EPTSo I am going to make this short and sweet, I have a lot of shit on my mind and I do not feel comfortable in my own skin lately, I am a really open / honest person so I just say exactly what I think / feel always, I am only saying this so you can keep an open mind reading on...
So for the last 7 months I have been working doing tech support, really MEH type of job, ya know? Having country people calling bitching at you all the time about there internet / tv / tablets / phone / computers / ect...It can be really stressful, I always joked around about calling tech support untill I am on the opposite end of things, funny how life is.
The job itself is really laid back, and when I am not on a call helping someone, I am usually playing NES / SNES games(Who would ever complain about getting paid to play video games?). So I enjoy the job, we have fun, it's not a dream job it is a job, better than nothing at the moment.
In comes the problem...
So basically to make a long story short, I got busted selling weed, was homeless afterwards in Pittsburgh, PA for 6 months due to circumstances afterwards, anyways I ended up moving back to South Carolina, bum fuck egypt, middle of no where.
My father is about 80 years old or so, I miss him, A LOT, too the point where I don't really sleep much anymore, I hide all of the true feelings / emotions behind smoking weed / drinking ( not a lot but I do drink some beers , smoke a lot though ) , I am living now with my mom , sister, and her husband, I am thankful that I have this place to live but now things are changing...
Before my father had a bad stroke, and was in a state of comatose for 6 months, then came out of it, and has been recovering ever since, he was living with his X Wife before I moved back to SC, him and her got into it because she doesn't like him going out and having a drink every now and then, but he just likes to go out to socialize really, to get out of the house, see people, he is an artist after all.
So she gave him an ultimatum, either you go to assisted living ( Old folks home ? ) ,or you move out, so my father moved out on his own, the problem is he needs constant supervision (Food, meds, general help) because after his stroke, he suffered from his ability to speak / form sentences / words properly. I can understand him though very well despite that, better than most anyone else i've seen trying to talk to him.
I am completely spit and lost imbetween my mother / sister and going back to my father, my mom and her husband are trying to tell me not to go back to Pittsburgh because I'd end up back in jail, but I have no intention of getting back into selling weed, I learned my lesson on that, It is more about being able to be with my father, being not in the middle of fucking no where (I am now in Prosperity, SC, AKA BUM FUCK EGYPT, NO Internet or anything available....Only MiFi hotspots...it is like Hell on earth... ) , and because I obviously psychologically want familiarity, and it would be much easier to find girls in the city than in the middle of no where, especially since I don't even have my license...didn't really need one in the city...
So I am torn between family, I feel my heart keep telling me to go back to my father, and my head keeps telling me to stay, And then my head tells me to go, and my heart tells me to stay.....I AM LOST and I really don't know what to do, any advice would be really appreciated.
....I feel like I have to eventually just do what the fuck I want to, and stop worrying so much about what others think all the time, I am too empathetic always, I never really think about what I want myself, but then when I do , I feel selfish.
EDIT : I just want to add that I think that there is a conspiracy going on with the SC2 "Dream Map Pool" and Sonic / OGN's partnership, do you realize how many people are going to want to go back to BW after playing all these shitty old maps? I'm about to fire up some BW again, haven't played a game in awhile, BW always helps heal things T_T
