Let me preface this by saying I am 35 years old and these are more cautionary tales for you all , rather than being vindictive or whatever people were saying to me before. Idgaf, what people think of me or people that I have dated. Life is life and it is what it is. My main point with posting these (which I was posting one of every day on facebook) was simply to get it off my chest, to show mutual friends that I am not a piece of shit if they heard maybe one side of a story, as well as to maybe enlighten or help others in similar situations. And besides all that, a lot of this shit is hilarious to me and i guess interesting. I mean I could probably go to an open mic and just deadpan read this shit lol.
One time I dated a girl and she threw her iphone at my head after irrationally yelling at me about nothing, permanently disabling it. Then a few days later was berating me in front of her shitty friends about how I'm a bad bf because I don't buy her a new phone or pay for her bill.
One time I dated a girl and she went to another state to go on a date with and ex and ended up fucking another ex, Then got mad at me when i picked her up at the airport.
One time I dated a girl and she flipped out about nothing and hopped out of my car after I picked her up and bought us Del taco. So I parked right in front of her and she walked passed yelling and screaming. Saw her throw her purse into the mud until she was confused about where she was and walked back and still didnt see me til I honked. Then she was scolding me about why did I leave her etc.
One time I dated a girl, who I found out later, has cheated on every guy she has ever dated.
One time I dated a girl, and she had the conversation with me about loyalty and trust and faithfullness. Couple days later she was banging, or trying to bang her ex and then on the verge of tears when I was taking her out to lunch and a stroll DTSA when her exes werent responding to her messages.
One time I dated a girl, but we broke up for a month. She was trying to get back together and bothering me all day to go to a BBQ, telling me there is tons of food, beer, and even got tequila (she didn't like tequila, it was clearly for me). So when I get there its all hunky dory. Then I paass out after playing poker and I wake up to her missing and shes on a bed chatting with a guy all night on adderal or some shit and he drives her home. I call her out on it and she tells me to come over and we bang all day. After I leave to work she calls him up to bang the next day.
One time I dated a girl, and she asked for a ride home after being at Kit's place all night when the bar was closing. Then she goes into the bathroom with her friend and they are in there doing coke for well over 30 minutes or some shit and not responding to my texts asking what the fuck is going on while I'm just sitting there waiting to leave and they wont let me back in.
One time I courted a girl, and shitty ass Killarney's (which smells like puke 24/7) was closing and I was hammered. I told her I'm gonna go get some Gyro's across the street. And I'm obviously in line since closing time. I finally get the food and I'm sitting outside watching her dancing around and getting a free drink with some guy while I eat my gyro and she's telling me shes gonna be out in a minute. She snuck out the back and told me that her girlfriend picked her up and she would be over at my house in 30 min, then 1 hour, then to come to her house, then to come to her friends house, this lasted like 3-4 hours of her probably doing drugs with some guy and then I passed out.
One time I dated a girl, and her friend got really daydrunk from an all you can drink special. The plan was to ride bikes to her house to get my car and then I go to work. She couldnt even stand and worse. Guy called the cops. Cop showed up while I was trying to call a lyft that had a truck or whatever to take our bikes. Eventually had to just stash the bikes in the bushes and got a ride from my friend to my house, then a ride from her 'friend' to her house to get my car. I was an hour late at this point. I tell her to try and find someone or somehow to get the bikes before they get stolen. She said she would. Found out later she was just partying and fucking her ex that night. Bikes got stolen.
One time I dated a girl, she would constantly put me down for where I worked (a restaurant) and talk shit on me about it. Meanwhile she has no job, car, money, couch surfing, and kids not around. And me basically paying for her to subsist.
One time I dated a girl, and she had speed to sell to someone, unusually. She kept going to the parking lot of the bar to meet someone and then to come back with another dude, or his money, or whatever. Like in and out 5-6 times. Then she just leaves to his house and doesnt say anything. Finally she tells me she thinks its for the guy not his friend and wants me to call her an uber back to the bar. Turns out it was her ex ofc.
