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@JonGalt: Honestly I think it's interesting that society thinks that it should be that marriages should be strictly monogamous. If we look at the animal kingdom, we observe that they are not monogamous at all. They just have sex with whoever. Of course, I'm trivializing things of course, and there are many things that I don't know (so please someone correct me if I say something outright false), but for the most part, animals are not monogamous.
Sure they might go for "strongest" in the pack or some other criteria, but I don't think they enforce the same strict rules that humans do. Seems a little odd to me that humans would decide that we should practice monogamy where animals do not. As I see it, humans are simply animals with a greater thought capacity.
However, I strongly suspect that the practice of monogamy came from religion. I'm not trying to start something here, but I just speculate that monogamy had its origins in religion, probably Christianity if I were to guess.
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Pootie too good!4331 Posts
On March 01 2015 15:14 Frudgey wrote:
@JonGalt: Honestly I think it's interesting that society thinks that it should be that marriages should be strictly monogamous. If we look at the animal kingdom, we observe that they are not monogamous at all. They just have sex with whoever. Of course, I'm trivializing things of course, and there are many things that I don't know (so please someone correct me if I say something outright false), but for the most part, animals are not monogamous.
Sure they might go for "strongest" in the pack or some other criteria, but I don't think they enforce the same strict rules that humans do. Seems a little odd to me that humans would decide that we should practice monogamy where animals do not. As I see it, humans are simply animals with a greater thought capacity.
However, I strongly suspect that the practice of monogamy came from religion. I'm not trying to start something here, but I just speculate that monogamy had its origins in religion, probably Christianity if I were to guess.
Yeah and that's something I pretty much believe too. You make a lot of good points.
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On March 01 2015 14:57 JonGalt wrote:Show nested quote +On March 01 2015 12:36 Scip wrote:On March 01 2015 12:27 JonGalt wrote:On March 01 2015 07:33 Navi wrote:
good to see u guys discussing the finer things in life.
pulled pork ftw this guy knows what's up. @eppa I don't know what 3/5 nose means but I think you should do it. Go hard homie. Ps what is everybody's feelings on open relationships / marriages? You've already got a wife at home, why the extra effort of going outside your house to fuck unless your wife isn't up for it or your mistress comes to your home, in which case DAYUM son it's hard not to be judgmental after growing up in a society that celebrates strict monogamy so much but I try actually you know what, I can see an open marriage working. You got yourself married, thought it means fucks given for the rest of your days, but you was so wrong. Marriage is great otherwise tho and your wife doesn't mind. I guess? Even if I was in such an arrangement I'd probably not want it to be public. It basically says that your wife doesn't fuck you enough, that she doesn't fuck you well enough or that you are one greedy fucker. None of which are very flattering for either you or your partner. Maybe I'm just a really jealous person. You guys don't even know how much I flip my shit when Teut decides to duoQ with marten instead of doing whatever with me. it just seems to me that there are so many beautiful people in this world, men and women, that one could never truly love a single individual enough so that it would completely block out there interest or intrigue in the other gorgeous people that inhabit your lifetime.
now I know that most societies push the envelope or ideal that monogamy is the best and most popular decision but at times I just don't understand that. I totally understand people who can only be with one person. Someone a person can only understand the jealousy that goes with one person. I get that. But I am someone, for whatever reason, whatever upbringing, whatever social status, or whatever ideals that were instilled in me as I grew up - I developed in a way such that I can be with the one woman who I will create children with AND wake up next to every single day but at the same time there are many women in this world I still love to a lesser extent but to an extent that is high enough that I would like to be intimate with that I would like to show my true feelings toward them. That was the most worst run on sentence ever but I don't care. I just hope that there are other people out there who understand what I am feeling.
i don't agree with the bold part. i'd be perfectly willing to commit my entire life to a single individual on the sole basis that it was reciprocated. however i think that it is very difficult to find individuals that feel similarly today.
