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This is a blog post where I stop playing guitar and instead give it away.
I'd been playing guitar for 10 years. I never really received any tutoring in it at all, tried a couple of times but I didn't like it so I stopped again very soon after starting. I played guitar for fun, not to get better, so what's the point in paying someone to tell me what I do wrong. That doesn't really sound like fun. Anyway, I liked to think that I got decent at it anyway simply because I spent so much time playing and thinking about it. I played guitar before I went to school, at school I sat there thinking about how I need to put my fingers on the fretboard for this new song I was learning, when I came home I could suddenly play it a lot better and when I went to bed I thought about playing again.
I live with my sister in an apartment. My parents bought this apartment because my dad wanted to invest in real estate and he wanted to use it for work so he didn't have to travel so much all the time. Then he got a new job and my sister moved in and then I moved in because there was a spare room and she couldn't really pay rent on her own.
When I moved in I thought I could just continue to play the guitar. It's an accoustic guitar so it's not really very loud my sister is very busy so she's not around a lot. But every evening she would be there and I would play for maybe an average of 15 minutes a day while she was around and apparently that annoyed her.
"Can you stop playing guitar, it sounds like shit and it's annoying."
I was really shocked when I heard this, it was just out of the blue as I hadn't been playing guitar all day. I thought I was okay at playing guitar. Not good, not something anyone else would necessarily enjoy, but I really didn't think I was shit. I never got much feedback because I mostly play for myself and then for my friends when there happened to be a guitar at a party and we all wanted to sing out loud and drunkenly, but shit? Also, I didn't imagine that my sister would ever say such a thing to me because I think it's an odd thing to say. I get that maybe sometimes she would want me to be quiet because she had to concentrate or whatever but then you can easily say that in a different way. "I need to do this and that tonight, could you try not to be very loud?". I wouldn't make a sound then.
I don't know what happened. I think I am good with criticism, I get it a lot and I think I'm very good at either using it for something constructive, or ignore it if I can't. At work, things are never like my boss intended but then I fix them. At university, my groups always think my stuff is weird and wrong (until a professors evaluates it and he thinks perfectly good). But, and I don't know why, this just got to me somehow. I don't know if it was what was said, or how it was said, or something else entirely, but somehow playing guitar was just not the same for me anymore. This was like a month ago and I didn't play guitar for like two weeks. Then I thought to myself "pick up the fucking guitar and play" and I picked it up and I couldn't really remember any of my songs or if I had even ever had any songs and my fingers felt stiff and unruly and they didn't do anything, nothing happened. "Play a fucking chord, you know how a chord goes". I played a chord, strummed it a few times, then another chord. Then I put the guitar down. It used to be, when I picked up my guitar and put it in my lap, whatever frivolous things was worrying me would just vanish and instead I would just get an instant surge of creative and physical energy. Nothing happened. There is just nothing in it for me anymore.
Then the other day my mother just came visiting, and while we were all talking she told me that one of my younger cousins (I have like a billion) wished for a cheap guitar for his birthday. "He can have mine" I just said.
"Okay, I'll let his mother know" my mother said.
"Nice, then I don't have to hear that terrible monotonous noise all the time" my sister said.
I didn't say anything, didn't even dare to think anything.
Thinking about it now, it's weird that my mother did bat an eyelid when I gave away the item that was my only constructive hobby for ten years. Maybe my dad would have been different? He's always very absent-minded because of his job but when he's mentally around he seems to be the only one to give a thought about anything. Who knows. Anyway, I don't play anymore so I don't need it anymore. I hope my cousin will find the joy in playing it that I inexplicably lost.
I don't know what happened and I don't know why it happened or if anything has anything to do with anything else. These are just random facts in a blog post. Maybe I deserved this, maybe I didn't, maybe I just got struck by lightning the other day and I didn't notice but now things are just different.
Anyway, my point is: well I don't know. I thought I had a point but apparently not. Don't go out during a storm.
Thanks for reading?
