A lot has changed in the year, since I’ve blogged. To recap, at the end of my last blog I talked about three fears that I had (below for convience) .
1. That I won’t live up to the standard I hold myself to 2. That I won’t get a job that I want when I graduate 3. Not being honest with the people closest to me
I have found that the first fear is complete and utter bullshit. Life goes on, and the way we view the world around us, and even more importantly how we view ourselves is ever changing. Not always a radical change, but an evolution of sorts. Everyday causing us to move millimeters sometimes cm’s further from the person we were. As we change, the standards and expectations we hold change.
Do I live up to the standards I had 3 years ago? Maybe. Do I live up to the standards I have today? Sometimes. Will I live up to the standards I have in the future? Hopefully. I would say the most important thing is to ask yourself if you’re happy, but operationalizing the term “happiness”, vague. Instead I would ask, “Are you content with the shit sand which you’re eating now?”[*], and to that, I would say yes.
As a graduating senior, I guess this fear is always lurking. Though, I would say the chance I don’t have a FTE offer when I graduate is slim.
The last one, not being honest with the people closest to me is something that I’ve worked on. It’s surprising how reciprocative people are when you open up to them. Not spilling you’re darkest secrets, but making yourself vulnerable to the right people at appropriate times, is the fastest way to develop strong and meaningful relationships. I would encourage everyone to open up more, and not spend soo much time thinking about how others perceive you.
So… What’s next?
A question that has been on my mind recently. What boxes are left to check? Get into good school, check. Get into major, check. Graduate, basically a check. Get a job, check. Then what? Work until you die? Get married and have kids if you want them? Party every weekend to destress? Move up the corporate ladder? Fuck your bosses wife? Say screw it all and start your own company? After that?
Will something change when I graduate, and I’ll find fulfillment in working? What’s next TeamLiquid?
Gaming while fun, has stopped doing it for me. Going out every Friday night has gotten boring.
What’s next?
And the answer is, “I don’t know”
* Do you like doing what you enough, to continue doing it when it sucks? Ex: Do you like to paint enough, to put up with doing it for 80 hours a week to finish an art piece.
Ok, here comes my excercise in opening up to people (online )
I observe that many people get sort of depressed, when they are "finally" finishing their formal education. Since we were kids we went to schools of different kinds and indulged in the fine art of learning. Then suddenly, from one day to the other, you are supposed to stop doing what you were doing your whole life and instead focus on other things*, all of which do not quite seem to "fit". The longer you need to find an answer, the scarier this tiny little question becomes.
Personally for me it was (and is) really helpful to turn to the good old religion-thingy in the search of an answer. :-) Not very original, I know - but well-tried. But I swear, I really do not want to start a discussion about religion (because that's the #1 rule on the internet) Especially when I read this from you: "Gaming while fun, has stopped doing it for me. Going out every Friday night has gotten boring" I thought about the following, because it had exactly that meaning to me, when I first read it: "But if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted?"
Good luck graduating and finding all those important answers. Please keep us updated on your progress. (And tell me the secret if you find it :D)
Most people are optimists. You don't have to do anything particularly spectacular. Some people feel motivated to perform spectacular miracles. Some people don't feel motivated to perform spectacular miracles.
By performing spectacular miracles that are at least at your level of the corporate ladder somehow unparalleled or even unimaginably profound, you might still improve your chances in the future.
The water level is pretty high, of course, and so, it is a bit of a challenge to stay above water. Which motivates most of us to observe that it is actually pretty easy to get ahead.
We might say that at a particular level of influence, given a particular resource set, you are actually pretty far ahead of the game. I wouldn't take this one way or the other.
Congratulations on graduating with a college degree, for what that's worth. I don't think you should feel two ways about the future, or that anyone would disagree that you should be successful. God speed.
On October 17 2016 09:02 AKnopf wrote: Ok, here comes my excercise in opening up to people (online )
I observe that many people get sort of depressed, when they are "finally" finishing their formal education. Since we were kids we went to schools of different kinds and indulged in the fine art of learning. Then suddenly, from one day to the other, you are supposed to stop doing what you were doing your whole life and instead focus on other things*, all of which do not quite seem to "fit". The longer you need to find an answer, the scarier this tiny little question becomes.
Personally for me it was (and is) really helpful to turn to the good old religion-thingy in the search of an answer. :-) Not very original, I know - but well-tried. But I swear, I really do not want to start a discussion about religion (because that's the #1 rule on the internet) Especially when I read this from you: "Gaming while fun, has stopped doing it for me. Going out every Friday night has gotten boring" I thought about the following, because it had exactly that meaning to me, when I first read it: "But if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted?"
Good luck graduating and finding all those important answers. Please keep us updated on your progress. (And tell me the secret if you find it :D)
Cheers!
* like a carrer, kids, and your receding hairline
In my blogs no topic is off limits (*within tl rules lol*). It's funny that you mention religion, as I probably have more experience with christianity then 99% of people will have in their lifetime. As a pastor's kid for a house church, i've had quite the upbringing . We can talk about the details of my deconversion if you'd like, either here or through pm.
I think the biggest problem I have from finding fulfillment in religion is this. My parents will say that in order to live a fulfilling life you need to follow Jesus. I think both my parents would say they have a fulfilling life. A Muslim on the other hand might say that in order to have a fulfilling life you need to follow Allah. If you asked each of these people, I'm sure both would claim to have a fulfilling life.
