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Active: 32068 users

issue with my parents... - Page 2

Blogs > YanGpaN
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Mastermind
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
Canada7096 Posts
September 11 2008 00:31 GMT
#21
holy shit dude. I feel so sorry for you. Your story actually made me sad. You are missing out on the best times of your life. Thats just really shitty of your parents. I dont think it would even be possible to explain to them that most of what they are telling you to do is pointless. Do your parents not understand the concepts of fun and friends? You really need those things in your teenage years. All I can really say is I hope you are able to move out soon.
caelym
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States6421 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-09-11 00:38:58
September 11 2008 00:33 GMT
#22
tell them how you feel and persevere. seriously, confront them about this problem and talk, it can make things easier (at least it did for me). if things still go bad, it's only two more years. u can last that long.

edit: high school is over rated. anyone saying it's the best years of your life is entitled to his own opinion but dont swayed by it. each person is different.

edit2: i'm asian and just graduated last year from high school, so i know how you feel. stay strong and keep a positive mental attitude
bnet: caelym#1470 | Twitter: @caelym
Jibba
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
United States22883 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-09-11 01:00:30
September 11 2008 00:56 GMT
#23
Exercise is actually pretty beneficial for your brain so even if you don't have the time to dedicate yourself to the track team, it's still a good idea to keep running. It'll give you a nice break from school pressure.

What you need to do is prove that you can balance school and fun. You seem like a pretty bright kid so there's no reason you shouldn't be able to get straight As and still have a good time. Plenty of kids I went to highschool with were able to do it (I slacked majorly in highschool, but in college I've been able to.) Your tests will be over in like Oct. right? So get good grades this semester and do well on the test. You shouldn't need to study all day to do that. Then talk to them and say "look what I've done, can you cut me some slack now?"
ModeratorNow I'm distant, dark in this anthrobeat
nAi.PrOtOsS
Profile Blog Joined August 2007
Canada784 Posts
September 11 2008 01:02 GMT
#24
I hate to be steryotypical, because i consider yangpan a friend so to start off i will say that sounds horrible, and if i got put in that situation, from the one i'm in now i would go insane.

But I think the reason a lot of Asian people play starcraft judging by this thread and my own reasons for playing starcraft, I think it would be for Escapism.

On a side note, as soon as you move out then you can start partying!!
GrayArea
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
United States872 Posts
September 11 2008 01:22 GMT
#25
I read the first part of your post, then I looked up at which country you are from, and then I understood and no longer needed to read the rest of your post. Asian parents ftw.
Kang Min Fighting!
Ideas
Profile Blog Joined April 2008
United States8082 Posts
September 11 2008 01:47 GMT
#26
I feel really bad for ya' :\


I guess I'm lucky that my parents trusted me enough to study by myself and do good in school by myself.

You should try to teach your parents about how one needs a balanced life to live healthy( a good social life and to have fun).

I'm surprised you haven't melted down from studying so much :O
Free Palestine
xhuwin
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States476 Posts
September 11 2008 02:18 GMT
#27
Though I have Asian parents, they were surprisingly supportive of whatever I did throughout high school. Anyway, I'm not going to try to give any advice because so many others have already commented, though I will say that I'm impressed that you can see your parents' side and that you've made an effort to understand their intents.
xyn
Ozarugold
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
2716 Posts
September 11 2008 02:23 GMT
#28
Sounds exactly how my parents used to react when I was in high school. I just grit my teeth and plowed through it and when I made it to college they backed off a lot. Also, if your parents keep probing you about school, just take the initiative and tell them about it first. It becomes a lot more tolerable that way.
this is my quote.
Licmyobelisk
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
Philippines3682 Posts
September 11 2008 02:33 GMT
#29
Man, kinda sucks.. but here is the only thing that you can do right now is "perseverance and determination" that you will finish your studies then after that, just put your mind to "fuck it, immadowattaIwant." But this type of strategy takes alot of years.. maybe about 5-8 years depending on what university or college/course. Well I am just pointing out that you could at least kiss their asses for the mean time but on the other hand, try sneaking out and go play sc somewhere else.
I don't think I've ever wished my opponent good luck prior to a game. When I play, I play to win. I hope every opponent I ever have is cursed with fucking terrible luck. I hope they're stuck playing underneath a stepladder with a black cat in attendance a
BanZu
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States3329 Posts
September 11 2008 02:47 GMT
#30
Wow man, I hate parents who put academics above EVERYTHING else, it's not even necessary. You DON'T need 24/7 just to get "perfect" 2400s/800s on SATs. I seriously regret choosing academics over XC/T&F my Junior year and seeing someone who doesn't even have a choice makes me feel worse.

