Suddenly I feel like sharing a bit about places. Or locations. As in, the film department job; Finding locations.
I might throw in a bit about my life in general while I'm at it. Bear with me.
So! I sometimes do side work for a locations company (link exists on this site but whatever, no help finding it without using a quote with my image links. Because I don't feel like that atm.)
This goes from Porn (I am male and straight so not allowed to work those and frankly don't want to) to High fashion to Movies.
One of the first shoots I worked at was at this house http://www.locationsunlimited.com/Photo_Album.php?Album=17
for Next Directory (my UK cousins will probably quickly recognize. Y'all's fashion industry has awesome people fwiw. WAYY better than ours!)
I was immersed in slightly different cultures from SoCal for the first time, which led to some funny moments. The slang everyone used was so "romantic", I was "Lovey", "Lovely", etc according to every woman and expected to call them "Doll" or "Darling" back. (is this common in the UK?)
But so much English, it was everywhere and since I am somewhat personality-less (A.S. Disorder look it up I guess) I tend to assimilate what is around me. I got very used to English speech versus American speech. Remember this.
So I chatted with folks, held light reflectors & shades, yelled for people to please move the blue Chevy for the catering Van (which got people looking quizzically until I remembered my stuff and said "Move the rental car for the lorry" which got laughter since Van is pretty universal but what, I was like 19 or something)
And then I started to clear the place out and prep it for the next day. My employers were to busy to rendezvous with me after the shoot and it would continue the next day, so I packed up what little I had brought and hopped into the little 1961 Falcon I was driving at the time and headed home.
I was greeted by this strange sounding form of English I couldn't place.
I have actually heard my own accent with just a little bit of British ears. We sound kind of weird, if I remember right. Really flat.
But then you all are big actors and regal sounding drama queens

Fast forward a few months. Now I am looking around Palm Springs for a house with many specific features, including...
No palm trees.
Seriously this is a very common request.
Fast forward a few months.
Next Directory again, this time they are at this house
http://www.locationsunlimited.com/Photo_Album.php?Album=49
I have some photos this time, I learned that this is not illegal.
There always seems to be that guy that is really into KUSHM4STA (sson) and happens to be a genius.
He is the dude with the long hair
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/0CU1t5u.jpg)
Notice the woman. (I have been so kind as to use a shot where her face is not visible.)
HAHA!! I AM TRICKSY! THIS BE GIRL BLOG!
(well sort of.)
You cannot see but she is perfect. Of course she has to be, this is her job. BUT STILL. + Show Spoiler +
Perfection is really not all that rare given a stylist. This woman though, she is rare. Not one of a kind, everyone is but in the sense that is supposed to mean, I think does not exist. Plenty of gals look almost exactly like her if you take the whole world into your sampling pool- maybe like 30; Remember I see them all minus makeup. Only one other besides her, a Brazilian gal, was quite so minus makeup. Whatever though.
now I don't fully understand why, but she was into me... Massively. Bragging about her apartment in NY, hinting that I should get ready to go (how many meanings in that hiiiiijole) stuff like that.
And I could not stop shaking and doing awkward things, and thinking about how nerdy I am etc (I look like Anthony Perkins. I now know this should have been no big surprise, but still qualifies as a surprise.) Taxi came that day, it was her last on that shoot and everyone was seeing her off so of course I'm not just going to sit by a propane heater while someone who has been hitting on me at work for 4 days is leaving.
She immediately headed my way and gave me a more lasting hug than I would expect be normal, & said "will miss you" with a quick wink.
Hijole. How do I get married now.
Never seen nor heard from her since, she lives across the nation and is probably either married or who knows? by now. Besides I am busy making $12 an hour, she is far out of this guy's league. But that was the first shocker that work might involve some folks that... well... yeah.
Besides I have not an inkling to her personality, hey. Could be an absolutely nasty person in many ways for all I know.
... But that seems unlikely.
Moving on!
