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Today has been one of the saddest days of my life.
One of my roommates, not to mention my good friend, Jen, is in the hospital with some very serious injuries. She went out last night downtown to celebrate the 21st birthday of a mutual friend. We were outside the bar in the back smoking, passing a pitcher around, taking pictures, goofing around, all the the usual stuff. It was just like any other summer night in this college town. Jen asked, “who wants to climb on the roof?” No one wanted to. We kind of laughed it off and didn’t take her too seriously, seeing as how the roof is very difficult to get onto (especially when we’d been drinking all night). She crossed the alley, and started climbing up a fire escape on a nearby building.
The next part all happened so fast…
When she was about fifteen or twenty feet up the fire escape, she leaned over and fell suddenly. She hit her head on an air conditioning unit and then landed on the asphalt. While she didn’t fall a great distance (I swear I could probably jump to the ground from the height she fell from), she landed awkwardly and hit her head very hard. At very first it was almost funny, but we soon saw her lying there completely still. Upon getting closer, we saw blood gushing out of her mouth onto the sidewalk. We called 911 immediately and they instructed us to turn her on her side, so that the blood could drain from her mouth and so that she wouldn’t choke.
When the paramedics arrived, they put her into the ambulance and from the way they were acting and the things they were saying it seemed as if she was going to be okay. Maybe a bad concussion or something like that.
We went to the hospital last night and then went our separate ways home, to sleep. As I went to sleep I figured that everything would be ok, maybe some bruises, a concussion, bump on the head, a night in the hospital. However, this morning at about 6am I received a phone call from a friend. On the phone I learned that her injuries were much more severe than I’d ever imagined. She had broken all of the ribs on her left side, broken her spine in several places, ruptured a major artery in her neck and sustained serious head trauma. Her brain is bleeding and swelling.
We rushed back to the hospital this morning and had a chance to see her. I fear it will be the last time I see her alive. The doctors and her mother explained to us that they only expect her to live another day or two. It was so heartbreaking to see her family there with her, especially her mother, who just sat by the bedside and cried and talked into her ear. Even if she does survive through the next few days, she will never be the same again. She will have severe brain damage and possibly be paralyzed from her spinal injuries.
I just got back home from the hospital, and now I sit looking at all of her things scattered around the house, wondering if they’ll ever be used by her again. A pair of shoes, a purse, even last night’s dishes. It all just seems so unreal, and so unfair.
It’s amazing how life can change in a fraction of a second. One minute you’re drunk with your friends outside the bar, the next you’re laying on the pavement as blood pours from your mouth.
I can only hope now that she’s in a place where she’s not suffering. I hope that she isn’t freaked out, and that she’s just asleep and having a really great dream or something. It’s unclear whether she’ll be able to survive these injuries, and I just hope that whatever happens, she is not scared or in pain.
Sorry to bring every down with this horrible story, but I felt the need to write this down and share it with someone. Hopefully it might remind someone how precious life is and that a simple slip can change everything.
 
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I am very very sorry for your loss. I hope that you, your friends, and her family can find some peace and come to terms with something so terrible. I hope that she will get better, and i will be keeping you, and her in my thoughts. Take care please.
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Sorry to hear man, that's very sad.
And whoever gave this a 1....wtf man?
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On June 29 2010 02:59 zOula... wrote:
Sorry to bring every down with this horrible story, but I felt the need to write this down and share it with someone. Hopefully it might remind someone how precious life is and that a simple slip can change everything.
I find it amazing how the world can disappear before you in that super slim margin between life and death. It's somehow unreal, thinking life can go out as quickly as the whiff of a candle.
RIP.
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This made me really sad. I'm sorry, man.
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Felt horrible reading this, hope she will be fine. Should have stopped her from climbing up though, someone who are drunk aren't in the condition of climbing a building.
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What pisses me off in these things is, we spend such a great amount of time learning about life and everything... At 21 you've been preparing for life for so long, and it can just get wasted within a second.