I suggest slowly weening your parents off these absurd ideas. The more you get to do things out of the norm the more they'll get used to it (hopefully). Seems like this concept worked with my parents.
Sun Tzu once said, "Defiler becomes useless at the presences of a vessel."
EsX_Raptor
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States2801 Posts
September 11 2008 02:56 GMT
#31
I had parents exactly the same way you describe yours, a copy I'd say. To the point where they would literally punish me for gettin a 99 on a test. But now that I'm almost 20 it's like they don't care anymore. It'll wear off I assure you.
Roffles *
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
Pitcairn19291 Posts
September 11 2008 03:48 GMT
#32
My parents were exactly the same way until they learned that academics isn't everything. After they went to a few college visits with me and asked admissions officers what they were looking for, my parents were rather surprised when they found out that it was more than just academics. I think my mom almost went into shock when she heard "A 2400 on your SATs doesn't mean we'll accept you". Extracurriculars are a very important aspect of college applications.

Your parents probably grew up during the same time mine did in China, where getting to college takes ridiculous amounts of hard work and studying. Back then it was simply your college examination scores, no other aspects. And once you got into college, you were basically guaranteed a job. But the US is different, because scores aren't everything here. Here in the US, they teach you to be a more complete person, developing skills in areas other than your major. Looking back, my parents always tell me that I have luxuries they could only dream of, such as getting to learn how to play an instrument and other stuff.

There's more to life than just studying and working your ass off. Social aspects are important, because well if you can't communicate and relate stuff with your peers and colleagues, your skills are useless no matter how great they are. Notice how most asians in their 30s and 40s usually work programmer jobs. Their skill level no doubt is skyhigh, but they're unable to ascend the ranks because of social ineptness, partially due to language skills but also people skills.

Anyways, this is just a clash of old times vs new times. Your parents are still living in the past in rural China, while you're living your adolescence in the United States. I see where they're coming from, but in order to get past this, you're gonna have to spend some time telling them that the conditions just aren't the same. You must acknowledge all the hard work that your parents went through to get here, but at the same time you must let them understand that in order to succeed here in the US, it takes more than just studying all day all night.

Good luck on your ACTs and your junior year. Get through this one and next year will be great!
God Bless
Luddite
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States2315 Posts
September 11 2008 04:21 GMT
#33
Silly Asian parents...
Can't believe I'm still here playing this same game
Rayzorblade
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
United States1172 Posts
September 11 2008 06:21 GMT
#34
I feel really bad for you. I wish I could even just hang out with you because you seem like a genuinely nice guy, mature enough (even as a junior) to consider why your father would act this way and being sympathetic about it.

It seems to me that you're turning out to be a good person, so they must be doing something right (albeit at the cost of your social life, which may have other ramifications for you later in life).
TheTyranid
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
Russian Federation4333 Posts
September 11 2008 06:36 GMT
#35
Seeing how your parents struggled I can totally understand why they are so uptight. I think you need to rebell, at lest a little. Look if you are getting straight A's in school, you should get rewarded with more free time. Did they restrict you from doing track because your grades decreased or because they thought your grades would decrease. Explain to them that you are still getting good grades and are on your academic track and that extra curriculars are not hindering you in any way. This is a valid point and you need to stand by it, if you are in fact on track.

