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[Girl] Parody. Conclusion. Warning: Mature Content

Blogs > N0
Post a Reply
N0
Profile Blog Joined October 2016
154 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-12-06 13:37:53
December 06 2016 10:14 GMT
#1
      You can teach an old bitch to open the door, but never to close it. In the social circles where I congregate it's not conventional to get involved with the young, street-love variety. As the warmth dissipates out into the cold, I'm chilling at home now, contemplating my exoneration anecdote, in case I ever get caught by the law, and/or get caught drunk enough to socially stigmatize myself talking, or some witness snitches on me. My thermal discomfort grows along with the degree of guilt on the expression of my canine companion. I am left with no choice but to pause setting my story straight for the aforementioned eventualities, and stand up to deal with entropy first. Now, where was I. Technically I went to try and get a wank from a hooker, but the woman in her made me cum. It's the truth officer, I gave the hooker some bills. She said what do you mean a month? I said I wanted 2 handjobs a week for a month. Hmm, she moaned. Not right now, I said, come have a coffee with me. So we went to that place where they didn't have a pool table a couple of weeks ago but now they do, and I started playing while she was reading the draft of my girl blog about her, on my tablet (it's identical to part one here with the exception of an additional request to her, the reader, attached to its rear). It said "Provide a happy ending, my dear, beautiful hooker. Lift your head, look at me, take a deep breath and ask me: 'well then, how about that handjob?'" It wasn't anything special. Who am I kidding, it was magnificent. I could tell the woman in her has never been summoned upon during confinement in her work mentality, not to mention in a manner quite like my stunt. Don't charge me with prostitution, officer please, I plead. I only gave her money to grab her attention but it wasn't the prostitute in her I was handfucking, therefore I figured it was a legit pickup! That'll do just fine. I'm confident now, that once I get back to the city, in a couple of weeks, I'm going to lose my hooker-handjob virginity.. Thanks TL <3

*
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Jerubaal
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States7684 Posts
December 06 2016 20:04 GMT
#2
I'm not trying to lambast you, but I think the biggest problem in contemporary writing is that writers think the point of literature is to make fancy wordplay so it becomes verbal masturbation. Most people are not David Sedaris. I don't know what I'm supposed to take from this other than that you're very proud of your ability to turn a clever phrase.

All the best!
I'm not stupid, a marauder just shot my brain.
FFGenerations
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
7088 Posts
December 06 2016 23:09 GMT
#3
obviously its a juxtaposition for the recent surge in broodwar
Cool BW Music Vid - youtube.com/watch?v=W54nlqJ-Nx8 ~~~~~ ᕤ OYSTERS ᕤ CLAMS ᕤ AND ᕤ CUCKOLDS ᕤ ~~~~~~ ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ PUNCH HIM ༼ ᕤ◕◡◕ ༽ᕤ
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
December 06 2016 23:48 GMT
#4
On December 07 2016 08:09 FFGenerations wrote:
obviously its a juxtaposition for the recent surge in broodwar


Don't blame Brood War for this. There are many other factors at play here.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
N0
Profile Blog Joined October 2016
154 Posts
December 07 2016 00:18 GMT
#5
I've taken a fuzzy memory of some stuff I wrote ten years ago as background, and wrote a new foreground. I hope a hypothetical reader of both might want to take away the synergy resulting from their superimposition. But since you can't know about the early material I've written, i.e. the sexy naked truth about my next book: the unimaginably omnipresent, self-nurturing bullshit bubble, you'll have to settle for reading this as what it portrays itself to be.. a girl blog parody.

Look at the teamliquid artwork on top of the page. It's like you're assuming that what I've written should be like a pictogram, resembling something you are familiar with, so you can flatter yourself with recognizing it effortlessly, and move on to things that involve you being more active in shaping your experience, rather than being just a passive receiver of a cryptic transmission, which is cool but off the top of your head you'd say team liquid's logo is a horse, but it's not. There is no horse. Regardless, only when we imagine a horse the things around it make more sense, and you start to wonder like what are they supposed to be, some kind of cervical-vertebrae extensions coming out of its back; there are 7 so that would make some sense, right? Or are they indicating some sudden movement, like a tug or rearing. Every time I experienced wonder it was either a purely good thing, or easily stoppable if distracting. Every time I experience lack thereof, it's overwhelming and continuous.

Sometimes making an antipoint is more indicative of truth and awesomeness, especially if you aren't qualified to see the point of a point, understand the point or even point towards the point.
On April 27 2009 14:03 EsX_Raptor wrote:
girl stories will get your blogs up to the Ks of views...