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Dunno how your relations with your sister usually are, but from this story she kinda sounds like a cunt 
Why not just try harder to improve instead of just giving up because you got negative feedback once? Guitar and music in general is a wonderful thing and I find it a bit sad to just give up everything like that :/
Like wtf, if you enjoy it, fuck the haters and continue what you're doing, you even said that your sister wasn't home all the time so you can play when she's away, or dunno.
I play guitar since I'm 9 (i'm 24 now, and i'm not even good for someone who's been playing for 15 years) and I just can't comprehend why you would stop. Get that guitar, stop being a whiny bitch and play wtf.
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On April 10 2014 23:25 BobMcJohnson wrote:Dunno how your relations with your sister usually are, but from this story she kinda sounds like a cunt Why not just try harder to improve instead of just giving up because you got negative feedback once? Guitar and music in general is a wonderful thing and I find it a bit sad to just give up everything like that :/ Like wtf, if you enjoy it, fuck the haters and continue what you're doing, you even said that your sister wasn't home all the time so you can play when she's away, or dunno. I play guitar since I'm 9 (i'm 24 now, and i'm not even good for someone who's been playing for 15 years) and I just can't comprehend why you would stop. Get that guitar, stop being a whiny bitch and play wtf.
more or less what i thought while reading. make arrangements with your sister about when it's appropriate to practice, don't be discouraged because she doesn't like what practice sounds like!
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On April 10 2014 23:40 y0su wrote:Show nested quote +On April 10 2014 23:25 BobMcJohnson wrote:Dunno how your relations with your sister usually are, but from this story she kinda sounds like a cunt Why not just try harder to improve instead of just giving up because you got negative feedback once? Guitar and music in general is a wonderful thing and I find it a bit sad to just give up everything like that :/ Like wtf, if you enjoy it, fuck the haters and continue what you're doing, you even said that your sister wasn't home all the time so you can play when she's away, or dunno. I play guitar since I'm 9 (i'm 24 now, and i'm not even good for someone who's been playing for 15 years) and I just can't comprehend why you would stop. Get that guitar, stop being a whiny bitch and play wtf. more or less what i thought while reading. make arrangements with your sister about when it's appropriate to practice, don't be discouraged because she doesn't like what practice sounds like!
Yeah also this, no matter how good you are or will be, remember that practice sounds like shit, and if it sounds good it means that you're not practicing efficiently. When you have to repeat a part 1000 times to get it right, guess what, repeating a 5 seconds pattern 10x slower that normal, 20 times in a row, you could be fucking Jimi Hendrix IT WILL STILL SOUND LIKE SHIT AND BE ANNOYING TO OTHER PEOPLE, but that's how you'll get good, so don't discourage yourself.
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u guys are all pretty arrogant
his sister was beeing truthful to him
that's the highest mark of consideration any critic can give to someone
i mean, it maybe really sounded like shit
rather than sad id feel embarassed....
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Even if it did sound like shit, based on the story, his sister needs to work on tact and on how to actively solve problems instead of the passive-aggresive BS.
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On April 11 2014 00:09 psychopat wrote:
Even if it did sound like shit, based on the story, his sister needs to work on tact and on how to actively solve problems instead of the passive-aggresive BS.
why is beeing honest beeing agressive ?
its just ppl that can't take anything at all really imo
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It's really tough to judge since nobody knows how his guitar playing sounds. So judging the sister or saying she was truthful isn't really gonna work, since we're just missing vital information here. One could still give criticism in a more constructive manner though.
In any case, did you enjoy playing the guitar? If yes, then I wouldn't give it away or get another one maybe (since you already said you were giving it away).
I'm not very good with it too and I've been playing on and off for 10 years maybe. I can't really play any overly advanced stuff, but every once in a while I just like to pick it up and play. And I can usually pick it up pretty well even if I haven't played for months.
When you said you had problems remembering songs or playing it's probably because you were preoccupied with the criticism in the back of your head.
Maybe you should ask your sister for more detailed criticism.
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The fact that it sounds like shit or not, that he is good or not or that he actively tries to get better or not doesn't even matter, what matters is that if he does enjoy it why would he stop?