I have a friend who has complete freedom over his parents. He tells me he "tamed" them. The main reason he was able to do that is because he had decent grades at school and he told his parents that since he had good grades why should they limit his rights? He was always defiant and in the end the parents got tired of trying to control him. Now they buy him alcohol (hes only 18) and let him go anywhere since he has his own car.
Yaqoob
Profile Blog Joined March 2005
Canada3319 Posts
September 11 2008 11:20 GMT
#36
I feel sad for Gladstone but I've known this for such a long time since I play with him more then anyone. Its actually really sad the situation he is.

On a side note he plays a lot for someone who hides it. I think last ICCup he played 500 games or something and I'm impressed he has been able to hide it that much and really happy.

I've played lots of games with him and almost 30% of the time he has to leave or gtg cause his parents woke up or came back from their walk outside. It can be really depressing being in that situation.

This almost makes me want to blog about my family and how they treated me cause its almost the complete opposite but in a bad way too.

I can't wait till GS is in College and away from his parents. Gladstone, PM me the times you are online. I mean the usual times on the weekend [Friday - Sunday] that you are on [i.e parents out/sleeping/walking] so we can play some games.
김택용 Fighting!
Salv
Profile Blog Joined December 2007
Canada3083 Posts
September 11 2008 15:21 GMT
#37
Asian parents need to calm the fuck down.

On September 11 2008 09:18 CaucasianAsian wrote:
sucks, but do your parents give u drug tests every monday like mine did for over a year? (when i never did any drugs)


Fuckkkkked up.
Xeris
Profile Blog Joined July 2005
Iran17695 Posts
September 11 2008 15:46 GMT
#38
Welcome to an Asian household... ;p
twitter.com/xerislight -- follow me~~
Ghardo
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
Germany1685 Posts
Last Edited: 2008-09-11 16:11:49
September 11 2008 16:07 GMT
#39
money solves a looot of problems and will gain you reputation even if you don't do anything for it / don't deserve it. so yeah.. in a way they only do the best for you (in their materialistic world view). but that's of course not all there is to it. they want your long term security and think only of the future but there are also wise sayings such as "carpe diem" which are true and should be followed by everyone but collide with their idea of what you should become.
it's a pity... everyone needs a certain freedom to develop and if parents just want you to focus 100% on studying 24/7 it may give you a better chance later on to get a job but you'll lack something. and I at least think you can reach much higher standards if you can fully develop your personality rather than mainstream your brain with pure knowledge only.

you stress the point that money is not everything and doesn't necessarily makes you happier than other ppl who may have fewer of it. that's right i guess and the real important things you often can not buy with money (love, affection, friendship) but one should also not fall below a certain level of security and living standard, otherwise there ARE problems.

yeah.. you are right in your thinking and you have my sympathy i cannot really give you good advice though.. my parents were rather liberal as far as these things are concerned but i also know of friends who had a similar situation as you and were later able to prevail over the excessive demands of their parents.

see what you can do
skyglow1
Profile Blog Joined April 2005
New Zealand3962 Posts
September 11 2008 19:00 GMT
#40
Wow and I thought my parents were bad O_O

I was gonna say what Roffles said regarding the fact that extracurriculars and being a well rounded student is just as important as your grades when getting into colleges. Your parents are probably pushing you so hard academically because they want you to get into a good college. In that case, what you could do is like show that you share their hopes and that you also really want to get into a good college (I'm guessing you do?) but in order to do so, you'd need to have the extracurricular activities and so on. Not sure how you're gonna convince them of that, but maybe do the same as roffle's parents and get your own parents to talk to college admission people or career advisor people that are involved in the admission process.

If you do manage to convince them that you'll need more than just really good grades, explain to them that you would still study the same amount, but that you'll manage your time really well so you can study and do other stuff too like track.
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