• Log InLog In
  • Register
Liquid`
Team Liquid Liquipedia
EDT 08:42
CEST 14:42
KST 21:42
  • Home
  • Forum
  • Calendar
  • Streams
  • Liquipedia
  • Features
  • Store
  • EPT
  • TL+
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Smash
  • Heroes
  • Counter-Strike
  • Overwatch
  • Liquibet
  • Fantasy StarCraft
  • TLPD
  • StarCraft 2
  • Brood War
  • Blogs
Forum Sidebar
Events/Features
News
Featured News
[ASL21] Ro24 Preview Pt1: New Chaos0Team Liquid Map Contest #22 - Presented by Monster Energy9ByuL: The Forgotten Master of ZvT30Behind the Blue - Team Liquid History Book20Clem wins HomeStory Cup 289
Community News
Weekly Cups (March 16-22): herO doubles, Cure surprises3Blizzard Classic Cup @ BlizzCon 2026 - $100k prize pool48Weekly Cups (March 9-15): herO, Clem, ByuN win42026 KungFu Cup Announcement6BGE Stara Zagora 2026 cancelled12
StarCraft 2
General
Team Liquid Map Contest #22 - Presented by Monster Energy What mix of new & old maps do you want in the next ladder pool? (SC2) Potential Updates Coming to the SC2 CN Server Behind the Blue - Team Liquid History Book herO wins SC2 All-Star Invitational
Tourneys
RSL Season 4 announced for March-April Sparkling Tuna Cup - Weekly Open Tournament StarCraft Evolution League (SC Evo Biweekly) WardiTV Mondays World University TeamLeague (500$+) | Signups Open
Strategy
Custom Maps
[M] (2) Frigid Storage Publishing has been re-enabled! [Feb 24th 2026]
External Content
The PondCast: SC2 News & Results Mutation # 518 Radiation Zone Mutation # 517 Distant Threat Mutation # 516 Specter of Death
Brood War
General
Pros React To: SoulKey vs Ample ASL21 General Discussion RepMastered™: replay sharing and analyzer site KK Platform will provide 1 million CNY Recent recommended BW games
Tourneys
[ASL21] Ro24 Group C [Megathread] Daily Proleagues [ASL21] Ro24 Group B [ASL21] Ro24 Group A
Strategy
What's the deal with APM & what's its true value Fighting Spirit mining rates Simple Questions, Simple Answers
Other Games
General Games
General RTS Discussion Thread Nintendo Switch Thread Stormgate/Frost Giant Megathread Darkest Dungeon Path of Exile
Dota 2
The Story of Wings Gaming Official 'what is Dota anymore' discussion
League of Legends
G2 just beat GenG in First stand
Heroes of the Storm
Simple Questions, Simple Answers Heroes of the Storm 2.0
Hearthstone
Deck construction bug Heroes of StarCraft mini-set
TL Mafia
TL Mafia Community Thread Five o'clock TL Mafia Mafia Game Mode Feedback/Ideas Vanilla Mini Mafia
Community
General
US Politics Mega-thread The Games Industry And ATVI European Politico-economics QA Mega-thread Canadian Politics Mega-thread Russo-Ukrainian War Thread
Fan Clubs
The IdrA Fan Club
Media & Entertainment
[Manga] One Piece [Req][Books] Good Fantasy/SciFi books Movie Discussion!
Sports
Formula 1 Discussion 2024 - 2026 Football Thread Cricket [SPORT] Tokyo Olympics 2021 Thread General nutrition recommendations
World Cup 2022
Tech Support
[G] How to Block Livestream Ads
TL Community
The Automated Ban List
Blogs
Funny Nicknames
LUCKY_NOOB
Money Laundering In Video Ga…
TrAiDoS
Iranian anarchists: organize…
XenOsky
FS++
Kraekkling
Shocked by a laser…
Spydermine0240
ASL S21 English Commentary…
namkraft
Customize Sidebar...

Website Feedback

Closed Threads



Active: 6443 users

Retarded Brain

Blogs > EsX_Raptor
Post a Reply
Normal
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2802 Posts
September 07 2009 00:51 GMT
#1
So I go downstairs to go get me something to drink. I decide to make some sort of shake with a couple bananas and some spare milk left in my fridge. I chop the bananas, put them in the blender, pour some milk in, and add a bit of sugar. I then proceed to start the blender and guess what happens; I forgot shit was broken. In the end, I had to eat the bananas and drink the milk straight off the huge cup, not to mention I made a huge mess including myself.