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Pootie too good!4331 Posts
On March 01 2015 15:27 Frolossus wrote:Show nested quote +On March 01 2015 14:57 JonGalt wrote:On March 01 2015 12:36 Scip wrote:On March 01 2015 12:27 JonGalt wrote:On March 01 2015 07:33 Navi wrote:
good to see u guys discussing the finer things in life.
pulled pork ftw this guy knows what's up. @eppa I don't know what 3/5 nose means but I think you should do it. Go hard homie. Ps what is everybody's feelings on open relationships / marriages? You've already got a wife at home, why the extra effort of going outside your house to fuck unless your wife isn't up for it or your mistress comes to your home, in which case DAYUM son it's hard not to be judgmental after growing up in a society that celebrates strict monogamy so much but I try actually you know what, I can see an open marriage working. You got yourself married, thought it means fucks given for the rest of your days, but you was so wrong. Marriage is great otherwise tho and your wife doesn't mind. I guess? Even if I was in such an arrangement I'd probably not want it to be public. It basically says that your wife doesn't fuck you enough, that she doesn't fuck you well enough or that you are one greedy fucker. None of which are very flattering for either you or your partner. Maybe I'm just a really jealous person. You guys don't even know how much I flip my shit when Teut decides to duoQ with marten instead of doing whatever with me. it just seems to me that there are so many beautiful people in this world, men and women, that one could never truly love a single individual enough so that it would completely block out there interest or intrigue in the other gorgeous people that inhabit your lifetime.
now I know that most societies push the envelope or ideal that monogamy is the best and most popular decision but at times I just don't understand that. I totally understand people who can only be with one person. Someone a person can only understand the jealousy that goes with one person. I get that. But I am someone, for whatever reason, whatever upbringing, whatever social status, or whatever ideals that were instilled in me as I grew up - I developed in a way such that I can be with the one woman who I will create children with AND wake up next to every single day but at the same time there are many women in this world I still love to a lesser extent but to an extent that is high enough that I would like to be intimate with that I would like to show my true feelings toward them. That was the most worst run on sentence ever but I don't care. I just hope that there are other people out there who understand what I am feeling. i don't agree with the bold part. i'd be perfectly willing to commit my entire life to a single individual on the sole basis that it was reciprocated. however i think that it is very difficult to find individuals that feel similarly today.
And that's fair. I can understand that. I had grandparents that were married for more than 50 years. But on my grandmother's deathbed she spoke to my grandfather about what he would do with the rest of his life. He went on several dates with women from their church, but in the end he is now with a woman who he AND my grandmother discussed him being with. Nobody in my family will ever dispute how much they loved each other, but even on her deathbed she knew that he should not be alone. And that to me is the most beautiful and perplexing thing. She is great for him to the point I could see her being MY grandmother, but for whatever reason, it wasn't so. I truly believe it is foolish to think that out of the many people in this world, only ONE is TRULY right for you. HOWEVER, that doesn't change the fact that I believe in a soul mate. I just believe that there may be more than you think.
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United States23745 Posts
This vacation was a mistake. I'm not in a good enough spot for this.
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On March 01 2015 15:43 JonGalt wrote:Show nested quote +On March 01 2015 15:27 Frolossus wrote:On March 01 2015 14:57 JonGalt wrote:On March 01 2015 12:36 Scip wrote:On March 01 2015 12:27 JonGalt wrote:On March 01 2015 07:33 Navi wrote:
good to see u guys discussing the finer things in life.
pulled pork ftw this guy knows what's up. @eppa I don't know what 3/5 nose means but I think you should do it. Go hard homie. Ps what is everybody's feelings on open relationships / marriages? You've already got a wife at home, why the extra effort of going outside your house to fuck unless your wife isn't up for it or your mistress comes to your home, in which case DAYUM son it's hard not to be judgmental after growing up in a society that celebrates strict monogamy so much but I try actually you know what, I can see an open marriage working. You got yourself married, thought it means fucks given for the rest of your days, but you was so wrong. Marriage is great otherwise tho and your wife doesn't mind. I guess? Even if I was in such an arrangement I'd probably not want it to be public. It basically says that your wife doesn't fuck you enough, that she doesn't fuck you well enough or that you are one greedy fucker. None of which are very flattering for either you or your partner. Maybe I'm just a really jealous person. You guys don't even know how much I flip my shit when Teut decides to duoQ with marten instead of doing whatever with me. it just seems to me that there are so many beautiful people in this world, men and women, that one could never truly love a single individual enough so that it would completely block out there interest or intrigue in the other gorgeous people that inhabit your lifetime.
