything?" and she: "No, not right now". I'm like yay, "cool.. good to hear hehe" (I was drunk XD). Then shes like "and I'm probably gonna stay single for a while now, we just broke up" and I'm like... crap. Then we walked back talking pretty much nothing special really.
Rest of the night went like before just chilling, having fun etc, we slept together on a couch for a little tho. xD pretty uncomfortable.. I got her number. I texted her before asking for her msn and got it, and she said something along the lines of "thanks for the nice walk and everything :3". Now I need you to guide me TL, what should be my next step? 
I'm sorry if this makes no sense, I didn't sleep yet cuz got home so "late" (the day after the party), and didn't wanna sleep away the whole day so staying up til evening xD
 
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ask her out for a coffee or similar and be yourself. should work :p
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the Dagon Knight4005 Posts
I agree with Starparty. She might be reluctant, but it sounds like she's into you 
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Don't take things on a rush. Just ask her out once in a while for coffee, to eat, maybe another walk. Get to know her a bit more.
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Play your cards right and eventually you'll get her, or get butthurt yourself. But you can get up, can you?
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Don't push her, ask her out, do funny things together and get to know her. Don't focus on a relationship (just don't think about it), just relax, be yourself (!) and have fun. Avoid online conversations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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She just broke up with her boyfriend. If she is a good girl she may not want to get involved with you or anyone in this case soley because she may still have feelings for him and it wouldn't be fair to whomever she did get involved with. Sounds like she has respect for others. I'm gonna give her credibility as a good girl
If i were you i would just work on being friends right now and not push the issue at all. If you do it could push her away. After all you do want her to choose you because she likes you right?
P.s Don't let yourself become a rebound ;P
Good luck.
-Loveline
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no more 'I think you're cute' please, that was an awkward line. :p
sounds a lot like you should have just made out, but you missed your chance and now things are slightly awkward. ask her out for a drink, worst things that can happen is she says no.
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On July 11 2010 20:37 Zoler wrote:
When we had walked for a while we we're gonna head back so I told her "I think you're cute", and she responded with "Thanks, you're cute too". I said something like: "Thanks, so.. do you have a boyfriend or anything?"
Why didn't you just kiss her? T___T
What kind of question is that after that moment?
Be natural, and don't worry: because you'll create tension.
It's not science, people. You get along or you don't.
Don't complicate.
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On July 11 2010 20:55 Orome wrote:
no more 'I think you're cute' please, that was an awkward line. :p
sounds a lot like you should have just made out, but you missed your chance and now things are slightly awkward. ask her out for a drink, worst things that can happen is she says no.
yeah I realized that myself afterwards T_T stupid stupid, oh well
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i agree with the poster above me, smart sober girl goes on a walk at 3 am and thinks your cute, how many more hints do you need?
she just said she wants to be single in order to avoid coming across like a slut.
value her non verbal signals way more than what she says and you'll do fine.
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ok so we established I epic failed, what to do now? >_< wait? contact her? ask her out, how soon?
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On July 11 2010 20:58 Yggdrasil Leaf wrote:Show nested quote +On July 11 2010 20:37 Zoler wrote:
When we had walked for a while we we're gonna head back so I told her "I think you're cute", and she responded with "Thanks, you're cute too". I said something like: "Thanks, so.. do you have a boyfriend or anything?" Why didn't you just kiss her? T___T What kind of question is that after that moment? Be natural, and don't worry: because you'll create tension. It's not science, people. You get along or you don't. Don't complicate.
First of all, I never thought I would respond to a girl blog by you lol.
That being said, this guy is right. She gives you a lot of hints and wants you to make a move. Just make one, don't be afraid. If she dodges, bad luck but there are like 3bil+ chicks on this planet.
Edit: On July 11 2010 21:02 Zoler wrote:
ok so we established I epic failed, what to do now? >_< wait? contact her? ask her out, how soon?
Just ask her out, no matter when. It's the way you do it and not when. Just don't rush things and put too much pressure on her. Make her feel safe, then strike all out of a sudden, works for most girls.
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On July 11 2010 21:02 Zoler wrote:
ok so we established I epic failed, what to do now? >_<
Call her, go out and be yourself?
Don't be afraid, ffs. If it doesn't work, it doesn't.
Now go find out.
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also, next problem: I'm going to Stockholm which is on the other side of Sweden on tuesday for 1 week >_< I'm thinking calling her or something tomorrow and decide to meet when I get back?
Next time I won't fail you guys :D
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On July 11 2010 20:54 lew wrote:
Don't push her, ask her out, do funny things together and get to know her. Don't focus on a relationship (just don't think about it), just relax, be yourself (!) and have fun. Avoid online conversations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I need to quote this. This come of as some advice from an old fart, but I am never gonna give a girl my msn again, ever. Call her, go out, be actually together (I know calling is actually being together, but it's a lot better than typing on a fucking keyboard)
Also, you went on a walk, was there any physical interaction (meaning: touch) or just a walk, with reasonable space between you two. I mean, you could probably try to hold hands, if done subtlety she won't mind
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make TL proud zoler (post pics)
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I don't understand how you were 'mindgamed' by this girl but okay... good luck in wooing her.
