[STL1] Conspiracy Christmas Special

It was one of those cold nights, where work doesn’t seem to come in. Not that I’m complaining, it’s winter time and I get to sit here with some whiskey and watch Starcraft streams, hoping for a good Terran to be on. I got my trusty 1911 and my belt propped up on the desk. I really should go down to the shooting range to get some practice in. Eh, I’ll do it when I decide to close my office.

I was about to leave when I hear ringing at the door. I opened the door and in come a lady who appears to be rich and I guess we can call her features “supple”. I would call her a ham planet, but that wouldn’t get me business with anyone, so I ask if she wanted some whiskey. She declines the offer and I motioned for her to sit down, of which she does.

I get ready for what looks like a new job for me, and ask her:

      “So madam, what is your name?”

      “Ah detective Comrade, you can call me Lrm)Game,”

      “Alright Madam Game, what can I do for you?”

      “I want you to investigate the Scan conspiracy”

I was taken back quite hard. The Scan conspiracy? Last time that I took a stab at this jungle, I lost my right eye, and my partner Gecko almost died from a street shootout. Nothing good came out of that investigation. Scan himself still remains at large, somewhere deep hidden in the depths of the IFU organization. Tackling the IFU mafia will test my detective skills to the max, and I couldn’t even penetrate the surface of this mysterious organization last time. That was 10 years ago, perhaps things have changed.

      “Detective Comrade, I’ll give you $500k down, and another $500k when the investigation is over”

That explains how she was able to buy Sziky. $500k? That’s retirement money, a chance that every detective wants for himself. And that’s the down payment, and another $500k on finish?

      “Alright Madam, here is my card if you need to contact. Note that this is a high risk investigation that you’re asking and that I may not come out of this alive. “

      “I understand. I’ll leave you to your process”

She left, and I got a $500K check on her desk. I take the check, put it in my coat pocket, walk out of my office, and hit the streets towards where I can find my best partner, Gecko.

Man it’s cold tonight.




For the sake of creating an narrative arc, the SBWI Writer's staff decided to start with the second Clan War first.

It is an open secret that Russia's community spent dozens of eSport Dollars on biological experiments, in order to create genetic enhanced super Terrans. We already knew that a Russian Terran can not only defeat a Polar Bear in a real life 1on1, but also kill any foreigner due to their surgically added third arm. The Russian scientists were successful yet another time, showing in the first set of LaGFree vs iwL. Biggus, Terran, strong, faced ZeTy, a bold Peruvian Zerg on Oxide, the TvZ map of STL. The game was quite tense, as Zerg started to throw mass Zerglings into the Terran's choke, even though he couldn't quite kill him with it. As a matter of fact, Biggus already prepared an SKT Terran Build and could throw back the Zerg waves time and time again. Over long he could push out, killed ZeTy's third with impressive Marine micro and defended against a backstab. iwL 1 - 0 LagFree

Next up was Dienmax, a Protoss for LaGFree, against SaCreD from iwL on Colosseum II. This match was a back and forth play as well, even though it was odd. Dienmax opened with Zealot pressure without +1 Upgrade from 5 Gateways, which could be defended relatively easily by Zerg. SaCreD tried to directly counter with Hydralisks, pushed him back but then lost Hydralisks. In the following minutes they wasted their armies on each other, without one of them gaining the upper hand. Dienmax slowly took his third, which then put him in a bit of a lead. Shortly, he had the double amount of supply and eventually took the game and evened the score.

Ex Templar Ace faced ex Latin Gamer Handy in a Zerg vs Terran on Outsider in the third set. Handy opened with a Barracks, while Ace tried to brute force his way in with a group of Zerglings. Here's the twist, Ace saw one Barracks before his Zerglings died. Handy then smartly tried to fake a Fast Expansion by moving his superior Marine force down the choke, chasing away the Overlord, trying to disguise his 3 Barracks Sunken Bust attempt. Ace saw it last minute, took down several Marines with his Zerglings and could thus stall the incoming push. Few minutes later, Handy's forces were destroyed by Ace - iWL was up one set again.

Wapool had the chances to even out the score against Artanis in a Protoss mirror on Overwatch. And that he did. Without explaining it further, it all came down to both playing relatively safe, until Wapool attacked with a larger force against Artanis without Psi Storms. On a related note, Templars should be called Masons nowadays. 2-2!

Tau Cross, set Nr. 5: Ling, Ling, Ling, Muta, Ling, Muta, Spore, Castro (LaGFree) 3 - 2 Fenito (iwL)

Fighting Spirit, set Nr. 6: Dandy, Protoss, recently participating in the ICCup Ladder Main Event against Justice, Terran, winner of the Eric Cartman Award for BM. Dandy opened with a relatively fast Nexus, added four Gateways and took map control. Justice opened with a Siege Expand and was behind from the start, because his CC took ages before it finally landed. Even though Dandy wasted a few Dragoons in some sort of wanna-be Bulldog push without Shuttle, took the game eventually. Justice pushed twice with relatively nice micro, but couldn't help but lose all his army to 1a2a3a masses. LaGFree came out as victor with a 4-2 win!


