EPT"SEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX?"
*Elbow + fist arm thrusting in opposite conjuction with pelvis to form a half dance half sex motion"
"OR SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPP??????????"
*Standing half bent over two hands together prayer form on cheek with a huge banana smile on face*
"SEEEEXXXXXXXXXXXXXX OR SLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP? HAHAHAHAAHAHA"
We were two guys in a hotel suite in the middle of the Tokyo coming off a huge win in a private poker game about to go to pass out from sleep deprivation at 10 AM facing a Crazy high out of his mind on all kinds of shit asking us one of the deepest philosophical questions known to man. "Sex, or sleep?"
The room service server suddenly knocked on the door to deliver us the food we ordered before the crazy had got to our room. He opened the window quickly and frantically scraped the paraphanelia off the desk into the trash as if that would conceal anything because the smell was obvious. He giggled like a school girl as we paid then as the server looked around the room suspiciously he looked at him and told him in Japanese "You weren't in this room, ok?" -- "Yes sir."
He then proceeded to eat all our food while continually screaming "HEYYYYYY...SEXXXXXXXXXXXX??????? OR SLEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPPPPP?"
That night we chose sleep and after tolerating a few dry humps hiding underneath our covers he eventually left. Though I pondered his continuous philosophical question "Sex, or sleep," and I realized that it alone is a perfect example of the fact that nothing in this life is cut and dry; it simply always depends.
******************
What happened is all true but how why and by who is all speculation:
There was a once famous Korean female celebrity who, like all other Korean celebs, only rolled with the highest of society. How the psycho creature from the previous tale knew her is beyond me, but I suspect that it could very well have to do with the fact that a large percentage of Korean celebrity females can be fucked for a price. Not by anyone, but if you were all unaware most female Korean celebrities unless they are super famous like Hyori just don't make that much money and their fame is often short lived. Their short lived fame coupled with their glamorous lifestyles often leads them into a dire situation where they are out of work, broke, but still famous. This is when these girls resort to a very elite escorting service that allows the richest of korean business men or other famous actors who couldn't otherwise get these girls on their own to have sex with them for anything from 5,000$ to 100,000$. Sometimes its just a one night stand for these high profile prostitution rendezvous, sometimes its just for the weekend, other times the girl actually pretends shes the guy's girlfriend. Anyways this jap monster was definitely high society enough to have earned him the right (lol the right) to pay money to fuck this girl or have her be his girlfriend for some time.
Anyways they had their fling and being the super nice super fun super cool guy he is she actually really liked him and they became very good friends afterwards. He's the kind of guy to just meet a girl a couple times then not want her anymore so for him to have gotten what he wanted (maybe for free, but probably for a price) and then still remain in contact and be a good friend to her means that they had a strong connection in the end even if it was originally formed through unclean avenues.
Her career was then ruined when a internet sex tape surfaced of her having sex with some korean guy. At the time I was completely unaware that Crazy knew her but the subject was brought up among friends (I later found out about his and her relationship). He didn't say much about it but he wasn't his normal joking jovial non-give-a-fuck self for sure. "Yeah, I saw it. Why would someone post a video online of them having sex with the girl, is your life so horrible that getting laid isn't enough? Bad things happen to bad people."
Two weeks later the guy from the tape was found alive but with all his bones broken. No perpetrator was ever found.
*********************
Crazy invited me to a club one day. We got pretty drunk and he gave me some ecstacy. Crazy didn't eat any E but his mind was set on finding some weed. He had the VIP section at the club completely booked out with many broke leeching ball licking 'friends' of his and twice as many ultra hot women dancing all around as broke jokes, so it was quite good: tons of hot women and tons of losers to make me look better. But he was so intent on leaving such a good situation because for him it wasn't a good situation. It was the standard. He asked me to go with him and I couldn't say no despite my euphoric state.
I don't know how such a Crazy could love such a calm reserved person as myself but I guess it was cause the first time I met him was randomly at the casino and we gambled like idiots together. In his warped world that made me normal and part of the family. He whips out his credit card, pays the bill, says bye to all the posers, gets phone numbers from 2 of the girls then says "LETS GOOOO" to me and we leave the club and get in his two seater in search of some weed. In Korea it is very very hard to get weed but certainly doable with the right connections and possible to get off the street at night time in Itaewon (dirty foreigner area).
I'm basically as high as it gets as we drive around the streets trying to grab the attention of several foreigners walking around the streets (selling weed). While I would have thought they were just retards walking around at night for whatever reason Crazy knew exactly what they were up to. We pull up to this guy and I roll down the window high as fuck wide eyed "YO U GOT ANY SHIT?"
He's like "what u looking for." I reply "LOL U KNOW WHAT." But they he looks at me suspiciously and is like you aren't military police are you?
I was like "Lol you idiot I'm high as fuck on E and I'm riding in a two hundred thousand dollar two seater coupe with an asian guy how the fuck could I be military police?"
I guess that was too rare for him and scared him so he scurried off.
Anyways after a few more failed attempts we find this Jamacain guy who says we can get it in this bar and we park and he leads us into a back alley bar. It was pretty crazy in there tons of ugly Korean hookers chatting it up with ugly dirty ass old men and a few young fat guys of all different ethnicities. A real scumpit where guys go in alone buy one drink and get horded by the slummiest of hookers for a trick. The place had a few booths and the waitress (lol like 45 missing tooth crazy lady) sits the two of us down in the booth right next to the one with all the Jamacain dudes.