On July 11 2010 21:01 r3dox wrote:
she just said she wants to be single in order to avoid coming across like a slut.
value her non verbal signals way more than what she says and you'll do fine.
girls = sluts, a no is a yes in disguise am I right?
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On July 11 2010 21:22 icystorage wrote:
make TL proud zoler (post pics)
This.
Haha, on a serious note good luck man. Like the above posts said, you should ask her out but in a casual fashion and nothing too fancy at first (coffee). Sounds like she's really into you. Then again, I have no girl experience whatsoever Good luck!
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sounds like from your description that there might be something there but that she's not quite ready for anything. She sounds like a good girl.
Now you just gotta stay cool and be awesome long enough to ride out her break-up sickness if you want a relationship. You're looking at about a month or more. If you're more going for sex, I'd say give her a smaller recovery time (two weeks or so) and then try making another move. Be cool confident and not pushy; she'll find a way to let you know one way or another how she feels. If you push for one and she responds no, though, that's it; you gambled and lost and now you're in friend-territory.
I wholly second everyone above who's saying to avoid online chatting.
Edit:
Oh yea, and best of luck
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Just ask her out man. Try to think of something which both of you can enjoy, like going to theme parks and all other things like that.
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On July 11 2010 21:01 r3dox wrote:
i agree with the poster above me, smart sober girl goes on a walk at 3 am and thinks your cute, how many more hints do you need?
she just said she wants to be single in order to avoid coming across like a slut.
value her non verbal signals way more than what she says and you'll do fine.
+1
The fact that you're talking to each other means you like each other, you don't need to spell it out.
And don't talk about relationships so soon.. just hang out and see if you like her and if you like the dynamics you two got. Don't set yourself goals like "we should be officially a couple". Just take it slowly and enjoy the time together. Be yourself - being anything else brings you no good longterm.
gl hf
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Meet her again fairly soon and see what kind of impression you get about her once you're not drunk.
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Do not message her on MSN , wait for her to message you! Also better meet and talk than chat. Also.. always remember:
FRIENDS talk about problems and listen all the time. You don't want to go that deep..
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On July 11 2010 22:04 G.s)NarutO wrote:
Do not message her on MSN , wait for her to message you! Also better meet and talk than chat. Also.. always remember:
FRIENDS talk about problems and listen all the time. You don't want to go that deep..
I agree with this, however, I'm going away for 1 week on tuesday, how long should I wait before I call her? (I wont have internet during these 7 days)
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you should've kissed her.
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On July 11 2010 23:04 Zoler wrote:Show nested quote +On July 11 2010 22:04 G.s)NarutO wrote:
Do not message her on MSN , wait for her to message you! Also better meet and talk than chat. Also.. always remember:
FRIENDS talk about problems and listen all the time. You don't want to go that deep.. I agree with this, however, I'm going away for 1 week on tuesday, how long should I wait before I call her? (I wont have internet during these 7 days)
There's nothing like "how to treat a woman" instruction, at least not of me. You can tell her you will be away for a week and if she feels like she can message or call you. Maybe message her when you really feel like it. Never give her the impression that you can't be without her etc !
The less interest you show, the more mysterious you are. Mysterious = interesting for women :-) On the other hand, if you don't show enough interest in her, she might think that you actually are not interested.. thin line !
Gl , don't rush stuff.
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On July 11 2010 23:23 G.s)NarutO wrote:Show nested quote +On July 11 2010 23:04 Zoler wrote:On July 11 2010 22:04 G.s)NarutO wrote:
Do not message her on MSN , wait for her to message you! Also better meet and talk than chat. Also.. always remember:
FRIENDS talk about problems and listen all the time. You don't want to go that deep.. I agree with this, however, I'm going away for 1 week on tuesday, how long should I wait before I call her? (I wont have internet during these 7 days) There's nothing like "how to treat a woman" instruction, at least not of me. You can tell her you will be away for a week and if she feels like she can message or call you. Maybe message her when you really feel like it. Never give her the impression that you can't be without her etc ! The less interest you show, the more mysterious you are. Mysterious = interesting for women :-) On the other hand, if you don't show enough interest in her, she might think that you actually are not interested.. thin line ! Gl , don't rush stuff.
there we go complicating stuff...
Zoler, control your anxiety.
Do you want to meet this girl? Call her today at a convenient time and ask if she wants to go with you to some fun place when you can after that week.
That's fine, that's not being pushy or needy.
Have some confidence and balls, man!
