I hate that you have to say "Merry Christmas" to, like, fucking everyone on Christmas, as if they somehow don't know what day it is. If they say it to you, you have to say it back, or else you're being rude and people will be all "Don't be a scrooge", whatever that means. I'm not exactly killing Tiny Tim with my apathetic attitude here. "But Christmas is the time of year to be happy and show love towards all!" and no it's not. It is proven that statistically, the suicide rate spikes in December, which gives me the impression that there are quite a few people who aren't that happy, and additionally, shouldn't you trying to be a good person and spread cheer throughout the entirety of the year, or do you just get to be a dick to everyone January through November just because people don't plaster their house with LEDs?
I guess being empathetic to the needs of others is tough on a holiday where you are obligated to give gifts and are thinking purely in terms of materialism. "What did you get?" Is always a question I'm asked after Christmas morning, and I always just want to answer "I got cancer." because what the fuck? It's like people are probing me just to see if the shit I got was cooler than their shit, and let's be honest, it probably is cooler than their shit. But you don't get to know. Sometimes people ask "Get anything good?" as sort of a whimsical way of letting you know they're cool hipsters who aren't into Christmas because it's so mainstream, and if they mean did I get anything morally good, then no because it was all made by slave labor and all the profits go towards greedy moguls who are addicted to cocaine and prostitutes. Everything I got will probably give me marginal amounts of petty enjoyment for short bursts of time before I slide back into the regular routine of things, but I may indulge myself again from time to time with my new-found possessions, should they tickle my fancy.
Oh boy, and I feel bad for people have a birthday on Christmas. They should get double the presents, but I get the feeling it doesn't matter because it would be like having your regular birthday, let's say in March or some other weird month, and for some reason other people besides yourself are getting gifts at your party. Like, you get a few presents, and then out of the blue, someone hands someone who is not yourself a shiny package with something awesome in it right in front of you. And then you're just like "Wait, what just happened?" and Bob turns to you and says "Oh, I was just giving Samantha her gift." and you're like "Uh, is it her birthday today as well?" and he's like "No, I was just giving her a gift." and you're like "That's kinda weird because this is my birthday party." and he's like "Oh, don't worry about it." and then you're awake all night wondering what the hell just transpired. The point is, all the financial resources that could have been allocated to your gifts are being leeched on by your dumbass friends and family on your birthday. Why? Because, through the miracle of intelligent design, God decided to make you born on Christmas. Which makes me also feel really bad for Jesus. His birthday isn't even on Christmas, but was in March or some weird month, and John Chrysostom was like "Hey guys, let's just move his birthday to December for no reason!" and everyone agreed because giraffes. So Jesus has to spend Christmas day having to watch everyone open up presents that aren't his, and it gets super-awkward. He just facepalms sadly, and says "I gave my life for the sins of the world, and Ryan gets a new coffee machine? What is this, some kind of sick joke?" and some people say "Happy birthday Jesus", especially evangelical Christians, who love Jesus and Christmas and aren't aware that Christmas is a Catholic holiday that borrows pagan traditions like tree-worship, but it's all okay because it's 'for Jesus'. Combine that with the anti-materialistic teachings of Jesus and the fact that evangelicals disagree with like everything Catholics believe, and the ludicrousness expands faster than the space of the universe.
And I mean, what the fuck? Who is this Santa Claus/Cris Kringle/Saint Nicholas/Father Christmas man who is described as being a 'jolly old elf' despite not being an elf at all, who we absolutely must trick our children into thinking is real? No no no, we have to tell children Santa is real because, again, giraffes. If I tell children the wonderful truth that it's actually their family giving them gifts because they love them, I'm suddenly breaking the rules of Christmas. Then the other adult who argued against me kneels down beside the child and tells them that some people don't believe in Santa because they don't know about the true meaning of Christmas and stopped believing in magic and I'm just standing there thinking, "You don't believe in magic, you fucking asshole!" and suddenly I'm a bad person for telling the truth to children. Don't get me wrong, Santa is cool, but don't tell children that he's actually fucking real unless you have a damn good reason for doing so, like they'll die if you don't because there is a bomb strapped to them that is constantly ticking down towards zero, but will add a minute to the clock for every time you say "Santa Claus is real."