A few months later, I am up near a marine base at some kind of salt flat near an old truck
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/8rrWxWm.jpg)
Poor gal looks a lot like my GF at the time, but for this shoot has to wear something too small. This was when I realized that a lot of girls in these shoots and this industry are moralistic; in other words this was outside her standards. (And I took a picture, AND posted it on the internet? ALAKASLAM YOU MONSTER!!) + Show Spoiler +
From far away, wearing a robe. The advertisement that thousands if not millions have seen in the UK plastered on storefronts or magazines were a lot closer, in a pose, etc etc.+ Show Spoiler +
After taking the shot (to show my at-time GF), I almost deleted it. The poor girl was told that she would not have to wear anything racy, (and the industry will respect that wish, despite what is often said- you just won't get as wealthy) and here she was being asked to wear something a bit racy. She eventually asked that guys leave (which we had no problem doing) but Lynn (a direct co-worker at the time) informed me that it was still pretty racy. Nonetheless, I think it woke everyone up to what we were doing, we were playing on young women's desires to draw male attention in a way not wholly good, nor safe, and promoting a culture that I question the validity of. We were asking women to push their limits as far as being racy goes and use their bodies to sell linens.
And it had gotten to the point where it was clearly conflicting a gal's conscience. (hmm. Am I such a monster taking the second shot? Or did I think ahead? Hmm....)
... Lynn also had basically propositioned me earlier that day. The world has all types. Hijole. (I am basically asexual. I get very nervous versus excited whenever propositioned, I think I would need to be married to someone hey? Because gay results in revulsion on a level with vomit... I am sorry! No intent to offend! My uncle doesn't bother me, and he is gay! But it is still true that I have an even stronger negative reaction there.)
This was when I began to question what I was doing. But ultimately, the industry has it's reputation. Folks do in fact know what they are in for, and though she was given an out (producer was willing to cancel that entire line!), she went through with it anyway.
A few months later?
South coast plaza! Big shopping mall just a few hours drive from me (in my older brother's hometown.) and they want to use my car!
Nope- got a wake up call, Falcons are a dime a dozen. They did this
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/6jdxLVw.jpg)
(once again not showing face. I try to avoid that on internet you know?)
BTW this is that Brazilian gal I mentioned earlier. Very perfection much beautiful. Who knows personality. Had stud right next to and still thought I was the model and made a joke about this.
Learned that being "different" in a different way does not score you hipster. (duh.)
Few more months...
Shoot at here http://www.locationsunlimited.com/Photo_Album.php?Album=135 (outside Roy's, big diner that is just a gift shop now) Waaaay out on Route 66- as far as our company goes.
Again it's Next Directory, they really like the desert. Stylist shows up days late, starts giving me orders, sees my blank stare and asks "Aren't you the model?" and the lighting team starts laughing while I just say "no..." and someone starts to explain that since she missed her flight (and had lost the product, poor girl- had to track down tons of bags) she had been replaced and was on backup. Poor gal was crushed. She had already had a hard week (again, she lost the prototype clothing; any gal who found that and was the same size as our model would have not returned it to say the least and it was worth $60,000 all together...) and now she was likely not going to be paid much at all.
Sure enough, she was transferred back to England and as I was the one with the least work as a PA, I drove her to LAX.
Long talk and she joked about even losing the sun, going back to england- and WHAM, el Nino hits like a bombshell and she gapes, stating she had not seen such rain in England.
Learned a lot about folks who have to return to the studios on that trip though, no matter your industry, life can become a grind. That's what I learned there.
More months...
I got hired at another job, and started to burn out on this one. I led a team that was short on cash and just starting a new line of clothes to a "Commando style" shoot (no film permit and no owner permission) on water district ground that I knew no one cared about.
It's right off highway 111 in Rancho mirage
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/B0xxdUS.jpg)
Yet
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/0dej47G.jpg)
It's pretty amazing what angles can do.
However.
WATCH IT U PHOOL
Because that team was awesome. and we did allllll the shots in the desert.
Whoo!! Not burned out after that one.
Then I couldn't make some deadlines and haven't been called in for any work in a while.
What, is this blog any good? Ended too abruptly?!?!? Well so did my work!
Q&A below if you want. I might be long in replying though, long enough for you to forget this blog! XD




