Diablo 2 Lord Of Destruction Battle Report 11

The recent trip through the sewers and subsequent death of Emilio left me wanting revenge against the forces of great evil which caused so much pain and suffering

“Those damn council members!” I yelled at newly revived Emilio. Emilio nodded in agreement with my anger, but I know he was just humoring me. Emilio didn’t care for the petty squabbles of politicians on some council somewhere. He only cared for one thing, blood. And I’m not even sure that he wouldn’t accept his own blood if he couldn’t get it elsewhere. Emilio was crazy that way, he was.

“We’ve no time to waste, Emilio! Let’s go!” Emilio followed me into the sewers, which we quickly left to enter the Kurast Causeway.



“This…” I said to Emilio. “This is where the causes happen!”

Emilio didn’t laugh at my hilarious joke.

We passed a health shrine, which I drank from despite my max health already.


All that blood-drinking has made me feel healthy.

Me and Emilio ended up getting lost on that straight path, and ended up “accidentally” opening up some ruins and wandering inside.

“There’s a book in one of these ruins!” I said. We must find it and learn its secrets!”

Emilio accepted his fate and knew that attempting to dissuade me otherwise was futile. We opened up the disused reliquary first and went inside.




“This doesn’t look very disu… Aaaaah electricity bugs! Save me Emilio!” Emilio heard my cries for help as I screamed in his ears, and sprung into action. The room lit up with electricity, and I could see all of the dead light up every time Emilio killed another. Before long, the room was empty once more, and the bodies strewn about were lost to the darkness. We stepped over the carcasses into the next room.

“Emilio, there’s more!”



“There’s the boss Emilio! Watch out, he’s lightning enchanted!”

Emilio sighed and started killing. Fowl Widow the Howler went down after a few stabs from Emilio. After all was said and done, he still didn’t thank me for the useful information. I saved his life, and wasn’t even acknowledged for it. However, I am a selfless person, so I only let Emilio know once that he should have thanked me before continuing forth.

We searched the temple for hours until we realized that we were looking for a book.

“There’s no book here, Emilio. Next temple!” Emilio was ready to kill those dirty politician scumbags on the council, but I wanted that book first. We exited the temple and took another route to the right instead, which led us to the ruined temple.



Upon entering, we were not ambushed immediately, like those bugs had done before. Emilio and I took a look to the right, but found no book.

“Let’s go through the center, Emilio.” Emilio knew that by ‘we’, I really meant him. Unfortunately, Emilio had other plans than to sacrifice himself for my benefit.

“Emilio, quit being so selfish and go be a decoy!” I ordered him. Emilio didn’t budge, and I knew I had to be the brave one here. I ran in, ready to defeat all those who opposed me.



“Emilio, French strategy! Retreat!!!”

I was viciously rushed at by rogues and bigfoots. Even I knew Emilio was no match for them. I ran past Emilio into the room to the left and teepeed back to town. I wasn’t able to snap a screenshot without risking death there.

“There’s no way we can go back through that portal,” I told Emilio. Emilio was sure he could take them all, but I knew his weakness. Emilio could kill anything in a one-on-one fight (with my help of course), but he’d get slaughtered in a group like that.

Luckily, due to my bigger smartness than Emilio, I came up with a plan. I ran back to the entrance from my nearest waypoint, ready to barge in and nab the book without problem.



GO, GO, GO!!!



“Oh crap, there's still bad guys!” Emilio was busy being useless and holding the group from before at bay, despite them not being anywhere near me at the time.

"Good job Emilio!" I yelled at him. I hurriedly clicked on the book, which flew off the pedestal with great force before landing on the ground.

“Oh crap, I dropped it!”

I opened up a portal in a rush to get out.



“Ahhhh, I can’t click on it!!!” I took quite a few hits as I continued trying to go back to town but ended up continuously punching a flesh hunter instead. I was at about half-health left when I decided to screw it and run for the entrance instead.

“We made it, Emilio!” I said as we reached the outside safely. I successfully captured the book and lived to tell the tale.

The only place left now was Trav, home to the world's scummiest, dirtiest, most corrupt politicians you could find outside of Washington.

“Ready to kill some politicians, Emilio?” Emilio shrugged. I could tell he was very excited.