EPTOne day I will man up, kill myself, and make the world a better place.
You see this way instead of being miserable for years and years, they will be sad for a few months and then get over it.
No, it's not happening anytime soon, don't call the cops.
emo blog mk IV
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WhiteNights
United States252 Posts
One day I will man up, kill myself, and make the world a better place. You see this way instead of being miserable for years and years, they will be sad for a few months and then get over it. No, it's not happening anytime soon, don't call the cops. | ||
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k20a
Canada412 Posts
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Mastermind
Canada7096 Posts
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Zurles
United Kingdom1659 Posts
contradiction. | ||
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WhiteNights
United States252 Posts
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N3rV[Green]
United States1935 Posts
Life is too grand to end early friend. | ||
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Husky
United States3362 Posts
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7mk
Germany10157 Posts
On February 14 2010 04:03 WhiteNights wrote: You see this way instead of being miserable for years and years, they will be sad for a few months and then get over it. That is such bullshit. Outliving your child is already pretty much the most painful thing there is ever. If the reason for that is that your child killed yourself then your gonna blame yourself for the rest of your life. They're not gonna "be sad for a few months and then get over it." Btw if youre gonna post like this, dont expect any real advice, your blog has way too little content for anyone to give you any good advice. But I'll still say that, if you wanna make your parents feel better, get your shit together and lead a happy life, it will make your parents happy too. | ||
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The6357
United States1268 Posts
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wo0py
Netherlands922 Posts
Indeed, you have to man up. Man up and go work on the problems you might have and making your talents work for you. | ||
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Manit0u
Poland17636 Posts
On February 14 2010 04:03 WhiteNights wrote: Apparently all I do is make life miserable for everyone around me You make our lives miserable with such blogs. And suicide is not a show of "manning up". Real men learn how to face their fears and problems, not be overcome with them. | ||
Arrian
United States889 Posts
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andiCR
Costa Rica2273 Posts
On February 14 2010 05:47 Arrian wrote: Most people I know who feel these things end up playing WoW instead. It's like being dead to the real world, but you still need to eat and breathe. You should try it sometime. am i the only one that thinks this is a bad idea?  | ||
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WhiteNights
United States252 Posts
I don't understand myself. I have the biggest fucking mood swings in the world. There are days when I am a normal, functioning, human being but every day there's about a 50% chance that something sets me off and I become absolutely suicidal for three or five hours and literally the only thing I can think about is how I'm a failure and how I should kill myself soon so as to not drain resources with my continued existence (as a constant train of thought while doing other things, like browsing TL doing homework driving or eating) and that the only thing left for me is death. It usually is triggered when my parents ream me out for doing something like staying up twenty minutes past my bedtime (I'm 18 it's really quite fucking sad) or putting something off for a day and even though they stop being angry after fifteen minutes (only sometimes they storm in in the morning to yell at me further or it stays quiet for a day or two before I get bitched out for it again) I'm still fantasizing about the best way to kill myself hours later but it's not necessary for that to happen sometimes it happens for no reason at all. And then when I'm not in that kind of mood, everything is fine. I recognize that my attitude is really fucking stupid and I can think about other things like getting my shit done or talking with friends or getting some work done or whatever (although I usually end up wasting a lot of my time on something useless because I am usually drowning in apathy.) Self-improvement doesn't really cross my mind, because nothing I can see from my low vantage point seems inspiring at all and when I get introspective about it my neurotic brain engages the "you are a fucking failure" switch and I either become depressed or stop thinking and do something else. So that's me, switching between apathy and despair (mostly apathy). You can see in two hours the suicidal train of thought has left the station and now I am in the mindset where nothing matters and the future is a dim uncertain gray haze rather than a black void and everything is okay and life goes on. | ||
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zulu_nation8
China26351 Posts
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Equaoh
Canada427 Posts
On February 14 2010 06:13 WhiteNights wrote: the suicidal train of thought has left the station and now I am in the mindset where nothing matters and the future is a dim uncertain gray haze rather than a black void and everything is okay and life goes on. Well, that problem seems to have corrected itself. | ||
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d3_crescentia
United States4054 Posts
On February 14 2010 07:30 Equaoh wrote: Well, that problem seems to have corrected itself. not really. it's tantamount to willfully ignoring the problem for a while; you'll always come back and finding out that it's worse because you ignored the issue. just figure out who you are and what you want... and then, go for it. | ||