She probably had plans for the future and she'll never know they won't happen.
Fatality sucks......
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:-( Alcohol and courage don't mix. Don't blame yourself though.
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Just wanted to say that i fell very sad for you and her family. I wish the best to her and that she will survive and get better.
I am very sorry.
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Life is fragile, this you must be aware of. Hope you guys learned a lesson. I hope she get's well.
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intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
whenever i think about people dying i just feel this deep, massive resentment at how unfair it is. you seem like a really good friend, and i am glad she had people like you around her during her life. i'm not sure if it's a faux pas to wish for good luck in such a miserable situation, but the thing i hope for the most right now in the world is for her to be okay. take care.
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life is just a ride we have to enjoy to the fullest. That also means that we have to take care of it as much as we can but still take all good we can from it. aporvecha tu vida antes de que te sea arrebatada por una fugaz movida del destino.
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best wishes to your friend Jen, her family, and you
Be strong
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Prayer sent.
Best wishes... this world sucks.
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This is a cruel, senseless jape of life. I feel for you and I really hope that by some miracle she will be better, even given the chances. There's not much I can say, but know that even while we're prone to great anonymity on the Internet, this is a community that will lend you support and understanding.
Best wishes to both her and her family, and to you as well. For what tiny difference it makes, I will keep this in my thoughts.
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Same thing happened to a guy friend during a hang gliding accident, he only fell maybe 20-30feet but landed hard on his head.
Intracranial pressure = brains shifts = gg.
I remember feeling scared and sad at the same time, shocked at how even modern medicine is practically helpless against serious head injuries.
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Recently a friend of mine was cliff jumping into some water. He made the mistake of diving head first and hit his head on a rock. At first it wasn't looking good but he healed fairly quickly and only lost hearing in one ear, which is suppose to come back. Hopefully your friend can be just as lucky when she needs it the most.
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:'( i hope she gets better
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Oh god. 
It reminds me I lost a friend because of some drunk games during his anniversary. Brain is like a goddamn machine too complexe to understand, she may have a chance to be miraculously okay. I hope for you she'll be one of those people.
Anyway, she need you more than ever, best wishes for her, her family and you.
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Austin10831 Posts
I don't even know what to say really, in the face of such a sobering story. To be that close and intimate with the full weight of our mortality is an experience that will alter your outlook forever. I'm sorry for her family, as it's this type of horrible accident that makes the world seem so unjust. I'm sorry for you and your friends, that you had to experience this and that you will have to let go of this friend far too soon. Most of all, I'm hoping that one of those medical miracles we hear about, where someone recovers against impossible odds and defies medical wisdom, happens to your friend Jen.
If you find yourself getting really down about this, don't be afraid to reach out to a grief counsellor. If you're still in school, you can probably contact one there, or there will be one in your area.
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This really sucks man. I mean its one thing to read about someone who has suffered from something and go "that is quite unfortunate =\," but it is a completely different experience to have it happen to you. It just feels so unreal and so unfair. I hope that everything goes well! Best wishes to you and your friend!
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Such a sad story man, I hope the best for you and your friend. The spark of life, it can be lost so quickly, almost unfairly like you put it, but that's also how amazing it is.
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Best wishes to her and her friends/family.
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Sorry to hear about your loss. For what it's worth, these things happen, and will continue to happen. Sometimes you're lucky and get off with a light bruise from what could've been a life-threatening injury. Sometimes... you don't. It's hard having to cope with death at such a young age, but I think that you will come out of it a stronger person.
Best wishes.
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FREEAGLELAND26781 Posts
I'm very sorry for you and your friend, but I hope for the best. And while I do not pray, I will think of you and her tonight before I go to sleep.
This is a terrible, terrible thing to happen--yet another reason why I'm firmly set upon staying away from alcohol.
Everything is going to be alright. Just be strong. And if not, we're still all here for you.
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Good luck to her, you, and her family.