And even if actually does sound like shit, his sister could at least give constructive feedback instead of just telling him that he sucks.
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On April 11 2014 00:04 Boonbag wrote:
u guys are all pretty arrogant
his sister was beeing truthful to him
that's the highest mark of consideration any critic can give to someone
i mean, it maybe really sounded like shit
rather than sad id feel embarassed....
No, she was being a cunt.
Being truthful is saying "You arent very good at guitar, it doesnt sound really good to me at all" not "can you stop playing guitar it sounds like shit"
Just downright rude really, which is exactly what i'd expect from my own sister, who is also a cunt.
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So what I'm getting from this, is you loved the guitar as a creative outlet. Your sister telling you that your playing sounded like shit shocked you - but what I don't get is this:
You expressed to us that you never cared if your guitar playing was technically good or not.
I'm sad that your sister saying that caused such a big shock to you. Truly, it doesn't matter whether you were good or bad, a virtuoso or just a player who likes to strum a few chords. The real loss, in my eyes, is that you just lost a creative outlet that you had held on to for 10 years.
Your sister had no right to say such things to you. But who knows? People are complex. They don't always act with...consideration. She might have just had other thoughts on her mind...or maybe she was just blunt.
So what I hope for you, now that you no longer find that magic with a guitar, - is to find another little hobby which makes you feel that way. And then, if your sister ever tells you that what you're creating is shit, you have the right to tell her that you're not doing it for her.
Know the feeling bro. Find the magic!
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Netherlands6181 Posts
I feel sad for you prplhz
I agree with Omnishroud on this one, she could have put it much nicer. And the fact your mom didn't care... idk. I think regardless of what they say you should get a new one. If it helps you express yourself then you should do it.
I consider myself an artist, and I often do graphic work that gets sent back for changing and fixing, I don't take it personally, it is just catering to the tastes of others. But when I do art for myself it is me putting myself in that picture. I pour my feelings into it, I colour it as I see fit, I stylize the images to how I see it in my head. If people criticize me for my interpretation of something (granted I mostly get a 'that is lovely' and that's all) I do feel start to feel inadequate. Or when I put my work alongside some of the artists I have seen online, even here on TL.
I guess it is just something that is supposed to motivate us to get better, and not deaden our spirits.
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On April 11 2014 00:13 Boonbag wrote:Show nested quote +On April 11 2014 00:09 psychopat wrote:
Even if it did sound like shit, based on the story, his sister needs to work on tact and on how to actively solve problems instead of the passive-aggresive BS. why is beeing honest beeing agressive ? its just ppl that can't take anything at all really imo
Because people have feelings and offending them is a good way to create more problems then there were.
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On April 11 2014 00:04 Boonbag wrote:
u guys are all pretty arrogant
his sister was beeing truthful to him
that's the highest mark of consideration any critic can give to someone
i mean, it maybe really sounded like shit
rather than sad id feel embarassed....
You can tell the truth tactfully, and it's often in your best interest to do so when you're communicating with someone who plays a significant role in your life (family, friends, roommates, coworkers, etc.).
Next time your girlfriend asks you if she looks good in a dress you dislike, I dare you to *truthfully* pinpoint every flaw about her style and appearance instead of saying something like "Sure but I really like this other dress better on you".
Having people skills is incredibly important in life.
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TLADT24920 Posts
On April 11 2014 01:18 Qwyn wrote:
Your sister had no right to say such things to you. But who knows? People are complex. They don't always act with...consideration. She might have just had other thoughts on her mind...or maybe she was just blunt.
actually, she could say what she wants lol. She could tell him his playing sounds like shit. Could she be nicer about it? sure. Does she have to sugar coat it though? well, that's really up to her though it's better to avoid offending someone. Should he take it to heart? well, I guess it depends. He did say he doesn't care about improving and that it was something that he enjoyed so he should've just thanked her for the feedback and just continued playing it whenever she's not around as to not bother her. The alternative is to prove her wrong by becoming better at it and such.