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Kaniol
Poland5551 Posts
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Shauni
4077 Posts
On February 14 2010 08:39 Kaniol wrote: I remember this quote that it takes more courage to live than to die. And that is true, whatever problems one does have there is always the way to make things better, because suicide is never an option. It's just like with many alcoholics - they drink and this makes them problems so they drink even more to "solve" their problems but this doesn't solve anything, just makes things worse. Working on yourself is the best solution I approve of this blog, but disapprove of posts like these. Living takes endurance, not courage. Courage has nothing to do with being alive or dead, the reason why people say things like this is because it is morally wrong to kill yourself in the eyes of society. Making things better or worse is your own choice and if you really want to give up, disregard all advice from the narrow-minded masses who do nothing except fear the destruction of their own survival instincts. | ||
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StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
On February 14 2010 06:13 WhiteNights wrote: Thank you for all your advice. I don't understand myself. I have the biggest fucking mood swings in the world. There are days when I am a normal, functioning, human being but every day there's about a 50% chance that something sets me off and I become absolutely suicidal for three or five hours and literally the only thing I can think about is how I'm a failure and how I should kill myself soon so as to not drain resources with my continued existence (as a constant train of thought while doing other things, like browsing TL doing homework driving or eating) and that the only thing left for me is death. It usually is triggered when my parents ream me out for doing something like staying up twenty minutes past my bedtime (I'm 18 it's really quite fucking sad) or putting something off for a day and even though they stop being angry after fifteen minutes (only sometimes they storm in in the morning to yell at me further or it stays quiet for a day or two before I get bitched out for it again) I'm still fantasizing about the best way to kill myself hours later but it's not necessary for that to happen sometimes it happens for no reason at all. And then when I'm not in that kind of mood, everything is fine. I recognize that my attitude is really fucking stupid and I can think about other things like getting my shit done or talking with friends or getting some work done or whatever (although I usually end up wasting a lot of my time on something useless because I am usually drowning in apathy.) Self-improvement doesn't really cross my mind, because nothing I can see from my low vantage point seems inspiring at all and when I get introspective about it my neurotic brain engages the "you are a fucking failure" switch and I either become depressed or stop thinking and do something else. So that's me, switching between apathy and despair (mostly apathy). You can see in two hours the suicidal train of thought has left the station and now I am in the mindset where nothing matters and the future is a dim uncertain gray haze rather than a black void and everything is okay and life goes on. How are your general health, diet, sleeping patterns, and level of exercise? I notice my mood will take a serious nosedive if I start eating bad food, sleeping at bad hours, and not working out/playing sports. The mind is very susceptible to the physical condition of the body. If you aren't taking care of sleep, diet, exercise, it could definitely be a major contributor to your depression. Also, try to find hobbies. Passions or interests that make you happy or make you feel like you did something meaningful. I think a lot of times, younger people especially, have trouble understanding why they are alive and what they are meant to do. Ofc there are myriad answers to those questions, but you should try to find something that you think is worth doing (other than killing yourself). Browsing the internet can be fun at times, but it's not the kind of thing you look back on at the end of the week and feel productive. | ||
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arb
Noobville17921 Posts
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Chef
10810 Posts
I know what it's like to be sad and feel like your sadness is only a detriment to people in your life. The best thing you can do is try not to define yourself as a sad person. Sadness is something you're suffering from, but it's not all that you are. You can do other things. If you live at home you can learn to cook and prepare meals for your family. You can start creative projects and develop and artistic skill. You can offer to assist people in chores they need to do. Just don't sit around thinking about how sad and worthless you are all the time. I don't know what your relationship with your parents is, but maybe just spending time with them will be a good idea if you're not at war with them. Parents who seem neutral always love their children, and just don't know how/when to give them space. I hope you will see yourself as more than just sadness soon. Remember that it's a mental block you're creating, which you also have the power to overcome. You're a person, not an emotion. GL :O edit: oh didn't read your other post on page 1 =/ That's kind of passive aggressive. If your parents get on your case about something, and it upsets you, it's a lot more healthy to talk to them about it, rather than stomping around by yourself for a few hours. They can't know that they're hurting you if you do this, and that means they don't get the chance to adjust. Thinking about suicide because of that, as if to punish your parents, is really unfair to them. | ||
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