Shinhan Tank Proleague 14-15 - Preseason Week 2 - Page 3

1. Fuck quantifying extremely negligible things like "and it looks like two dragoons just wandered off and died to 3 seige tanks!" in the midst of an intense dynamic late game. Not only is the fact that a few dragoons died late game completely meaningless in the grand scheme of things, but also naming the number of units involved is usually an absolutely benign fact. Maybe it is worth stating "drop-ship goes down to like 8 scourge" but something such as: "1 lurker dies to 7 marines!" (in a late game scenario) as if there is something notable about the fact that a single zerg lurker died to a number of marines that just happened to be 7 is absolutely pointless. Worse is when someone counts the exact number of turrets or cannons being build in late game (unless this number is out of the ordinary or actually note-able for some reason rule of thumb reason).

2. The phrase "goes down" should not be used to describe every thing that can happen in a game of Starcraft. This generally includes but is not limited to: units/buildings being destroyed, buildings being built, players or strategies being defeated , or the onset of an attack or strategy.

3. Please dear god don't literally make up facts about a strategy you don't understand. Please do not judge a strategy as good or bad when you do not understand it. Also avoid watching a game, assigning no bias to either player, and then once you see a player start to lose immediately backwards rationalizing the game as one player doing a shitty build order. Also avoid making intense illogical presumptions about players strategies from the get go to avoid this and then being "suprised" when the game plays out differently (much more prevalent in sc2 commentators or people wishing they were day[9]). If you find yourself doing this it means you are trying to cover up for lack of game knowledge.

4. Avoid mimicking the vocal tonality of Day[9] (especially common when explaining strategy), Artosis, Sayle, or any other known commentator. Don't steal Sayles catch phrases and inside jokes.

5. Passion with out substance = talk radio.

6. If a joke has been said before by another human being that does not mean that it is good to be used, it means that it does not need to be repeated again unless it is some how relevant. If it is repeated some credit should be given to its originator.

7. Saying something along the lines of: "Puppykiller is moving his vultures in to pick off probes even though there are a lot of dragoons in the natural of Kiante and with this Puppykiller is saying: 'I know I am going to be losing vultures here bro, but your gonna be losing a lot more probes and to me that's a trade I am willing to take.'" Bitch... You don't know shit about what I am thinking let alone a player who is actually good like Sziky. While it is OK to talk about what is going on from an objective standpoint, the next commentator who tries to add narrative to the game from my perspective and puts words in my mouth is getting fucking grudge-matched, even if what they are saying isn't strategically incorrect.