now I know that most societies push the envelope or ideal that monogamy is the best and most popular decision but at times I just don't understand that. I totally understand people who can only be with one person. Someone a person can only understand the jealousy that goes with one person. I get that. But I am someone, for whatever reason, whatever upbringing, whatever social status, or whatever ideals that were instilled in me as I grew up - I developed in a way such that I can be with the one woman who I will create children with AND wake up next to every single day but at the same time there are many women in this world I still love to a lesser extent but to an extent that is high enough that I would like to be intimate with that I would like to show my true feelings toward them. That was the most worst run on sentence ever but I don't care. I just hope that there are other people out there who understand what I am feeling. i don't agree with the bold part. i'd be perfectly willing to commit my entire life to a single individual on the sole basis that it was reciprocated. however i think that it is very difficult to find individuals that feel similarly today. And that's fair. I can understand that. I had grandparents that were married for more than 50 years. But on my grandmother's deathbed she spoke to my grandfather about what he would do with the rest of his life. He went on several dates with women from their church, but in the end he is now with a woman who he AND my grandmother discussed him being with. Nobody in my family will ever dispute how much they loved each other, but even on her deathbed she knew that he should not be alone. And that to me is the most beautiful and perplexing thing. She is great for him to the point I could see her being MY grandmother, but for whatever reason, it wasn't so. I truly believe it is foolish to think that out of the many people in this world, only ONE is TRULY right for you. HOWEVER, that doesn't change the fact that I believe in a soul mate. I just believe that there may be more than you think.
not really a fan of the concept of soulmates, it's just an issue that both parties should have roughly equal levels of commitment otherwise they have no business being together
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On March 01 2015 15:14 Frudgey wrote:
Sure they might go for "strongest" in the pack or some other criteria, but I don't think they enforce the same strict rules that humans do. Seems a little odd to me that humans would decide that we should practice monogamy where animals do not. As I see it, humans are simply animals with a greater thought capacity.
We do a lot of things other animals don't, which is a part of that greater thought capacity. I'm not saying that invalidates the entire discussion, but it's probably not the proper way to frame it("animals do it").
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Some species of birds do take partners for life as I recall. However I really don't give a damn what animals do, nor should you look to them as a guidance of what you should or shouldn't do in your life. That's just looking for excuses to do something it sounds like.
So let's stop trying to compare ourselves with the lesser species on the planet. When they actually build a civilization, explore space and come to know the workings of the world around them then maybe the "humans are just animals" stik will have some ground to stand on.
Some people only have eyes for one person, others do not. Humans as a whole are quite diverse and what works for one doesn't mean it'll work for all of them. It's entirely up to the people involved on rather they want to be involved in such things.
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Go poly!
I think it's the future. Maybe. When STDs are more under control, psycholigical aid is cheaper, and laws work with it.
For example - a person with abandonment problematics (dead/disappeared parent for example) looking for endless love could be damaged by poly, but with the help of a psychologist make it better... Or a loner might get left even more alone because everyone else gets with everyone else... (s)he thinks at least.
Me&gf have said that we'll be monogamous, we're a bit jealous both, and would probably not be able to handle it.
While stable poly relationships won't have more STD problems, the unstable ones and people going "OOH I WANNA TRY THAT TOO" could be quite bad...
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United States9316 Posts
Maybe some super old religion that isn't even remembered at all anymore played some kind of role in monogamy, but I think a bigger part was more of society settling down as a whole. Instead of moving all the time taking mates whenever they could with whomever they could (aka a lot of rape involved as well) people actually had standalone homes where they could raise families, so single households actually could form and the parents could work together to raise the children within the household. Having parents work together to raise their kids provides a stability factor and can in turn lead to more well rounded children. Having 3 baby daddies and a single mother could become a destabilizing factor though.
Even today you can see that affect in kids who don't really have parents vs kids with loving parents that try to support them all the way.
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On March 01 2015 17:59 Parnage wrote:
Some species of birds do take partners for life as I recall. However I really don't give a damn what animals do, nor should you look to them as a guidance of what you should or shouldn't do in your life. That's just looking for excuses to do something it sounds like.
