EPTAll of this random ESPORTS drama is related. Everybody hold on a second while I go grab Glenn Beck's chalkboard.
Okay, ready:
Stephano signed with Complexity (even though there are bigger/better teams) because he heard that they were going to pick up Naniwa. Then Millenium locked Stephano in a dark closet and wouldn't let him out until he re-signed with Millenium, whose French lawyers are the same people who drafted Virus' contract of Naama (which is why Virus feels like they can get away without paying him).
Once Naniwa heard that Stephano was staying in France, Naniwa wanted to back out of the Complexity deal and stay with Dignitas, but Dignitas can't afford to renew his contract anymore because they'd already planned on Naniwa going to coL and has reassigned those funds to acquiring teamless SaSe.
As coL's super-lawyers sue Millenium and Stephano for breach of contract, it's determined that the only way coL can be compensated for all this is by Stephano rejoining (hah) their team. But Millenium busts out their French law loopholes, showing that in France, contracts are like the first three quarters of an NBA game: meaningless. It becomes clear that coL has no option but to cede ground to the French pro team. Unless...
coL ups the ante by suing France itself, and its weird contract laws. This becomes a high-profile case in international law, drawing more attention and higher-priced lawyers. By suing France itself and how its laws affect international ESPORTS, Virus' French-written contracts are sucked into the case, and coL uses Virus' non-payment of Naama as prime evidence. The international courts determine that Virus must pay Naama all his missing cash.
But wait! French lawyers discover that coL has a history of treating their own contracts as little-to-nothing. They bring up how Destiny was allowed to leave the team despite breaching his contract in the process, and argue that either coL cannot hold any player to their contracts, or they're forced to sue Destiny as well for HIS breach of contract.
coL sues Destiny.
Reddit explodes.
Meanwhile, as Naniwa realizes that Stephano is likely to be playing for coL again, he decides that he'd like to go back and play for them again. During all this, however, he's been practicing with and playing for TSL. When TSL's coach realizes that Naniwa's going back on his good will and leaving to play for Complexity, he freaks out at yet another foreigner team stealing his players right out from under him. (Note: TSL's coach doesn't learn his lesson from EG, and did not sign Naniwa to a contract -- other than that storied contract of honor.) The Korean Starcraft 2 Committee decides that this has to stop, and that they're not going to allow any foreign players to live or train with them ever again, and put pressure on GSL to dis-allow foreign players.
Milkis translates the Korean drama into English, and then into English again. This being the first time EG hears about this, Alex Garfield is pretty upset that Huk and Puma won't be able to participate in GSL anymore and wants to debate Milkis on one of djWheat's shows, even though Milkis isn't responsible.
Reddit explodes again.
The oGs house is forced, by Kespa 2.0, to kick well-loved Jinro out of the house. MC won't stand for it and physically fights all the Koreans who come to abduct Jinro. Kespa 2.0 gets a tank from the South Korean military and, via megaphone, tells the oGs house that if they don't kick Jinro out, they'll run through the team house with the tank. MC sends a hallucinated cardboard Jinro out front, but they don't buy it and start moving the tank towards the house. The Suicide Toss himself jumps out of the house and refuses to move, but he can't break the contain and it looks like he's about to lose to 1-1-1 yet again.
All of this is covered live on American news channels, and there's a lot of controversy about US ESPORTS figures being kicked out of Korea (as well as the imbalance of 1-1-1). The US looks at sending military personnel to extract all foreign SC2 players out of Korea (for their safety). But this action is stalled, as they're forced to debate who the foreigners really are -- do they extract Huk, or is he basically Korean because he trained there? What about Select? Jinro can speak Korean...
Meanwhile, Destiny somehow prevents coL's case against him (for breaching his contract) reaching real court, and gets his 12,000 live stream-watchers to campaign for it to happen on Judge Judy. Judge Judy's decision will indirectly affect whether coL has a case to force Stephano to hold to their contract, which would indirectly put Naniwa back in TSL and possibly lessen Kespa 2.0's hatred of foreigners, possibly saving MC's life and the Starcraft 2 scene in general.
