EPTWe reach the home. It's like every other home I've seen in my life. It has a door, some windows, some creepy gothic statues of gargoyles; Nothing strange yet... Stupid omen.
My friend rings the doorbell. For a moment, we look at each other. He's as scared as I am. The door opens. "ALLO! Please come in, please come in," a fat lady instructs us. We both reply politely to the greeting and step inside. The walls are painted a blood red... So are the floors and the ceilings... And the furniture, and the stairs. Odd.
The woman begins leading us to the computer room, where several of the children are waiting. They all wear eye patches, but not all of them have prosthetics yet. Some simply have makeshift crutches, a stick from the forest, or a small metal bar. It must be a middle class home. "Call if you need anything," the lady tells us. "Will do," we respond.
We have the children who want to play use rock paper scissors to determine who will get to play the game of StarCraft. The winner are an orange haired kid named Jacob, about 13 years old, and kid named Mark, who has brown hair and is 11 years old. We have them shake hands before the game, and begin immediately.
Mark chooses random, and spawns as a teal Protoss at 9 on Python. Jacob chooses Zerg, and spawns as a white Zerg at 6. Both children have of course only one arm, and they use it to control the mouse. The keyboard is forgotten, and will never be used. We watch as they pathetically try to split and build their first peons. It's laughable, and we giggle at their frustration until they retaliate with stern, angry looks. We stop laughing. Mark warps a pylon at his natural expansion. He has no idea what he's doing.
![[image loading]](http://img383.imageshack.us/img383/5345/s1qd8.jpg)
Jacob is creating a spawning pool fairly early, as he sends his overlord to meander around 9. When it sees Mark's nexus, and Mark's nexus sees it, both player put two and two together and realise things are about to get dirty. Sending his probe to 6, Mark discovers the spawning pool and immediately makes 2 cannons, however when he sees that just 2 Zergling have been spawned, and Jacob's hatchery is morphing at his expansion, Mark cancels one of the cannons and begins building his nexus; but his nexus is not safe.
![[image loading]](http://img377.imageshack.us/img377/7908/s2gl4.jpg)
Mark's face begins to contort as he watches Jacob's zerglings claw at his poor nexus, bit by bit. Under his breathe I hear him swear to himself "you will pay for this, you slimly cock sucking piece of shit." It frightens me a little.
Soon he sends a probe to do battle with the zerglings, but it's a lost cause, and the probe is forced to retreat.
![[image loading]](http://img182.imageshack.us/img182/7302/s3fw7.jpg)
Two more zerglings attempt to join the fray, but are lost to cannon fire has mark laughs a crazy laugh. A laugh so crazy I might have sworn John Travolta from Broken Arrow was in room if I didn't know better. Jacob yells, "Hooy morzhovy," which if my Russian still holds true, means walrus dick. These kids must have been made amputees on the 7 high seas.
![[image loading]](http://img146.imageshack.us/img146/3323/s4zo3.jpg)
Mark's nexus continues to take punishment as a cannon desperately tries to warp itself in as fast as possible. On it's final legs, the nexus looks all but lost as one brave probe tries to stop the madness.
![[image loading]](http://img329.imageshack.us/img329/1060/s5yb3.jpg)
Thankfully the day is saved as Mark's cannon finally warps in, and Jacob's Zerglings leave nothing but a disgusting pool of blood on Mark's natural's floor.
![[image loading]](http://img143.imageshack.us/img143/1138/s6ur6.jpg)
Meanwhile, at half past 4, Jacob spawns yet another hatchery. However, by some act of god Mark's zealot has had the good sense to go exploring this direction, and thus mining time will be temporarily halted there.
![[image loading]](http://img387.imageshack.us/img387/9213/s7uq0.jpg)
Continuing it's duty, the zealot then walked towards Jacob's main base to see what was what. After sighting a spire and killing a zergling, it had truly earned its place among the greats in Mark's army. However, though it spotted the spire, it was unable to relay its message back to Mark, and thus had worked very hard in vain. It is not known to this day whether or not that zealot survived the events that day.