So let's stop trying to compare ourselves with the lesser species on the planet. When they actually build a civilization, explore space and come to know the workings of the world around them then maybe the "humans are just animals" stik will have some ground to stand on.
Some people only have eyes for one person, others do not. Humans as a whole are quite diverse and what works for one doesn't mean it'll work for all of them. It's entirely up to the people involved on rather they want to be involved in such things.
I understand the sentiment that just because an animal does something doesn't mean we should do it. If I ever have kids one day that certainly would be something I would say to them. That being said, I think the reason why we think that is because we have a greater intellect than animals do, so we impose "higher standards" on ourselves. Therefore, we think that we should act differently than animals.
And I think we say that say that it would be "wrong" for us to act in similar fashion in animals in some cases because our society has deemed that acting in that way would be "wrong". But does that mean society is right? Why is it that we can't look to the animal kingdom for guidance for our actions? I'm not saying that we should, but I think we would have to ask ourselves why it would be a bad thing. Me personally I think our higher intellect just puts us in a different spot than some other animals.
+ Show Spoiler +But I sometimes think that we're not much different than animals when you break it right down. Ever notice how "might makes right" in the animal kingdom? Like how the powerful animals get to set the rules and standards for all of the other critters? I think human society works in very much the same way. I mean think about it. All of our rules are created by the government or extremely big companies, who also happen to have the most power. I think we think ourselves different, but I really do believe that "might makes right" is the fundamental rule that humans operate on. At least, the rule when that we operate on when you break everything down. I know that I'm not considering many things, and not everyone tries to live their live in accordance to those rules, but I'm just saying for the big picture that's what I think is happening.
Also, while I do agree that humans have superior intellect than other animals on this planet, I don't think that we are inherently "superior", but rather just different. I think because we a greater intellect that gives us a greater capacity for kindness, but also a greater capacity for malice as well. I think a huge thing that also separates us from other animals is our self-awareness.
+ Show Spoiler +However, I think much like animals, humans are motivated by self interest. While yes one might ask why people donate or do similar benevolent things, I think you could still argue that we do those things out of self interest. While it's late right now and I'm a tired panda, if anyone has questions as to what I mean by this let me know and I'll flesh out my thoughts fully on this subject.
So while yes it's true that we've done many things that animals can't hope to accomplish. We have social programs to help those who need it. We've had so many technological advancements. We have medicine for things that ail us (Though that's a whole other conversation altogether) and we created empires. But it is also humans who are responsible for things such as poverty, world wars, Jewish concentration camps, and global warming. If there is anyone who is going to be responsible for this planet's destruction it is going to be us.
All that to say is, I don't think humans are superior than other animals. While we have a greater intellect than them, I don't think that makes us "better" than them. I think it just makes us different. Of course my entire argument becomes a moot point if you think superiority comes from greater intelligence.
No disrespect, but I think this is something that we're just going to have to agree to disagree on, Parnage.
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Czech Republic11293 Posts
On March 01 2015 15:14 Frudgey wrote:
@JonGalt: Honestly I think it's interesting that society thinks that it should be that marriages should be strictly monogamous. If we look at the animal kingdom, we observe that they are not monogamous at all. They just have sex with whoever. Of course, I'm trivializing things of course, and there are many things that I don't know (so please someone correct me if I say something outright false), but for the most part, animals are not monogamous.
Sure they might go for "strongest" in the pack or some other criteria, but I don't think they enforce the same strict rules that humans do. Seems a little odd to me that humans would decide that we should practice monogamy where animals do not. As I see it, humans are simply animals with a greater thought capacity.
However, I strongly suspect that the practice of monogamy came from religion. I'm not trying to start something here, but I just speculate that monogamy had its origins in religion, probably Christianity if I were to guess.
Grand majority of animals that seem monogamous on the surface (and were thought to be perfectly monogamous until recently) are actually not at all faithful. There are some species that are strictly monogamous, but those are extremely rare indeed. Even a lot of birds that make mates for life that Parnage mentions usually aren't strictly monogamous.
