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nervous

Blogs > Rambling.
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Rambling.
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Canada314 Posts
February 26 2009 11:33 GMT
#1
My grandpa passed over the weekend (btw, I'm not an attention whore looking for your sympathy, eat your heart out Zia). However any sympathy is appreciated, but thats not why I started this thread! Today at prayers, I had to do a reading which took about 5 mins, and that was infront of about 150-200 ppl. I got nervous as hell but delivered flawlessly. I'm a broadcaster and have no problems speaking in a room with a microphone, but when there's a live audience, I get so damn nervous. My heart rate goes up, even my breath stutters a tiny bit, but its pretty much unnoticable. Can anyone give me any advice to control my breathing and heart rate while I'm up there? There's going to be about 200-300 ppl tomorrow for the actual funeral. Any advice would be much appreciated.

~Sexy Jeffrey

*****
An unfortunate person is one who tries to fart but shits instead
Spenguin
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
Australia3316 Posts
February 26 2009 11:34 GMT
#2
Just keep yourself calm, deep breaths and clear your mind.

Sympathies for your grandpa mate RIP
< TeamLiquid CJ Entusman #46 > I came for the Brood War, I stayed for the people.
r.Evo
Profile Joined August 2006
Germany14080 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-26 12:11:25
February 26 2009 12:09 GMT
#3
Pretty basic "meditation" exercise which might work for you. Try to stand or - better in the beginning - sit relaxed.

Close your eyes, try to breath as deeply and as slowly as you can, try to use abdominal breathing while inhaling, get as much air in as possible, then fill your chest with air. Once you feel like you can't take more air in try to exhale (emtpy chest first) as slowly as you can. Get inhaling and exhaling done as slowly as possible; 4x inhaling/exhaling per minute (counting the ticks of a clock works wonders) is okay, 2-3times would be great. Don't overdo it though, the point is to get this done as slow as possible for you; not to start panting after a minute or two :p

Now, each time you inhale and each time you exhale you count one number towards 10. Try to only have the current number in your head. Every time you notice your thoughts slipping away, start from 1 again. This exercise is perfect for controlling breathing/heartrate/getting your head straight, since when you force yourself to breath really, really slow your organism will adjust and slow down heartrate etc. by itself.

GL (:
"We don't make mistakes here, we call it happy little accidents." ~Bob Ross
Loanshark
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
China3094 Posts
February 26 2009 12:10 GMT
#4
You deliver flawlessly, so no problem here.
No dough, no go. And no mercy.
ffswowsucks
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
Greece2294 Posts
February 26 2009 13:54 GMT
#5
Just be yourself no need to make any plans or something. Take a look at the oscars and the Japanese or Korean winners. they are so stressed but so naturally stressed.

sympathies for your granpa from me too. I lost my 2 granpa's and only my grandmothers are alive. Tho I never really met one of the my two grandpa's because he died when I was only 3 y old T_T
Terran in particular is a notoriously strong race for a no brain skillhand bot style.
Elvin_vn
Profile Blog Joined March 2004
Vietnam2038 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-26 14:06:47
February 26 2009 13:58 GMT
#6
It's the chemical release in your brain, once happens, there' s no way to control it.

You can try to get nervous EARLY. Then when you're actually in the speech, the effect of the chemistry will wear off and you'll be calm again.

EDIT: almost forgot, there are drugs that help you calm. Almost every performer take them before their big show.
do not agrue with idiots, they will pull you down to their level and beat you with their experiences
Kennelie
Profile Joined December 2007
United States2296 Posts
February 26 2009 14:23 GMT
#7
Take a xanax.
ya had ya shot kid!
3clipse
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Canada2555 Posts
February 26 2009 14:25 GMT
#8
On February 26 2009 22:58 Elvin_vn wrote:
EDIT: almost forgot, there are drugs that help you calm. Almost every performer take them before their big show.

What? Why haven't I heard of this? xD

But seriously, 95% of people have this automatic response when speaking publicly. I took some drama classes in high school and college and I've been in a couple of theatre productions. While I can say this has vastly increased my confidence and ease onstage, that feeling never completely goes away; you just have to learn to work through it. I don't really know of a whole lot you could do in a short period of time to lessen your nervousness. Building a thick skin takes awhile. The only advice I can really give is to tell yourself that it's a tough thing for ANYONE to do, and most people you are speaking to are aware of this and sympathetic to it. Just try to clear your head of your own ego and self-doubt and focus soley on the subject at hand.

