EPTI try to think happy thoughts, but the sadness and numbness eventually always dominates. Trying to spark my excitement with video games just doesn't work anymore. Gameplay mechanics don't fascinate me that much - instead I'm looking for an experience, a story to get lost in for a few hours. Just so that all the bad would thoughts get buried away and I could feel excited again.
Reading books helps, but the more I read, the faster I reach the peak of excitement and faster I come back to the dull reality. I look at a blooming flower to feel something good, and surprisingly I do, but then I look elsewhere and all the negativity is back.
Maybe it's got something to do with a family member's health problems, but then if I think about it, it's still me who is at fault. Being stale and emotionless is disguised by sudden bursts of energy, happiness and excitement. One day i feel like I'm an eagle who does what it wants without a care in the world, the other day I feel like a worm who hides itself away from everyone and everything.
Being so emotional one day and lethargic the other ruins me. Trying to make any long term plans a reality is so much harder. One day I can do twice what I usually do, while the other day it feels hard to do even the simplest tasks.
I have a thing for Middle Eastern music
Found this artist just a few days ago. One of the chillest beats ever.
Found that Nujabes-feel. Good lyrics too.
Death Grips. This you gotta listen on high volume and good speakers.
One can lose oneself in this music.
