[[If you did not like my last blog, don't read this one, k? ]]
I like to think that my boyfriend and I are in an ideal situation that many gamers dream of. When something is so important to you in your life, it is always nice to be able to share it with your bf/gf/spouse.
I met my boyfriend in my junior year of high school. We've been together for 5 years. At that time I was attracted to him physically and to his personality. We were comfortable around eachother and etc etc. The usual stuff. I did not realize then that he was a gamer, or even that he owned the game Starcraft. I regret to say though, that our gaming preferences differ. He plays mostly FPS and MMO games, while I just play Starcraft, but he will play SC with me at times and we have been in a few SC teams together.
I would say that to the general population, my boyfriend and I are very strange, but we are happy and we like it that way. I can't see him often, but when I do go to see him, I'll bring my own computer with me. We will set up our computers side by side; he will play CS and I will play SC. We can do that for hours. Don't get me wrong, we do other things together, too. We go out to eat, we go to the mall, we go see movies and all that fun stuff, but when you get down to it, we love to game.
We speak in a language that a lot of people would not understand, but of course you would. Some of the most common things to come out of our mouths when we are together are "newb", "pwned", "leet", etc. He also says "lawl" a lot while I am constantly calling things "gosu".
It's not all as perfect as it might seem, and you can probably guess that we have the same problems that other couples have. Sometimes I feel that when I am over at his house, he should pay more attention to me and not his game.
You have to balance gaming and your relationship. He should not spend too much time gaming when he could be with me, and vice versa. There was a time when I hardly wanted to talk to him on the phone because I would rather be gaming. I suppose a gamer couple will have the same problems as a gamer/non-gamer couple, but we do have a mutual understanding to keep hurt feelings and anger to a minimum.
I often ask guys on bnet if they would want to have a girlfriend who plays SC. Most of them would say "heck yes!" while a few would say they don't really care. But I think the majority of guys on bnet would think that while having a gf who plays SC is not a necessity, it would be a major bonus.
As for myself, I can't imagine being with a non-gamer and not having someone to share my wins and losses with, my frustration or my determination. You probably think I'm lame or whatever, but I'm content with my situation right now. I only wish that he was more into SC than CS so he didn't suck and we could game together more. But it's cool I guess.
What about you? Would you want to date a gamer? Have you before? Have you ever been in a failed relationship because of your gaming, or think it would have been better if he/she was also a gamer?
As long as a person has the maturity to put their relationship ahead in priority of playing games, I think it's fine. Whether that maturity exists in many hardcore gamers, is another question. It's like being a parent first, and then a worker. You gotta be a boyfriend/girlfriend first, and then a gamer. If a person doesn't believe that, they're probably in the relationship for the wrong reasons (I guess 'wrong' is subjective at best, but I'm mostly talking about status here).
"I can't see him often, but when I do go to see him, I'll bring my own computer with me. We will set up our computers side by side; he will play CS and I will play SC."
Id like a girl to share my interests, so that we can do things together and both enjoy them. I do a lot of things, like every other person, but I like to think of myself as a gamer. Having a girlfriend to play 2v2s with me is something I would love to experience. I basically would love to have a get girlfriend. If she has a great game that she loves, I would try to learn jt, and at least become competent, maybe practice until I can get to her level. I don't know any gamer girls though. Where are they hiding?
but seriously, its kinda weird to have a gamer girlfriend. i kinda expect girls to go to the mall and shop and get their hair done, rather than for them to be playing the same games as me
The day one of my best starcraft friends got my gf to tell me that she wanted to play starcraft was one of the scariest moments of my life
omg...
starcraft is like my space, its my outlet of emotion and all of a sudden there was a possibility that that couldve been taken away and it would have become 'our' space T_T!
On March 30 2008 03:52 Plexa wrote: starcraft is like my space, its my outlet of emotion and all of a sudden there was a possibility that that couldve been taken away and it would have become 'our' space T_T!
bw is (well used to be) my escape from the gf. Wouldn't want her joining me on it really. I didn't mind casually playing with her, but def wouldnt want it an every time thing.
Would you want to date a gamer? Have you before? Have you ever been in a failed relationship because of your gaming
Depends, yes, yes.
I don't want to be in a relationship with just a gamer, that is someone who defines themselves by their gaming and nothing else. Playing games 8 hours a day is a pretty shallow lifestyle. I've done it in the past and I've grown up since then. People who just game don't realize how tremendously boring their life is and how little they have to offer. Don't tell me how awesome and excited you always are, because I know 80% of the time is spent jumping around in Ironforge, talking about how bored you are on b.net/irc and playing on shitty pubs. Hardcore gamers, who aren't making a living off of it, are trying to escape from reality, and I'd rather be with someone who enjoys reality.
Hawk also raises another good point. Sometimes, you just need an escape.
Depending on the degree of the word gamer, definitely. What I mean is, someone who likes to play video games and will, but not someone who is more devoted to gaming than to most other aspects of life.
As for the second question, my fiancee is a very light gamer. She mostly plays Mario games and Wii games you can get involved in. I got her to play SC with me after I made her an UMS map focused on turning the teamplay aspect of the game into something she'd enjoy. While she did like buttwiggling Godzilla and watching Zerglings run and destroy things, SC moves too slowly in general for her, so it's definitely not something she'll wanna do often. I can always get her to play with me if I ask nicely, though!