What a waste of time.

The other day I woke up all grumpy because of some unknown reason. I went straight to the kitchen and thought about making myself a corn flakes cereal. I take out the corn flakes box, pour some in a cup, pour milk in, and add a bit of sugar. I go upstairs to watch TV and get all comfortable on the bed. Then I take a spoon-full of corn flakes and eat it, guess what, I fucking put salt in it instead of sugar, god that was nasty. I stood up feeling like crap and dumped the whole thing in the toilet.

What a waste of corn flakes.

This is what happens when I let my muscle memory take over my actions, and these are only a couple things of this sort that have happened to me this year already.

Like forgetting to flush the toilet after taking a huge shit, then a girlfriend comes to visit and because of some mighty and unknown reason that is bound to happen 100% of the times, decides that she has to go to the restroom. wtf.

When I forget to clean my browsing history and let some friend at the university use my pc for whatever. I just remember him opening google and clicking on the search bar when a list of shit like this pops down:

"fucking naked hot chicks"
"blowjob in the face"
"how to spray more semen assholes"
"barney the dinosaur"
"do i put salt when cooking pasta?"
"how to hack facebook"
"tips for masturbation"
"how to take a screenshot"
"i'm a fucking retarded d/d-"

What a waste of a good friendship.

Or when one of my professors assigned me to do summer research while guiding a newcomer from a foreign country to get him used to the new system and work. He found the guy browsing the web for some pictures of girls in bikinis.

Hell, I'm out of here. And don't forget to post your shit too.

****
Megalisk
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States6095 Posts
September 07 2009 00:54 GMT
#2
Yeah but you have a giant dick that touches the water in the toilet..thats something to be proud of.
Tear stained american saints and dirty guitar dreams across a universe of desert and blue sky , gas station coffee love letters and two dollar pistol kisses from thirty five dollar hotel room stationary .
theobsessed1
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States576 Posts
September 07 2009 01:00 GMT
#3
On September 07 2009 09:54 Megalisk wrote:
Yeah but you have a giant dick that touches the water in the toilet..thats something to be proud of.


AHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
정명훈 화이팅!~
micronesia
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States24762 Posts
September 07 2009 01:06 GMT
#4
You aren't paying attention. You are not the only one. It's important to not go through life in a fog or be a ditz. Make it a personal goal to play closer attention in life if you want less of this 'retarded' shit to happen.
ModeratorThere are animal crackers for people and there are people crackers for animals.
BuGzlToOnl
Profile Blog Joined November 2006
United States5918 Posts
September 07 2009 01:13 GMT
#5
If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.
Archaic
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
United States4024 Posts
September 07 2009 01:15 GMT
#6
On September 07 2009 09:54 Megalisk wrote:
Yeah but you have a giant dick that touches the water in the toilet..thats something to be proud of.

Hahahahahaha, such a great thread.
Chuiu
Profile Blog Joined June 2003
3470 Posts
September 07 2009 01:15 GMT
#7
Why the fuck are you putting sugar in everything? You sound like you need to just learn to eat shit without sugar.
♞
ZeeTemplar
Profile Blog Joined October 2008
United States557 Posts
September 07 2009 01:17 GMT
#8
On September 07 2009 10:15 Archaic wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 07 2009 09:54 Megalisk wrote:
Yeah but you have a giant dick that touches the water in the toilet..thats something to be proud of.

Hahahahahaha, such a great thread.


lol
Jangbi storms!!!
Kurosaki
Profile Joined August 2008
United States158 Posts
September 07 2009 01:19 GMT
#9
On September 07 2009 09:51 EsX_Raptor wrote:
When I forget to clean my browsing history and let some friend at the university use my pc for whatever. I just remember him opening google and clicking on the search bar when a list of shit like this pops down

Never can I forget to do that. They always use THAT browser.
CommanderFluffy
Profile Joined June 2008
Taiwan1059 Posts
September 07 2009 01:25 GMT
#10
Huge fly buzzing around my head in my apartment. I swatted at it a few times, hoping it'd go away. But that little fucker kept on trying to land on me. I proceeded to hunt it down, not with a magazine, not with a notebook, with a box of fucking cheez-its.

I swing, i fucking miss, jalapeno flavored goodness goes flying everywhere.