It is the most popular episode of Judge Judy ever. Totalbiscuit shoutcasts it live. IdrA doesn't watch.
coL calls two surprise witnesses -- CombatEx and Deezer, to testify against Destiny's character. Destiny has his 12,000 fans all call Deezer's cell phone while he testifies, causing the cell phone to explode. They think it's a bomb, and the episode of Judge Judy is cancelled as everyone is evacuated from the building. The United States opens an investigation of Haypro.
Reddit explodes for a third time. The United States opens another investigation of Haypro.
With Judge Judy cancelled, there seems to be no end to the chaos. The Suicide Toss holds his ground, but the Starcraft 2 Korean Player Committee continues to edge their tank forward. The nation of France has surrendered to coL long ago, but things have spiraled too far out of control. What can stop this madness? What will save Starcraft 2?
MC and the tank are at a standstill for hours. Moletrap arrives to interrupt, but he has a hard time analyzing what's going on and eventually leaves. They go well into night, until the clock strikes 12 and the day turns from Sunday...
... to Funday Monday. Everyone stops paying attention to the crisis because on Funday Monday, it's not about whether you win or lose, but about having fun! Kespa 2.0 is perplexed by the sudden drop in intensity. They want to solve the problem now. They compromise by extending a challenge to the foreign Starcraft community.
A Funday Monday throwdown. Korea versus the World. If Korea wins, foreigners not only don't get to play in the GSL ever again, but they're not allowed to play Starcraft 2 ever again. If the World wins, their players can continue to live and train in Korea and play in their leagues.
The catch? They will play a single team monobattle to determine the victor.
The World picks Naniwa, Idra, and Dimaga for their team. The Koreans pick three random Terrans from the ladder. Day[9] live casts.
Naniwa picks Collossi. Idra picks mutalisks. Dimaga picks infestors. The Koreans just all pick MULEs.
The Koreans start the game with a triple proxy orbital rush. They attack with 30 SCVs and rush Idra's base, building bunkers to hide in and repairing each other. Idra types "lol", "gg", and leaves the game. Meanwhile, the Koreans just use MULEs for money, allowing them to build 13 more orbital commands around the map.
But Dimaga's infestors are out. He ventures forth and starts fungaling the roving SCV army, destroying it completely. But the 20 orbital commands allow the Koreans to rebuild their army very quickly, and they send a second wave towards Dimaga's base. Dimaga fungals the SCV army again.
But wait! During the middle of this match, Patch 1.4 has suddenly activated, and Fungal Growth no longer deals the damage it used to. (Additionally, the World players are no longer being invited by people they don't know, like Oprah and John Boehner, into random chat channels.) The SCVs barely survive, repair each other, and blitz Dimaga's base.
All seems lost for the World team. But suddenly, out of the blue, six collosus enter the fray. With a single voip of their lasers, the entire SCV army has been destroyed. Naniwa pushes with his collossi to the Terrans' bases and destroys all their buildings... except for their orbitals, which float to the corners of the map, where, because Idra prematurely GG'd, they have no flying units to attack.
The monobattle ends in a stalemate.
With nothing resolved, Kespa 2.0 moves forward with their tank, ready to flatten MC, the Suicide Toss, if they're forced. They're about to run him over when they look through the port and see that it's NOT MC standing before them, but Slayers`Boxer!
The collective SC2 Korean Player Committee hops out of the tank. Next to Slayers`Boxer is Day[9]. The two of them have traveled to the heart of this international crisis to save ESPORTS. Boxer and Day[9] plead with Kespa 2.0 to reconsider their actions.
The Korean Players Association, moved by Boxer's heroism and Day[9]'s infectious charm, agree to back down. Foreigners are allowed to train and compete with Koreans again. ESPORTS is saved.
And still nobody knows who Stephano is playing for.