And now for the upset, that's currently topic of discussions: Los Reyes Del Mambo Evolutions (LRM Evolutions) vs. the international Federation of Untouchables (iFU). The surprises started as the first proof for the existance of the Grinch could be given - LRM's manager tried to spoil everyone's fun by making tons of obvious remarks in several topics. This looked promising!

In the opener of last week's cast the Hungarian monster Zerg Sziky, mercanary, bought and paid for by EywaSC, played against iFU's TvZ specialist Cryoc from Germany. At first it looked interesting, as Cryoc was able to completely neutralize Sziky's Mutalisk harass off two hatcheries and could furthermore push to Sziky's third. He took down Lurkers, few Drones, but lost his Marines shortly after without doing too much damage. Sziky countered with a group of Lurkers and forced Cryoc's Natural CC to lift. This was basically game over, as Cryoc's second push with Tanks and Vessels came in a bit too late and was crushed. LRM was up 1-0.

On Colosseum II Polish trutaCz, the only player who recently really did challenge Sziky, was up against Scan. L_Master introduced the hero no LRM manager wanted, but deserved with "Scan is such a good player, he's really awesome and the heavy favourite" [... two more minutes praising Scan's skill...] "He has played in SOSPA and wasn't THAT horrible". Scan opened with a rather standard Fast Expansion into Marines and Medics, while trutaCz tried to counter with 2 Hatch Mutaliks. This didn't pay off, Scan's base was fortified and only the Natural ComSat was taken down in the harass. Meanwhile, Scan moved out, took down a few Mutas on his way. His attack was finally killed at trutaCz's base. A second attack finished alike, while Zerg was forced to be really defensive. The eventual loss came with a third push including Vessels - the score was even!

Before the third set begun, the moaning started. If that's a coincidence or not - we don't know. Especially since the match between TechnicS (LRM) and Tama (iFU) on Outsider was one of the most interesting ones in the short history of STL. Tama opened with one Gateway against an Overpool, had to face Zergling pressure and started to transition into a very Dragoon heavy build. The game was ultimatively tense. L_Master described Tama's strategy as "ONE BASE POWER AGGRO", his Dragoon pressure on TechnicS' Natural Expansion as "walking Nightmare". Protoss threw Dragoons, Zerg countered with Speedlings. Tama microed very, very well and took some sort of small advantage, while balancing on a razor's blade. It got a bit awkward as the moaning by the muffled voice continued and L_Master mentioned something like "Tama continues to come all over the place". The game went into a sort of stalemate, as the Zerg base was defended well enough against Dragoons and Mutalisks were on their way. However, Protoss adapted and already had Corsairs and Cannons on his Natural Expansion. Zerg then moved in with a large attack, killed the Natural, lost his Mutalisks and had to face Overlord harass. The game was somewhat still even, as Tama continued with DT Harass and drops. One of the harassing DTs had more than 30 kills by the end of the game. In the end Tama only lost because he went out of minerals, while TechnicS himself had only his Natural Expansion running. A really great and recommended game! (LRM 2 - 1 iFU)





It was Lancerx aka. Must aka. SexyManToss aka. everyone's darling's turn to try to level the score in a Protoss mirror vs. Wallace. In the past Wallace excelled, played very well and Lancerx was in some sort of slump, losing against newcomers needlessly. However, Lancer is a master of the Mirror Match, constantly won LANs in Moscow and is one of Defiler's finest players. He showed that by impressively outsmarting the Bulgarian newcomer on Overwatch. Both opened relatively safe, with the two of them getting an early Natural Nexus, with Must being slightly faster. Lancerx camped behind Wallace's bridge with a few Dragoons and a Shuttle plus Reaver. Once Wallace tried to move out, he had to realize Must was already there. Must could stall him, even though he had a smaller army - his only loss a retarded Dragoon, which relied on GPS to cross the bridge. Now the Bulgarian tried to take a detour with his army and moved through his backdoor. This is where Lancer's brilliance showed, he moved across the bridge and went for a counter. His Reaver took down tons of Probes and his Dragoons blocked Wallace's army. After this engagement Lancer lost half of his army, but was able to mine 1700 Minerals per Minute vs. Wallace's 700 Minerals per Minute. That was basically the end of set four. In the next minute Must played safe, defended a last attack and killed even more Probes with another Reaver. iFU 2 - 2 LRM!

On Tau Cross Bonyth and Marwin crushed, two oldschool players in a Protoss vs. Terran. The moaning suddenly stopped and the muffled voice was gone. The game was the least entertaining so far, as Bonyth pressured Marwin from the start without having too much success. The Polish Protoss added Stargates in his main and went for Carriers off two base. Marwin missed his timing window for a push, was countered hard by Bonyth and the game was basically over. With four Carriers the Polish forced the Ukrainian back and put LRM one set ahead again.