One time I dated a girl, and I picked her and my sis up to go to my mom's for xmas. They drank half a bottle of rum in the backseat. After we got there she was starting to get combative and irrational. So I hid the bottle and that made her angry and she marched out the door. I tried to explain to her this is what I was trying to avoid. When we got back to HB she flipped out in the middle of the street laying on the ground and screaming and fighting her roommate, me, my sis, etc. She bit and drew blood on my sis hand and was uncontrollable. She wanted to sleep in the park because she didnt feel welcome inside. Finally convinced her to just sleep in my car where she cried herself to sleep repeating "i want my daddy." over and over.
One time I dated a girl, and she ran off down the street screaming and yelling while our friend followed after her. I decided to sit in my car in the alley til she came back. She came back but I was passed out and she didnt see me in my car and was yelling and banging on my front door telling my roommate that he was lying about me and her purse being inside and the cops showed up. They tapped my window and I was confused and they drove her home and I went inside and they told me that it was a good idea if she just went home tonight,***
One time I dated a girl, and we came back from Downtown and were playing cards and she was dancing on her pole and then all the sudden became violent and striking me while her girlfriend was passed out on the bed. I was pushing her onto the bed and trying to put my shoes on so I could leave and her friend woke up and they were both swinging on me. Then her roommates burst in the room and told me I need to leave amd I told them "what teh fuck dooes it look like im trying to do?" and I slept in my car.
One time I dated a girl who was the type of person to finish the roll of TP and then put the new one on the counter or on top of the roll pin and not just put it on the roller.
One time I dated a girl, and one of our many mutual friends shared these posts to her and she got upset and started to try and copy the templatte and gaslight as hard as she could. In the process, outing herself even though I have not been naming names. I havent seen them, i'm sure they are terrible.
One time I dated a girl, and she had been kicked out of a place she was staying another time (prob like the 8th time since i've known her). I had paid and helped her move her shit so many times I was reluctant to help anymore. I had to go to work and I paid for her homedepot truck and the stipulation was to have it done in a couple hours or they charge you the overnight rate which is 5x or whatever, and went to work. I asked her if they turned it in on time and she said yes. Later I checked my bank statement and she lied about it and never paid me back.
One time I dated a girl, and I would give her rides everywhere because she had no car or money. She would tell me she has to go to a job interview at the bar the night before or when we were hungover the next morning early af. So I would drive her in shitty hot rushhour traffic all far. I would ask her how she even plans to get to work and logistic stuff about money for rides and time commuting and pay, and she would start yelling at me and freaking out. She would then have me sit for hours in the heat while she does interviews and doesnt get the job, or it was some bullshit bait and switch position, MLM, or whatever. She still doesn't have a job afaik, because shes the type of person to call in sick all the time and doesn't take accountability for her poor work ethic, conduct, and is unreliable while simultaneously holding a "i'm better than this" attitude and being picky about taking/holding jobs.
One time I was courting a girl, and she was all upset about who I had hooked up with or may have been talking to from months before when she was herself bouncing around a handful of guys and lying about it.
One time I dated a girl, amd her room was constantly a disaster. So naturally I would sweep, clean up; wrappers, spilled shit, and old rotting dishes/cups in the morning and she got upset with me and said I was picking at her.
One time I courted a girl, and both her and my other ex got a ride to my house from DT, on the way, other ex aggressively blurts out; "So is the sex with mike as amazing as it was with me?". They were being catty the entire trip and when we got back and started playing some board games or whatever ex left and texted me angry stuff. Other ex went home maybe 30 minutes later, ex kept insisting that I banged her but I didn't. I woke up to an egg on my car.
One time I courted a girl, and I bought her a rose from one of those peddlers that come into bars. She left it on the table when we all decided to go to a diff bar. So I grabbed it and gave it to her and she bit it and spit it on the floor. Turns out she was milking some guy for drinks so I called her a cunt and left.
