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Chapter X
Note: Once again, if someone wants to take over for next chapter please say so and I will choose someone.
Chapter XI
Campfire, Finger Food... Insanity?
You sit down and prepare to enjoy a wholesome meal. First you quickly and surgically remove the body parts that are both farthest from the flames and Raithed's anus - his head and right arm. You proceed to cut off chunks of meat, pierce them with the dull knife, and hold them over the campfire. Once roasted to a nice crispy treat, you put a few dabs of soy sauce on it. Raithed is finally being useful to TL. Well, okay, just you. But that's good enough, right? Not only have you satisfied the world's perverse/righteous desire to rid TL of Raithed in as gruesome a fashion as possible, but you are also gaining strength from the nourishment.
As you finish eating the scant pickings from Raithed's arm, you remember a Discovery channel special about how eagles drop turtles on rocks from high altitudes to crack the shell and eat those dopey fuckers. You pick up Raithed's head, do a tiger jump that would have made Mr. Miyagi commit hara-kiri, and toss the skull down like it was a burning AIDS-infested football you caught while making the winning touchdown in the Super Bowl. A loud crack, and ten seconds later you were roasting a small brain on your trusty kebab knife. You remembered faintly another Discovery channel special where it said that mad cow disease came from cows eating other cows' brains. You also remember that one joke about PMS being the same as mad cow disease. Hahahaha, good times. What were you thinking about again? Something important? Oh well, you're hungry, time to eat more. You can't bank on the fact that some other half-dead scrawny kid will be stupid enough to ask you for help. You are America, he was Poland, and death is Germany. Help? Fuck that shit.
All of the sudden you feel wet. Very wet. What the fuck? Was GodSatan punishing you for eating one of his childrensex toys by peeing on you directly? You open your mouth to confirm your hypothesis, but are pleased to find out it's water. Aah, refreshing! Seconds later, the lights turn on as well. It's a blessing! Fate is finally recognizing your achievement! The fire must have triggered the emergency power system. The lights are dim, flickering, but are suitable. You have a good look around:
Having just narrowly escaped death by herpes via Raithed, you feel nearly invincible as you walk down the corridor under the water sprinklers, feeling like Neo in the shitty Matrix sequel, who knows which one. You need to get out of this shitty storyplace as soon as possible. Then you suddenly realize; the walls are mirrored. You take this opportunity to inspect your condition. You see...
EDIT- STOP BALANCING THE POLL, I WILL NOT PRODUCE A HYBRID BLACK ASIAN (WTF YOU PERVERTS), I WILL JUST CHOOSE THE WHITE GUY BECAUSE YOU ARE BEING DICKS. I STRONGLY DOUBT IT IS REALLY THIS EVENLY DIVIDED.
Poll: Your reflection is...
(Vote): A
(Vote): B
(Vote): C
Satisfied with your condition, you begin to continue down the hallway. Your stomach feels a bit weird but that is probably the Raithed that you just consumed. You peer inside the open door - it is completely empty, save for a few rats. You then approach the closed door.
SLAM
AAAAAUUUUGHHHH NOOOOOOOO
SLAM RAA-RAAAUGHRRR
*gurgling sounds* *flesh rending sounds*
Now you KNOW some shit is going on around here besides the occasional murder and cannibalistic act. The door in front of you seems like a very meager barrier between you and whatever the fuck was thrashing away at what you presume is another human being on the other side.
Poll: You decide to...
(Vote): Jam the dull knife in the door, pick up your skirt, and run in the opposite fucking direction.
(Vote): Go back to the first room, pick up a rat, call it Nibbles, befriend it and train it for combat.
(Vote): Take your gun, your sharp knife, and your ballsack and kick the door down with a badass face on.
(Vote): Pick up Raithed, wield the gun. Bust the door down, using Raithed as a meatshield and deterrent.
(Vote): Shoot yourself in the head, this is the fucking end of this shit.
**VOTING ENDS FRIDAY AT 6 PM EST, 7AM SAT TL TIME**
 
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Baa?21244 Posts
To be fair, Asians hold their liquor much better than other races from what I've seen and heard.
This story has also gotten exponentially better since Raithed stopped writing the chapters.
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On March 11 2009 16:46 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
To be fair, Asians hold their liquor much better than other races from what I've seen and heard.