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Starlightsun
Profile Blog Joined June 2016
United States1405 Posts
December 07 2016 04:03 GMT
#6
Very Yokoesque.
catplanetcatplanet
Profile Blog Joined March 2012
3829 Posts
December 07 2016 04:03 GMT
#7
I blame the absence of TL's most prolific bloggers, namely myself and the other ones I forgot about.
I think it's finally time to admit it might not be the year of Pet
Archeon
Profile Joined May 2011
3253 Posts
Last Edited: 2016-12-07 07:26:25
December 07 2016 07:07 GMT
#8
I'm not sure this is a girl-blog (parody) if you don't talk about the girl or even your non-monetary relation to her. If you wrote that you fell in love with her or developed a dependency ...

@writing: I think it's nice, but it lacks some polish. Your language varies a lot and the story feels like it's going nowhere (which is partially intended I assume). It's weird to have all your partially metaphorical temperature switches and read about handjobs in the same text.
You could write it fully as an inner monologue/dialogue to the aforementioned officer without explanation and explain that it's an imagination as a curveball in the end, but it feels weird to read about somebody explicitly imagining a dialogue, it saps the tension. It's also too clear and explicit for stream of consciousness-writing you need more metaphors and less explanation. I guess writing a parody in that style requires a very special kind of flower.

On December 07 2016 13:03 Starlightsun wrote:
Very Yokoesque.

Nah, I got everything N0 said, there was a train of thought, foggy, but still there.
low gravity, yes-yes!
N0
Profile Blog Joined October 2016
154 Posts
December 07 2016 12:16 GMT
#9
On December 07 2016 13:03 catplanetcatplanet wrote:
I blame the absence of TL's most prolific bloggers, namely myself and the other ones I forgot about.
You might be on to something. The idea of a hooker as protagonist in a girl blog should be sufficiently hilarious all by itself. I blame the lack of recent girl blogs.
On December 07 2016 16:07 Archeon wrote:
I'm not sure this is a girl-blog (parody) if you don't talk about the girl or even your non-monetary relation to her.
It doesn't get much more intimate than talking about her excrement.
On December 07 2016 16:07 Archeon wrote:
If you wrote that you fell in love with her or developed a dependency ...
That was imagination.
On December 07 2016 16:07 Archeon wrote:@writing: I think it's nice, but it lacks some polish. Your language varies a lot and the story feels like it's going nowhere (which is partially intended I assume). It's weird to have all your partially metaphorical temperature switches and read about handjobs in the same text.
The temperature switch was literal. I felt like I needed a cain, something real, to build on.
On December 07 2016 16:07 Archeon wrote:
You could write it fully as an inner monologue/dialogue to the aforementioned officer without explanation and explain that it's an imagination as a curveball in the end, but it feels weird to read about somebody explicitly imagining a dialogue, it saps the tension. It's also too clear and explicit for stream of consciousness-writing you need more metaphors and less explanation. I guess writing a parody in that style requires a very special kind of flower.
I am still refining my style.
On December 07 2016 16:07 Archeon wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 07 2016 13:03 Starlightsun wrote:
Very Yokoesque.

Nah, I got everything N0 said, there was a train of thought, foggy, but still there.

You don't get what Yoko says? I just can never believe it, until the exact same thing happens to me.
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ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
December 07 2016 21:05 GMT
#10
I don't know why you broke it into three different blogs, but I found the series to be funny and entertaining.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
catplanetcatplanet
Profile Blog Joined March 2012
3829 Posts
December 08 2016 00:05 GMT
#11
On December 08 2016 06:05 ninazerg wrote:
I don't know why you broke it into three different blogs, but I found the series to be funny and entertaining.

well you also shat on balliop the average gamer so i dunno how capable you are of judging blogs at the moment
I think it's finally time to admit it might not be the year of Pet
ninazerg
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
United States7291 Posts
December 08 2016 02:35 GMT
#12
On December 08 2016 09:05 catplanetcatplanet wrote:
Show nested quote +
On December 08 2016 06:05 ninazerg wrote:
I don't know why you broke it into three different blogs, but I found the series to be funny and entertaining.

well you also shat on balliop the average gamer so i dunno how capable you are of judging blogs at the moment


That's because Balliop's dog pooped in my yard, and to this day, he refuses to acknowledge it.
"If two pregnant women get into a fist fight, it's like a mecha-battle between two unborn babies." - Fyodor Dostoevsky
MysteryMeat1
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States3291 Posts
December 09 2016 00:23 GMT
#13
On December 07 2016 13:03 catplanetcatplanet wrote:
I blame the absence of TL's most prolific bloggers, namely myself and the other ones I forgot about.


thanks fam
"Cause ya know, Style before victory." -The greatest mafia player alive
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