One time I dated a girl, and her and her friends were drinking a bottle of Jameson outside of surf city liquor right on main street at like 12p. I just arrived and I was like lets go into a bar or somewhere and not get arrested or ticked etc. So I grabbed the bottle and started to walk and her friend grabbed it back and they looked at me like I was out of line and continued to drink curbside blatantly without even trying to hide it. She would do it later inside the bar in plain view of the bartender, patrons, and people walking by on the street, who luckily weren't paying attention.
One time I dated a girl, and I confronted her about cheating and trust. She was getting irate and swore on her kids even though I knew 100% she was lying. I left, but I forgot something so I came back and I hear her telling her roomies; that usually people accuse their SO about cheating are the ones that are cheating and to 'stop running her name through the gutter'. Meanwhile I had proof.
One time I dated a girl, and my car was a lease with X miles allowed at end of contract so I was frugal with where I drive considering I drive a lot for work. She would constantly complain about me not picking her up or taking her from A to B, and even when I did, ofc no gas money and often a shitty attitude. She even borrowed my car without asking a few times and left the lights on and garbage in the car. My lease ended up being way over on miles at the end.
One time I dated a girl, and I confronted her about cheating and trust. She was getting irate and swore on her kids even though I knew 100% she was lying. I left but I forgot something so I came back and I hear her telling her roomies that usually people accuse their SO about cheating are the ones that are cheating and to 'stop running her name through the gutter'. I have proof x
One time I dated a girl, and we were getting ready to go to a friend's bday event or something. She was doing her makeup drunk and doing a shoddy job and kept envying "big titty, blonde, blue eyes, bitches" Saying that they get everything for free and have life so much easier etc. Her roommate, friend, and I were all there trying to say she is pretty and that they aren't my type as well as many other guys, and she continued to put herself down as well as me because; "im just saying that because we're dating." and not taking any positivity at all. She kept marching between the bathroom and her desk slamming doors and yelling until she finally gave up and said she was going to sleep.
One time I dated a girl, and she was doing drunk makeup again. So this time I finished it for her (never done it, and I did a decent job with her guidance) then we got to the bar and she started talking shit on my family, mainly my dad , whom i'm not sure has ever met. She was starting to yell and causing a scene. Saying things like "WE'RE DONE" , "GO FUCK *BLANK*", etc. I recorded it because it was so absurd.
One time I courted a girl, and I had an old picture of her passed out on a couch on halloween because I put her there with a blanket and a bucket. I sent it to her months later and she goes "who is this bitch?" ,"wtf mike?" , and i reply "you lol" , and she replies 2 min later "who is that slut?"
One time I dated a girl, and we were traveling down PCH on Xmas eve and her car that was filled with garbage and windows that wouldn't roll up (which I later fixed btw), so we had hoodies and beanies on (and probably looked like druggies tbh). Coppers flashed us over. I happened to be finishing my beer from my house in her passenger seat so I stashed it under the seat. She had a suspended license or some kind of warrant or something and they were taking her in. They searched the car and found the bottle, some burned weed, and pipe and I just said the car was a mess and it was probably in there for days and its cold because the windows dont work. They kept trying to get me to admit to it and to take the blame for it but I didn't. They didn't charge her or me with the bottle and it was fine. Then the woman cop (who was being followed by a camera crew) started to try to talk to me about what kind of boyfriend I am and psychoanalyze me about why I'm not concerned about her. I just told her this kinda shit happens all the time and its getting old. The cops took her to jail and because I didn't claim the bottle and drinking I didn't get any ticket and they allowed me to drive her car home so it wouldn't be towed. She gave me her numbers to call her dad so he could bail her out. Which I did. Later she resented me for this and would bring it up all the time when she was mad at me. ¯\_(?)_/¯ PS- The cop set the half full beer on the passenger seat and sent me on my way.
One time I dated a girl, and because her windows didn't work so prob some tweaker at night stole some shit out of her car and they put some nazi sticker on the window. She started yelling out in the street in all directions at this person as if they were still around somewhere in broad daylight the next day. I told her the neighbors don't care and to stop yelling and that I will take the sticker off.
