• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 08:28
CEST 14:28
KST 21:28
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL22] Ro16 Preview: Rough Waters8[ASL22] Ro24 Preview: Siren's Call8[ASL22] Ro24 Preview: Summer's End9Serral wins HomeStory Cup 2915Serral wins Maestros of the Game 244
Community News
Official StarCraft website teases new content ahead of BlizzCon?91Stellar Fest TWO the Moon (Dec 16-20)9Weekly Cups (August 24-30): Patches' balance mod takes over3New 3v3 BGH Ladder (and more) on ShieldBattery!45Weekly Cups (August 17-23): Zerg dominate the week6
StarCraft 2
General
SC4ALL: II Winner Will Earn a Spot at HSC 30! Balance hotfix patch 5.0.16b (July 16) Nexon wins bid to develop StarCraft IP content, distribute Overwatch mobile game Weekly Cups (August 24-30): Patches' balance mod takes over September World Ranking: herO leads, Serral climbs
Tourneys
2026 GSTL Announcement Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament Stellar Fest TWO the Moon (Dec 16-20) IntoTheTV X SOOP SC2 League : Weekly & Monthly SC2 INu's Battles#20 [BO.9]
Strategy
[G] Having the right mentality to improve
Custom Maps
Nexus Wars 2021 GUIDE [M] (2) Industrial Park
External Content
Mutation # 542 The Ascended Mutation # 541 Binary Choice The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 540 Dodge This
Brood War
General
Official StarCraft website teases new content ahead of BlizzCon? Pros React To: Calm's Big Brain Play Vs Mini New 3v3 BGH Ladder (and more) on ShieldBattery! [ASL22] Ro16 Preview: Rough Waters BW General Discussion
Tourneys
[ASL22] Ro16 Group A [ASL22] Ro24 Group F [Megathread] Daily Proleagues Brood War in Budapest ! WORTEX 2026 BW Finals
Strategy
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Odyssey Mineral Stack Saturation Replay Review Process - What do you do? Game Theory for Starcraft
Other Games
General Games
Nintendo Switch Thread Diablo IV EVE Corporation [Maplestory Hardcore] Let's Play~!! General RTS Discussion Thread
Dota 2
Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
[TL LoL EUW IHs] Teemo shall perish TSM pausing esports and CLG Dead
Heroes of the Storm
Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Power Rank TL Mafia Community Thread NeO.D_StephenKing vs This Guy From 1 Million Dance
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread UK Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread Artificial Intelligence Thread Things Aren’t Peaceful in Palestine
Fan Clubs
MarineLorD Fan Club The Creator Fan Club The ShoWTimE Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
Movie Discussion! Anime Discussion Thread
Sports
Football (Soccer) Thread TeamLiquid Health and Fitness Initiative For 2023 MLB/Baseball 2023 NBA General Discussion
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
Computer Build, Upgrade & Buying Resource Thread
TL Community
The Automated Ban List Northern Ireland Global Starcraft
Blogs
F* the Children and Get Off …
TrAiDoS
Dreaming of BW patches (mod…
c3rberUs
Regacy Esports: The Bh…
regacyesports
LOCKPICKING NOOB
LUCKY_NOOB
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 7980 users

[G] Poptarts a guide.

Blogs > zealing
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
zealing
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Canada806 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-03-31 06:53:50
March 31 2010 06:42 GMT
#1
Poptarts, a guide for the hungry and the scientific.

Please note that I fail with uploading images so I cannot upload them onto my guide. T_T

[INTRO]

This is a guide I thought I should write for all those poor hungry gamers out there who eat poptarts for dinner while cocking a gun to their head as they realize they're about to play another ZvZ T_T.
It explains the process of making a poptart if full detail ensuring you don't fuck anything up.
I do not ask for anything in return for this masterpiece of a guide, all I ask is that you eat more poptarts.

[/INTO]

[Guide]

[Process]

The process of making a poptart is quite complex that requires patience as well as money
to replace the abomination that you will repeatably make until you master the skill of tart.

[MATERIALS]

1.Poptarts - I will be using Chocolate Chip for this guide.
2. Toaster - One that allows you to set the time in order to cook your poptart.
3. Scissors - In case your are handicapped or really really baked.
4. Trash - That rapper needs to go somewhere.
5. Plate - I use glass as because of design and smoothness of the food.