I just kinda stood there and stared at the mess i made for a few minutes.
Everyone does stupid shit, i wouldnt worry about it.
Pain is temporary, but glory is forever.
NrG.ZaM
Profile Joined March 2008
United States267 Posts
September 07 2009 01:32 GMT
#11
Just get Frosted Flakes man, then you can't possibly have that slip-up.
Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
September 07 2009 01:41 GMT
#12
Adopt the saying 'better safe than sorry' and start checking things before you take action.
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
Koiru
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States116 Posts
September 07 2009 01:44 GMT
#13
I always catch myself trying to put my ENTIRE CARTON 3/4 FULL OF ORANGE JUICE into the garbage can after I pour myself a glass, or putting my cereal in the refridgerator after I finish pouring some into a bowl. Just stuff like that.
Pants optional.
FragKrag
Profile Blog Joined September 2007
United States11556 Posts
September 07 2009 01:46 GMT
#14
corn flakes taste better without sugar. man up
*TL CJ Entusman #40* "like scissors does anything to paper except MAKE IT MORE NUMEROUS" -paper
ghermination
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
United States2851 Posts
September 07 2009 01:49 GMT
#15
That's what you get for putting cereal into a cup.
Today i was lifting at the gym and put 60kg on one side of the bar and 40kg on the other...

Although the *CRASH* was enjoyable.
U Gotta Skate.
armed_
Profile Joined November 2008
Canada443 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-09-07 01:57:03
September 07 2009 01:56 GMT
#16
People who add sugar to their cereal are a scourge on humanity. >;(
On September 07 2009 10:44 Koiru wrote:
I always catch myself trying to put my ENTIRE CARTON 3/4 FULL OF ORANGE JUICE into the garbage can after I pour myself a glass, or putting my cereal in the refridgerator after I finish pouring some into a bowl. Just stuff like that.

God, I do this all the time. Like when I eat something in a disposable container I always try to put the container in the sink and the cutlery in the garbage.
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2802 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-09-07 02:35:45
September 07 2009 02:26 GMT
#17
On September 07 2009 10:44 Koiru wrote:
I always catch myself trying to put my ENTIRE CARTON 3/4 FULL OF ORANGE JUICE into the garbage can after I pour myself a glass, or putting my cereal in the refridgerator after I finish pouring some into a bowl. Just stuff like that.

rofl similar shit here too, i sometimes pour myself some juice and later on find myself drinking the mayonise jar wtf?

On September 07 2009 09:54 Megalisk wrote:
Yeah but you have a giant dick that touches the water in the toilet..thats something to be proud of.


OFF TOPIC:

here you go, i just made a short story about this out of my boredom...

[image loading]
Torenhire
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States11681 Posts
September 07 2009 02:31 GMT
#18
You know, I just have to question...

"Blowjobs in the face"

...I wasn't aware there was another place for them.....