Also there:
On April 10 2014 23:25 BobMcJohnson wrote:
Why not just try harder to improve instead of just giving up because you got negative feedback once? Guitar and music in general is a wonderful thing and I find it a bit sad to just give up everything like that :/
On April 11 2014 00:18 PandaCore wrote:
In any case, did you enjoy playing the guitar? If yes, then I wouldn't give it away or get another one maybe (since you already said you were giving it away).
Maybe you should ask your sister for more detailed criticism.
Either way, I don't think you should've given it up after 10 years. Not being able to withstand negative criticism won't help you later on imo. Hope you can still get it back if you've given it away!
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On April 11 2014 02:38 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On April 11 2014 00:04 Boonbag wrote:
u guys are all pretty arrogant
his sister was beeing truthful to him
that's the highest mark of consideration any critic can give to someone
i mean, it maybe really sounded like shit
rather than sad id feel embarassed.... You can tell the truth tactfully, and it's often in your best interest to do so when you're communicating with someone who plays a significant role in your life (family, friends, roommates, coworkers, etc.). Next time your girlfriend asks you if she looks good in a dress you dislike, I dare you to *truthfully* pinpoint every flaw about her style and appearance instead of saying something like "Sure but I really like this other dress better on you". Having people skills is incredibly important in life.
dude my gf has 0 flaw
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On April 11 2014 03:11 Boonbag wrote:Show nested quote +On April 11 2014 02:38 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On April 11 2014 00:04 Boonbag wrote:
u guys are all pretty arrogant
his sister was beeing truthful to him
that's the highest mark of consideration any critic can give to someone
i mean, it maybe really sounded like shit
rather than sad id feel embarassed.... You can tell the truth tactfully, and it's often in your best interest to do so when you're communicating with someone who plays a significant role in your life (family, friends, roommates, coworkers, etc.). Next time your girlfriend asks you if she looks good in a dress you dislike, I dare you to *truthfully* pinpoint every flaw about her style and appearance instead of saying something like "Sure but I really like this other dress better on you". Having people skills is incredibly important in life. dude my gf has 0 flaw
See? You're learning already. If you can't tell the truth tactfully, lie your ass off.
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On April 11 2014 03:19 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On April 11 2014 03:11 Boonbag wrote:On April 11 2014 02:38 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On April 11 2014 00:04 Boonbag wrote:
u guys are all pretty arrogant
his sister was beeing truthful to him
that's the highest mark of consideration any critic can give to someone
i mean, it maybe really sounded like shit
rather than sad id feel embarassed.... You can tell the truth tactfully, and it's often in your best interest to do so when you're communicating with someone who plays a significant role in your life (family, friends, roommates, coworkers, etc.). Next time your girlfriend asks you if she looks good in a dress you dislike, I dare you to *truthfully* pinpoint every flaw about her style and appearance instead of saying something like "Sure but I really like this other dress better on you". Having people skills is incredibly important in life. dude my gf has 0 flaw See? You're learning already. If you can't tell the truth tactfully, lie your ass off.
no im beeing serious x_x
that's why i lose all our arguments =(
they'd rewrite the garden story of the bible cuz of her
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i was on the other end of this situation and trust me, the sister was probably as tactful as she could be.
When you hear the same stupid part of a song for even only 30 mins every day, you will lose it.
But its a bit stupid to go totally emo after your sibling argued with you.
Maybe you just secretly didnt want to play guitar and you now have a way out.
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buy an electric guitar and plug it into headphones
electric guitars are sweet
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I play guitar for a living, my girlfriend is probably sick of hearing me practicing 4 measures of a solo over and over for 3-4 hours at a time until I've got it nailed.
I''ve been a professional singer/guitarist since I left school at 16, almost 15 years ago now. When I used to play up in my room, my mother would always complain about "that horrible racket" I was making. When she first came to see me play with my band, she was shocked, her exact words to me "I didn't know you could sing like that. You sound terrible when you are in your bedroom" to which i replied "That's what practice sounds like, when I'm learning something new, and its pushing my voice, it will sound bad. Once I've got it nailed, I don't practice it anymore except for at rehearsals with the band".