[/MATERIALS]

[STEPS]

1. Open your poptart box by ripping the top off.

2. Reach in and takeout the poptart package you would like to open.

3. Using your fingers or scissors cut/rip the package and gently remove the plastic from the poptart.

4. Place the poptarts into your toaster one by one ensuring you do not hit the sides or get any black chard residue stuff that would make your poptart :SICK: .

[cross]5.[/cross] So this one time at sand water me and my buddies were sharing a spliff when all of a sudden these 3 hot chicks were like "can we have some? and my dubbies and I were like NFW ^(0_o)^
- sry...flashback...

[MissingPic][/MissingPic]

5. Adjust your timer on the toaster to 2:30 minutes. If your toaster has anymore settings other then how long to toast, then your rich and therefor a nontart. Please remove yourself from my guide by holding your left ALT key and taping F4.

6. Wait. That is all. You must wait 2:30 minutes until your poptarts are ready to go. In this time you can do a number of things to pass the time. Take a hit. Text a friend. Take a piss. Wipe your dish. Clean your bong. Change your song. Listen to Purple Haze. Watch t.v. Eat chocolate ice cream. Type "lol brb guys making tarts" to your buddies online and make them jealous and /ignore you for the next week. Pray to Jesus...lol . Feed your cat. Kick your cat. Eat your cat. Try to light your spliff with the toaster without dropping it and losing a 2gram joint.

7. As soon as the poptarts pop you must catch them in in mid air and place them on your glass plate. The poptarts lose heat no matter how long they stay in the toaster so you must eat them very fast for best results as they do not enjoy the air we breathe and will suck the more they stay out in the open.

8. Check the poptart by breaking your poptarts top off so you can clearly see the chocolate. If it is a black caviar then you have done a good job. This takes years and pounds of weed to master.

9. Consume your poptart in anyway you seam fit to satisfy even the most epic of nonnoms

10. Write your experience by posting and showing your poor gamer pride!

[/Steps]

If you fail to understand any of these rules be sure to contact your local dealer for some help.

[/Process]

And thus concludes my guide on making poptarts for the hungry and the nerdy.

[/Guide]

**
Think you got lag? It took Jesus 3 days to respawn.
mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5657 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-03-31 06:47:20
March 31 2010 06:46 GMT
#2


this isnt me, but he's my fave

oh the video's about poptarts. the title doesnt say that T_T
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
lazz
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Australia3119 Posts
March 31 2010 06:49 GMT
#3
5/5 very useful and insightful
n.DieJokes
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States3443 Posts
March 31 2010 06:50 GMT
#4
Did you.... just write a guide about putting poptarts in the toaster.... I approve
MyLove + Your Love= Supa Love
Disregard
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
China10252 Posts
March 31 2010 06:50 GMT
#5
I dont really like Pop Tarts, but I usually just eat it out of the box if I want some. Is that wrong? D:
"If I had to take a drug in order to be free, I'm screwed. Freedom exists in the mind, otherwise it doesn't exist."
lazz
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Australia3119 Posts
March 31 2010 06:52 GMT
#6
Shit I hate australia i want some poptarts
mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5657 Posts
March 31 2010 06:52 GMT
#7
On March 31 2010 15:52 lazz wrote:
Shit I hate australia i want some poptarts


LOL you dont have poptarts???
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
Divinek
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
Canada4045 Posts
March 31 2010 06:52 GMT
#8
On March 31 2010 15:50 Disregard wrote:
I dont really like Pop Tarts, but I usually just eat it out of the box if I want some. Is that wrong? D:

god yes, you're depriving yourself of too much goodness
Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.
Oh goodness me, FOX tv where do you get your sight? Can't you keep track, the puck is black. That's why the ice is white.
lazz
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Australia3119 Posts
March 31 2010 06:53 GMT
#9
On March 31 2010 15:52 mOnion wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 31 2010 15:52 lazz wrote:
Shit I hate australia i want some poptarts


LOL you dont have poptarts???

Havent seen any in the 12 or whatever years ive lived here. its' fucking bullshit
Disregard
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
China10252 Posts
March 31 2010 06:54 GMT
#10
On March 31 2010 15:53 lazz wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 31 2010 15:52 mOnion wrote:
On March 31 2010 15:52 lazz wrote:
Shit I hate australia i want some poptarts


LOL you dont have poptarts???

