EPTI have no idea how long they've been out there, and I'm thinking to myself are they pissed at me for making them wait so long? There wasn't any sign, no dog barking, no audible knocks on the door, nothing. I was just letting my cat out.
But now that the door is open, and I'm in nothing more than a pair of boxers - no shorts, no shirt - I can't very well close the door on them. So I try to figure out what's up. They ask me to step outside, I ask if I could put on a pair of slippers first, which they allow me to do, but one of the officers follows me into my room, so I can get my slippers.
I put them on, still wearing nothing but my boxers (and now slippers), and go outside. That's when they tell me there's been multiple reports that someone is selling drugs out of the house. And I'm sure they thought it was me, after all, who answers the door with only boxers on, and the officer that followed me into my room must've seen just how abysmally messy it is.
Now, it's my sister, my mom, and myself in this place. I absolutely despise my sister, and know she's into drugs. It's something I've known since I was five years old, when my dad and sister started doing them. That's an entirely different story, maybe for another time. Anyhow, I don't even remember how the whole thing came about, but they kept asking if there were drugs in the house, and I honestly said that I didn't know, but if there were, they'd be in my sister's area.
I think before this they were trying to get me to allow them to do a search of the house, saying that if nothing was found, that would be the end of it, and if I denied them, they'd be back in a few days with SWAT and a search warrant, because the reports are serious enough that the house is on the watchlist, or whatever.
So, they're trying to get me to sign a form allowing them to search the house, and I'm naturally reluctant, as I've heard about how you should never allow them in, without legal representation or whatever. But I think to myself that I have nothing to hide, and if my sister has anything in the house, she deserves to go to jail.
Finally, I ask if I could call my mom, who's at work. I get my phone from inside, and they allow me to call, but one of the officer's was playing the bad cop role or whatever, and kept going "you're an adult (I'm 19), you don't need your mom's permission to allow us to search the house", I had said that it isn't my house, and I'm not doing anything without her permission. He basically repeated the same thing a few times, and was trying to push me to a decision.
I realize that I probably made a mistake, but after talking on the phone with my mom for a few minutes, at the end one of the same officer says something like "we're busy, and we're not going to wait a fucking hour while you talk to your mom... you're an adult, you can sign the paper, you don't have to ask your mom", before that, I had also asked if she wanted to talk to the officer (the call was on speaker), she said she had wanted to, just to get a grasp of what was going on, and I tried to hand the phone to him, and he went "what do you want me to say? I don't want to talk to her". I end the call with my mom, tell her I have to go, and before I ask if she's leaving the decision in my hands, as she was trying to get input, but I was being hurried up.
I probably made a mistake, but I tried to clear a few things up with them before I signed anything, like asking if they found anything, would I be taken to jail, and things like that. I was freaking out, and I wasn't thinking clearly. But eventually I did sign, and we went inside.
I had said that my sister had a corner in the living room, since we only have a two bedroom. I showed them to it, and they start searching. I don't think they find any drugs, but some needles or something, as they asked if my sister was a diabetic. They eventually finish searching her corner, when the officer that was in my room earlier, decides to make a return trip.
I try to follow him, because it's my room, and naturally no one would want someone going through their stuff, without at least supervising it. The other officer stops me, and asks if I'm okay. I tell him I'm not, show him my shaky hands (and explain that I have occasional tics), and that I'm just not a very confident person. I can break out into stutters and just tongue tie my words immensely when I'm under stress.
He tries to comfort me a bit by telling me I'm not in trouble and all that. But I still try to make a trip to my room, and he stops me again, telling me it isn't necessary. He heads to the kitchen, so I take the other way (we have like a wall island separating the kitchen and living room), and then as he's walking though, I head to the hallway.
I'm obviously jittery, my throat is dry, and my hearts beating away. At this point, I start getting some heartburn (had spaghetti for dinner, which always gives me heartburn). He passes me up in the hallway, and is looking into my room, while the other officer is going through it.
I try to at least come by him, so I can look into the room myself, but he stops me a few feet short. Now, I mentioned earlier that my room is extremely messy, and it is. I don't have a bed, so I have a blanket on the floor, as well as a few pairs of jeans/shirts strewn about.
And my bathroom is messy too, including a shower that drips constantly, and I've kept the door closed for a few months (I just use the shower in the other bathroom, because it also has terrible pressure/heating), so it's kinda nasty.
I'm waiting in the hallway, and after the officer stopped me from going near my room, I asked him if he could get the bottle of Tums off my desk, because at this point, I have a pretty severe case of heartburn. He says "I do too". I jokingly ask if he wants some, and he just goes "No".
The officer searching my room mentions that he found a bunch of small bills in different spots (I have about $200 saved up, that I have hidden, with my social and other important stuff - and then an envelope of a good bit more money that's for a camera/Blizzcon). So, that obviously doesn't look good.
I explain to the other officer that I'm basically a hermit who's absolutely pathetic, and that the money in the envelope is for a convention. I then explain Blizzcon to him a bit.
So, the officer wraps up the search of my room (probably where he spent the most time), and quickly checks my mom's room. Which is much cleaner. They probably spent 2 minutes there.
They go outside, and ask me to come out with them. They basically tell me that my sister is a tweaker, and that she needs to clean up. I nod, and then as they're leaving, they finish it up with "We'll be back."
There was absolutely no worse way they could have ruined my night. I was obviously a bit scatterbrained during our encounter, and visibly nervous, but I was as polite as I could be, and honestly hoped the situation was resolved.
So, they left, and I go check my room, which I hadn't been allowed in since they cam. My $200 is on the floor, so I put that away, and then look for my envelope, which I can't immediately find. I do eventually find it, and count it, and it all appears to be there.
So, I call my mom, and tell her what happened. She's like okay, and at this point I freak out a bit, and basically say my sister has to go. There's a whole long story with my sister, but basically she's the most selfish and disgusting person you will ever meet, who does absolutely nothing to help around the house. She constantly puts me mom on edge, and stresses her out non-stop, but after everything she's done in the past, she still loves her daughter, and doesn't want to put her on the street.
I end the call with her, and try to relax a bit. No matter how much I drink, my throat dries back up in an instant, my heartburn still hasn't subsided (despite taking some Tums that I was denied earlier), and my heart is beating at an alarming pace.
Everything ended shortly after 12am. It's now 2:22am as I type this (started at around 2), and my heart is still beating as fast.
I just can't calm down. I've taken a shower, and tried to slow my breathing a bit. I tried to lay down and go to sleep, but kept getting up because I thought I heard talking, or saw flashing lights.
I've basically resigned myself to the fact that I won't be sleeping tonight, while I worry if a SWAT team is going to be busting in my door, as unlikely as that may seem.
Not sure I expect anyone to read this, as it's a poorly written wall of text, but I think it has helped me ease my mind a bit... even if I am going right back to freaking out as soon as I hit Post message.
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