And oh golly, those Christians who fucking YELL out "MERRY CHRISTMAS!" and really emphasize the word 'Christmas' just to let you know they mean Christmas and not any other holiday, and do it throughout the month of December and fight major legal battles over nativity scenes being removed from public places where they're practically shoved down your throat and you're choking to death on a plastic baby Jesus stuck in your windpipe need to have super-hot coffee spilled on their groins. From November to January, there are Hanukkah, Ramadan, Kwanzaa, Thanksgiving (IN AMERICA), New Year's, Boxing Day and so on and so forth. Actually, I don't know when Ramadan is, but I just threw it in there. So saying "Happy Holidays" is kinda okay. Christmas won't magically poof out of existence if you don't force it to happen by screaming at people. It might disappear, however, if everyone is a dick on Christmas and nobody wants to celebrate anymore because they don't want to participate in being a dick.
Additionally, Christmas is a great time to be reminded that you are fucking alone forever. You have no 'special someone' to cuddle by the fireplace with, watch a terribad Christmas movie with, and then have insane perverted Christmas-sex with. You're just alone, and instead of drinking hot cocoa for you and the love of your life, you are drinking a mug filled with your cold salty tears, and are probably drinking alcohol heavily in addition to the tears.
Merry Christmas everyone! I hope you enjoyed your holiday! :D
Do you really tell small children Santa isn't real? And I forget sometimes that Christmas is religious, over here there is hardly any connection to religion at all.
On December 26 2014 11:07 Ben1500 wrote: Do you really tell small children Santa isn't real? And I forget sometimes that Christmas is religious, over here there is hardly any connection to religion at all.
Yes I do. I just walk up to them and say "Hey, you. Santa Claus is a big fat phony."
i havnt heard a merry christmas from a random person, only friends and family its like a super less big deal here probably cause its so god damn hot T_T
On December 26 2014 11:32 Shock710 wrote: i havnt heard a merry christmas from a random person, only friends and family its like a super less big deal here probably cause its so god damn hot T_T
it's the obvious outcome of universal pagan solstice celebration co-opted by organized religion and perpetuated by exploitative political states coupled to unimpeded capitalist machinery. fucking giraffes.
Let me expand your rant a little bit. WARNING: the post contains misanthropy. + Show Spoiler +
And I'm talking about Russia and New Year. Christmas is not that big deal here, because 1) it is celebrated on January,7th and 2) due to Soviet atheistic past, New Year is the main holiday. So, I'll talk about it.
It is such a hypocritical time of the year. 99,9% of people swear they are going to start a new life. Doesn't matter, if it is "quit smoking", "eating healthy", "spending less money on shit", "going to the gym", etc., etc. But guess what?! People don't change! AT LEAST they will pretend to try for a week or two. And then they will find a fucking bullshit excuse for not doing what they promissed and simply return to the initial state of being a useless piece of shit.
Won't repeat about the presents and "What did you get?". Same bullshit here. I am considered insane for not spending/getting hundreds Euro of worth in presents, just because I know I'll go to Alps in February/March and will need every cent I've got.
Swarms of people. Swarms of people everywhere. I don't know where they hide during all other months.
And if you ask me to describe this time of the year with one word it would be "irrationality". I love Innovation for being a robot.
Speaking of swarms of people. I went out to lunch with my Mom on Christmas Eve and every store/mall parking lot was extremely overloaded. Like why the fuck do people just wait until the very last day to go get their shit, lol.
On December 26 2014 16:10 IAmWithStupid wrote: 5/5!
Let me expand your rant a little bit. WARNING: the post contains misanthropy. + Show Spoiler +
And I'm talking about Russia and New Year. Christmas is not that big deal here, because 1) it is celebrated on January,7th and 2) due to Soviet atheistic past, New Year is the main holiday. So, I'll talk about it.
It is such a hypocritical time of the year. 99,9% of people swear they are going to start a new life. Doesn't matter, if it is "quit smoking", "eating healthy", "spending less money on shit", "going to the gym", etc., etc. But guess what?! People don't change! AT LEAST they will pretend to try for a week or two. And then they will find a fucking bullshit excuse for not doing what they promissed and simply return to the initial state of being a useless piece of shit.
Won't repeat about the presents and "What did you get?". Same bullshit here. I am considered insane for not spending/getting hundreds Euro of worth in presents, just because I know I'll go to Alps in February/March and will need every cent I've got.
Swarms of people. Swarms of people everywhere. I don't know where they hide during all other months.
And if you ask me to describe this time of the year with one word it would be "irrationality". I love Innovation for being a robot.
I'll have my own New Year, with blackjack and hookers! In fact, forget the New Year!
That also happens during American New Year, except it's more of a joke now than anything. Innovation is pretty good, but tends to come unraveled in the late game, as you can see here versus Sacsri:
and here versus Stats:
On December 26 2014 15:49 EatThePath wrote: it's the obvious outcome of universal pagan solstice celebration co-opted by organized religion and perpetuated by exploitative political states coupled to unimpeded capitalist machinery. fucking giraffes.
EPT
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