One time I dated a girl and her car was fucked up and I had to jump it every other day for the street sweeper so she wouldn't get a ticket or in the morning so she could go to work. This went on for a couple of months until she just dumped it at her ex's house or something. I don't remember if she ever fixed the problem.
Several times I dated a girl, and she would get drunk and we would be walking home. Some random thing would come up and it would trigger her (eg; I said something about Trump or whatever) and she would start raising her voice. Since its late and hers or my neighbors are probably sleeping and being awakened. I would ask her to stop yelling/be quiet/shhh etc. and it would only make her more upset saying that she was told to be quiet her whole life and would yell as loud as she could "DO YOU WANT TO HEAR YELLING, THIS IS ME YELLING!" and she would continue to screech nonsense and I would just walk a different way and sit down on the curb by the home until she finally got there and was usually done yelling.
One time I dated a girl, and she wanted to start working out with me and get back her firm butt and strong legs and core. So I made the effort to get up at tbe butt crack of dawn and do squats and deadlifts and show her some other lifts for legs and butt etc. Instead of following instruction and taking my guidance and trying to push her, she would get upset and say "I CAN'T" and make excuses and refuse to try. Then she quit all together and said she doesnt like my kind of workout or whatever. Later she would do silly aerobics stuff from time to time and say her friends workouts are better.
One time a dated a girl, and she wanted me to leave her for dead outside of norm's at like 3a in the chill of winter (in a miniskirt and a t-shirt) because she didn't want to go eat, go home, or go to my house or my car. After like 30 minutes of me trying to talk her down and the liquor wearing off she finally comes to her senses and everything was fine.
One time I dated a girl, and we went to the casino. She said she didn't want to sit and watch me play poker even though I was buying her drinks or whatever she wanted. She said she was going to smoke or go to the bar/lounge. Later I see her sitting behind some guy she just met and watching him play poker (i guess he smoked her out at his car). Then I'm like wtf, and she disappeared and lost her keys/phone in the parking lot or something and I couldn't get a hold of her. So I waited around for an hour and then just went home. She finally calls me at like 5-6a hysterical from a gas station saying all this crazy shit about going to the dudes house (probably to do drugs) and getting lost and to come pick her up and why did I leave her and to help her find her keys and phone, which we someone did find in the grass near where dude was parked.
One time I dated a girl, and we went to the casino. I gave her 80$ to play NL Holdem and she had doubled up, but then got married to her Aces and got outdrawn. She flipped out saying that the random asian guy that beat her was dealt a cheating card from the asian dealer and they were colluding. Then she got pissed at me for saying that's unlikely and borderline racist and also saying I should have just gave her 80$ for her phone bill or whatever.
One time I courted a girl, and she lost her patience and full on dumped her purse out (ally sheedy steez) in the parking structure to find a lighter or a cig and it was on the slant so the shit just went all everywhere.
One time I dated a girl, and we rode bikes all day. Ended up getting a flat tire in newport and had to find a bike shop before they closed to fix my tire. Then it was night time and we went to get tacos and some drinks (she was keen on the idea of a margarita). She didnt have her ID when they waiitress carded us and said she couldnt serve her one. She flipped out and wanted to leave and said she wasnt hungry and didnt want a drink anymore. Even though It's no problem for me to order a drink and just let her drink it. Instead of being happy that her well over 21 year old self got carded.
One time I dated a girl, And she called me to pick her up from her friends house at Harbor/Adams on the morning from someone elses phone cuz she lost hers or it was dead or broken (as usual) She said she would walk and meet me half way for some reason (i think she just wanted to get out of their house or something) she walked down Baker instead of Adams and I drove up and down 3 times and even went to the apt complex and there was no sign of her. So I assume (correctly) that she walked the wrong way and decide to go to the park near Mesa Verde and lo and behold she is hysterically crying victim to some random lady walking her dog saying she is lost and she just needs to use the phone to call me. She doesn't see me or my car 15 ft away so I call her name and she just gets in the car without giviing me a hug or appreciating me finding her or picking her up and just goes on and on about how people wouldnt stop for her or let her use their phone (she was unkempt , hungover and irrational, they probably thought she was a homeless, so I dont blame them).