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I'm really sorry to hear about your friend. I can't imagine what it's like for a parent to go through what her parents are dealing with right now.
People spend so much time planning for the future, building the long-term flow-chart of their lives. But then it's the infinitesimal, split-second decisions that we make with complete disregard that can end up having the largest impact on our lives.
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very sad story
u have my condolences
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United States24613 Posts
Very sorry to hear this. From the sound of it she won't make a full physical recovery but most of all I pray she recovers mentally and enough physically that she can still live out an enjoyable life with her family and friends.
By the way what were you drinking and smoking?
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This is so sad
I'm so sorry for your loss.
I feel you, I really do.
My cousin got a similar idea of climbing to the roof to take picture when the sun was rising.
She died by falling 8 floors down to the asphalt.
Drinking can lead to the saddest of days when you least expect it in the cost of short lived happiness.
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Life can be very unpredictable. The best thing you can do is stay strong and be with family and friends. Hopefully your friend will be at peace no matter what happens as well.
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A friend of mine was out after clubbing and a heaving drink + drugs session and decided to attempt roof jumping.
He made numerous successful attempts but eventually failed and fell 3 stories and hit the floor.
He was alive for a while, but died shortly thereafter.
All I can say is although it is terrible what happened to her, be glad she is still alive.
When my friend was doing the roof jumping other people were actually filming him doing it... I don't think these people will condone this sort of idiotic behaviour in the future.
I don't think the next time a drunk friend of yours says they will go climb the roof you will take it so lightly, I just think it's sad that something like this has to happen before people stop acting stupid.
I am saddened by this story and wish her all the best, and I hope you can come to terms with what you have witnessed, I know this is not what you wanted.
edit:
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Thank you so much for the kind words everybody. Reading this thread tonight really lifted my spirits some. I wanted to post a quick update to say that Jen did not make it. She stabalized today for several hours, but the pressure in head continued to rise after that. They tried to drill holes to relieve the pressure but it didnt work. She was taken off of life support this evening.
Thanks again everybody, this community is pretty special.
RIP Jen
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On June 29 2010 13:20 zOula... wrote:
Thank you so much for the kind words everybody. Reading this thread tonight really lifted my spirits some. I wanted to post a quick update to say that Jen did not make it. She stabalized today for several hours, but the pressure in head continued to rise after that. They tried to drill holes to relieve the pressure but it didnt work. She was taken off of life support this evening.
Thanks again everybody, this community is pretty special.
RIP Jen
Well snap, that really took a turn for the worse.
RIP.
Guess the lesson to be learned is: when your drunk, sit down.
Hang in there.
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/edit:
i posted before reading the 2nd page ...
RIP Jen.
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Really sad, life really is unfair sometimes
RIP
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Thanks to warn us. Very sad she can't make it.
Life can really be a bitch sometimes.
Don't stay alone, hang out with your friends, for speaking/cleaning your mind/just have some people who can support you.
RIP Jen
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Lots of love zOula
RIP Jen
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that's terrible... my condolences, zoula.
reality can sometimes be so harsh to us fragile beings, make a tiny mistake in an unfortunate situation and you're gone. it should also remind us that alcohol plus high spirits can lead to disastrous ends.
it's just enormously sad that she died because of such a stupid, innocent, "let's have some fun" situation. really unnecessary.
rest in peace.
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A month ago a guy (21 years old) decided to climb the library in my city(http://www.ark123.be/starnet/leuven/images/bib.jpg). He climbed VERY high and he was almost at the roof. He tried to pull himself up at an arrow of a golden angel but the arrow broke and he felt down and died. If someone tries to climb a building then try to convince him/her to not do it. It's so sad to see people dying at such a young age.
My condolences.
RIP
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This makes me so sad, I can see how bad this must've hurt you, but you are a truly good friend and that is the best you could've done really.