If you were to believe that both of these people were telling the truth, then at a higher level, one might venture to say that it isn't God or Allah that cause someone to have a fulfilled life?
Maybe we find fulfillment in believing in causes bigger than ourselves? Is this what drives us towards religion? To start a family? Is that why we find people who don't want this weird? Is that why narcissism is classified as a mental disorder, cause they have a hard time thinking outside of themselves? + Show Spoiler +
I don't have too much/any experience with narcissistic people. So take the above with a lot of salt
Is that why we find hermits strange?
I haven't quite fleshed out that thought process, as that's as far as i've gotten on that line of thinking.
On October 17 2016 11:21 YokoKano wrote: Most people are optimists. You don't have to do anything particularly spectacular. Some people feel motivated to perform spectacular miracles. Some people don't feel motivated to perform spectacular miracles.
By performing spectacular miracles that are at least at your level of the corporate ladder somehow unparalleled or even unimaginably profound, you might still improve your chances in the future.
The water level is pretty high, of course, and so, it is a bit of a challenge to stay above water. Which motivates most of us to observe that it is actually pretty easy to get ahead.
We might say that at a particular level of influence, given a particular resource set, you are actually pretty far ahead of the game. I wouldn't take this one way or the other.
Congratulations on graduating with a college degree, for what that's worth. I don't think you should feel two ways about the future, or that anyone would disagree that you should be successful. God speed.
I like your water level analogy! I would say my current mood is probably due to me having an intense spike of arrogance. As you said, the water level is pretty high, and it is challenging to stay above the water. The drive to stay above and float is quite the motivating factor.
I could argue, that I would have to majorly fuck up in order to ever fall back into the water. However, that comfort of being above the water might have turned into complacency. It's the complacency, that has bothered me.
A friend defined it as such, "complacency comes from when people stop challenging themselves, whether that be intellectually or emotionally. When people get stuck in a rut, they don't feel fulfilled."
I have a lot of options before me, and making choices that lead to having a job I love, and having an impact on the world that I can be proud of. That being so far ahead of the water line, gives me the chance to self-actualize my own fulfillment, instead of choosing something others have chosen for me.
I don't quite have a cause that Inspires me to be greater than myself, but that doesn't mean I won't stop looking. When the chance arises, if ever, to self-actualize my own fulfillment, I think I'll take that chance.
If no chance ever occurs, then I'll just have to create my own. Whatever that may be.
It is a great and mysterious world. If I were you I would take some time to travel. Most people who are fresh out of college try to get a good job and instead end up addicted to meth. I don't think you'll get addicted to meth, but there's a good chance you'll wind up deserving of death. To avoid these pitfalls you should get a middle-of-the-road job where no one depends on you, and there is little to no upward mobility. This will help avoid the temptations of being addicted to meth, killing your co-workers, or being eaten alive in a suicidal race to the top. After you've worked with stability in a middle-of-the-road job you'll have had enough real world experience dealing with your meth addicted coworkers who come down on the weekends by hitting the crack pipe--and by doing this you'll see that while you did make less money, you're not a meth fiend or a crackhead. In the long run you'll have a cheaper car but more holidays, a smarter wife and kids not addicted to crack cocaine before leaving middle school. You'll also have the mental fortitude to endure the long hours of law school in your early 40s and the wisdom to know that while your colleagues are making $500,000/yr. they're also using you as their suicide hotline. This is good because while they cannibalize everyone in their immediate vicinity you are like a shining Buddha whose good will and successful family life emanates a glowing cheer. You'll also be able to enjoy Christmas, Thanksgiving, and other holidays while your kids play videogames rather than drink excessively and wither away under the impossible structure fire of their parents' neglect.
It is a great and mysterious world. If I were you I would take some time to travel. Most people who are fresh out of college try to get a good job and instead end up addicted to meth. I don't think you'll get addicted to meth, but there's a good chance you'll wind up deserving of death. To avoid these pitfalls you should get a middle-of-the-road job where no one depends on you, and there is little to no upward mobility. This will help avoid the temptations of being addicted to meth, killing your co-workers, or being eaten alive in a suicidal race to the top. After you've worked with stability in a middle-of-the-road job you'll have had enough real world experience dealing with your meth addicted coworkers who come down on the weekends by hitting the crack pipe--and by doing this you'll see that while you did make less money, you're not a meth fiend or a crackhead. In the long run you'll have a cheaper car but more holidays, a smarter wife and kids not addicted to crack cocaine before leaving middle school. You'll also have the mental fortitude to endure the long hours of law school in your early 40s and the wisdom to know that while your colleagues are making $500,000/yr. they're also using you as their suicide hotline. This is good because while they cannibalize everyone in their immediate vicinity you are like a shining Buddha whose good will and successful family life emanates a glowing cheer. You'll also be able to enjoy Christmas, Thanksgiving, and other holidays while your kids play videogames rather than drink excessively and wither away under the impossible structure fire of their parents' neglect.
EPT
)
(*within tl rules lol*). It's funny that you mention religion, as I probably have more experience with christianity then 99% of people will have in their lifetime. As a pastor's kid for a house church, i've had quite the upbringing 