This story has also gotten exponentially better since Raithed stopped writing the chapters.
I think it's a fact that most Asians have a deficiency of a certain enzyme that processes alcohol. In my experience it is very very true. Ever see the Asian flush on a girl? Lol.
EDIT: Thanks lol. Although I guess that's not saying much.
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United States11637 Posts
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On March 11 2009 16:46 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
To be fair, Asians hold their liquor much better than other races from what I've seen and heard.
lol not true at all
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Baa?21244 Posts
Maybe I have a bad sampling of Asians =P
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On March 11 2009 17:16 boesthius wrote:rofl nice afro pick  this one's pretty good, i'm guessing it's incontrol on the other side of the door :o
LOL
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LMAO!!! That racial profiling picture is hilarious. =3
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fanatacist, i don't say it often enough, but i love you, i passionatley love you. This blog has been the funniest thing i've seen in ages .
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On March 11 2009 19:15 kefkalives wrote:
fanatacist, i don't say it often enough, but i love you, i passionatley love you. This blog has been the funniest thing i've seen in ages .
Lol thanks <3
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BTW I don't mean to be harmful in the racist things and I kind of took it out on all 3 evenly I think so yea >>
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Netherlands19138 Posts
This shit is just TOO funny bwahahahahhaa.
DETERRENT!!
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nobody wants to be white hahahahhahaha
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On March 11 2009 17:16 boesthius wrote:rofl nice afro pick this one's pretty good, i'm guessing it's incontrol on the other side of the door :o
bwahahahahha
No way I'm going through there, then.
/me votes "Pick up skirt and run"
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This story has turned awesome.
On March 11 2009 16:46 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
To be fair, Asians hold their liquor much better than other races from what I've seen and heard.
If you count turning red and falling asleep holding your liquor, then yes most asians are good at it.
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Hey assholes, don't try to balance the poll or I'll make him white.
EDIT: I could do a hybrid but that would just be feeding you fuckers.
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Thanks.
Whatever fag rated this a 1 is a little bitch. Is raithed unbanned or something?
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what caught my eyes the most is option A, starcraft
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i have a feeling raithed will be burning in anger when he sees what's been of his series...
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On March 12 2009 08:59 EsX_Raptor wrote:
i have a feeling raithed will be burning in anger when he sees what's been of his series...
he shouldn't; it's so much better
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3 Lions
United States3705 Posts
sweet i always wanted to be a black guy
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If anything Raithed should be proud of the innovations brought onto his original concept.
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You people still need to decide on Asian or Black before voting is over tomorrow, just reminding you poll-balancing assholes. Also, fuck MiniRoman, find a sense of humor.
I will be writing the next part sometime on Saturday if no one else wants to take over yet.
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Actually if you're willing to hand it back to me for a round, I'd like to do XII, I'll have it up by Friday night (I'm PST). I won't have good illustrations though =/
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On March 13 2009 09:06 SpiritoftheTunA wrote:
Actually if you're willing to hand it back to me for a round, I'd like to do XII, I'll have it up by Friday night (I'm PST). I won't have good illustrations though =/
Lol sure. Just waiting for the Black vs. Asian results I guess.
If you do decide to incorporate pictures, I made the icons of the faces in the racial poll the same size as the ? in the GUI-type screen, so you can copy and paste over it n_n
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Voting is closed. When I last saw this before the close, Black was up by 1, so our hero is now black. So suck my dick faggots.
XII coming tomorrow.
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On March 14 2009 13:55 fanatacist wrote:
Voting is closed. When I last saw this before the close, Black was up by 1, so our hero is now black. So suck my dick faggots.
XII coming tomorrow.
lol, it's definitely even now. Maybe I should vote asian :p
I agree though these have gotten better since you started doing. Keep it up!
No offense raithed!
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Next chapter in the next few hours (6). HYPE.
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On March 13 2009 08:36 fanatacist wrote:
You people still need to decide on Asian or Black before voting is over tomorrow, just reminding you poll-balancing assholes. Also, fuck MiniRoman, find a sense of humor.
I will be writing the next part sometime on Saturday if no one else wants to take over yet.
yeah miniroman is a douche
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i40.tinypic.com/2cmvy4g.png)
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