EPT(1) If you have certain affections for a guy, don't EVER be ugly around him. If you're always ugly, you're out of luck. Don't bother reading the rest of this guide.
(2) If the guy talks to you willingly, offer up sexual favors. Remember, he took precious time out of his day to verb shit in your general direction, repciprocity is king in these kinds of relationships.
(3) Don't be a bitch. I shouldn't have to elaborate on this one.
(4) Always have ... okay you know what im sick of this parallelism bullshit. i'll meet you up at point 5
5. when he's around, just start cooking shit. it doesn't have to be any special occasion or any appopropriate place for it, just bring an electric skillet or something and make a fucking omelet. guys love that kind of shit.
6. you can never have enough fat. but remember: it goes in the mammaries, not the ANYWHERE ELSE
7. no one wants to put up with your shit.
8. misogynists dig vulnerable chicks. visibly carry sandpa
okay im not even making sense anymore
