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I am a southern gentleman, born and bred. My grandmother would turn over in her grave if I were to wear a hat inside, escort a date on the wrong side of the street or forget to say please and thank you. But by far one of the greatest oddities of polite society is that of holding the door for a lady.
It's a pretty simple task all things considered. Open door, pause, follow. Mission complete. If she's immediately behind you, it's a sweet gesture that can be a great conversation starter with a newfound friend. However... how far is too far?
If she is five or ten feet behind you, it's a no-brainer. But any guy who has held a door before knows any more than ten feet causes some serious second thought:
"Am I being that creepy guy lingering like this? Does she expect me to hold it? What if she thinks I'm trying to get behind her to look at her nice... legs."
It's one brief, anxiety-filled moment. You want to be the good guy, the hero, the guy who gets the girl, but a case for both approaches can be made, mutually exclusive, inside your own racing mind and immediately you begin to second-guess yourself.
This is equally applicable to Starcraft. At any given point a player can freeze, uncertain of how to proceed. The player second guesses himself. The number of times I see low level Protoss players with all higher tech--DT, robo AND Stargate!--on two bases or a Zerg so scared of his death right around the corner that he doesn't make drones astounds me.
Self-doubt is a killer.
The trick is to just do it. Hold that door. Make those drones. Commit to a certain tech and learn to deal with whatever the situation throws at you. It is far easier to learn from a well-executed mistake than to learn from murky success.
Starcraft players could learn a lesson from the confident southern gentleman. Make your mistakes with brash self-confidence and people will never think twice. Show even a moment's doubt and you will lose the game and the girl.
 
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Agreed. You should not think about it.
If you hold the door only for the reaction of the girl, you are doing it wrong.
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Russian Federation1016 Posts
On November 03 2014 02:30 theonlyshaft wrote:
low level Protoss players with all higher tech--DT, robo AND Stargate!--on two bases
We've seen this in PvT this year (around season 2) at highest level too. Great book! I'm so happy that time is over.
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Here in the north, ladies are capable of opening doors themselves and even same sex manners exist.
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I hold the door for guys too, OP :/
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I never think of holding the door as a conversation starter. I just hold the door for someone who is immediately behind me, regardless of gender and don't read into it.
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Holding the door for a girl? Why? I hold the door for everyone who is reasonably close behind me, no matter of his/her gender or something else Oo
You're right in the idea though. Best decision is to make a decision
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That's great. Just wanted to let you know.. Nice Guy ≠ Good Guy
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5 feet is way too much. Holding the door for someone doesn't actually save much time either unless the door sucks.
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if im able to walk through the door without her following like 2 seconds later i dont hold it
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United States24779 Posts
I've actually given some thought to 'door holding' recently, although like others have said it has nothing to do with gender.
The question of 'how far is too far' isn't really solved by saying "just hold that door." The way I approach the issue is to say, if I let the door go, and it isn't closed before the next person comes, then I should have held it. Of course, that doesn't work for extremely slow doors.
The other part of this is how to handle two people trying to pass through a doorway from opposite directions, or when there are two doors and someone coming the other way is holding the wrong door for you.
When two people approach from opposite directions:
- The person on the 'pull' side of the door should hold the door for the other person (people often screw this up).
When two people approach from the opposite direction, and there are two doors:
- If there is nobody else nearby:
- Person on pull side holds right side door for approaching person.
- If there are other people coming in either direction:
- Both people pass through door that is on the right side from their perspective, and only hold the door if there is someone coming up behind them.
I'm not sure how to get the above strategy disseminated to everyone in the world I will ever walk near.
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I'm a Yankee, born and raised in the north, and I must say that when I was forced to move down south, I was pleasantly surprised at the manners of Southern gentlemen. Not just men, but young boys and teens. They never fail to hold the door for a girl - or do any of the other things that you mentioned in your post.
There are only two ways you can mess up - one is to ignore it, the other is to over-think it. If it feels weird and awkward to you, it will to the girl.
Just don't ever lose your Southern qualities, even though some feminist might smack ya in the face. lol
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My general rule is:
If the door would fully close by the time the person behind you would reach it, do not hold it open.
Edit: Apparently I'm not the only person with this rule, reading everyone's posts. Great minds, or something
However, I do enjoy holding a door open and looking backwards with a slightly resigned look. Making people run for no reason is always entertaining.
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On November 03 2014 04:27 rotta wrote:
Here in the north, ladies are capable of opening doors themselves and even same sex manners exist.
you dont sound much "bred" at all but rather like a pretty sexist beeing
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Pandemona
Charlie Sheens House51493 Posts
I am a southern gentleman, born and bred. My grandmother would turn over in her grave if I were to wear a hat inside, escort a date on the wrong side of the street or forget to say please and thank you. But by far one of the greatest oddities of polite society is that of holding the door for a lady.
Hmmm the hell is that all about? I have never heard of that one xD
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Lol guys I'm loving all the feedback this is getting 
On November 03 2014 20:52 Pandemona wrote:Show nested quote +I am a southern gentleman, born and bred. My grandmother would turn over in her grave if I were to wear a hat inside, escort a date on the wrong side of the street or forget to say please and thank you. But by far one of the greatest oddities of polite society is that of holding the door for a lady. Hmmm the hell is that all about? I have never heard of that one xD
It comes from medieval times, when people emptied chamber pots off their balconies. So a gentleman always walks closest to the building, with the lady facing the street.
And for the record, I'm an equal-opportunity-door-holder. Male, female, it doesn't matter. The key is the complicated part. I guess I never gave much thought of how a guy might misinterpret things... That said, I've never had a guy accuse me of trying to look at his ass. This can't be said of ladies, unfortunately.
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do u do it the other way around if its being rainy and cars are more likey to drive by and splash u guys with water? wouldnt that be more common these days than the chamber pots?
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Pandemona
Charlie Sheens House51493 Posts
Oh right i see. I shall remember this for the next time.
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On November 03 2014 21:44 Shock710 wrote:
do u do it the other way around if its being rainy and cars are more likey to drive by and splash u guys with water? wouldnt that be more common these days than the chamber pots?
i always walk on the outside of the sidewalk toward the street when i'm with my wife because it discourages harassment from cars
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On November 03 2014 21:44 Shock710 wrote:
do u do it the other way around if its being rainy and cars are more likey to drive by and splash u guys with water? wouldnt that be more common these days than the chamber pots?
You know, I've wondered that myself. I don't have the answer, but it's a great question. Henry Ford should have totally included that in the handbook 
On November 04 2014 00:44 brickrd wrote:Show nested quote +On November 03 2014 21:44 Shock710 wrote:
do u do it the other way around if its being rainy and cars are more likey to drive by and splash u guys with water? wouldnt that be more common these days than the chamber pots? i always walk on the outside of the sidewalk toward the street when i'm with my wife because it discourages harassment from cars
Great point as well.
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EPT
