Korea Fever - Page 2

On March 08 2009 22:29 Rekrul wrote:


I think about that rotten feeling every morning from partying the last night. Downing a 2 liter bottle of water while slowly mongrelling down some food as I watch starcraft on the big screen. I think about watching my korean roommates attempt to torture the cat and in my lazy drudging hangover I summon the neccessary will power to get up from my couch and kick the shit out of them and save my precious kitten...even though it's to no avail the torture will continue when I'm gone.

I think about a bit later in the day when one of my rooommates beautiful Korean girlfriends comes over. She sees my fat lazy ass there in pain half asleep on the couch now and gently wakes me up. She asks me in simple polite Korean "Dan would you like me to make you something to eat?" I reply "No." and then the wrath of god is unleashed as she bitches at me in rough Korean that I'll be missing out and that shes cooking anyways and if I don't eat some of her food she'll be offended. I gladly accept. I think about finally getting to eat that food and pretending that it tastes like shit just to get a reaction out of her. Korean girls are so gullible. Then I make sure to tell her how delicious it really was then thank her to make sure she keeps cooking for me in the future.

I think about the 40$/day cleaning ladies that come to the house 2-3 times a week and scrape used condoms off the floor with no complaints happily. I think about scrambling to get all my dirty clothes and give them to her. Do not dare not give a cleaning lady in Korea something to clean. If you don't you risk her going through all your shit and putting stuff that needs to be dry cleaned into the washing machine. Oops sorry! GG 700$ shirt.

I think about how every day I look through all the numbers I got the previous night and can't remember the face of a single one of them. No problem though I spam text them all "hey what are you doing?" in Korean and wait for replies. I get a couple replies. One saying "Who is this?" Blah. Another saying "Hey Dan!! u feeling ok!!! You were drunk last night hehe^^" I reply saying "Yeah I'm ok Haha lets meet up soon." To my delight she replies "How about tonight! I'm busy the rest of the week!" I think about how in Korea life this is so standard and easy compared to America. Then I think of the catch22 of all of this: I feel like fucking shit and would rather rest more than meet this girl. My shot is blown. We contact a little bit anyways throughout the next day and I try texting her the next weekend and I get the reply. "Who is this?" Sigh.

I think about the armies of friends of friends and or girls that end up at my house because people invited them over without telling me. Or they just invited themselves over. No problem though in Korea you never really have to ask to come over and unless the door is locked you should walk right in without knocking. Pure Korean style. I think about slowly coming out of my hungover state as their Korean jokes, jive, and energy give me a second wind. I let them convince me to go to a bar with them as they pour awesome fake Korean whiskey or Soju down my throat. Things are jovial. Yet another amazing night out on the town in Seoul.

I think about everyone being pretty drunk. I think about when the small bill comes for the dranks we had at the bar comes. I think about mostly everyone sitting there scared shitless of that little bill but too scared to speak up and say they don't have money. I watch as they all scatter to the bathroom to avoid paying. I and a few others that remain laugh it up and split up the bill. We let all the flakers come back and start deciding what to do. I think about how fun it is in Korea to be like "we are going to night club....but it's really expensive.." and watching them squirm but saying nothing. Not that we aren't going to let them come anyways but they have to pay that price. Those 5 seconds of shame. That is the price they must pay to their hyungs in Seoul.

I think about the night clubs. I think about the ugly girls that come in and won't shut the fuck up or leave even though I'm giving them hardcore signals to leave. I think about offering them a huge shot of whiskey to scare them away. I think about how they end up taking that shot of whiskey, foiling my plan completely, and having to go down that dirty path with a straight up "Alright time for you to leave bye!" I watch as they slowly slither out of the seat next to me. I feel bad because they know it's because they are ugly but they had hope the moment I was stupid enough to offer them a drink. I think about those lessons learned. I think about the next hot bitch that comes in the room. I offer her a drink and she replies "What are you just going to try and get me drunk?" To which I reply. "Yes." She then replies "Loser." and gets up and leaves. I think about how in America that might be a huge bummer but in Korea it's standard. Next hot girl enters and after a little small talk I offer her a drink. She then replies "What are you just going to try and get me drunk?" To which, after learning my lesson, I reply "No no I just like someone to drink with." To which she replies, "Wrong answer, U should be more straight forward of course all guys want to get us girls drunk to make it easier." Then she gets up and leaves. God damnit why couldn't they have come in the opposite order.

I think about those glory days when I first started going out. How clubbing like that with girls sometimes staying then leaving, sometimes insta leaving, sometimes leaving then coming back, sometimes staying the whole time. It's a real emotional rollercoaster. I think about how after many years it's no longer a rollercoaster but merely a straight line of nothingness. My tolerance has gone up tremendously and even though I barely feel anything from the experience, when you're in Korea you just cannot resist the temptation of that booking club.

I think about the club closing and the waiter trying to rip me off. I mean seriously don't you know who the fuck I am? Trying to overcharge me? LOL. 700$? LOL. I was going to give you 400$ but because you're so fucking disrespectful you get 350$. I think about how in Korea everthing is negotiable and if you are a regular customer you have all the power. I think about how bad that waiter felt getting owned by some white punk that somehow speaks his language. I think about how despite feeling owned he merely submits and says "Ok " and bows as I leave.

I think about the 6am restaurant runs after night club. Amazing food in restaurants packed with many beautiful girls. Half working girls half girls who have been out clubbing all night. Everyone eating their Kimchi and Gogi happily pounding down soju until dawn. I think about how in that exact moment, munching down on a huge overstuffed peice of meat with amazing sauce and tastey leaves to go along with it drunk out of my mind. I realize how horribly fucked up I felt earlier that day and how horribly fucked up I'm going to feel the next. But in my drunken stupor I am at ultimate peace and do not care.

I think about how Korean life is a sick life and I don't want the mother fucking cure.