By this time iFU's leader eOnzErG realized he had to play himself to prevent a total loss. His opponent on Fighting Spirit was FremAN, a French Protoss, who recently returned. eOn took three bases and five Hatcheries, meaning using a rather ordinary Build. FremAN tried to attack eOn's third with seven Zealots and it first looked like a giant waste, as almost nothing died on Zerg's side. Shortly afterwards it turned out that it wasn't such a bad move after all, as DTs were freely harassing the third without Overlord support. However, eOnzErG decided to use all his Hydras to return the favour and went to the Protoss' Natural. Only one cannon and few Zealots weren't enough to completely throw back the attack. The Natural was under heavy fire for a bit. Protoss once more tried to counter off six Gateways with High Templars and Zealots, but overdid it a bit. The following attack by eOnzErG sealed the deal, iFU 3 - 3 LRM




Hypuuuuuu: THE FIRST DECIDER OF THE SEASON. And that in such an important clan war? That's not right, surely somebody had his fingers in it. Scan was up vs. Sziky, the two strongest players of Defiler and every other tournament. Official statements by ICCup, who obviously kill foreign Brood War since 2007, stated that Scan was playing the hours before this Ace match, because he was seeded into the ICCup Main Event - like Sziky who gave a walk over for the tour. Hence there was apparently some sort of reason that Scan was there for the Clan War in the first place. We call that bullshit and stick with LRM's Grinch, Scan attempted a go on Sziky's live. It's obvious. Scan kills eSports. That he never touched a maphack, played his games fairly, gained his skill by mass gaming with the best and that he was once a member of LRM are all bold lies. Instead we should focus on who he flamed years ago, because that's what kills esports.
Back to the game, the two arch enemies played on Destination. Terran abused the map feature to build a Zergling tight Wall-In and teched to Wraiths off two Starports. Sziky tried a Zergling bust, but couldn't really deal damage. Scan's first two wraiths already took down Overlords and Drones, the second pair did similar. Sziky added Mutalisks and prepared for the next Wraith harass. Scan then moved out with a handful of Marines, forcing back the Zerglings at his Natural, while supporting the ground forces with his Wraith group. Sziky tried to attack the Wraith but was figuratively raped. There are no nice words to express how fast Scan tore apart the Zerg base, Sziky was basically chanceless. The upset! IFU WON! LRM LOST ITS FIRST CW!






The wrath of LRM Evolution's manager is understandable, his suspicions about Scan's recruitment being a fake, just like the moon landing, might be more than the sign of paranoia. Last week's war between iFU and LRM Evolutions really did add a lot of tension to the overall situation. While it seems as if insanity without Limit's chances to reach a qualification spot are close to zero by now, LaGFree, LRM, sas, iFU and PsB are still fighting hardcore. Five teams are one team too much for the play offs!

Let's do it backwards again. The match between AoV and iM) next week will not really matter for the important slots. Both will most likely end where they are now, +-1 match. This sounds worse than it is, given how hard the competition is. On first glimpse this sounds boring, then again, these two clans are somewhat equally strong. We have no idea what the average skill is, but it sure isn't bad. Instead of one sided rapes we could see a tense match and a second ace match. With Poetic and Glio there are two quite interesting newcomers for possible matches, as well as strong trolls like MVP. Who knows, this could be a lot more entertaining than expected.

The other war is far more important. It looks like nothing can beat sas supposedly weak line-up. Even though their ace Sziky has been stolen by LRM shortly before the clan league started, they continued to win four out of four wars against the strongest teams. They already beaten iFU, who for some reason did not choose to use Scan and LaGFree. This means they already defeated two of the four rivals, which makes their qualification spot relatively safe.
Stealthbunnies/PaiN on the other side are shaking a bit. They only faced LRM Evolutions so far and lost, they still have to meet iFU and LaGFree. A very good score, if not a win, is really important for them. Recently their oldschool Protoss and WCG 2004 participant Arcneon trains hardcore, which might be a sign of a harder preparation. Also, DragOn, an uprising Protoss player, could help to overcome whatever sas sends out. This has the reek of ace match to it as well, anything could happen. Let's wait and see.




+ Show Spoiler [Skzlime] +




Speaking for the SBWI Award committee I can officially state that the SBWI Awards voting was not rigged. Posting them on Russian community pages is tradition, them rigging the polls has nothing to do with the international community. We call it blasphemy to imply that Jaevlaterran's secret mead meetings with the Ukrainian mafia had any impact on the outcomes whatsoever. The SBWI is not George Bush and the SBWI was not involved in any conspiracy. Having an own secret hand shake, having a secret room for a golden bat and owning an army of writers does not make a secret society! Also, the NSA confirmed our numbers.

We can't tell you what to think, but we can try. In the spirit of the BW Community mutually supporting each other, we ask you kindly TO VOTE FOR BISUDAGGER (2pac make this blink in neon green, please!) in this SCII voting thing (Round of 16, Group C). Thanks for your attention, have a nice day and choke a rabbit!

Sources

VODs on Youtube - LiquiDpedia - TLPD - Replays, Week 8


Writers: Comradexkcd, GeckoXP