For the general overall approach to viewing gamer relationships, I think it's an overall positive thing for you to find someone who is devoted to gaming to the same degree as you are, just like most hobbies. It's something you can share together, and if your degrees of devotion are similar, you are less likely to catch flak from your partner for gaming for x amount of hours. :p
On March 30 2008 03:52 Plexa wrote: The day one of my best starcraft friends got my gf to tell me that she wanted to play starcraft was one of the scariest moments of my life
omg...
starcraft is like my space, its my outlet of emotion and all of a sudden there was a possibility that that couldve been taken away and it would have become 'our' space T_T!
Probably one of the most important things about relationships I've learned is THAT you don't need to have anything in common at all to ignite the fire. I used to think, hey, I'm a geek, my ideal girl friend oughta be someone who shares my passion in the different variants of stars; your startreks, starwars, starcraft, battlestargalaticas etc. But thankfully I figured out, that is, my friend who's 10x better with women than I am told me, that it's not about the topics. Because the flow of the topic eventually ends (Have you ever had great convos about a single topic with someone, only to be left with an awkward silence after you've finished talking about it?). And that you share some things in common with people doesn't mean that you really get to know them. Just ask your co-worker Steve. The most important thing is how you FEEL about the topic and that you connect on an emotional level to it, to their feelings about it. That is how you even begin to get to know someone.
having a significant other who shares all the same interests gets boring fuckin fast... you have to mix it up or its not gonna work. unless the two people involved are complete opposites.. I dont think a gamer gf would be a good thing lol.
I would NOT want my girlfriend playing SC with me, it would just be too awkward for me imo and way too boring to sit there together playing the same game together for hours on end.
Other games are fine though - something that she enjoys. My g/f plays Talesweaver (kor game, it's pretty cute), and I play SC/War3. Sometimes she tells me that SC and War3 is too hard (multitasking and being fast etc.) so she asks me to play Tales with her, which I don't mind at all because I know 10000% that she's definitely more important then any game, even if it's risking something like some prize money or any of the sort.
But other then that, she doesn't mind me going effing 300APM on the keyboard on SC, 'cause she'll just call up her guy friends to challenge me and see them get owned bad rofl.
Ha those peoples are jerksk :p I think you are great that you play the game, and that game should not be a male oriented business. Although I am dissapointed that your bf is nub and don't play starcraft, show him how to will you?
I dunno, I think I'm weird in that, even though I love playing games, and most of my friends do to, I'm much more attracted to girls that don't. Opposites attract, no?
edit: also most of the "girl gamers" that I know have boyfriends that aren't really into it at all.
i wouldn't want my gf to be a hardcore sc gamer mostly because heck, i don't even want to be a hardcore gamer. it's just something to do for fun.
but with that said, having a gf/bf who enjoys the same things you do is awesome regardless of what it is. if you really like sc and your bf really likes it too, then props to you. however, gaming addiction is bad for life .
for wahtever reason, my friends irl tend to come talk to me and get advice on things, and they like to put pretty good weight on what i think even though all i ever say is how they can consider different ways of looking at the problem. on several occasions, i really had to be honest, and what i suggested was not what would have been awesome for me. for example, telling hot chick friends to do what's best for them even if it means we'll be able to hang out less, etc, or deciding that being friends is better than being gf/bf because in some cases, being close friends is more beneficial than being in a relationship. i guess what i'm saying is that in my case, if my gf really loved sc and was a hardcore gamer, and asked me if i liked that she played sc, i'd have to say that she needs moderation. it's what's best i think. whatever happened to hiking, and taking walks the long way to the store, and stuff like that.
On May 21 2008 08:17 Luddite wrote: Opposites attract, no?
socially speaking, opposites don't really attract. it's more like 'birds of a feather flock together'.
On March 30 2008 02:28 Niji-z wrote: We speak in a language that a lot of people would not understand, but of course you would. Some of the most common things to come out of our mouths when we are together are "newb", "pwned", "leet", etc. He also says "lawl" a lot while I am constantly calling things "gosu".
I know a few couples who are both gamers, but usually they play different types of games separately and then social games (like using the WII) together or with friends - it seems like a pretty balanced kind of gamer/gamer relationship. Personally I wouldn't mind dating a gamer seen as right now I have very little time for gaming myself (except for the odd session on MGS or Silent Hill every couple of weeks.) I don't think I could date someone who only gamed though - it'd get a bit repetative after a while. I also don't think I'd date anyone in general right now because it'd get in the way of my own goals/tight schedule -_-;
I would feel very unattracted to someone if they played games more than they do other things. I hardly play starcraft now, and I have to admit, I would never find playing 3-4 hours a day cool. It's unsocial, and keeps me locked away from the real world.
I am an introvert, so I can't stand being around a lot of people, but I would rather hang out with one or two friends than play a game. The game comes second, other people come first. Playing for hours with a bunch of plastic mice, keyboards, and a computer monitor is not what I would find a high priority . Instead, it's something to do in my spare time, while I have nothing else to do.
EPT
]]
