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Day[9]'s terrible secret. - Page 3

Forum Index > SC2 General
Post a Reply
Prev 1 2 3 4 5 14 15 16 Next All
Murlox
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
France1699 Posts
January 06 2011 20:04 GMT
#41
Nice thread, thx
Resistance ain't futile
speedphlux
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Bulgaria962 Posts
January 06 2011 20:04 GMT
#42
He's the latest and greatest creation of our dear late Jim Henson
Glad we've uncovered this one, meaning Jim's work was complete.
Cheers to Miss Piggy, Kermit and Day[J] ! :D
... Humanity Is Not What I Suffer From ...
Not_A_Notion
Profile Joined May 2009
Ireland441 Posts
January 06 2011 20:07 GMT
#43
For a sec I was worried it was the colloquial British use of the word.
But sure t'was all in good fun in the end.
A worrying lack of anvils
Ketara
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States15065 Posts
January 06 2011 20:09 GMT
#44
Muppet has a British slang meaning...?

Do we want to know?
http://www.liquidlegends.net/forum/lol-general/502075-patch-61-league-of-legends-general-discussion?page=25#498
Robstickle
Profile Joined April 2010
Great Britain406 Posts
January 06 2011 20:10 GMT
#45
It just means idiot. Seeing sentences like "Day9 is a muppet" just doesn't sound right to us
Skamtet
Profile Joined July 2010
Canada634 Posts
January 06 2011 20:11 GMT
#46
On January 07 2011 04:34 Impervious wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 07 2011 04:30 -Strider- wrote:
On January 07 2011 04:25 Skamtet wrote:
I expected the flight story.

What's that?

It is what it is.
Hahahaha
Therick
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Norway324 Posts
January 06 2011 20:13 GMT
#47
On January 07 2011 04:30 -Strider- wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 07 2011 04:25 Skamtet wrote:
I expected the flight story.

What's that?


this is the flight story, by day9

+ Show Spoiler +
¨WTF i get caught jacking off all the time

i'm not unlucky, its just standard probability. i beat off alot. seriously, i beat off like if i keep doing it,
i'm gonna win something. its only natural people will stumble in eventually


FOR EXAMPLE

so i'm on this direct flight from claremont (my college town) back to kansas city (my home town) for winter
break. since its a direct 3 hour flight, its too short for them to have "in flight entertainment," but its so
long that i'm gonna be bored out of my god damn mind. so, of course, i'm like "i guess i'm beating off like 5
times during this flight."

its one of those small sized slingshot airplanes that goes really fast but is really unstable and has one tiny
ass cramped aisle. so i'm sitting in my anorexic bucket seat w/ my shitty peanuts waiting for the plane to hit
a high enough altitude when i finally hear: *ding* "this is your captain speaking, we have reached a cruising
altitude of 30,000 feet, you are now free to move about the cabin." "bink success!" i think to myself, "the
time is right." of course i don't rush to the bathroom, no need for that. why not give myself a little tease. i
gently, slowly unbuckle my seatbelt. I stand up, and stretch a little bit. I take a nice slow, leisurely walk
to the bathroom at the back of the plane. masturbation this good deserves foreplay of its own.

i get to the bathroom, close the door, and sliiiiiide my pants on down and start working myself. oh holy LORD
it's amazing. i mean, i don't know if you know this or not, but i am REALLY good at masturbating. I'm in a 2
square foot, dimly lit bathroom, but i feel so good my back is arching and my foot is cramping and i'm nearly
ready to start screaming my own name.

then suddenly, TURBULENCE. AGH SHIT. I HATE turbulence. It's not that it makes me feel sick or nauseated.
turbulence makes me feel like i'm about to die. So i'm trying to jack off, and suddenly the jerk in the plane
floods my body w/ adrenaline and i grab the handle in the bathroom and i'm like "OH SHIT."

do you know how hard it is to cum when you feel like you're about to die??? I mean seriously, imagine jacking
off while there's a guy w/ a loaded gun to your head and he's screaming "C'MON CUM YOU PUSSY, DO IT CUM." You'd
be shivering w/ eyes closed, tears streaming down your face as you sputter through little snot bubbles just
BEGGING your dick to come. "please cum!!!" you'd weep "i wanna cum soooo bad!!!!!"

so there i am trying to think of every dirty thing possible so i can finally orgasm, but all that's going
through my mind is "god i need to reconcile with my dad and tell my brother i love him" etc etc and while i'm
distracted in a mess of standard pre-death thoughts, i don't realize that i'm about to cum.

HOLY FUCK i say as i fumble and try to grab some kleenex from the box on the counter. however, in my stuttered
panic, i just knock the kleenex box over, hit the "stewardess help button," and i cum directly onto the floor.
still in a state of panic i'm like FUCKFUCKFUCK I NEED TO TURN THIS BUTTON OFF so of course i (geniusly) press
it like 5 more times trying to turn this off. Naturally, the button just goes *ding ding ding ding*, making my
situation seem all the more urgent, and i can hear the stewardess rushing to the door since i appear to be in
desperate need of help.