That or drugs.
deepBlu
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
31 Posts
February 26 2009 14:34 GMT
#9
ur grandfather just died... next it's ur father.. then it's u

screw them!!!
from randomness we get innovation // charity, just charity! // laziness kills !!!// screwed up, RE // julio cesar escalante chocalata
emucxg
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
Finland4559 Posts
February 26 2009 14:37 GMT
#10
On February 26 2009 23:34 deepBlu wrote:
ur grandfather just died... next it's ur father.. then it's u

screw them!!!

manner plz...
deepBlu
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
31 Posts
February 26 2009 14:37 GMT
#11
but really it's ur grandpa. u should be really really pissed. this shouldn't even matter whether or not you say anything to the crowd. if u really value ur grandpa, the impact has already been done by the very death alone... what you're doing by saying a speech is just to give solace to the people who are still living and trying to impact their lives... but if u truly value ur grandpa, this shouldn't even be important to you
from randomness we get innovation // charity, just charity! // laziness kills !!!// screwed up, RE // julio cesar escalante chocalata
Rambling.
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
Canada314 Posts
February 26 2009 14:45 GMT
#12
On February 26 2009 23:37 deepBlu wrote:
but really it's ur grandpa. u should be really really pissed. this shouldn't even matter whether or not you say anything to the crowd. if u really value ur grandpa, the impact has already been done by the very death alone... what you're doing by saying a speech is just to give solace to the people who are still living and trying to impact their lives... but if u truly value ur grandpa, this shouldn't even be important to you


It's important to me because im trying to do the best I can for my gramps, he deserves no less.
I'm on my out the door now, thanks for your advice everyone.
An unfortunate person is one who tries to fart but shits instead
deepBlu
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
31 Posts
February 26 2009 14:48 GMT
#13
so take the opportunity to impact the people's lives who rare still lving by telling them to reevaluate their own lives if they havne't already done so. life is really really special and you should make them aware that there isn't a second chacne.. .yadadadada.. .and of course try to tell them what this has done to your, because this is the best time to connect with the people without risk of htem alughing at you because this is a serious moment and they have reason to believe you.

but if it doesn't work, such that they don't really care, then it doesn't matter at all what you say. but if they do care, and they see that this kid from nowhere that most of them barely know gives such a great idea about himself and what everyone else should be doing, then it'll help u

a) make greater connections 9better your own life that you have left)
b) know that your grandpa's death is one step closer to helping people out
c) just telling people what you think and how you feel regarding this subject, you are helping yourself cementing your own philosophical goals and opinions so do it well, because you'll want to true to yourself here as it's much easier to follow it and what you said as long as you live than it is to follow what you thought and didn't say (this rules applies to most people i thin)

one idea i would suggest is making everyone here imagine themselves as being part near death or telling them to imagine themselves dying and trying to make them think what would they do in our grandpa's situation. what regrets they have, what goals do they have left to accomplish, which people would they like finish their relations with, what new goals they would set for themselves in the time they have left. because if they do this, then they will most likely be more true and think more intrinsically to themselves than any other time in their lives, and this is important to ppl. and whatever things they think about, they'll connectwith those around them, perhaps even helping build social projects or inspiring even better ideas or just become better people in the end, or it could send them to revaluate their own goals and fight even harder for them. but overall generally, it's going to make it better for everyone else, and people will be quicker/smatter/ in their actions because they'll be more reminded of the scarcity that is their life
from randomness we get innovation // charity, just charity! // laziness kills !!!// screwed up, RE // julio cesar escalante chocalata
deepBlu
Profile Blog Joined February 2009
31 Posts
February 26 2009 14:51 GMT
#14
fck it bye bye, i wrote that way befolre you posted that msg

but really, in response, it's not for your grandpa, he's already dead. it's for the people who are still living. just way i think of thigns, what can you do really for your grandpa// nohting much. the'ere s no afterlife... no way he'll come back to life...
from randomness we get innovation // charity, just charity! // laziness kills !!!// screwed up, RE // julio cesar escalante chocalata
Reason
Profile Blog Joined June 2006
United Kingdom2770 Posts
Last Edited: 2009-02-26 15:32:49
February 26 2009 15:05 GMT
#15
DeepBlu a funeral is held in honour of the deceased. That's fairly basic, and considering he's asking for advice on a speech he has to do, whether his grandpa is alive or not is irrelevant. If I was the OP I'd find your comments extremely insulting, certainly not constructive. Maybe it's "just you" or whatever, but the whole point is that everyone is there FOR his grandpa.
It's got fuck all to do with giving them solace.
Of course since there IS a funeral you want to make people happier, give feeling of closure, give them a grander view of things (religion, god etc *hawk*) so they don't feel so down, but that's NOT what it's all about. It's about showing respect.