When you started talking to her, did you plan it? No, it just happened.
That's how it usually is, it just happens.
Do it and don't think too hard.
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I'd say wait like 2 days and then meet her somewhere. I would not ask her on an big date cause she said she just broke up and stuff but from here if you see her at the mall or coffee shop it could go well.
I would also avoid online conversation or awkward texting.
GL HF
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I'm actually glad you didnt kiss her. With you being drunk and shes sober and all.. that could end up very wrong xD
TL is sooo good on this! Should just collect all the love-help-replies and make it into a book. "How to get chicks, by TL.net".
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Women are usually subtle about things dude, if she was following you like a puppy all along called you cute, it was fucking obvious she was waiting for you to make a move.
She was waiting for you to kiss her.
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you didn't get mindgamed, that is standard girl psychology imho. She's totally ready for you man, don't be afraid to pursue.
Also, if she was waiting on your every move, this when you give her the little bit of "nah maybe" shit. Sounds retarded but it makes her want you more.
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she be the boat
you be the anchor
understand?
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United States4796 Posts
Whatever it is, don't do drinkin' and talkin'.
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you always need to follow the push until you meet resistance ideals with women
like in your situation you commented that you liked her in some way and she replied (that should actually be enough for a home run)
anyways then you take the next logical step and touch her in some way to see if she's cool with that (who knows some girls might be physically more reserved than others!)
if she does let you touch her and seems happy with this development then you can obviously go in for the kiss
once you're at this stage you can push as far as you feel comfortable with given the situation and your level of being a man pussy, but slow is never entirely wrong once you've gone this far
and then just keep pushing until you meet resistance! you'd be surprised how far some girls will go cause they can like you alot from the get go and not show it as directly as you might think
this strat has never failed for me in any situation, though some of it does require being able to talk yourself calmly out of situations when you push too far or something but that's rarely an issue.
i hate tl girl blogs but for some reason this one seemed like a legit situation where someone isnt fucking 12 years old asking how to interpret a girl blinking at you and then touching your arm, so hopefully you can learn and adapt, while gaining confidence but not being cocky.
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ok so talked to her on msn (yes msn even tho some people told me not to >_< oh well), decided to meet sometime between 20-25 july cuz thats when i get home and shes leaving somewhere on the 25th.
So any tips what to do? I'm really bad at this stuff lol
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it's so situational people can tell you what to do other than dont be a bitch
girls expect guys to make moves cause of social norms, so yeah
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Misleading OP. I thought this was going to be a rant from a guy getting mentally screwed over by a psycho chick.
Go somewhere you know she likes. If you don't, think of things she likes and take her somewhere related to that. Don't overthink things, you'll just stress yourself out for nothing. You'll be fine.
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noooooo Zoler...I skimmed this thread and you should have made your attempts moe subtle with the msn and arranging for dates to meet up.
I've drank a bit so I'm not thinking clearly but pm me tomorrow and I'll lead you to victory!
Things seemed to be going fine and if she liked you, she would have been thinking of you regardless...so you messaging her is fine, but it may come across ad a bit clingy. If she was kinda neutral, she wouldn't have been thinking as much, and your attempts would be forced. You should have done small things here and there (add her on facebook or something) AND THAT'S IT. It would leave her thinking and give you a chance to keep in contact with her to strike when you were back from your trip to Uruguay.
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On July 12 2010 03:27 CharlieMurphy wrote:
you didn't get mindgamed, that is standard girl psychology imho. She's totally ready for you man, don't be afraid to pursue.
Also, if she was waiting on your every move, this when you give her the little bit of "nah maybe" shit. Sounds retarded but it makes her want you more.
i was going to say same thing
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Canada9720 Posts
doesn't sound like mindgames dood, just sounds like she likes you. you're in the clear, just play it kewl
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On July 12 2010 22:06 CTStalker wrote:
doesn't sound like mindgames dood, just sounds like she likes you. you're in the clear, just play it kewl
Well, he was drunk writing this blog...
And to add my opinion to the others: Don't WAIT. I made that error ONCE, when I waited for my girl after she broke up with a total dochebag. She said that she needed some freedom etc. I waited two months and then I was two weeks out of her view point: BAM! Had to wait another 6 months until she broke up with an even bigger douchebag. When she did, I immediatly focused all of my attention on her and her only and now we are really happy together (besides the fact that she lives 9000 km far away, but this ends in August :D)!
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Usually when a girl breaks up she seeks for a fuck buddy.
That could have been your case.
It usually doesn't develop to serious relationship and does not last long.
Yeah you should have at least kissed her.
You've been too reactionary - after she told you she does want to stay single you frozen.
You should not care about this at all and say something like "me too" or "doesn't matter" and go for the kiss.
Now you're probably out of the window of opportunity, and are officially friend-zoned.
Better luck and initiative next time!
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EPT
