EPTI know this girl right, and she's about 1.90m, so about 15cm taller than i am. And she works in a boutique, and erm has a good sense of fashion. I met her at a privat party and she told me she wants to be a designer or something. Own product line and whatnot. The thing is she has a boyfriend and he's kind of a lumberjack. I'd say 2.0m tall and hands that could twist my neck until my head pops off.
She told me she really likes me, likes what i'm doing and one of my buddys knows her boyfriend and now you can consider those two a part of our friendzone i guess. She thinks i'm special, different you know. I was the dj at that privat party so she naturaly fell for my skills and good looks. Not the first time that happened to me, but it's different with her. We saw each other a couple of times in clubs afterwards but she's allways drunk and i don't know if i should exploit that. If it's right you know. I allways look if her boyfriend is around and he's allways there. So she found out my e-mail adresse and now i have her in my msn list. And she writes messages all the time. But i don't like talking over msn anyway so i don't write back. I can't get her out of my mind.
And here is why. When i see her my blood boils up. She's so fucking annyoing allways hangs at my side even tough she has a fucking boyfriend. And i have a girlfriend anyway! She's so fucking tall and when she's drunk and talks to me i have to close my eyes because she spits while she talks. When i'm mixing i don't wan't her to stand aside me and go all "yeah" and "so cool" and dance like she's on fucking crack. She thinks she's so "crazy" and that it's cool to be "crazy" but she's nothing but annoying.
Teamliquid.
This girl has to vanish.
I don't care how i do it but it has to happen. The plan of operation "get-the-fuck-away-from-me" has to be tought out in every possible detail. I trust you, the combined, the merged power of the internet to help me get rid of that woman.
But consider this while you help me come up with a masterplan:
1) I don't wan't to kill her. But i have nothing against an "ops did you fell down the stairs?" moment. Nono i'm talking about a 3 or 4 step stairs you lunatics! Just to embarrass her infront of everyone when her skirt goes up and everyone point's at her and goes "ha! look at that!" and she runs home crying haha.
2) Her boyfriend needs to be destracted. I don't fear him now, but i see a maniac behind his blue eyes. So i must be ninja. I must be a leaf in a forrest. Shadow must be my second home. There is no way on earth i can pull a "Goldenboy" on his girlfriend. I have tiny wrists and i'm afraid they will break under his strenght.
3) I will see them both next weekend. There are about 7 persons around. 3 women, 4 guys. I'm fairly shure that besides her boyfriend everyone is on my side. I will pay them for dinner over the next week to harden their loyality. The plan is to hang out and play billard. It's a fairly large center, not much stairs tough.
4) Everything has to go quick and if possible in the first half of the meet up. Otherwhise i don't know if i'm able to stop myself from trowing a bowl at her.
Maingoal
- Get rid of her "friendship" without pulling the boyfriend
Sidegoals
- Embarass her
- Somehow twist the situation that i'm a hero for my girlfriend
We need a copperfield here people. Think!
Edit:
- Refer to page 2 to learn about her secret fear
- Page3 might be interesting...
