yes, although the story is banal, the way that it is written quite pleases me. educate yourself for some creativity, give more insight into the characters and make them more interesting. pick a theme that is more appealing to the potential reader. the motivation that made you write those lines qualifies you to be a writer. keep it running.

LuMiX

China5757 Posts

January 15 2009 23:35 GMT

#383

lol this hasnt been updated in awhile

GHOSTCLAW

United States17042 Posts

January 15 2009 23:42 GMT

#384

now that it got bumped i want to know the ending as well.

CharlieMurphy

United States22895 Posts

January 16 2009 00:07 GMT

#385

ban op for writing story in segments and never finishing it.

paper

13196 Posts

January 16 2009 00:15 GMT

#386

he can't write beyond 10k words (iirc) or else he loses his publishing contract

-_-

Headlines

United States482 Posts

October 14 2009 05:07 GMT

#387

On January 16 2009 09:15 paper wrote:
he can't write beyond 10k words (iirc) or else he loses his publishing contract

-_-

Are you serious? If not, I would really like the OP to finish his story, please?

I'm sorry for the major bump, just thought it was a great read, but it's not finished!

GGQ

Canada2653 Posts

October 14 2009 05:10 GMT

#388

oh was this really bumped again?

Headlines

United States482 Posts

October 14 2009 05:16 GMT

#389

On October 14 2009 14:10 GGQ wrote:
oh was this really bumped again?

Again, I'm sorry for the bump I have created. I thought maybe the writer had forgotten about it...

[Edit] So being the idiot I am, I failed to read the last four pages of comments..

Really sorry since the answer is pretty obvious, that this story is finished even if it looks like a major cliffhanger.

OmgIRok

Taiwan2699 Posts

October 14 2009 05:20 GMT

#390

OH NICE BUMP!
I forgot I didn't finish reading it

kidd

United States2848 Posts

October 14 2009 05:45 GMT

#391

god, every time this is bumped I get so excited and then just get so pissed when I realize it is still not finished.

Scaramanga

Australia8093 Posts

October 14 2009 05:53 GMT

#392

God am i the only one that thinks this is a pile of crap and hes making up half the stuff that happened, i mean come on

triangle

United States3803 Posts

October 14 2009 05:59 GMT

#393

This thread should be locked or something to prevent all the ridiculous bumps.

EvilTeletubby

Baltimore, USA22259 Posts

October 14 2009 06:08 GMT

#394

On October 14 2009 14:59 triangle wrote:
This thread should be locked or something to prevent all the ridiculous bumps.

Yeah.

OP, PM me if you want this unlocked.

OneBlueAugust

United States153 Posts

March 04 2011 23:42 GMT

#395

I realize it's been a few years, but if anyone's interested in reading the full version of this story, it's being published on the Amazon Kindle website for $0.99 in a few days under the title One Blue August. I'll update this post with the link once it's live.

I believe I'll be able to publish the full version as a blog as well, but I'm going to have to wait to hear for sure. Until then, if anyone wants the full version and doesn't want to pay for it, shoot me an email at oneblueaugust at gee mail dot com and I'll email over the .doc version. I'm not trying to get a bunch of money out of this or anything, it's just that I was told this could be a good seller on the Kindle site so I figured I'd try it out, as my old publishing deal fell through.

Also, if anyone's interested in reading more, I've got a full-length novel coming out in September.

Oh, and sorry for not posting the rest sooner. I was under contract with a publisher, and apparently they held the rights to all of my literary works until they said otherwise. Basically, they got dibs on whatever I produced, and I wasn't supposed to release it into the public domain unless they gave me their approval. I slipped up and told my agent about this story, and he told me to stop posting it ASAP or risk being in breach of contract.