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My condolances are all I can give you. I lost a very close friend last newyears eve who was hit by a car (driver luckily not drunk or anything, just didn't see him somehow with all the fireworks going up).
Everybody has a different reaction to such a loss of a close friend. Like somebody already mentioned don't be afraid to seek the help of a grieving couselor if you feel the need. Especially since you saw her fall and lay there on the ground the acceptance of this can be very hard. Don't be afraid to let your feelings run free as it can really help in the grieving proces (but also don't allow yourself to wallow in the grief as this is counter productive as it prevents you from picking up your life).
What really helped me when my friend died was that all friends came together in the church he and me belonged to the evening he died and just sat there talking and ocasionnally singing.
You will most likely never really forget that night but you have to somehow give it a place in your life so that you can move on.
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konadora
Singapore66117 Posts
just..wow.
really sorry to her family and friends, and i hope nothing like this happens to you or your friends either sucks for something like this to happen, especially to a close friend. i can't imagine how terrible i'll feel if the same thing happened to my close friends. hope you're okay.
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Just read it today. R.I.P.
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I'm really sorry to hear this. I hope you (OP) is ok, I can't imagine how horrible one must feel to witness such a disaster first hand and to be one of your close friends. I hope you are ok as well as to the family and friends.
RIP
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I'm so, so sorry to hear this. Deepest condolences to you, OP.
Sending good vibes your way. Hang in there.
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Truly depressing. I hope you and your friends can deal with it in time and move on with your lives healthily.
Never forget her though, that is the only way to minimize the damage
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This is very saddening to hear. I have to say though, did no one try to stop your intoxicated friend from climbing the building? Even doing so while sober is dangerous in itself...
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Sorry for the loss
It always sucks having to hear about people dying in these freak accidents. My cousin actually had a similar experience and was rushed to a hospital, but he was lucky enough that the drop wasn't as high or severe, and he is fine today.
Hopefully people reading this blog will realize that drinking and heights aren't a good combo.
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Sorry for your loss.
There was a similar incident at my university where a student attempted to jump from one balcony to another while drunk and fell to his death. I don't think people should drink if they don't have self-control.
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The community is with you and Jen, any time a death like this happens it hurts everybody.
RIP Jen
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United States1654 Posts
My condolences, Zoula. This was such a sad story to read.
I shared a similar experience in that my friend two years ago fell off a balcony while drinking and was unable to pull through. I wish I could have been there with him before he died, but I was only told about his accident hours after he had already passed away in the hospital, so the news came out of the blue and totally shocked me.
Don't be afraid of venting out your feelings, and stick close to your friends. These next few weeks will be hard, but stay strong and pull through.
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I haven't ever experienced the grief of someone close to me dying. I hope i'm prepared for it when I do. Your friend was too young, i'm sorry. may she rest in peace.
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This is a very sad story. I wish you, Jen, and her family the very best.
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Condolecences to everyone involved. Truly a tragic incident.
RIP Jen
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United States10774 Posts
Oh man, this is very sad. Best wishes to Jen, her family and friends. Hang in there man.
RIP
It's just so disheartening to read stories like this. How fast life can come and go...it's just really too cruel.
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Oh my god, that is so horrible. Reading this was very saddening, but also a very good reminder of the sanctity of human life and how we should value what we all share.
I sincerely hope that Jen is in a better place now, and that you get through this.
Please stay strong!
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thedeadhaji
39489 Posts
I appreciate you sharing this with us, as I will hopefully be able to remember this anecdote whenever I am having fun and feel a bit heroic myself.
On June 29 2010 03:13 ItsYoungLee wrote:
:-( Alcohol and courage don't mix. Don't blame yourself though.
I'll take this with me.
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sigh.. im so sorry to hear this man
i hope things turn out for the best for your friend
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This is just horrible.. I feel so sorry for you and your friend and her family.
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Such a shame. I'm sorry for you and your loss, hopefully you won't take this too hard. With luck you're friend will be as you said, just having a good dream.
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EPT