One of them came up to me (not the one that brought us there though). There were 6 of them in their booth with 4 butt ugly white girls and one decent yet trashy looking korean girl.
"Yo man u want any of these girls?" he asks me as he pulled one of the white girls in a skimpy dress over to me. Not only do I hate prostitution but at this point I was coming down off the E and had drank quite a bit of alcohol as well. Before I could tell him "LOL WTF NO" the girl was saying "HEY BABY" and he's like "Well if you want any of these girls just tell me it'll be very cheap" as he hands me a little card with his name and phone number written on it manually. I stuff the card in my back pocket and tell the girl shes a cheap ass dirty ugly whore and to get that guy the fuck back over here.
"Bro do you have any weed?"
"oh of course how much do you want."
We then negotiated the price and the amount. At this point in time Crazy was in the bathroom and I took initiative and paid the guy 400$ for said amount and he said he'll go get it. He goes into the back room of the bar and comes back out. Even though I was coming down from the E I was still quite high and easily confused. I was wearing a big parka jacket (winter time) and he did some weird ninja mind-fuck trick (he knew I was high as hell) to make me think that he secretly gave me the weed in one of my pockets. My consciousness did slightly detect bullshit for a second but was interrupted by Crazy coming back to the table from what I suspect was him taking a dump. The timing of what happened coupled with my highness made me believe that I had the weed on me. Crazy asked me "did you get it?" I was like "YEAH!" then we finished off our drinks. Crazy then asked me to pass him the weed under the table.
I felt through all my pockets and then flashed back to what actually happened and realized that Jamacain guy didn't really give me anything and that he had my 400$. I told Crazy I didn't have it and he was like "WTF?" with a big confused smile. I suddenly felt very fearless and angry and leaned over to the Jamaican guys' booth and started tapping the same guy on the back of his shaven head really hard in a disrespectful "I own you" manner. He swings around to our booth again and is like "WTF I gave it to you man!" and I said "If you don't give me the mother fucking weed right now I'm going to fucking kill you."
Apparently saying such things to a gang of black guys doesn't go so well.
"YO THIS WHITE BOY BE FUCKIN CRAZY."
All the guys jump up and start crowding hoverin over our table rolling up their sleeves taking off their necklaces looking at me like they are about to kill me. Their leader says "What the fuck?" And in a situation where normally I would completely pussy out the drugs made me say "GIVE ME MY FUCKING SHIT NOW YOU RETARDS I PAID YOU 400." Then the leader looked at me like an angry gorilla and started getting close to me.
All the while Crazy is just sitting there with a smirk on his face leaning back. I'm thinking "WTF OOPS TIME TO DIE GRAB THE WHISKEY BOTTLE DEFEND URSELF."
But then Crazy perks up and stands up with his arms extended and hands fully open and looks at all 6 of the gangstas.
HAHAHAHAHA DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? YOU WANT TOUCH HIM? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA YOU WANT DIE? I AM YAKUZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Crazy is by no means big or built he is a thin guy. But the way he said that so arrogantly scared the fuck out of them. They all backed off and the guy who I originally paid the 400 to who was standing in the back now then turned around and walked away and slipped out the front door and ran away. I'm thinking holy fuck wtfs going on.
The leader then tells the other 4 to sit down and they go back and sit down with the ugly tramps who were sitting there staring at the whole ordeal with wide confused scared eyes. The leader then sits down next to me and apologizes to Crazy from across the table. He then asks me exactly what happened and I tell him and he promises to get my 400 back and says the guy that ran away isn't really part of his crew and that he'll get him. Even though 400$ was stolen and we didn't get what we came for me and Crazy looked at eachother and said "Lets just go.." and we got up and left the bar with everyone in the place staring at us.
Crazy then explains to me as we are walking to where his car was that even though I got ripped off it wasn't much and it's not worth worrying about and asks me if I wanna go home and sleep or go to some massage parlor (SEXXXXXX? OR SLEEEEPPP? LOL)
We get to the place where his car is supposed to be and it's gone. It was like 8:30 in the morning at this point and his car was gone. He's like "FUCK MY CAR GOT TOWED," (he was parked right infront of a police station in a spot where police cars are supposed to be parked so when more cops started getting to work his car got insta towed). He plows into the police station while I stand outside and they tell him his car is being impounded and he's going to have to wait till tomorrow to get it and pay a big fine.
Crazy comes out irritated as fuck and is like "Fuck FUCK this i'm mad now you wanna go back to that bar?"
I'm like "LOL nah man." Then I had a sudden realization that I had the original Jamacain guy who stole my 400$'s card in my back pocket. I pulled it out and gave it to Crazy and told him thats the guy who stole from me. He stuffed it in his pocket and we both got in separate cabs and went home (sex or sleep? SLEEEEPP!!!)
I then left the country for travel a week later and came back a couple months later. I met up with crazy and we were drinking in a club. Towards the beginning of the night crazy randomly says to me: "Oh hey...you remember those black guys from Itaewon? I took care of them."
Whether he was serious or just wanted me to feel resolved about the whole situation; I really don't wanna know the answer.