Breathing and heartrate will increase if you are nervous, excited, frightened etc...
These emotions/feelings will almost, apart from the jitters of being onstage, be entirely dependent upon your delivery.
You are called/go to the stand, your heartrate will increase no matter how prepared you are.
You begin speaking and of course will be nervous for first few seconds but you'll probably surprise yourself with how smooth your talking you'll begin to calm down.
It's a speech and it's your delivery that counts, don't focus on breathing, heartrate, focus on delivery and nature will keep those in check.
I don't care how many excercises you learn/practice if you start fucking up your heart is going to start pounding like shit....
Practice it until you can do it without the sheet ( if possible ) but definitely take it up with you you'll need it for reference in the heat of the moment.

As far as speaking in public goes, I find the worst problem is the concept of time. When all the focus is on you sometimes you begin talking 1000000 miles an hour, or maybe you over-avoid this and actually talk really slow. This was personally my issue, (equal to larger crowd) I would speed up uncontrollably the more nervous I got.
If you mis pronounce a word, miss one out, your voice goes high pitched, WHATEVER goes wrong, don't try to rush back into where you were.
If you feel thrown, or nervous, take a second, even look up and around.
Just take literally 2-3 seconds IN annnnnnnnnnnd OUT, then continue.......
You need to be confident in the way you speak. When you make mistakes, you lose confidence, you may start to stutter or mess up and that will make you lose confidence even more.

Basically your human and you are almost guaranteed to make mistakes
(by your own views, people might not notice you not pronouncing a word in the way you usually pronounce it or a weird inflection in your voice, but YOU will)
How to be a good speaker is how you deal with it.
Just be calm, recollect and continue speaking.
Ideally just pretend it never happened and half the people there won't even notice the error.
If you mess something up(happens), then you try to repeat or rephrase and it messes up AGAIN (happens T_T) just move onto the next bit, unless it's crucial.
If it actually goes tits up just clear your throat loudly and raise your eyes to the heavens and say a quick prayer then try to begin from where you left off.

People will understand your grandpa just died. If you mess up or get emotional no one will judge you negatively, they will feel for you. I think more than likely if you really mean what you are saying you will say it with such conviction and confidence as it comes from the heart that you'll do a perfect run. Good luck, and sorry to hear he passed away.

edit: 3clipse makes good points, minus the drugs
Speak properly, and in as few words as you can, but always plainly; for the end of speech is not ostentation, but to be understood.
Navane
Profile Blog Joined February 2007
Netherlands2748 Posts
February 26 2009 15:18 GMT
#16
take a deep breath: that way the words will come out by themselve without you haveing yo push hem out (when everything suddenly feels too much)
KaasZerg
Profile Joined November 2005
Netherlands927 Posts
February 26 2009 15:41 GMT
#17
It is your gramps funeral it is natural to show some emotion. Do go up there talking like a robot. Remember all the people there are there for the same reason as you.
Manifesto7
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Osaka27149 Posts
February 26 2009 15:48 GMT
#18
What I said:

http://www.teamliquid.net/blogs/viewblog.php?id=59572
ModeratorGodfather
Physician *
Profile Blog Joined January 2004
United States4146 Posts
February 26 2009 15:59 GMT
#19
On February 26 2009 20:33 Rambling. wrote:
My grandpa passed over the weekend (btw, I'm ot an attention whore looking for your sympathy, eat your heart out Zia).

~Sexy Jeffrey


- I couldn't help but wonder about the choice of words and conflicting thoughts..
"I have beheld the births of negative-suns and borne witness to the entropy of entire realities...."
MiniRoman
Profile Blog Joined September 2003
Canada3953 Posts
February 26 2009 18:06 GMT
#20
It was funny to me that he says he's nervous, boasted about himself anytime he mentioned a flaw of his, and then signed sexy before his name. You seem a little insecure overall and that would definitely affect your comfort levels in public. Smoke some weed, chill out and hug yourself ;o
Nak Allstar.
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