"FOCUS SEAN FOCUS," i think, "I NEED TO HIDE MY DICK." so, (this is genius) i pick up the kleenex box from the
floor, pull out 5 pieces of tissue, and i just lay them on top of my erection... so it looks kinda like a
little dick tent. so, the stewardess, responding to my urgent spams of the "stewardess help button" proceeds to
open the bathroom door just like i knew she was going to. She looks on the ground to see my epic protein stain,
looks up at my glorious dicktent, and then you know what happens?? we make eye contact.

so she's looking at me, and i'm looking at her and in general i dislike awkward silences. however, this was an
all KINDS of awkward silence, so i figured it was necessary to say something. so, i did the best i could. i
look her right in the eye and say "... it is what it is..."

???? why did i say that???? what a stupid thing to say... well... i guess it's hard in that situation to "play
it off cool." i can't be like "hey i know smoking isn't allowed on the plane, so do you have a stick of gum??"

so she shuts the door, and i clean myself up and spend another 3 minutes trying to clean up the mass of cum on
the floor. even though i did a pretty good job, its damn hard to get that shine out of the laminate flooring.
i'm finally done, so i open up the bathroom door to see a line of 10 or so people that's been building up since
i went into the bathroom like 20 minutes ago (again, it took my a while since its difficult to cum when you
think you're about to die). I get to look across the line of all of em, and say the only sensible thing i can
think of:

"for those of you going to use the bathroom, i'd make sure you're wearing shoes."
Lift. Laugh. Love. <3
Kimaker
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2131 Posts
January 06 2011 20:15 GMT
#48
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh, this is good. Very good. I can't wait for Day to do a Kermit the Frog scream now ^_^
Entusman #54 (-_-) ||"Gold is for the Mistress-Silver for the Maid-Copper for the craftsman cunning in his trade. "Good!" said the Baron, sitting in his hall, But Iron — Cold Iron — is master of them all|| "Optimism is Cowardice."- Oswald Spengler
EffectS
Profile Joined May 2010
Belgium795 Posts
January 06 2011 20:17 GMT
#49
I approve of this thread. :D
TEEHEE
eviltomahawk
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States11135 Posts
January 06 2011 20:18 GMT
#50
*puts on tin foil hat*

Tastosis is Bert and Ernie.
Idra is Oscar the Grouch.
uh...
ㅇㅅㅌㅅ
s[O]rry
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
Canada398 Posts
January 06 2011 20:18 GMT
#51
You know that feeling.. You wake up in the morning, stretch, rub your eyes... Get out of bed, get breakfast, have a nice shower, getting ready for your day.. You get in your car or on the bus to go to school when you realize... "OH MY GOD I HAD A FINAL 2 HOURS AGO".

That is how I feel because of this. He has misled us for so long...
Sunshine.
darklordjac
Profile Joined July 2010
Canada2231 Posts
January 06 2011 20:22 GMT
#52
Well I know officially love the muppets.
Atlas_550
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States180 Posts
January 06 2011 20:30 GMT
#53
On January 07 2011 05:18 s[O]rry wrote:
You know that feeling.. You wake up in the morning, stretch, rub your eyes... Get out of bed, get breakfast, have a nice shower, getting ready for your day.. You get in your car or on the bus to go to school when you realize... "OH MY GOD I HAD A FINAL 2 HOURS AGO".

That is how I feel because of this. He has misled us for so long...


OMG I HATE THAT SITUATION! GAHHHH COLLLEGE!

But yes, Day9 is a muppet.... How did anyone not know? infact, all casters are muppets. Crap, that makes me a muppet too! ^&*%
Treemonkeys
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States2082 Posts
January 06 2011 20:42 GMT
#54
Why is this a terrible secret?

Are you a muppetist?
http://shroomspiration.blogspot.com/
Slims20
Profile Joined June 2010
United States45 Posts
January 06 2011 20:44 GMT
#55
This might be the greatest thread ever on TL.
Benjef
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United Kingdom6921 Posts
January 06 2011 20:45 GMT
#56
Oh my god this is hilarious :D. So true!

Thanks for that cheered me up a lot and I was feeling realllly down haha
<3 | Dota 2 | DayZ | <3
Gatsbi
Profile Joined April 2010
United States1134 Posts
January 06 2011 20:46 GMT
#57
On January 07 2011 04:34 Impervious wrote:
Show nested quote +
On January 07 2011 04:30 -Strider- wrote:
On January 07 2011 04:25 Skamtet wrote:
I expected the flight story.

What's that?

It is what it is.


HAHAHAHA, I burst out laughing at work, I love you.
"IF WHAT YOU DO NOT KNOW IS MORE THAN WHAT YOU HAVE KNOWN. THEN YOU HAVE NOT KNOWN ANYTHINIG YET." - Rev Kojo Smith
dmillz
Profile Joined November 2010
Canada270 Posts
January 06 2011 20:46 GMT
#58
Fantastic post LOL
Cajun2k1
Profile Joined May 2010
Netherlands399 Posts
January 06 2011 20:51 GMT
#59
Mind blown. Now the big secret remains, who is the puppetmaster?
How can you kill, that which has no life?
Urkl
Profile Joined December 2009
Sweden15 Posts
January 06 2011 20:53 GMT
#60
Incontrol obviously.
If the facts dont fit the theory, change the facts.
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