Poptarts, a guide for the hungry and the scientific.
Please note that I fail with uploading images so I cannot upload them onto my guide. T_T
[INTRO]
This is a guide I thought I should write for all those poor hungry gamers out there who eat poptarts for dinner while cocking a gun to their head as they realize they're about to play another ZvZ T_T. It explains the process of making a poptart if full detail ensuring you don't fuck anything up. I do not ask for anything in return for this masterpiece of a guide, all I ask is that you eat more poptarts.
[/INTO]
[Guide]
[Process]
The process of making a poptart is quite complex that requires patience as well as money to replace the abomination that you will repeatably make until you master the skill of tart.
[MATERIALS]
1.Poptarts - I will be using Chocolate Chip for this guide. 2. Toaster - One that allows you to set the time in order to cook your poptart. 3. Scissors - In case your are handicapped or really really baked. 4. Trash - That rapper needs to go somewhere. 5. Plate - I use glass as because of design and smoothness of the food.
[/MATERIALS]
[STEPS]
1. Open your poptart box by ripping the top off.
2. Reach in and takeout the poptart package you would like to open.
3. Using your fingers or scissors cut/rip the package and gently remove the plastic from the poptart.
4. Place the poptarts into your toaster one by one ensuring you do not hit the sides or get any black chard residue stuff that would make your poptart :SICK: .
[cross]5.[/cross] So this one time at sand water me and my buddies were sharing a spliff when all of a sudden these 3 hot chicks were like "can we have some? and my dubbies and I were like NFW ^(0_o)^ - sry...flashback...
[MissingPic][/MissingPic]
5. Adjust your timer on the toaster to 2:30 minutes. If your toaster has anymore settings other then how long to toast, then your rich and therefor a nontart. Please remove yourself from my guide by holding your left ALT key and taping F4.
6. Wait. That is all. You must wait 2:30 minutes until your poptarts are ready to go. In this time you can do a number of things to pass the time. Take a hit. Text a friend. Take a piss. Wipe your dish. Clean your bong. Change your song. Listen to Purple Haze. Watch t.v. Eat chocolate ice cream. Type "lol brb guys making tarts" to your buddies online and make them jealous and /ignore you for the next week. Pray to Jesus...lol . Feed your cat. Kick your cat. Eat your cat. Try to light your spliff with the toaster without dropping it and losing a 2gram joint.
7. As soon as the poptarts pop you must catch them in in mid air and place them on your glass plate. The poptarts lose heat no matter how long they stay in the toaster so you must eat them very fast for best results as they do not enjoy the air we breathe and will suck the more they stay out in the open.
8. Check the poptart by breaking your poptarts top off so you can clearly see the chocolate. If it is a black caviar then you have done a good job. This takes years and pounds of weed to master.
9. Consume your poptart in anyway you seam fit to satisfy even the most epic of nonnoms
10. Write your experience by posting and showing your poor gamer pride!
[/Steps]
If you fail to understand any of these rules be sure to contact your local dealer for some help.
[/Process]
And thus concludes my guide on making poptarts for the hungry and the nerdy.
Pop Tarts are overrated anyways. The only good part is the goo inside, and the hard icing on the outside. the breading, if you can call it that, is just super bad for you garbage that tastes shitty by itself. Imo buy turnovers with glazing, they are so bomb.
Toaster strudels are indeed better, but they require too much effort. You have to deal with a microwave, and then squeezing the packet. I can't remember the last time I bothered to use a toaster for a pop-tart, I've just been eating them raw.
P.S. Brown sugar cinnamon is by far the best flavor.
Don't use a plate that's too smooth! Poptarts can be slippery, and practically treacherous on a small glass plate. Something with a little bit of roughness, like a paper plate can be desirable.
Also who the fuck eats non-fruit poptarts? If you want chocolate, you put nutella on some bread.
Truthfully, when I eat the Pop Tarts without microwaving or toasting... It seems like the dough or bread is similar to eating hard tack, it takes forever to disgust. And the smores Pop-Tart is fucking nasty.
On March 31 2010 19:56 Waxangel wrote: Lemme add my own poptart tips
Don't use a plate that's too smooth! Poptarts can be slippery, and practically treacherous on a small glass plate. Something with a little bit of roughness, like a paper plate can be desirable.
Also who the fuck eats non-fruit poptarts? If you want chocolate, you put nutella on some bread.
why would anyone use a plate to eat a pop tart. pop tarts are "vending machine food" and require no plate
EPT
![[image loading]](http://www.savingwithshellie.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/09/ToasterStrudel.jpg)