Needless to say, music is a personal thing. Some people will like everything you do, other will hate everything. If you don't enjoy it anymore then it's cool, but don't let others stop you.
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On April 11 2014 05:45 TheFish7 wrote:
buy an electric guitar and plug it into headphones
electric guitars are sweet
problem solved!
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On April 11 2014 07:41 emythrel wrote:
I play guitar for a living, my girlfriend is probably sick of hearing me practicing 4 measures of a solo over and over for 3-4 hours at a time until I've got it nailed.
I''ve been a professional singer/guitarist since I left school at 16, almost 15 years ago now. When I used to play up in my room, my mother would always complain about "that horrible racket" I was making. When she first came to see me play with my band, she was shocked, her exact words to me "I didn't know you could sing like that. You sound terrible when you are in your bedroom" to which i replied "That's what practice sounds like, when I'm learning something new, and its pushing my voice, it will sound bad. Once I've got it nailed, I don't practice it anymore except for at rehearsals with the band".
Needless to say, music is a personal thing. Some people will like everything you do, other will hate everything. If you don't enjoy it anymore then it's cool, but don't let others stop you.
This is the advice of champions. Get another guitar (it can be an electric to plug it in with headphones if you'd like, just don't hurt your ears man), keep chugging. Also, get a teacher. I know you said you didn't like it, and I didn't at first either, but once I found my current teacher, I grew leaps and bounds simply because I liked the guy and I liked guitar rather than just liking guitar. I promise its worth your while.
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On April 10 2014 23:25 BobMcJohnson wrote:Dunno how your relations with your sister usually are, but from this story she kinda sounds like a cunt
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I played guitar for fun, not to get better
Man if people would just do this more; Thats actually how many got famous, and its so much fun when your just worrying about having fun and not just boosting the ego trying to become a technical machine.
Also talk to your sister. try to soften the shock, and tell her that what she said really hurt you. Not exactly what she said, but how she said it. People can say things and not realize the impact of their words. I' m sure that if you talk with her about it, even if she will not like your music, she will not want you to give up something you like, because very probably she loves you and wants only the best for you.
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On April 11 2014 05:45 TheFish7 wrote:
buy an electric guitar and plug it into headphones
electric guitars are sweet
That is the only valid answer to this thread.
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Sister who probably enjoyed the quietness and freedom when she lived alone in that apartment has to adapt to sharing it with her brother. Couldn't so she raged. You overreacted, just stop playing when she's around.
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Any music, whether good or bad is annoying when you don't want to hear it. People practicing instruments always sounds like shit or gets tiring really fast, no matter how good they are. A piano sonata, even when played perfectly will annoy you when it's played 3 times in a row.
I don't know the relationship with your sister, but me and my brother tend to insult each other regularly (maybe a competition thing), but we hold absolutely no grudges about that. I always saw it as something that siblings just do.
Now, I don't know how if you are genuinely shit at guitar. I've known some people who just have 0 musical talent. They aren't able to play in time at all, but don't even notice that they are completely off. I'm not talking about minor timing or groove errors, everyone does that, I'm talking about playing 5/4 when the signature is 4/4. Maybe you are one of those people? When you play with other people (do you?), does it work? Have you tried recording and listening to yourself?
Now sometimes there are just those days where I can't even stand my own playing. I pick up the guitar, everything I play sounds like shit and I put it down again. It's all about the inspiration. If you don't want to give up guitar, get an electric and practice with headphones, It's what I do most of the time since I live with 4 other people (my roommate absolutely cannot stand the sound of a metronome or distorted guitar, it drives her nuts). My roommate is the bass player in a quite promising band. There is absolutely nothing wrong with his playing from a musical standpoint, still, listening to him playing is annoying to me when I'm not specifically there to listen.
so I guess TL;DR: it's normal that people don't enjoy you practicing near them, it has nothing to do with your skill. Get an electric and don't give up
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Dude, everyone likes different music. Just because your sister doesn't like your music doesn't mean it isn't good.
You deserve music time.
IMO you should be more assertive :D
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EPT
