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Two hours ago, there was a fight at the dinner table. I myself skipped dinner but apparently there was something going around with my mom, dad, and partially my sister. So basically, my dad wanted to have extra food on the table WHILE they were eating so he told my mom to do so. My mom said "no" because they were already eating but my dad threw a fit and apparently threw the chopstick. My sister was like "Hey dad, what's your problem" in a joking manner but my dad took it seriously. This was weird because my sister and my dad joke around A LOT. My dad was like "What is my problem, I have no problems" starts yelling and my mom and sister literally have nothing to say and were extremely pissed.
So now everyone is quiet and doesn't talk to each other. My dad went to the golf range to relieve some stress while my mom stayed home. I asked her what happened and she told me (what I just wrote above, basically). Our dad basically has this extremely terrible habit - whatever he doesn't like eating, he will start to complain. Even if it's one little flaw. "Too salty." "It tastes bad." "Why didn't you add this?" "Too spicy." You get the idea...
Like seriously what the fuck? I've eaten food made by other mom and seriously I can tell you my mom is really good at cooking. But nope, if the food she makes does not meet his expectations, you might as well call it trash. What is even worse is that she makes A LOT of food, just because my dad wants them. This ain't your fucking personal restaurant. He just doesn't know that he lives a pretty damn luxurious life in terms of eating food. My uncle once went on a business trip and came back home to find a note saying from my aunt: "I have a lunch meeting so I got some take out, eat it and I'll see you home!" And he said it was totally fine. Oh man, if it were my dad hell would break loose. To him, he'd have to have a feast in order to be content. Sometimes I feel so bad for my mom because she takes my dad's comments as a joke but I know for a fact she gets irked by them. So fucking childish.
Anyways let's talk a little about my mom. She is just a housewife but she is really hardworking. My mom was once a piano teacher but after coming to USA, pretty much stopped teaching although she does play on a daily basis. Three years ago, she picked up the organ and volunteered for the church. She became even more serious about it and learned how to use the pedals, which apparently is extremely hard. Yup, all self-taught. And I really am proud of what she has done. She makes music for mass sound REALLY nice and her hard work really paid off. When we went to Korea two years ago, she even got taught from a prominent organ professor/teacher and improved her skills tremendously.
Too bad my dad doesn't give a fuck. Why? Well my mom right now is 47 years old. As you get older your body conditions get worse. And what would the most important body part be when playing the Organ? The eyes - without the ability to see you can't play the organ at all. Today she told me that she wants to go to Korea one more time to learn and expand her skills. She tells me she practiced so much (almost everyday except Saturdays) at the church that there is nothing more she can do to improve. I know her love for playing the organ is really passionate and sincere. While telling me this, she also cried which made me pretty sad. I don't know why my dad won't send her to Korea. It's either due to two reasons: a) he is stingy or b) We went to Korea for three months and without my mom his life was a lot harder (cooking, taking care of house), etc and he doesn't want her to leave.
Hell if I were him I would have sent my wife just because it would be worth it in my opinion. My mom tells me that one of her friends really wanted to do art and is as old as her. Her husband let her do it because if she really wanted to, why not? Also since she ages (just like everyone else), she should do it before it's too late.
So I am going to do whatever it takes to get my mom to Korea by next year. I have a part time job lined up for me and I am going to use most of that money for my mom. I want to see her happy but some inconsiderate jerk won't make that happen. Granted, my dad can make my mom happy at times, but she gets so much shit from my dad I sometimes wonder why there was no divorce.
So I will do whatever it takes to make her dream come true because I know she loves the organ and I want to see her happy. :I
 
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nice thing to do for ur mom
jus a question, if ur dad won't let ur mom go cuz of reason (B), whut would be the difference even if u provided the money? wouldn't he still make her stay regardless of whether the financial part was met
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you, sir, are a fucking hero
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I would have slapped the crap out of him. No one throws anything at anyone else in my house.