On March 01 2015 19:18 Frudgey wrote:Show nested quote +On March 01 2015 17:59 Parnage wrote:
Some species of birds do take partners for life as I recall. However I really don't give a damn what animals do, nor should you look to them as a guidance of what you should or shouldn't do in your life. That's just looking for excuses to do something it sounds like.
So let's stop trying to compare ourselves with the lesser species on the planet. When they actually build a civilization, explore space and come to know the workings of the world around them then maybe the "humans are just animals" stik will have some ground to stand on.
Some people only have eyes for one person, others do not. Humans as a whole are quite diverse and what works for one doesn't mean it'll work for all of them. It's entirely up to the people involved on rather they want to be involved in such things. I understand the sentiment that just because an animal does something doesn't mean we should do it. If I ever have kids one day that certainly would be something I would say to them. That being said, I think the reason why we think that is because we have a greater intellect than animals do, so we impose "higher standards" on ourselves. Therefore, we think that we should act differently than animals. And I think we say that say that it would be "wrong" for us to act in similar fashion in animals in some cases because our society has deemed that acting in that way would be "wrong". But does that mean society is right? Why is it that we can't look to the animal kingdom for guidance for our actions? I'm not saying that we should, but I think we would have to ask ourselves why it would be a bad thing. Me personally I think our higher intellect just puts us in a different spot than some other animals. + Show Spoiler +But I sometimes think that we're not much different than animals when you break it right down. Ever notice how "might makes right" in the animal kingdom? Like how the powerful animals get to set the rules and standards for all of the other critters? I think human society works in very much the same way. I mean think about it. All of our rules are created by the government or extremely big companies, who also happen to have the most power. I think we think ourselves different, but I really do believe that "might makes right" is the fundamental rule that humans operate on. At least, the rule when that we operate on when you break everything down. I know that I'm not considering many things, and not everyone tries to live their live in accordance to those rules, but I'm just saying for the big picture that's what I think is happening. Also, while I do agree that humans have superior intellect than other animals on this planet, I don't think that we are inherently "superior", but rather just different. I think because we a greater intellect that gives us a greater capacity for kindness, but also a greater capacity for malice as well. I think a huge thing that also separates us from other animals is our self-awareness. + Show Spoiler +However, I think much like animals, humans are motivated by self interest. While yes one might ask why people donate or do similar benevolent things, I think you could still argue that we do those things out of self interest. While it's late right now and I'm a tired panda, if anyone has questions as to what I mean by this let me know and I'll flesh out my thoughts fully on this subject. So while yes it's true that we've done many things that animals can't hope to accomplish. We have social programs to help those who need it. We've had so many technological advancements. We have medicine for things that ail us (Though that's a whole other conversation altogether) and we created empires. But it is also humans who are responsible for things such as poverty, world wars, Jewish concentration camps, and global warming. If there is anyone who is going to be responsible for this planet's destruction it is going to be us. All that to say is, I don't think humans are superior than other animals. While we have a greater intellect than them, I don't think that makes us "better" than them. I think it just makes us different. Of course my entire argument becomes a moot point if you think superiority comes from greater intelligence. No disrespect, but I think this is something that we're just going to have to agree to disagree on, Parnage.
I think that looking at animal kingdom might help us understand our nature better, but that only tangentially helps us decide what is right and what is wrong. The reason why we shouldn't look for guidance, but only for information in the animal kingdom is because the animal kingdom is a TERRIBLE fucking place to live.
I think saying that might makes right in our society is inaccurate. Might makes laws, but we all know that laws can be and often are unjust. Our sense of right and wrong can be influenced by law, but it does not depend on it.
I am not sure what you mean by saying that we aren't any "better" than other animals. Do you mean that you do not value humans any more than you value other animals, or just pointing to the obvious fact that there is no such thing as objective value?
@Parnage: humans are just animals, but the word "just" might as well be used sarcastically in that statement lol
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Animals tend to choose one behavior and stick to it. Humans are the only ones that vary between the two. Anyway marriage being only between two parties is a legal issue I think. Sure it may have started out as Religious thing but now days it's really about the law. Creating a system that allows polygamy sounds like a nightmare for law makers. Who gets custody of children? What happens in divorce? etc. etc.