One time I dated a girl, and I caught her red handed making out with the DJ at 2nd floor. Ironically, "The thrill is gone" was coming out of the speakers at that very moment. I took a picture and left outside to smoke. It was closing time and she walked out of the elevator following the DJ who was getting his car and loading his shit up. She walked right past me sitting there. So I yell; "nice jacket" (I bought it, but let her wear it), she turns around and her whole demeanor changed and she comes sits by me saying "this is my bf, Mike." etc and the DJ looks confused like a lost puppy asking if shes still coming over and that hes got her number and she will see him next time etc. I play it off like I don't know what happened and wait for him to leave. Then I beat around the bush/shoot the shit about her night to see how she lies. Then I drop it on her and she goes crazy and gets upset and started lashing out at me. So I leave and go get a shot (OT, ran into a famous person on the way). She is trying to call and text me and I ignore it. Later I hear her crying and yelling and spilling her purse all over the parking structure; eventually she is wallowing on the floor and falling asleep. Instead of calling the cops, or leaving her to get raped or robbed, I decide that I will be a bigger man and to clean her shit up, carry her to my car, and drive her to where she was staying. As im carrying her up the stairs it starts to rain. No one is answering the door. So I leave her on the porch with my blanket that I keep in my car. She called and texted me like 30 times the next morning acting like she didnt remember and went day drinking. I was supposed to sell that jacket on ebay. I miss that blanket.
One time I dated a girl, and she was staying at a motel and I was just off work. She asked me to come over and bring food and beer and I told her I would and it would be X time or whatever (i often work well after my shift, like today for 40 min) . I don't know if she forgot or what but she kept texting me and calling me over and over talking all ghetto saying shes gonna march over there and that I should just "GO FUCK *BLANK*" (girl we knew whom i had never slept with and would always bring up) Meanwhile I was driving over there and just not touching my phone because I am driving. I got to the door not knowing about all the VMs and TXTs because I just figured she was being needy or something and my hands were full. I guess she was relieved and wasnt angry anymore when I got there and didnt say anything. Later I saved all the VMs to my computer because they are fucking ridiculous.
One time I dated a girl, and some weird guys were hitting on her and her friend at karaoke night. When it was closing time we were getting in my car to go home but these guys were trying to hangout or something. The guys seemed like tweakers but they agreed to go to their RV that was filthy and hang out. We walked a mile there after we parked at her house and grabbed some beer or whatever. As soon as we get there they break out the coke, even after my ex was talking to this guy earlier about babysitting his kids and never doing drugs. So I'm stuck there because I don't want to leave her or leave her friend by herself. They had a pit bull in there that nipped at her friends face. Her friend thought she forgot her baggie so she walked with one of the dudes back to her house and back to the RV and it was actually still in her bag there. This lasted 3-4 hours maybe until sun was starting to come up and we finally walked home.
One time I dated a girl, and I was running late for work and told her I couldn't take her home and I was going to just have her hang out at my house, or in the car while I was at work or take her home when I had time during my shift, or give her money for the bus and she could take it home (She almost always refused to take busses for whatever reason). And we passed the bus stop. Then she all the sudden decides she will take the bus. So I drop her off the block passed and tell her she has to walk back. She apparently walks a different direction and takes the wrong bus a completely wrong direction that goes way out of the way. She gets off and starts calling me; yelling and crying like its my fault and that I need to come pick her up.
One time I dated a girl, and I had something I was doing something and had something to do in the morning and she needed to borrow 20$ for work the next day or whatever so I had my co worker drop it off to her on his way home and told him I'd give him back at work the next day. She got drunk with the money I assume, later found out she was texting "miss you" to her ex and then told him in the morning she called off work because she 'got too drunky'.
I've got like 30 or so more of these, but they are currently just jotted down as afterthoughts and I haven't cared enough to revise them all. I'll post one every day or week or whatever if anyone wants to read em.