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My mother lives in a similar situation, in fact your dad's quotes at the dinner table were disturbing for me to read because I feel like I am back home hearing them... she had a bit more outward pride so she would argue back, it was terrible...I'm at uni now and everytime i visit home I see her as a shadow of a person, an empty shell...it kills me inside.
Also not to rat on our cultures but you can't escape the fact that there is some relevance to the fact that the intrinsically chauvinistic cultures of Asia tend to breed such marriages.
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yo how will this go down
maybe your dad might seriously bust a cap when he finds out about this plan
also, he might wonder where you got the cash, maybe accuse you of stealing from him
shits about to get real
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GL
My parents went through something similar back in the day... and just like nath said as well... It's very saddening.
I can definitely relate, and your mom deserves to be doing whatever she wants. GL
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On May 26 2010 10:02 hrmM wrote:
nice thing to do for ur mom
jus a question, if ur dad won't let ur mom go cuz of reason (B), whut would be the difference even if u provided the money? wouldn't he still make her stay regardless of whether the financial part was met
This and for point A the same argument. How are you going to solve that?
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On May 26 2010 10:09 THE_DOMINATOR wrote:
I would have slapped the crap out of him. No one throws anything at anyone else in my house.
Except it was probably the dad's house
Well there is this respecting elders, especially your parents, in Korean culture (and other asian cultures too probably)
I would definitely not be able to speak out against my dad like that, unless the situation really calls for it
It is really sad though 
Hope you can make enough money for this to happen
good luck~
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On May 26 2010 10:16 JSH wrote:Show nested quote +On May 26 2010 10:09 THE_DOMINATOR wrote:
I would have slapped the crap out of him. No one throws anything at anyone else in my house. Except it was probably the dad's house Well there is this respecting elders, especially your parents, in Korean culture (and other asian cultures too probably) I would definitely not be able to speak out against my dad like that, unless the situation really calls for it It is really sad though Hope you can make enough money for this to happen good luck~
this is precisely the reason I am also scared for the OP. When dad finds out about this, as someone said, shits going to get real. HUGE blow to his ego, hes gonna get ragemode...-.-
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I hope all of your dreams come true 
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@Nal_rAwr: He knows I have a job. It's my money, I can do whatever the fuck I want.
The case is probably A because he is pretty cheap when it comes to with money. When my dad finds out I know that nothing will happen. As I said, it's MY fucking money. I do what I want and I made my choice. No one is stopping me lol. And if he does get mad and try to hurt me, what benefit does that do to him? It will only fuck him over.
Speaking of him not spending money my mom isn't the type of person who doesn't spend money either so she is doing him a favor. A lot of Korean moms I know play golf on a daily basis. Or go shopping and buy expensive stuff. Or go out to eat. That's not the case with my mom. She even does the yardwork for the house. Yeah, instead of calling people to mow our lawn and take care of the house, her 100 pound body does most of the work. Do you know how much money is saved...? I feel so bad whenever I find out she mows the lawn and stuff so I do it for her since I am back from school. >_>
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konadora
Singapore66365 Posts
You're such a filial son, I've seen many others who don't really give a shit about their parents.
All the best and good luck in trying to convince your dad to let your mom go though, because it's probably not the monetary issue. The thought of it is really sweet of you though.
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you're a damn good kid man
hope that works out for you. make a bank account just to save for your plan. makes it a lot easier to save when you actually see what you've accumulated. good luck
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This is my first post, post self-requested ban.
You sir, are the fucking man.
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On May 26 2010 10:03 Binky1842 wrote:
you, sir, are a fucking hero
This, again and again.
Good luck, man. Hopefully it was reason A listed above, because as nath said, he might ragemode if it's reason B. I sincerely wish you the best of luck on this one.
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These moments when you really love one of your parents and appreciate them are really great. Sounds like you're really motivated, so good luck!!!
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EPT