![[image loading]](http://img502.imageshack.us/img502/6674/s9bj9.jpg)
At the same time, just outside Mark's natural, Jacob begins to set up an encampment, including a spawning hatchery. Evil thoughts begin to fill his brain as a plan is hatched unbeknownst to Mark.
![[image loading]](http://img229.imageshack.us/img229/6158/s10gu9.jpg)
Meanwhile, back in Mark's main base, times were getting tough. So tough, in fact, that all the workers had defected from the cause and began to start a new life elsewhere, where they could work their own hours when they wanted, using a system called "flex time."
Without the hard work of the working class at Mark's main base, things began falling apart, especially when the help of mutalisks, lurkers, scourge, and overlords were recruited.
![[image loading]](http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/5974/s11cw9.jpg)
However, all was not lost for Mark, as a gay couple celebrating their recent marriage began to wreck havoc on Jacob's 7 30 expansion.
![[image loading]](http://img389.imageshack.us/img389/6710/s12tr0.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://img386.imageshack.us/img386/9868/sc13yx7.jpg)
Also working in Mark's favour were the two DTs going to work on Jacob's hatchery at 9. When the hatchery was finally killed, Mark laughed maniacally at the revenge he'd just taken for his poor Nexus.
![[image loading]](http://img170.imageshack.us/img170/817/s14jf5.jpg)
However, the encampment in front of Mark's natural has grown to significant strength. With hope nearly completely down the shitter, Mark makes his final bold attack, which fails miserably as his hand pathetically pushes his mouse back and forth frantically.
![[image loading]](http://img372.imageshack.us/img372/6403/s15jg0.jpg)
Though Mark knows he is about to lose the war, he continues to take solace in heavily one sided battles where he kills many innocents under Jacob's control.
![[image loading]](http://img366.imageshack.us/img366/6391/s16ca5.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://img102.imageshack.us/img102/5076/s17zq1.jpg)
Jacob decides enough is enough, and that he won't let anymore of his poor drones be hurt. The final attack is ordered, and an unstoppable stream of godlike monsters of destruction work their way into Mark's natural.
![[image loading]](http://img167.imageshack.us/img167/8637/s18ib3.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://img167.imageshack.us/img167/9412/s19iu8.jpg)
Angrily, Mark leaves the game as Jacob yells insult after insult while looking at the statistics screen proudly. Suddenly, Mark hops off his chair as we wobbles and whallops on his one leg over to Jacob, undetected. With all his might, he hits Jacob across the back of his head, causing Jacob to fall on the floor. Seconds later, Jacob begins to grab at Mark's leg, using his one arm, and bites it with his mouth causing Mark to yelp in pain as he tumbles to the floor as well.
Suddenly, the fat woman reenters the room, and stares at my friend as he stares back at her. Together, in unison they yell, "CRIPPLE FIGHT!" and things really begin to get out of control. Soon all of the children are fighting, and blood begins to taint the floor, although you can't see it as it's the same colour as the paint. I look at my friend and the fat woman who seem terribly exciting. I shout "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" as I run towards the door of the house to leave. As I run down the walkway away from the house, I hear lightning clash deafiningly loud as a giant bolt hits the house, and it begins to collapse. The noise created is insane, as I continue to run away in the heavy rainfall, looking behind me as the house becomes nothing but a giant pile of rubble.
+ Show Spoiler +
Thanks for reading. I'm not really interested in criticism, so don't bother giving it unless it like, gets you off or something. If you think that's somehow immature or childish, you can feel free to fuck off and die, because nobody likes you. I'm sorry if you feel like you've wasted your time reading this, but you should have had the good sense to stop earlier if you didn't like it. It's a first draft piece written in a bad working environment, so I expect there to be a tonne of faults in it.
Cheers,
Cheers,
A few other random references in there that few people will catch.
