Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Mafia - Page 42

There's something about being an only child. It makes you... spoiled. From a young age, you're given the world--toys, money, whatever--you have anything that your heart desires. You have all the love that your parents could offer. Sometimes it feels as if, well, they would die for you.

Of course, when parents tell that to their children, the assumption is that a life-or-death situation will not arise.

Draco Malfoy, aged 17, cut off from the outside Wizarding world. For the last year, all he has known is servitude to Voldemort, a cruel master who keeps close tabs on him. Malfoy is beaten, and though on the outside he seems beaten, cowed, that is the farthest thing from truth.

Malfoy is going to kill Voldemort.

He has spent the past month preparing, studying everything, learning to get past Voldemort's defenses. One night, when the house is nearly devoid of the other Death Eaters, Malfoy makes his move. Voldemort is sitting in his high-backed chair, facing the fire. Malfoy creeps up, wand at the ready--Voldemort will never see it coming.

As Malfoy reveals himself and screams the killing curse, the green bolt of light flies straight for Voldemort's face! Voldemort is going to die! And then suddenly, an orange hole opens up in front of Voldemort, sucking in the beam.

Kilometers away, a blue hole opens up, spitting the curse at Lucius Malfoy, who is infiltrating Hogwarts. He doesn't even have time to react, though his wife does. Backing away from her husband's smoking body, Narcissa Malfoy forgets where she is and falls backward off the astronomy tower, just like that old kook did at the end of Book 6.

+ Show Spoiler +

Back at the mansion, Voldemort smiles.

"lolumad?" He asks. Then, he picks up his wand and proceeds to kill Draco Malfoy.

My name is Bill Murray, and I am the headmaster of Hogwarts school of wizardry and magic. I have retained this position for many years, and was appointed to it by Mr. Caller, the head minister at the Ministry of Magic. It is a good day to be me. Recently, due to my perceived low performances of my students, I decided to hone their wizardling abilities even more. I hosted a contest of sorts. I told the students and professors alike what I was doing.

“There is to be a new test for my students to determine their strengths and see who really possess the strength to fight the dark lord. I will be selecting members of the students and professors at random, and assigning them responsibilities. Those of you who are not specifically contacted by me are free of the game and will continue with life as normal. The rest of you must prove your worth, or be thrown out of my school. The chances of death are low, but they are still there. Good luck.”

As soon as I finished announcing this, I began my selection, and after choosing 15 people at random I realized that I was thinking too small, I had to think larger. I then chose another 5 people from outside the school, who had no idea what was going on. It did not matter, they were part of the game now. They were powerful in their own right as well, meaning no contact was needed to let them know they were now in a life or death game. With my contestants playing, I flicked my wand and muttered some gibberish sounding word and my 15 players inside the school were contacted. The game was on.


After a rigorous battle, my contestants were doing well. Three professors were down, two students, and two parents of one of the students. They died as a family, I thought it was almost poetic. I gazed around my office and smiled. It was good to be me. Using my orb of scrying, I began to follow the progress of one Harry Potter. It was there he noticed a luna lovegood creeping up behind him. He grinned, this was going to be a good fight he thought. He watched the silent figures as luna motioned to capture potters attention. He turned and noticing her, he watched her raise her wand, and say a few things.

The portrait of Nobby the house elf spoke out beside him “she has broken the rules, she claimed to be the secret role of crazy slut”

Sighing, I looked at the sorting hat. I used that last time to kill the infidels, so something new must be used. Whistling, I watched as Fawkes appeared.

“Go kill that girl, she broke my rule of revealing her role in this game, although I never told her she couldn’t do that, regardless kill her”

The phoenix vanished and I turned back to my scrying ball. I watched as a torrential wave of fire enveloped the girl, killing her instantly. I continued to watch as the fire rolled over Harry and three other players as they happened to be too close to the magical beast. What is a few deaths, they knew the unspoken rule of I change things to suit my whim, for I am BILL MURRAY.