....TO GOOGLE!
SirJolt: Well maybe if you weren't so big and stupid, it wouldn't have hit you.
nttea
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
Sweden4353 Posts
September 07 2009 03:18 GMT
#19
So i was sitting and playing starcraft when i dropped a glass on the floor, it shattered into a lot of pieces. But i just thought hey, ill deal with it later. Of course i forget i dropped the glass so when i have to go to the bathroom i JUMP out of my chair, right with my feet on the shattered glass. So it hurts like fucking hell and it's all pitch-black in the apartment cause it's 3 am and i just had my monitor on, but i need to go to the bathroom BADLY so i just have to pull myself there, bleeding from my foot all through the apartment, luckily there was paper in there so i could stop the bleeding and pull out the shards but man did that experience suck. Always clean up shattered glass from below your computer chair immediately > lesson of the day.
ahswtini
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
Northern Ireland22212 Posts
September 07 2009 09:49 GMT
#20
When eating a banana, I sometimes peel it and throw away the flesh and eat the peel =|
"As I've said, balance isn't about strategies or counters, it's about probability and statistics." - paralleluniverse
starflash
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
190 Posts
September 07 2009 10:01 GMT
#21
lol @ picture @ michelle trztchenburg
Pengu1n
Profile Blog Joined October 2004
United States552 Posts
September 07 2009 15:56 GMT
#22
LOLLLLLLL barney the dinosaur !
Normal
Please log in or register to reply.
Live Events Refresh
WardiTV Team League
11:00
Group A
WardiTV588
RotterdaM370
IndyStarCraft 255
TKL 170
Liquipedia
[ Submit Event ]
Live Streams
Refresh
StarCraft 2
RotterdaM 370
IndyStarCraft 255
TKL 153
SortOf 123
Rex 86
MindelVK 66
Railgan 28
StarCraft: Brood War
Britney 49782
Sea 7649
Jaedong 1759
Killer 998
BeSt 510
EffOrt 491
Shuttle 465
Rush 373
Stork 358
Mini 358
[ Show more ]
actioN 332
firebathero 309
Zeus 284
ZerO 259
Last 226
Hyuk 222
ggaemo 169
Soulkey 158
Larva 129
Light 127
Dewaltoss 116
ToSsGirL 92
PianO 86
hero 76
Hyun 67
Sharp 55
sSak 53
Backho 50
Sea.KH 48
JYJ 45
sorry 35
Aegong 33
Bale 31
HiyA 23
Rock 17
Movie 16
GoRush 16
IntoTheRainbow 15
Noble 14
Sacsri 12
ajuk12(nOOB) 9
SilentControl 7
Sexy 6
ivOry 5
Terrorterran 4
eros_byul 0
Dota 2
Gorgc6871
XcaliburYe193
Counter-Strike
fl0m3485
shoxiejesuss2958
x6flipin299
Heroes of the Storm
Khaldor136
Other Games
FrodaN5271
singsing2090
B2W.Neo1303
Liquid`RaSZi783
crisheroes346
Fuzer 168
KnowMe154
Mew2King50
ZerO(Twitch)8
Organizations
Other Games
BasetradeTV46
StarCraft 2
Blizzard YouTube
StarCraft: Brood War
BSLTrovo
sctven
[ Show 14 non-featured ]
StarCraft 2
• Adnapsc2 20
• iHatsuTV 11
• AfreecaTV YouTube
• intothetv
• Kozan
• IndyKCrew
• LaughNgamezSOOP
• Migwel
• sooper7s
StarCraft: Brood War
• BSLYoutube
• STPLYoutube
• ZZZeroYoutube
Dota 2
• WagamamaTV450
League of Legends
• Nemesis1467
Upcoming Events
BSL
6h 18m
Replay Cast
11h 18m
Replay Cast
20h 18m
Afreeca Starleague
21h 18m
Light vs Calm
Royal vs Mind
Wardi Open
22h 18m
Monday Night Weeklies
1d 3h
OSC
1d 11h
Sparkling Tuna Cup
1d 21h
Afreeca Starleague
1d 21h
Rush vs PianO
Flash vs Speed
Replay Cast
2 days
[ Show More ]
Afreeca Starleague
2 days
BeSt vs Leta
Queen vs Jaedong
Replay Cast
3 days
The PondCast
3 days
Replay Cast
4 days
RSL Revival
4 days
Replay Cast
5 days
RSL Revival
5 days
BSL
6 days
RSL Revival
6 days
Liquipedia Results

Completed

Proleague 2026-03-27
WardiTV Winter 2026
Underdog Cup #3

Ongoing

BSL Season 22
CSL Elite League 2026
CSL Season 20: Qualifier 1
ASL Season 21
Acropolis #4 - TS6
2026 Changsha Offline CUP
StarCraft2 Community Team League 2026 Spring
RSL Revival: Season 4
Nations Cup 2026
NationLESS Cup
BLAST Open Spring 2026
ESL Pro League S23 Finals
ESL Pro League S23 Stage 1&2
PGL Cluj-Napoca 2026
IEM Kraków 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter 2026
BLAST Bounty Winter Qual

Upcoming

CSL Season 20: Qualifier 2
Escore Tournament S2: W1
CSL 2026 SPRING (S20)
Acropolis #4
IPSL Spring 2026
BSL 22 Non-Korean Championship
CSLAN 4
Kung Fu Cup 2026 Grand Finals
HSC XXIX
uThermal 2v2 2026 Main Event
IEM Cologne Major 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 2
CS Asia Championships 2026
IEM Atlanta 2026
Asian Champions League 2026
PGL Astana 2026
BLAST Rivals Spring 2026
CCT Season 3 Global Finals
IEM Rio 2026
PGL Bucharest 2026
Stake Ranked Episode 1
TLPD

1. ByuN
2. TY
3. Dark
4. Solar
5. Stats
6. Nerchio
7. sOs
8. soO
9. INnoVation
10. Elazer
1. Rain
2. Flash
3. EffOrt
4. Last
5. Bisu
6. Soulkey
7. Mini
8. Sharp
Sidebar Settings...

Advertising | Privacy Policy | Terms Of Use | Contact Us

Original banner artwork: Jim Warren
The contents of this webpage are copyright © 2026 TLnet. All Rights Reserved.