EPT
[Girl] Parody. Conclusion. Warning: Mature Content
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N0
154 Posts
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Jerubaal
United States7684 Posts
All the best! | ||
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FFGenerations
7088 Posts
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ninazerg
United States7291 Posts
On December 07 2016 08:09 FFGenerations wrote: obviously its a juxtaposition for the recent surge in broodwar Don't blame Brood War for this. There are many other factors at play here. | ||
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N0
154 Posts
Look at the teamliquid artwork on top of the page. It's like you're assuming that what I've written should be like a pictogram, resembling something you are familiar with, so you can flatter yourself with recognizing it effortlessly, and move on to things that involve you being more active in shaping your experience, rather than being just a passive receiver of a cryptic transmission, which is cool but off the top of your head you'd say team liquid's logo is a horse, but it's not. There is no horse. Regardless, only when we imagine a horse the things around it make more sense, and you start to wonder like what are they supposed to be, some kind of cervical-vertebrae extensions coming out of its back; there are 7 so that would make some sense, right? Or are they indicating some sudden movement, like a tug or rearing. Every time I experienced wonder it was either a purely good thing, or easily stoppable if distracting. Every time I experience lack thereof, it's overwhelming and continuous. Sometimes making an antipoint is more indicative of truth and awesomeness, especially if you aren't qualified to see the point of a point, understand the point or even point towards the point. On April 27 2009 14:03 EsX_Raptor wrote: girl stories will get your blogs up to the Ks of views... | ||
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Starlightsun
United States1405 Posts
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catplanetcatplanet
3829 Posts
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Archeon
3253 Posts
@writing: I think it's nice, but it lacks some polish. Your language varies a lot and the story feels like it's going nowhere (which is partially intended I assume). It's weird to have all your partially metaphorical temperature switches and read about handjobs in the same text. You could write it fully as an inner monologue/dialogue to the aforementioned officer without explanation and explain that it's an imagination as a curveball in the end, but it feels weird to read about somebody explicitly imagining a dialogue, it saps the tension. It's also too clear and explicit for stream of consciousness-writing you need more metaphors and less explanation. I guess writing a parody in that style requires a very special kind of flower. On December 07 2016 13:03 Starlightsun wrote: Very Yokoesque. Nah, I got everything N0 said, there was a train of thought, foggy, but still there. | ||
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N0
154 Posts
On December 07 2016 13:03 catplanetcatplanet wrote: You might be on to something. The idea of a hooker as protagonist in a girl blog should be sufficiently hilarious all by itself. I blame the lack of recent girl blogs.I blame the absence of TL's most prolific bloggers, namely myself and the other ones I forgot about. On December 07 2016 16:07 Archeon wrote: It doesn't get much more intimate than talking about her excrement.I'm not sure this is a girl-blog (parody) if you don't talk about the girl or even your non-monetary relation to her. On December 07 2016 16:07 Archeon wrote: That was imagination.If you wrote that you fell in love with her or developed a dependency ... On December 07 2016 16:07 Archeon wrote:@writing: I think it's nice, but it lacks some polish. Your language varies a lot and the story feels like it's going nowhere (which is partially intended I assume). It's weird to have all your partially metaphorical temperature switches and read about handjobs in the same text. The temperature switch was literal. I felt like I needed a cain, something real, to build on.On December 07 2016 16:07 Archeon wrote: I am still refining my style.You could write it fully as an inner monologue/dialogue to the aforementioned officer without explanation and explain that it's an imagination as a curveball in the end, but it feels weird to read about somebody explicitly imagining a dialogue, it saps the tension. It's also too clear and explicit for stream of consciousness-writing you need more metaphors and less explanation. I guess writing a parody in that style requires a very special kind of flower. On December 07 2016 16:07 Archeon wrote: Nah, I got everything N0 said, there was a train of thought, foggy, but still there. You don't get what Yoko says? I just can never believe it, until the exact same thing happens to me. | ||
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ninazerg
United States7291 Posts
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catplanetcatplanet
3829 Posts
On December 08 2016 06:05 ninazerg wrote: I don't know why you broke it into three different blogs, but I found the series to be funny and entertaining. well you also shat on balliop the average gamer so i dunno how capable you are of judging blogs at the moment | ||
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ninazerg
United States7291 Posts
On December 08 2016 09:05 catplanetcatplanet wrote: well you also shat on balliop the average gamer so i dunno how capable you are of judging blogs at the moment That's because Balliop's dog pooped in my yard, and to this day, he refuses to acknowledge it. | ||
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MysteryMeat1
United States3291 Posts
On December 07 2016 13:03 catplanetcatplanet wrote: I blame the absence of TL's most prolific bloggers, namely myself and the other ones I forgot about. thanks fam | ||
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