As for open marriages as others have said it's really up to the people involved. Just talk to your partner like the adult you are. Too many people would rather avoid an issue that puts strain on their relationship until it's too far gone. A big issue from what I read id sexual capability. Some people just have different sex drives but they never really talk about it then one party goes behind the other parties back to fulfill this desire. This doesn't make sense to me.
People treat love as a binary emotion when it's far too complicated for that. It's entirely possible you can love multiple partners but if you engage in a marriage with one then you need to take responsibility for that. You can't just use the excuse of love to dodge responsibility.
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On March 01 2015 14:57 JonGalt wrote:Show nested quote +On March 01 2015 12:36 Scip wrote:On March 01 2015 12:27 JonGalt wrote:On March 01 2015 07:33 Navi wrote:
good to see u guys discussing the finer things in life.
pulled pork ftw this guy knows what's up. @eppa I don't know what 3/5 nose means but I think you should do it. Go hard homie. Ps what is everybody's feelings on open relationships / marriages? You've already got a wife at home, why the extra effort of going outside your house to fuck unless your wife isn't up for it or your mistress comes to your home, in which case DAYUM son it's hard not to be judgmental after growing up in a society that celebrates strict monogamy so much but I try actually you know what, I can see an open marriage working. You got yourself married, thought it means fucks given for the rest of your days, but you was so wrong. Marriage is great otherwise tho and your wife doesn't mind. I guess? Even if I was in such an arrangement I'd probably not want it to be public. It basically says that your wife doesn't fuck you enough, that she doesn't fuck you well enough or that you are one greedy fucker. None of which are very flattering for either you or your partner. Maybe I'm just a really jealous person. You guys don't even know how much I flip my shit when Teut decides to duoQ with marten instead of doing whatever with me. see that is my thing. In many of my previous relationships I have been told that I was not jealous enough. That was always strange to me. You know I was with you. You know that we were together. And yet for whatever reason you were insecure enough such that given a certain circumstance I was not angry or emotional enough to provoke some sort of weird rage to win you back even though that at the end of the day or night I knew you were coming back to me. I never got jealousy it never made sense to me.
classic women logic. you're supposed to value her so much and be so scared of losing her that you'll do anything to "win her back" or whatever
they want to feel desired; i guess the whole stoic male thing gets old LOL
problem is we apply man logic and we're like "well shit if she doesnt really want me I can't do anything about it my feelings are irrelevant"
but to women feelings are super important so it doesnt work like that at all
as far as i can tell 90% of relationship problems are caused by man applying their logic to women and vice versa.
probably less than 90% actually because of all the shitty people doing shitty things but yea you are shipped in to fill the job template of bf/gf and you have no idea what sort of expectations they might have for that so things are likely to be rocky at the beginning.
maybe more like 40% misunderstanding 40% selfishness and 20% shitty people being shitty
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Czech Republic11293 Posts
On March 01 2015 20:21 Numy wrote:
Animals tend to choose one behavior and stick to it. Humans are the only ones that vary between the two. Anyway marriage being only between two parties is a legal issue I think. Sure it may have started out as Religious thing but now days it's really about the law. Creating a system that allows polygamy sounds like a nightmare for law makers. Who gets custody of children? What happens in divorce? etc. etc.
As for open marriages as others have said it's really up to the people involved. Just talk to your partner like the adult you are. Too many people would rather avoid an issue that puts strain on their relationship until it's too far gone. A big issue from what I read id sexual capability. Some people just have different sex drives but they never really talk about it then one party goes behind the other parties back to fulfill this desire. This doesn't make sense to me.
People treat love as a binary emotion when it's far too complicated for that. It's entirely possible you can love multiple partners but if you engage in a marriage with one then you need to take responsibility for that. You can't just use the excuse of love to dodge responsibility.
Who says it's your responsibility to remain strictly monogamous in a marriage
I don't think you can really go ahead and say that open marriage is immoral or irresponsible when done with the consent of both partners, I think that at worst it can be impractical (and difficult to get the consent).
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On March 01 2015 21:33 Scip wrote:Show nested quote +On March 01 2015 20:21 Numy wrote:
Animals tend to choose one behavior and stick to it. Humans are the only ones that vary between the two. Anyway marriage being only between two parties is a legal issue I think. Sure it may have started out as Religious thing but now days it's really about the law. Creating a system that allows polygamy sounds like a nightmare for law makers. Who gets custody of children? What happens in divorce? etc. etc.
