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emo blog mk IV

Blogs > WhiteNights
Post a Reply
1 2 Next All
WhiteNights
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States252 Posts
February 13 2010 19:03 GMT
#1
Apparently all I do is make life miserable for everyone around me, my parents first and foremost.

One day I will man up, kill myself, and make the world a better place.

You see this way instead of being miserable for years and years, they will be sad for a few months and then get over it.

No, it's not happening anytime soon, don't call the cops.

***
May your sky be always clear, may your smile be always bright, and may you be forever blessed for that moment of happiness which you gave to another lonely and grateful heart!
k20a
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada412 Posts
February 13 2010 19:06 GMT
#2
gaiaonline is that way -->
"It's like that one time Luke Skywalker threw the ring in to Mordor to kill Hitler, or something" - Tasteless
Mastermind
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Canada7096 Posts
February 13 2010 19:07 GMT
#3
If you want to man up then you should work on your life, not kill yourself. There is nothing manly about ending your own life.
Zurles
Profile Joined February 2009
United Kingdom1659 Posts
February 13 2010 19:08 GMT
#4
"One day I will man up, kill myself"

contradiction.
WhiteNights
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States252 Posts
February 13 2010 19:12 GMT
#5
The only reason I have not killed myself yet is because I am a coward.
May your sky be always clear, may your smile be always bright, and may you be forever blessed for that moment of happiness which you gave to another lonely and grateful heart!
N3rV[Green]
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States1935 Posts
February 13 2010 19:13 GMT
#6
This world is far too large, with far too many things to see and people to meet. Also remember that honestly, if you live in the states and think your life is miserable(which it can be, I feel a a fat bowl would do wonders for you though) just think about the rest of the world and how you're problems compare to the difficulties faced by African's or people in Haiti or such.

Life is too grand to end early friend.
Never fear the darkness, Bran. The strongest trees are rooted in the dark places of the earth. Darkness will be your cloak, your shield, your mother's milk. Darkness will make you strong.
Husky
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States3362 Posts
February 13 2010 19:43 GMT
#7
Posting a blog about it on TL is half the battle.
Commentaries: youtube.com/HuskyStarcraft
7mk
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Germany10157 Posts
February 13 2010 19:44 GMT
#8
On February 14 2010 04:03 WhiteNights wrote:
You see this way instead of being miserable for years and years, they will be sad for a few months and then get over it.


That is such bullshit.
Outliving your child is already pretty much the most painful thing there is ever.
If the reason for that is that your child killed yourself then your gonna blame yourself for the rest of your life. They're not gonna "be sad for a few months and then get over it."

Btw if youre gonna post like this, dont expect any real advice, your blog has way too little content for anyone to give you any good advice.
But I'll still say that, if you wanna make your parents feel better, get your shit together and lead a happy life, it will make your parents happy too.
beep boop
The6357
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
United States1268 Posts
February 13 2010 20:13 GMT
#9
what's your problem...man up already...
2010 worldcup!! corea fighting!!!
wo0py
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
Netherlands922 Posts
February 13 2010 20:14 GMT
#10
You are not a coward for not killing yourself. You are a coward for not doing the things that will make your life better.

Indeed, you have to man up. Man up and go work on the problems you might have and making your talents work for you.
We shouldnt recreate anger of the non-virtual world
Manit0u
Profile Blog Joined August 2004
Poland17692 Posts
February 13 2010 20:40 GMT
#11
On February 14 2010 04:03 WhiteNights wrote:
Apparently all I do is make life miserable for everyone around me


You make our lives miserable with such blogs.

And suicide is not a show of "manning up". Real men learn how to face their fears and problems, not be overcome with them.
Time is precious. Waste it wisely.
Arrian
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States889 Posts
February 13 2010 20:47 GMT
#12
Most people I know who feel these things end up playing WoW instead. It's like being dead to the real world, but you still need to eat and breathe. You should try it sometime.
Writersator arepo tenet opera rotas
andiCR
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Costa Rica2273 Posts
February 13 2010 20:54 GMT
#13
On February 14 2010 05:47 Arrian wrote:
Most people I know who feel these things end up playing WoW instead. It's like being dead to the real world, but you still need to eat and breathe. You should try it sometime.

am i the only one that thinks this is a bad idea?
Nightmare1795 wrote: I played a guy in bronze who said he was Japanese. That was the only game I ever dropped a nuke, which was purely coincidental.
WhiteNights
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States252 Posts
February 13 2010 21:13 GMT
#14
Thank you for all your advice.

I don't understand myself. I have the biggest fucking mood swings in the world. There are days when I am a normal, functioning, human being but every day there's about a 50% chance that something sets me off and I become absolutely suicidal for three or five hours and literally the only thing I can think about is how I'm a failure and how I should kill myself soon so as to not drain resources with my continued existence (as a constant train of thought while doing other things, like browsing TL doing homework driving or eating) and that the only thing left for me is death. It usually is triggered when my parents ream me out for doing something like staying up twenty minutes past my bedtime (I'm 18 it's really quite fucking sad) or putting something off for a day and even though they stop being angry after fifteen minutes (only sometimes they storm in in the morning to yell at me further or it stays quiet for a day or two before I get bitched out for it again) I'm still fantasizing about the best way to kill myself hours later but it's not necessary for that to happen sometimes it happens for no reason at all.

