I agree with the people saying join clubs/get a job. This becomes much more difficult as you get older, so best to begin now to get practice and develop a core group of contacts. I've always been a bit of a loner, but now that I work from home and am older (27), it's incredibly difficult for me to meet new people and make friends.

Pawsom

United States928 Posts

November 05 2009 03:05 GMT

#22

Buy cheeseburgers for hobos!

+ Show Spoiler +

hehehe

cunninglinguists

United States925 Posts

November 05 2009 03:06 GMT

#23

but seriously, omegle it up.

omegle.com

just learn how to socialize properly and then be able to emulate it in real life.

Mickey

United States2606 Posts

November 05 2009 03:09 GMT

#24

Like people have stated, take it one step at a time. I often feel lonely, as It's hard to make friends at my school. I consider myself easy going and easy to talk to, but I just feel that most people are so vain or superficial that sometimes I don't even want to continue a conversation with them.

Just use small talk and eventually you'll find people with similar hobbies, etc..

MeriaDoKk

Chile1726 Posts

November 05 2009 03:11 GMT

#25

Get a job, earn money, hate people, thats life.

RebirthOfLeGenD

USA5860 Posts

November 05 2009 03:20 GMT

#26

aw man it happens to all of us. Its not an instant process like snet said. A job would definitely help, not caring what people think is also really helpful.

Oh one word of advice, it is almost always better to say something retarded then say nothing at all.

Medzo

United States627 Posts

November 05 2009 03:21 GMT

#27

There are different meanings for "feeling alone" so you might want to define what it is you're thinking or feeling. Do you feel alone because no one can relate to your ideas or beliefs? Do you feel alone because you don't know how to interact with people? Do you feel alone because you do not have as many friends as you would like?

A good way to feeling less alone is just more social interaction. So it sounds like you're uncomfortable talking to strangers. Bad news for you is that the only way to be comfortable talking with strangers is to go out there and do it. Good news is that it honestly doesn't matter what happens when you talk to a stranger, because they are a stranger.

Here is some conversation tips. Learn how to ask questions. For me the most interesting thing when talking to someone is to let them tell you about their life or something interesting, rather than speaking on behalf of yourself. Most people like to talk about themselves too. If you have something to say then its good to know your audience, like when talking to someone sensitive (women, some men) be sure to tell them how you felt. Or if you're talking to someone logical be sure to explain your reasons. Minor things like this can make a difference in your conversations.

Just go out and practice and find communication patterns that work. Being good at conversation is an art, it takes practice, it is not all natural.

And don't bother with omegle, without body language or the fear of rejection it is pointless, and not to mention half the people are looking for cyber sex.

d_so

Korea (South)3262 Posts

November 05 2009 03:23 GMT

#28

here i am a teacher at a junior high /high school and im surrounded by teachers my age who i can converse relate with etc but i fucking just WANT TO BE ALONE i don't want to be ur friends goddamit i just want to do my job go home eat play games sleep repeat stop trying to build relationships with me u twats.

maybe you'll turn out like me in a few years lol i dont know if that's a good thing or not.

Sea.YachtNavy

Andorra5 Posts

November 05 2009 03:28 GMT

#29

--- Nuked ---

DoctorHelvetica

United States15034 Posts

November 05 2009 03:29 GMT

#30

I have crippling social anxiety. I am extremely shy in person and find it really hard to make friends. I have 1 maybe 2 friends total and that trend has continued my whole life. I'm not incredibly close with them either, I don't want to be a loner though.

Shit sucks.

Force yourself to be in situations where you can meet people, I guess. Takes more courage than I have.

d_so

Korea (South)3262 Posts

November 05 2009 03:30 GMT

#31

^ maybe you'd have more friends if you didn't steal articles

DoctorHelvetica

United States15034 Posts

November 05 2009 03:33 GMT

#32

On November 05 2009 12:30 d_so wrote:
^ maybe you'd have more friends if you didn't steal articles

what? Every single article I've posted was all my writing. If I've written on similar topics or have assimilated thoughts from other articles into my own arguments that is irrelevant.

Chill

Calgary26004 Posts

November 05 2009 03:34 GMT

#33

come to korea lol

TheAntZ

Israel6248 Posts

November 05 2009 03:42 GMT

#34

I would hug you but, you know, I dont know where you are

onmach

United States1241 Posts

November 05 2009 03:50 GMT

#35

In my experience, anxieties are due to uncertainty. You don't know what is going to happen so you fear it, so you don't do it, so it remains uncertain.

If I were to give you advice, and man I wish I'd had this advice when I was younger, as soon as you notice any situation makes you nervous when you know logically it shouldn't bother you, or that people do it all the time, you should force yourself to do it. I don't care what it is.

As an example, an anxiety a lot of people have is the gym. They'll do anything to get into shape as long as they don't have to do it in front of people. They think they'll be made fun of, even though logically that's stupid and it won't happen. But your head won't really believe that until it sees it for itself.

Another example, if you tend to not talk to people in class, do it. Say anything. Ask about a homework assignment due date, comment on his laptop, whatever. He'll tell you the due date and that'll be that. If by some miracle the guy tells you to fuck off, then that's it, that's the worst possible repercussion and you survived. Onto the next challenge.

Dance in a crazy dance club. Ride a motorcycle. Jump out of a plane. No wait, don't do that last one that's crazy.

ShaperofDreams

Canada2492 Posts

November 05 2009 03:54 GMT

#36

Hmm, I have no real problems socializing but I only enjoy it sometimes, the rest of the time I mildly dislike it or want to do something else.

But yeah just remember that everybody is self concious and that you don't have to be the worlds funniest guy, just act relaxed and in control and expand from there.

edit: btw I'm the same age as you, also ~18

Ghardo

Germany1685 Posts

November 05 2009 03:57 GMT

#37

unless you're just a little bit emo you don't seem to be very satisfied with your situation.

you can't totally change your personality just like that and at once be the social baller like some users on this board pretend to be *hehe* (this shouldn't sound disheartening, try to begin with the thought that most of it is only in your head/not necessary) so try to tweak the circumstances so that you are overall a more satisfied person.

it's hard to make a list for that matter, but try what honesttea pointedly wrote in the thread about relationships - this may partly apply here too (minus point 2):

On October 19 2009 13:23 HonestTea wrote:
Answer to all these questions:

BECOME A BETTER MAN

Make sure you are as much as a gentleman you can be.

Get haircuts regularly, clothes perfectly ironed, class and work before time, open doors and pull out chairs for all women, exercise daily, read the Times and Journal everyday, always have an interesting book you're reading, spend QT with friends and family, savings and investments in order, practice your second language weekly, volunteer at least once a month, keep your car and house clean, wardrobe immaculate... and no turning hoes into housewives.

Be happy with who you are, but never be satisfied

1. Be a better man (I believe PUA people call this "inner game"),
2. know what kind of person you want,
3. don't be afraid of meeting people and keeping a wide and open social life,
4. and things will happen when they happen.

Now close this fucking thread.

i mean that for example the nervousness is not a product of itself but that there are other factors in your life that make you dissatisfied (like laziness in school/university/work, sports, - little to no motivation to get things done E.G.) and if you work on these and better them, that your overall satisfaction would automatically sweep away the obstacles you seem to see in social situations (because you take it all easier, without thinking too much).

that's at least what i observed when i felt happier and had nothing depressing on my mind, that most things would come naturally to me..

whatev, hf

illu

Canada2531 Posts

November 05 2009 03:59 GMT

#38

You are just 18......