Havent seen any in the 12 or whatever years ive lived here. its' fucking bullshit


Go for Toaster Strudels instead.
"If I had to take a drug in order to be free, I'm screwed. Freedom exists in the mind, otherwise it doesn't exist."
VTArlock
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States1763 Posts
March 31 2010 06:59 GMT
#11
On March 31 2010 15:53 lazz wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 31 2010 15:52 mOnion wrote:
On March 31 2010 15:52 lazz wrote:
Shit I hate australia i want some poptarts


LOL you dont have poptarts???

Havent seen any in the 12 or whatever years ive lived here. its' fucking bullshit


I'm going to pray for austrailia to get pop-tarts just for you! Thats ridiculous. I just finished a set of "smores"
Why?
mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5657 Posts
March 31 2010 07:01 GMT
#12
On March 31 2010 15:59 TheComeback wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 31 2010 15:53 lazz wrote:
On March 31 2010 15:52 mOnion wrote:
On March 31 2010 15:52 lazz wrote:
Shit I hate australia i want some poptarts


LOL you dont have poptarts???

Havent seen any in the 12 or whatever years ive lived here. its' fucking bullshit


I'm going to pray for austrailia to get pop-tarts just for you! Thats ridiculous. I just finished a set of "smores"


OH GAWD the smores so good >_<

also who da fawk mentioned toaster poo-dels in here! gtfoooooo
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
KwarK
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States44276 Posts
March 31 2010 07:04 GMT
#13
On March 31 2010 15:52 mOnion wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 31 2010 15:52 lazz wrote:
Shit I hate australia i want some poptarts


LOL you dont have poptarts???

We don't either.
ModeratorThe angels have the phone box
mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5657 Posts
March 31 2010 07:05 GMT
#14
On March 31 2010 16:04 KwarK wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 31 2010 15:52 mOnion wrote:
On March 31 2010 15:52 lazz wrote:
Shit I hate australia i want some poptarts


LOL you dont have poptarts???

We don't either.


what happened to your paintbrush
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
LeperKahn
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Romania1852 Posts
March 31 2010 07:12 GMT
#15
Thanks man... I really needed this I was just too afraid to ask anyone. <.<
+ Show Spoiler +
mOnion that guy was really funny!
CJ Entusman #14 • http://soundcloud.com/discodinosaur • https://discosaur.bandcamp.com/
zalcion
Profile Joined April 2009
Australia40 Posts
March 31 2010 07:18 GMT
#16
On March 31 2010 15:53 lazz wrote:
Show nested quote +
On March 31 2010 15:52 mOnion wrote:
On March 31 2010 15:52 lazz wrote:
Shit I hate australia i want some poptarts


LOL you dont have poptarts???

Havent seen any in the 12 or whatever years ive lived here. its' fucking bullshit


they stopped selling them here like 5 years ago. you can still get them from american import stores, but they're fkn expensive
Disregard
Profile Blog Joined March 2007
China10252 Posts
March 31 2010 07:20 GMT
#17
Pop Tarts as a luxury, I cant imagine that. "I would like to import some Pop Tarts."
"If I had to take a drug in order to be free, I'm screwed. Freedom exists in the mind, otherwise it doesn't exist."
CharlieMurphy
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
United States22895 Posts
March 31 2010 07:20 GMT
#18
Pop Tarts are overrated anyways. The only good part is the goo inside, and the hard icing on the outside. the breading, if you can call it that, is just super bad for you garbage that tastes shitty by itself.
Imo buy turnovers with glazing, they are so bomb.
..and then I would, ya know, check em'. (Aka SpoR)
SoLaR[i.C]
Profile Blog Joined August 2003
United States2969 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-03-31 07:53:38
March 31 2010 07:51 GMT
#19
Charlie is right.

These are about 986543x better than poptarts. Toaster oven is an absolute necessity for these though.

[image loading]

mOnion
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States5657 Posts
March 31 2010 07:59 GMT
#20
On March 31 2010 16:51 SoLaR[i.C] wrote:
Charlie is right.