And then when I'm not in that kind of mood, everything is fine. I recognize that my attitude is really fucking stupid and I can think about other things like getting my shit done or talking with friends or getting some work done or whatever (although I usually end up wasting a lot of my time on something useless because I am usually drowning in apathy.) Self-improvement doesn't really cross my mind, because nothing I can see from my low vantage point seems inspiring at all and when I get introspective about it my neurotic brain engages the "you are a fucking failure" switch and I either become depressed or stop thinking and do something else.

So that's me, switching between apathy and despair (mostly apathy). You can see in two hours the suicidal train of thought has left the station and now I am in the mindset where nothing matters and the future is a dim uncertain gray haze rather than a black void and everything is okay and life goes on.
May your sky be always clear, may your smile be always bright, and may you be forever blessed for that moment of happiness which you gave to another lonely and grateful heart!
zulu_nation8
Profile Blog Joined May 2005
China26351 Posts
February 13 2010 22:19 GMT
#15
lol
Equaoh
Profile Joined October 2008
Canada427 Posts
February 13 2010 22:30 GMT
#16
On February 14 2010 06:13 WhiteNights wrote:
the suicidal train of thought has left the station and now I am in the mindset where nothing matters and the future is a dim uncertain gray haze rather than a black void and everything is okay and life goes on.


Well, that problem seems to have corrected itself.
d3_crescentia
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States4054 Posts
February 13 2010 23:08 GMT
#17
On February 14 2010 07:30 Equaoh wrote:
Show nested quote +
On February 14 2010 06:13 WhiteNights wrote:
the suicidal train of thought has left the station and now I am in the mindset where nothing matters and the future is a dim uncertain gray haze rather than a black void and everything is okay and life goes on.


Well, that problem seems to have corrected itself.

not really. it's tantamount to willfully ignoring the problem for a while; you'll always come back and finding out that it's worse because you ignored the issue.

just figure out who you are and what you want... and then, go for it.
once, not long ago, there was a moon here
Kaniol
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Poland5551 Posts
February 13 2010 23:39 GMT
#18
I remember this quote that it takes more courage to live than to die. And that is true, whatever problems one does have there is always the way to make things better, because suicide is never an option. It's just like with many alcoholics - they drink and this makes them problems so they drink even more to "solve" their problems but this doesn't solve anything, just makes things worse. Working on yourself is the best solution
Shauni
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
4077 Posts
February 14 2010 02:01 GMT
#19
On February 14 2010 08:39 Kaniol wrote:
I remember this quote that it takes more courage to live than to die. And that is true, whatever problems one does have there is always the way to make things better, because suicide is never an option. It's just like with many alcoholics - they drink and this makes them problems so they drink even more to "solve" their problems but this doesn't solve anything, just makes things worse. Working on yourself is the best solution


I approve of this blog, but disapprove of posts like these. Living takes endurance, not courage. Courage has nothing to do with being alive or dead, the reason why people say things like this is because it is morally wrong to kill yourself in the eyes of society. Making things better or worse is your own choice and if you really want to give up, disregard all advice from the narrow-minded masses who do nothing except fear the destruction of their own survival instincts.
I'm taking whatever coverage I can get, because frankly, I'm busy working on this million dollar deal at my job. Early retirement is a good thing brotha man. - MessengerASL
StorkHwaiting
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States3465 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-02-14 17:39:17
February 14 2010 17:39 GMT
#20
On February 14 2010 06:13 WhiteNights wrote:
Thank you for all your advice.

I don't understand myself. I have the biggest fucking mood swings in the world. There are days when I am a normal, functioning, human being but every day there's about a 50% chance that something sets me off and I become absolutely suicidal for three or five hours and literally the only thing I can think about is how I'm a failure and how I should kill myself soon so as to not drain resources with my continued existence (as a constant train of thought while doing other things, like browsing TL doing homework driving or eating) and that the only thing left for me is death. It usually is triggered when my parents ream me out for doing something like staying up twenty minutes past my bedtime (I'm 18 it's really quite fucking sad) or putting something off for a day and even though they stop being angry after fifteen minutes (only sometimes they storm in in the morning to yell at me further or it stays quiet for a day or two before I get bitched out for it again) I'm still fantasizing about the best way to kill myself hours later but it's not necessary for that to happen sometimes it happens for no reason at all.

And then when I'm not in that kind of mood, everything is fine. I recognize that my attitude is really fucking stupid and I can think about other things like getting my shit done or talking with friends or getting some work done or whatever (although I usually end up wasting a lot of my time on something useless because I am usually drowning in apathy.) Self-improvement doesn't really cross my mind, because nothing I can see from my low vantage point seems inspiring at all and when I get introspective about it my neurotic brain engages the "you are a fucking failure" switch and I either become depressed or stop thinking and do something else.

So that's me, switching between apathy and despair (mostly apathy). You can see in two hours the suicidal train of thought has left the station and now I am in the mindset where nothing matters and the future is a dim uncertain gray haze rather than a black void and everything is okay and life goes on.


How are your general health, diet, sleeping patterns, and level of exercise? I notice my mood will take a serious nosedive if I start eating bad food, sleeping at bad hours, and not working out/playing sports. The mind is very susceptible to the physical condition of the body. If you aren't taking care of sleep, diet, exercise, it could definitely be a major contributor to your depression.

Also, try to find hobbies. Passions or interests that make you happy or make you feel like you did something meaningful. I think a lot of times, younger people especially, have trouble understanding why they are alive and what they are meant to do. Ofc there are myriad answers to those questions, but you should try to find something that you think is worth doing (other than killing yourself). Browsing the internet can be fun at times, but it's not the kind of thing you look back on at the end of the week and feel productive.
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