As for open marriages as others have said it's really up to the people involved. Just talk to your partner like the adult you are. Too many people would rather avoid an issue that puts strain on their relationship until it's too far gone. A big issue from what I read id sexual capability. Some people just have different sex drives but they never really talk about it then one party goes behind the other parties back to fulfill this desire. This doesn't make sense to me.
People treat love as a binary emotion when it's far too complicated for that. It's entirely possible you can love multiple partners but if you engage in a marriage with one then you need to take responsibility for that. You can't just use the excuse of love to dodge responsibility. Who says it's your responsibility to remain strictly monogamous in a marriage I don't think you can really go ahead and say that open marriage is immoral or irresponsible when done with the consent of both partners, I think that at worst it can be impractical (and difficult to get the consent).
I never said it was your responsibility to remain in a strictly monogamous marriage. Please don't put words into my mouth. I said the marriage is still your responsibility regardless of if you love more than one person. You committed to it so abandoning that person is irresponsible. The responsible thing would be talking to that person and trying to come up with a compromise.
Too many people just dodge the responsibility when things get tough by claiming love for another. That is what I said is wrong. Love is complicated and messy. Values and people can change over time but you still made a commitment even if things change. It's your responsibility to find a compromise/solution instead of just abandoning it all.
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Czech Republic11293 Posts
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United Kingdom30775 Posts
There's nothing "wrong" with anything to do with polygamy, it's just another sexual preference in our existence that some people favour over monagamy. Who cares if animals do or don't do it, if people hate you for it or if nobody else on this planet ever did it. You are you and you feel a particular way and nothing will change that.
I know this sounds silly but it's just like being gay was, although possibly to a lesser extent. Society may frown upon you for a sexual preference but it doesn't mean it is bad or anything like that, society is just very ignorant to the breadth of desires that people have. Especially when religion is brought into it.
You should be careful defining what you want though because many open relationships consist of just being able to have sex with other people and nothing more but it sounds like, to a lesser extent, that you want to share your emotions and seemingly have a relationship with multiple people. That's perfectly fine too but communication is absolutely the key to everything in a relationship, boundaries etc must be drawn or not drawn together to stop any problems in the future.
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Pootie too good!4331 Posts
On March 01 2015 21:11 Eppa! wrote:
Hungover zzz.
Yeah, but how about the girl with the 3/5 nose!??
On March 01 2015 22:20 Holyflare wrote:
There's nothing "wrong" with anything to do with polygamy, it's just another sexual preference in our existence that some people favour over monagamy. Who cares if animals do or don't do it, if people hate you for it or if nobody else on this planet ever did it. You are you and you feel a particular way and nothing will change that.
I know this sounds silly but it's just like being gay was, although possibly to a lesser extent. Society may frown upon you for a sexual preference but it doesn't mean it is bad or anything like that, society is just very ignorant to the breadth of desires that people have. Especially when religion is brought into it.
You should be careful defining what you want though because many open relationships consist of just being able to have sex with other people and nothing more but it sounds like, to a lesser extent, that you want to share your emotions and seemingly have a relationship with multiple people. That's perfectly fine too but communication is absolutely the key to everything in a relationship, boundaries etc must be drawn or not drawn together to stop any problems in the future.
See and that's the thing, I know there is a woman out there who I want to have children with and wake up next to every day, but there are also some women who I connect with on the same level, but to a lesser extent. It's a strange feeling to have this wanting and need for monogamy, but know of multiple women that would also be willing to share a smaller part of my life with. I will absolutely be PERFECTLY happy and more content than I ever could have imagined with this woman I know, monogamy and all, it just seems to me that with all the cheating and infidelity in the world, polygamy would be a more open discussion. But as it stands you are either a slut or a playa. A species of hypocrites we are.
@teut Yeah that makes sense. Like it never made sense to me when a girl was like I wish you'd be jealous because it shows me how much you care. Uhm what? It's strange but yeah, you really have to apply a woman's or man's logic to understand your partner, but how can one do that effectively without ever knowing what it's like to be the opposite sex.
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EPT