These are about 986543x better than poptarts. Toaster oven is an absolute necessity for these though.

[image loading]



OKAY YOU SEE THAT???

see how the icing is covering roughly 30% of the strudel but still has plenty of icing left in the packet?

that is BULLCRAP >_<

its like AN bite of icing.
☆★☆ 7486!!! Join the Ban mOnion Anti-Trolling Initiative! - Caller | "on a scale of machine to 10, how bad is that Zerg?" - LZgamer | you are the new tl.net bonjwa monion, congrats - Rekrul | "Cheeseburgers dynamite lilacs" - Chill
1 2 Next All
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
WardiTV Weekly
11:00
#103
IntoTheiNu 1085
WardiTV634
OGKoka 285
Rex115
Liquipedia
Afreeca Starleague
10:00
Ro16, Group A
Soma vs Shuttle
BeSt vs Rush
Afreeca ASL 18025
StarCastTV_EN317
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
Lowko368
OGKoka 285
Rex 115
SHIN 26
StarCraft: Brood War
Britney 23553
Calm 16573
Bisu 9322
EffOrt 1287
Mini 915
Pusan 609
Light 423
Soulkey 322
Zeus 282
Stork 224
[ Show more ]
Barracks 174
Snow 126
Hyun 95
Larva 86
hero 80
ToSsGirL 79
Mong 76
PianO 70
Free 61
Sharp 53
Bale 46
soO 45
Sea.KH 37
Sexy 36
Terrorterran 35
JYJ 31
NotJumperer 22
SilentControl 17
JulyZerg 13
Sacsri 13
scan(afreeca) 12
Noble 10
Icarus 9
Dota 2
BananaSlamJamma358
Fuzer 100
qojqva99
Counter-Strike
olofmeister1826
shoxiejesuss729
edward296
kRYSTAL_38
Other Games
singsing2607
B2W.Neo817
crisheroes382
hiko305
byalli294
XaKoH 272
Liquid`LucifroN174
ArmadaUGS23
Organizations
Other Games
gamesdonequick1123
StarCraft: Brood War
UltimateBattle 360
Other Games
BasetradeTV74
[ Show 9 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• Migwel
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Other Games
• WagamamaTV369
Upcoming Events
Monday Night Weeklies
3h 32m
Afreeca Starleague
21h 32m
Leta vs ggaemo
Jaedong vs Queen
GSL
22h 32m
PiGosaur Cup
1d 11h
Kung Fu Cup
1d 22h
Replay Cast
2 days
The PondCast
2 days
KCM Race Survival
2 days
Escore
3 days
IntoTheTV X SOOP
3 days
[ Show More ]
CranKy Ducklings
4 days
Sparkling Tuna Cup
5 days
Shopify Rebellion Sundays
6 days
Spirit vs Mixu
Clem vs TBD
RSL Revival
6 days
Replay Cast
6 days
Afreeca Starleague
6 days
WardiTV Weekly
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-09-02
PiG Sty Festival 8.0
Big Dog Cup 2026 Div 1

Ongoing

KCM Race Survival 2026 Season 3
K-JUNGMAN
ASL Season 22
Super Anchor Qualifying S3
CSL 2026 AUTUMN (S22)
Acropolis #5
Acropolis #5 - TRS
RSL Revival: Season 6
Calamity Invitational
BLAST Open Fall 2026
Esports World Cup 2026
Esports World Cup 2026: LCQ
BLAST Bounty Summer 2026
BLAST Bounty Summer Qual
Stake Ranked Episode 3
XSE Pro League 2026

Upcoming

Escore Tournament S3: King of Kings
Acropolis #5 - GSA
Blizzard Classic Cup 2026
Acropolis #5 - GSB
Acropolis #5 - GSC
SC4ALL II: Brood War
HSC XXX
Stellar Fest 2: Lunar Cup
SC4ALL II: StarCraft II
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
RSL Offline Finals
Stake Ranked Episode 6
BLAST Rivals Fall 2026
IEM Beijing 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 5
PGL Masters Bucharest 2026
1win Private Club #2
Thunderpick World Champ. '26
ESL Pro League Season 24
Stake Ranked Episode 4
1win Private Club #1
Logitech G Play Connect 2026
SL StarSeries Fall 2026
FISSURE Playground #3
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.