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Active: 1707 users

The Tragedy of Clam

Blogs > DoctorHelvetica
Post a Reply
1 2 3 4 5 Next All
DoctorHelvetica
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States15034 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-26 21:30:08
November 26 2009 20:45 GMT
#1
[image loading]

Tragedy Strikes STX SouL, the inter.clam story

On November 25 2009 19:53 Black Gun wrote:
rofl, on the statistics page the listed calm as "inter.clam"
- Black Gun discovers the first clue behind the heart-wrenching tragedy

Flashback to the Avalon MSL. Inter.Calm defeated Kwanro 3-1 in the finals to claim one of the most prestigious prizes in e-sports, a Starleague championship.

Far away, in The United States, his biggest fan cried. Having become obsessed with Calm's creative play, aggressive style, and unique style of looks; the C- zerg player inter.clam broke down into tears. Having spent hours watching his VODs, trying to emulate his gamestyle, the line between what he thought was himself and what was Calm was beginning to erode. He checked his shelf for a trophy that wouldn't appear, tried to put on glasses that didn't exist. Inter.Clam would show Calm the ultimate form of love, by becoming him.

His transformation took quite a while. Months worth of plastic surgery later, he transformed from a 6'7" african american male, to an incredibly short korean man. When he looked in the mirror, he saw Calm's face, the thrill was as if Calm was standing in his bathroom beside him.

The first week he spent living as Calm in his small studio apartment was exhilarating. He purposely played ICCUP against D- players so his creative Calmesque strategies were sure to work. He constructed a proleague booth out of cardboard around his computer desk, tape recorded the fans cry of "Kim Yoon Hwan Hwaiting"

Before long it was a sad affair. He became angry and disgusted at the man in South Korea, stealing his glory, stealing what was rightfully his. After all, he was inter.clam, not about to be bested by some faker.

Clam saved up all the money he had to fly to Seoul and get a train ticket to the STX Practice House. For hours in the cold he waited outside the house for Calm to exit by himself. Calm finally left with Tossgirl to eat out. Clam followed them, a complete shadow, and sat at a table quite close to their own.

"I have to use the restroom." Calm imparted to his female teammate. This was Clams chance. He followed Calm into the bathroom. Calm stood at the urinal, whistling the new t-ara tune. Clam had hidden a small steel pipe in his jacket, slowly he slipped it out, caressed it between his fingers.

There was blood but there were no screams. Calm gurgled on the first hit, directly to the back of the neck, and collapsed. Calms head held to the steel pipe like Stork's carriers to 3/3 goliaths. Clam panted and put the steel pipe neatly back into his jacket after washing it. Luckily, Calm was a small enough guy to flush down the toilet, disposing of all evidence. Clam put on the clothes of Calm, the glasses. Before flushing the corpse, Clam kissed him on his disfigured forehead. "Goodnight Sweet Prince; you'll live through me now."

This is no slump. This is no "bad luck"

THIS IS A MURDER

Please if you live in Korea, inform the authorities to search the sewer system for the flushed body of Calm and to arrest inter.clam immediately. He is armed and unstable, he must be detained in a mental asylum. Don't put this theory aside so easily, it explains everything and is thus the best explanation.

****
RIP Aaliyah
DivinO
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States4796 Posts
November 26 2009 20:49 GMT
#2
.....5/5.

Dr.Helvetica I think I love you.
LiquipediaBrain in my filth.
cunninglinguists
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
United States925 Posts
November 26 2009 20:50 GMT
#3
lolol
Guilty
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Canada812 Posts
November 26 2009 21:01 GMT
#4
Finally, an explanation!! I see the light!
"How hard could it be?" -J. Clarkson
ryuu_
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States1266 Posts
November 26 2009 21:01 GMT
#5
This explains everything. Get that murdering fake! Calm must be restored to the progaming scene! 5/5 Awesome story.
♣ Jaedong. Stork. Bisu. Calm. NaDa. SC2: Sen, MKP, DRG, MMA, Grubby, NonY, Ret, Jinro, TLO, Sheth, HayprO, Zenio,Taeja,Snute, Sea, Rain, MC,Squirtle,Stephano,Parting ,Life, and HEROOOOO <3
tirentu
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada1257 Posts
November 26 2009 21:03 GMT
#6
I love you.
jambonkingcool
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
Canada186 Posts
November 26 2009 21:05 GMT
#7
I can't tell if this is serious or not. Are there news on fomos about this????
Carnivorous Sheep
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Baa?21244 Posts
November 26 2009 21:06 GMT
#8
I laff'ed.
TranslatorBaa!
tirentu
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada1257 Posts
November 26 2009 21:06 GMT
#9
On November 27 2009 06:05 jambonkingcool wrote:
I can't tell if this is serious or not. Are there news on fomos about this????


Are you Romanian?
DoctorHelvetica
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States15034 Posts
November 26 2009 21:06 GMT
#10
On November 27 2009 06:05 jambonkingcool wrote:
I can't tell if this is serious or not. Are there news on fomos about this????


i believe there is a coverup spearheaded by opposing teams influence in kespa

the mafia might even be involved, this is BIG
RIP Aaliyah
iNcontroL *
Profile Blog Joined July 2004
USA29055 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-11-26 21:07:14
November 26 2009 21:06 GMT
#11
nice writeup
akevin
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
Canada120 Posts
November 26 2009 21:08 GMT
#12
Awesome.
Holgerius
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Sweden16951 Posts
November 26 2009 21:08 GMT
#13
Good stuff!
I believe in the almighty Grötslev! -- I am never serious and you should never believe a thing I say. Including the previous sentence.
d3_crescentia
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States4054 Posts
November 26 2009 21:12 GMT
#14
good grief!
once, not long ago, there was a moon here
andiCR
Profile Blog Joined March 2008
Costa Rica2273 Posts
November 26 2009 21:19 GMT
#15
CLAM!!!!!
Nightmare1795 wrote: I played a guy in bronze who said he was Japanese. That was the only game I ever dropped a nuke, which was purely coincidental.
Tuke
Profile Joined January 2009
Finland1666 Posts
November 26 2009 21:27 GMT
#16
On November 27 2009 06:06 DoctorHelvetica wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 27 2009 06:05 jambonkingcool wrote:
I can't tell if this is serious or not. Are there news on fomos about this????


i believe there is a coverup spearheaded by opposing teams influence in kespa

the mafia might even be involved, this is BIG

oh no, could it be that big?
TeamLiquid CJ Entusman #42
geegee1
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States618 Posts
November 26 2009 21:29 GMT
#17
now i know why hes slumping now
pew pew
jalstar
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
United States8198 Posts
November 26 2009 21:30 GMT
#18
THIS IS A MURDER

5/5
ghostWriter
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States3302 Posts
November 26 2009 21:36 GMT
#19
MY GOD!
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW!
Sullifam
aeroH
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
United States1034 Posts
November 26 2009 21:42 GMT
#20
lol i was wondering what a trag was
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